Showing 1 - 10 of 34 results. |
Alp: I'm ready for the day! I have my bacon chewing gum, I have my bacon belt...
Alp: ...my bacon cologne, my bacon wallet, my bacon lip balm, and even my bacon dental floss!
Aaron: When will this insanity end? Isn't it enough to just eat bacon?!
Alp: It's not a food, it's a lifestyle! / Aaron: If you die of cardiac arrest, how can it be called a LIFEstyle?!
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=209
[[Ferdinand and a man wearing a jacket, shirt and sunglasses are standing in a field. Ferdinand is holding a slice of bacon]] / Ferdinand: Want some bacon? / Man: Well, I'm on a "See Food" diet. If I see food, I eat it.
Man: Get it? Ha ha ha! / Ferdinand: Yeah, *see* food, ha ha ha!
Ferdinand: Wait, aren't you blind? / [[Man holds stomach and frowns.]] / Man: Yes, I'm starving.
{{Hover text: Hopefully I haven't offended too many of my blind readers with this comic.}}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=512
[[Ferdinand and a man wearing a jacket, shirt and sunglasses are standing in a field. Ferdinand is holding a slice of bacon]] / Ferdinand: Want some bacon? / Man: Well, I'm on a "See Food" diet. If I see food, I eat it.
Man: Get it? Ha ha ha! / Ferdinand: Yeah, *see* food, ha ha ha!
Ferdinand: Wait, aren't you blind? / [[Man holds stomach and frowns.]] / Man: Yes, I'm starving.
{{Hover text: Hopefully I haven't offended too many of my blind readers with this comic.}}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=512
Vegetarians Can Eat Bacon, Right?
[[ Ferdinand in a yellow-green field with a green tree, meets a young woman. ]] / Ferdinand: Want some bacon? / Woman: [[ Smiling gently ]] Sorry, I'm a vegetarian.
Ferdinand: Don't worry, it won't necessarily make you a carnivore.
[[ The woman is getting annoyed... ]] / Ferdinand: For example, I know straight girls who have made out with other chicks, but I don't consider them lesbians.
[[ Ferdinand, now lying on the ground, has been thoroughly roughed up! Hurting, he groans: ]] / Ferdinand: Maybe she _is_ a lesbian because she clearly doesn't appreciate a man's opinion.
{{alt text: Eating bacon doesn't make you a carnivore anymore than straight girls making out makes them lesbians. }}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=428
Vintage Calamities and the Bacon Machine
[[ Non-anthropomorphic Ferdinand and a fairly oddly dressed, human-shaped creature, probably Alp, look at a machine any Victorian-age Steam-punk type would be justifiably proud of. A large pig prepares to enter a somewhat smaller door at the left-hand side of the machine. ]] / <<Chugga, chugga, chugga!>> / <<Clank, clank!>> / <<Click, click, click>> / <<WHEEE!>> / Alp: My newest, spiffiest invention! Just squeeze in a pig and out shoots ready-to-eat bacon! / [[ A single strip of bacon shoots out the right-hand side!]] / <<POIT!>> / Ferdinand: Great Woundikins!
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=353
It Came from the Drain, Part 1
[[Harold and Alp in the kitchen, Alp pouring something down the drain.]] / Harold: Alp, *What* are you doing? / Alp: Disposing of old bacon grease. / Harold: *Jeez*, how much bacon do you *eat?*
Alp: You know, *the usual*. Bacon omelets, BLTs, bacon cheese dip, bacon on salad, on my potato, chocolate dipped bacon, bacon cheese cake, fried sticks of butter wrapped in bacon.
Harold: But Alp, you *can't* just dump grease down the sink. *There's laws.* / Alp: *Good point!* Thanks for reminding me!
Harold: You *don't* wanna be stuck cleaning hardened grease out of the pipes.
Harold: --Wait, what's *this?!*
Alp: *Don't worry, no more bacon grease. This is *nitric acid*. / Harold: ALP!
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=146
[[Harold returns from shopping...]] / Hey, Ferd and Alp, I'm back from the supermarket!
Ferdinand, Alp: Did you get the Bacon?! / Harold: Of course! Here's Canadian Bacon. / [[Harold hands over a packet of round pink stuff]]
[[Harold appears to have been badly beaten and nearly knocked-out with pieces of round pink stuff.]] / Harold: <<groaning>> What do they have against Canadians? / {{alt text: Make no mistake about it: Canadian bacon is NOT bacon!}}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=367
Raymond: The text bluntly reminds us that the picture is nothing more than a representation. / Harold: But there's also the irony that _everything_ we see is really just a representation.
Harold: What do you think, Ferd? / Ferdinand: [[weeping]] It's so _sad_!! What could be more heartbreaking than to realize it's _not_ _real_?!?
[[ Our guys are viewing a painting by Ren? Magritte of a thick piece of bacon, with the text "Ceci n'est pas du bacon." (This is not bacon.) ]] / Ferdinand: Sob!
{{ Title: You see, Magritte was actually making a reference to Francis Bacon in this painting.... }}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=579
[[A hamster, Harold, and a groundhog, Ferdinand (aka Ferd), are walking outside]] / Harold: The theory of evolution is pretty amazing when you think about it.
Harold: If you take evolution to its logical conclusion, it implies that any species on earth can evolve into any other species if given the right pressures of natural selection and enough time.
Harold: Wait, what are you doing? / [[Ferd is holding a knife and fork, and has a bib tied around his neck.]] / Ferd: I'm waiting to see if you evolve into bacon. / Harold: Bacon's not a species!!!
{{alt text: Ironically enough, four billion years later the world witnessed the birth of the first bacon creature, which just happened to be a direct descendent of Harold.}}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=542
[[ Alp and Ferdinand perform, with Ferdinand on the microphone. ]] / Alp: <<Bump bump chah! Bump bump chah!>> / Ferdinand: *PORK!* The magical meat, flavor knocks ya off your feet, so yo, take a seat, and listen to this beat!
Ferdinand: It comes in many kinds, like ribs or fried pork rinds, chicharrones is what you find, with Spanish senoritas so fine!
Ferdinand: But bacon's the best, there's really no contest, it's better than the rest, it's worth going into cardiac arrest! / [[Alp scratching on a turntable:]] / Alp: <<Wika, wika, cardiac arrest, wika, ca-ca-cardiac arrest.>>
Ferdinand: Shout out to Apple-wood smoked, extra thick slab of bacon! *PEACE!* / [[ Ferdinand drops the mic. He's wearing a large chain with a cross made of two bacon strips.]] / {{alt text: Ribs, fried pork rinds, bacon. What magical animal produces all of these great things?}}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=361
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