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[[Aaron and a guy from MENSA are standing across from each other. The guy has a tweed jacket and a bad comb over.]] / Aaron: Hey MENSA Guy! Have any of your members ever won the Nobel prize? / MENSA Guy: No.
Aaron: Have any important scientific contributions ever been made by a MENSA member? / MENSA Guy: Not Really.
Aaron: With all those high IQs and hundreds of thousands of members, has anyone from MENSA ever done anything important?
MENSA Guy: There has been one porn star. / Aaron: Really?! I have a new-found respect for MENSA! / MENSA Guy: And a cartoonist. / Aaron: I rescind my last statement.
{{Fun fact: the porn star is Asia Carrera and the cartoonist is Scott Adams of Dilbert fame.}}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=216
[[Aaron and the guy from MENSA are standing across from one another.]] / Aaron: Don't be sad MENSA Guy, you're not completely useless. / MENSA Guy: I'm not?
Aaron: A physicist told me this slip of paper holds the key to all of the secrets of the universe. If only someone could decode it!
[[Aaron holds up the piece of paper, which reads: Complete the following analogy: Pear is to apple as Queen Latifah is to ____, a.) Rowdy Roddy Piper, b.) Spuds MacKenzie, c.) Pope Pius IX, d.) Nietzche, e.) Ol' Dirty Bastard]]
[[MENSA Guy is sweating with nervous excitement.]] / MENSA Guy: Oh my god! I can do this!! I can do this!! / Aaron: It's a joke, have some self-res-- Wait, did you wet yourself?
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=217
[[Aaron and a woman from MENSA are standing across from one another. They are apparently out in a forest. The woman has glasses that are reminiscent of a character from the Simpsons.]] / Aaron: So you belong to MENSA, huh? / MENSA Woman: Yes, it's an elite club that requires its members to have IQs within the top two percent.
Aaron: What do you do with all that fantastic brain power? Solve world hunger? Find new energy sources? Stop Poverty?
MENSA Woman: We do word and math puzzles, mostly. / Aaron: Wow, Inspiring.
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=215
Aaron: Recently we were contacted by American MENSA and told that one of our shirts violated their trademark. / [[ Ferdinand and Aaron are wearing the shirts in question. ]]
Ferdinand: Actually, the shirt was a reference to the German word for "cafeteria.". We were lampooning the low IQ of cafeteria workers. / Aaron: Still, we removed the shirt while consulting the Calamities lawyer staff.
Ferdinand: We're excited to announce the shirt is now back. / Aaron: Because it'd be amusing to see the argument for why our shirt is an infringement and not a parody.
[[ Scene shifts to a court room setting. We see the judge and a pair of spokesmen representing MENSA. One is standing, holding up one of the shirts and addressing the bench...]] / MENSA Attorney: Your Honor, my client believes this shirt will _confuse_ potential customers. / Judge: I thought your client had a high IQ.
{{Alt text: A comic about my recent email from American Mensa, Ltd.}} / {{title: I hope this comic doesn't lead to me getting a bunch of angry emails from cafeteria workers. }}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=517
Aaron: Time to answer some reader mail. This one is from Barbara concerning our recent comics on MENSA.
Harold: Why would you attack this particular group? I have to assume you tried to join and the rejection letter hit you hard!
[[Harold and Aaron stare at each other.]]
Aaron: Barbara, thank you for answering your question for us.
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=220
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