Time Trubble Part Nine Hundred
[[ Caveman Jeffrey and Cavewoman Tallahassee are in a forest, dressed in animal skins. Jeffrey has a gold nose ring. ]]
Jeffrey: I don't think Weedmaster P caused World War 3 at all! I think he moved the present to the past!
Tallahassee Econolodge: Then why are we here? And why do we know how to talk?
[[ Weedmaster P is in the foreground rutting with a "female caveman" ]]
Weedmaster P, the way everything was before you changed time is the way it's supposed to be. It's not supposed to be how it is now.
Weedmaster P: I'M BUSY
[[ Jeffrey gestures with his hand at a vast natural landscape. ]]
Jeffrey: The anti-depressant-addled masses are supposed to be watching shitty TV shows while being ruled by dishonest, greedy aristocrats. Not... this.
[[ Weedmaster P is wearing underwear and putting on a green shirt. ]]
Weedmaster P: YEAH THIS PLACE SUCKS ALL THESE CAVE WIMMINZ IS HAIRIER THAN FULL GROWN ITALIAN DUDES
Tallahassee Econolodge: Well how do we get back?!
[[ Weedmaster P is fully dressed now, holding the time machine. ]]
Weedmaster P: ALLS WE GOTS TO DO IS GO BACK AND STOP ME FROM DIGGIN UP THIS DANG OLD TIME MACHINE IN THE FIRST PLACE
Jeffrey: No!
[[ Green-shirted, clear-eyed Weedmaster P from the present confronts his former, red-shirted self, who is holding a shovel. ]]
Narrator: THREE YEARS AGO
Weedmaster P (present): IF I WAS YOU I WOULD NOT DIG THERE AND I AM YOU
Weedmaster P (past): AAH
[[ A view of a partially dug hole in the ground. Weedmaster P of the past walks away. A raccoon stands near the hole. ]]
Weedmaster P (past): WEIRD
[[ Female caveman appears to be pregnant, holding a red apple in front of a smiling snake. ]]
Narrator: THE DISTANT PAST...