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| Intellectual Suicide | [[ Harold and Aaron, out walking.]]
/ Aaron: I *beg* you Harold! *Don't* give up! You have to be *stronger* than that! There's still *so much* to explore in this world! / Harold: No, it's *too late*. Go on without me. *Nothing* can help me now. It's *better* this way. / [[ Harold walks off. Aaron... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=301 |
| Mustache Musings | [[Ferdinand is standing across from a man with a black mustache.]]
/ Ferdinand: Nice mustache. / Man: Hey, thanks. / Ferdinand: So are you gay, Mexican, or Middle Eastern?
/ Man: Actually, I came in a time machine from the year 1983.
/ Ferdinand: So you're a porn star. http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=302 |
| More Mustache Musings | [[Ferd encounters a man with a mustache.]]
/ Ferd: Nice mustache. / Mustache Man: Hey, thanks. / Mustache Man: But it's actually nose hair.
/ [[Ferd has a shocked "eww ick" sort of expression.]] / {{ alt text: A comic (webcomic) about mustaches and nose hair. In particular how they're probably one and... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=303 |
| The Theory of Every Single Thing | Ferdinand: Sucker physicists! Why do they waste their time searching for a "Theory of Everything"?
/ Raymond: What's wrong with that? / Ferdinand: It's all in vain! Godel showed that mathematics is incomplete. Since the theory would certainly use math, it too must necessarily be incomplete! / Raymond:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=304 |
| Holiday Spirit | [[Aaron and Harold at the mall.]]
/ Aaron: Christmas time at the Mall! You can really sense the Holiday Spirit in the air. / Harold: Are you referring to all the decorations and the constant playing of Christmas music? / Aaron: No, I meant that burning plastic smell from all the sliding credit cards. / {{... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=305 |
| Lil' Calamities and Careers | Standing man: Your career assessment test is complete. / Standing man: According to the results, you don't know anything! I wouldn't bet on you graduating from junior high! / Lil' Ferdinand: Then what job am I best suited for? / Standing man: A cop,
/ Standing man: here's a badge and a gun.
/ Lil'... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=306 |
| The Demon-Haunted World | Aaron: Even with all the advances science has made, there are still fundamental questions that haven't been answered. / Aaron: And as Carl Sagan said, pseudoscience rears its ugly head whenever Science isn't filling a need of society. / Harold: What's Science waiting for? Why can't it do more to provide... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=307 |
| Guest Comic by J. G. Fisher | [[ Harold and Raymond at a bar.]]
/ Harold: How's your painting going these days?
/ Raymond: Not too well. Total lack of inspiration. / Harold: They say most great artists get their inspiration from day-to-day life--
/ Raymond: Yeah. Nonsense, if you ask me-- / Raymond: --For example, what kinda inspiration... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=308 |
| Guest Comic by Dan Long | [[ Aaron and Alp outdoors. Alp has a new invention, labeled... ]]
/ Aaron: The Tree Talker 5000?
/ Alp: It's my new invention! It translates the tree's rustling noises into speech. / < http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=309 |
| Guest Comic by John Harmon | [[ Aaron and Ferd shopping]]
/ Aaron: You know the most sickening part about all this Christmas stuff? The fact that most people who celebrate it are devote Christians who don't even know what their holiday is truly about. / Aaron: Christmas was originally a Roman holiday. It was a weeklong celebration... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=310 |
| Santa's Watching You | [[Harold is reading from a book at his desk.]]
/ Harold: He sees you when you're sleeping. / Harold: He knows when you're awake. / Harold: He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake! / Harold: What is this? 1984?
/ Aaron: Santa Claus is Big Brother. / {{alt text:Aaron and Harold... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=311 |
| A River Runs Through It | [[ Alp, pouring quarts of Eggnog into a trough. Many empty quarts of Eggnog are piled on the floor around him.]]
/ Aaron: What the heck are you doing? / [[ Aaron follows the eggnog stream out the door, one trough emptying into another, which carries it onward... ]] / [[ To the top of the stairs, where... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=312 |
| Ho! Ho! Ho! | [[ Harold and Ferdinand walking ]]
/ Ferdinand: Oh my gosh! Is that who I think it is?! I gotta talk to him!
/ Man off panel: Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! / [[ Partial view of a man with a white beard, dressed in a red suit with white fur trim. Ferdinand addresses the man...]]
/ Ferdinand: I'm so lucky I... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=313 |
| We Wish You a Merry Pagan Christmas | [[ Aaron, hanging a ball on an Xmas bush.]]
/ Harold: A Christmas tree? I'm surprised to see you embracing a religious holiday. / Aaron: C'mon, we all know that Christmas is a pagan winter solstice celebration, dressed up as a Christian holiday to gain converts, which has reached new heights of popularity... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=314 |
| Best Christmas Ever | Alp: Merry Christmas Ferd! Here's your present.
/ Ferdinand: I got you one too! Hope you like it! / < http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=315 |
| Protective Measures | [[Aaron and Ferdinand outside the house.]]
/ Ferdinand: Check it out! I got a sign to protect our house.
/ [[Sign: Beware of Dog. Trespassers enter at their own risk.]] / Aaron: What's the point? Is that really going to scare away potential burglars?
/ Ferd: Hmm... / Ferdinand: Ta-dah! Better?
/ [[New... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=316 |
| Spuds MacKenzie | [[Aaron and Ferdinand out walking.]]
/ Ferdinand: You know who I miss? *Spuds Mackenzie!*
/ Aaron: Selling beer with a cute mascot that kids love-- What could go wrong? / Ferdinand: He did have an important message: Only party with Bud Light. Everything else is just a light.
/ Aaron: Ironically he died... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=317 |
| Mysterious Ways | [[ Harold and Raymond sitting on a hill top watching the sun set.]]
/ Harold: If there is a god, then how do we explain the confusing state of the world? / Harold: How can there be so much that is good and joyful, but at the same time so much pain and suffering? / Raymond: God is performing the ultimate... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=318 |
| Doing the Experiment | [[ Aaron talking to Ferdinand. Ferdinand sitting at a table with a glass of milk.]]
/ Aaron: Even though old windows are thicker at the bottom, it's actually not true that glass flows like a liquid. / Ferdinand: Well, here's a glass. We can do the experiment. / [[Ferdinand stares at the glass. Time... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=319 |
| Someone's Going to Pay | Harold: We're *excited* to announce that Calamities of Nature will now *_only_* be available to paying subscribers. / Ferdinand: for $30 per year, you can read our hilarious archives and participate with *what's left* of our vibrant community! / Harold: It'll be *great!* Take *our* word for it! Just... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=320 |
| Chaos Theory | [[Ferdinand and Raymond out for a walk.]]
/ Raymond: In complex systems small actions can often have large and surprising results. / [[ A butterfly flaps by.]]
/ Raymond: For example, it is often remarked that the flapping of a butterfly's wings on one continent can lead to a tornado on another. / Ferdinand:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=321 |
| Hot Debate | [[Ferdinand and Raymond out for a walk.]]
/ Raymond: If you needed brain surgery would you perform it yourself?
/ Ferdinand: No, I'd have a surgeon do it. / Raymond: Would you ever calculate inspiraling black hole trajectories yourself?
/ Ferdinand: No, I'd talk to a theoretical physicist. / Raymond:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=322 |
| Living in the Moment | [[Aaron and Harold walking along the ocean.]]
/ Harold: I always wonder when I will finally become a success. When will the life I aspire for finally begin? / [[ A rainbow appears in the distance. Aaron notices, but Harold continues with his thought.]]
/ Harold: I forever feel like I'm struggling to... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=323 |
| New Year's Resolutions | Harold: Have you been able to keep your new year's resolutions? / Ferdinand: Yeah, in fact I've already lost ten pounds for my diet. / Ferdinand: Although perhaps I should have distributed the weight loss more evenly.
/ [[Ferdinand appears to have lost weight only from his now pencil-like arms.]] / {{alt... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=324 |
| Talking to God | [[Aaron and Harold in a bench-swing hanging from a tree]]
/ Harold: So you think that if God really did write the 10 commandments, then we missed out on a big opportunity? / Aaron: Yeah, how often do we get to talk directly to God? Do we really need to be told that murder is wrong? No duh, God! / Harold:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=325 |
| High on the Hog, Part 1 | Aaron: What's with the funny outfit?
/ Biker: I'm a Harley rider. / Aaron: So you're one of those people who are so in need of an ego boost that you drive around town waking up little babies to make yourself feel important? / Biker: I can't help it if my bike's engine is so big.
/ Aaron: Well, at least... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=326 |
| High on the Hog, Part 2 | Aaron: What does a rebellious Harley rider like yourself do for a day job? / Biker: I'm a patent lawyer
/ Aaron: Wow, that's living on the edge. / Biker: It's the only job I could get that'd allow me to afford all of my officially licensed, Harley brand paraphernalia. / Aaron: Like that fancy leather... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=327 |
| It's All Online | [[Harold at a PC, talking to Aaron.]]
/ Harold: These days it can be hard to make up your mind on complicated issues. / Harold: I try to educate myself online, but sometimes it's impossible to figure out what's right. / Aaron: Well, the problem is that you can find a webpage to support any opinion. / Harold:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=328 |
| Gifts From Heaven | [[Harold and Ferdinand on a gray day, walking in the rain.]]
/ Harold: Wow, it's raining hard!
/ Ferdinand: You know, they say that when it's raining, God's peeing on us. / Harold: That's comforting. Then what's hail? / Ferdinand: Kidney stones.
/ < http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=329 |
| Intrinsic Traits | [[Harold and Aaron out for a walk.]]
/ Harold: Are there aspects of human nature that are essential to being a person? / Harold: For example, it is often noted that their closest relative chimpanzees also have violent tendencies. / Harold: This is used to argue that violence is an intrinsic trait. / Aaron:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=330 |
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