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Pork Rap [[ Alp and Ferdinand perform, with Ferdinand on the microphone. ]] / Alp: <> / Ferdinand: *PORK!* The magical meat, flavor knocks ya off your feet, so yo, take a seat, and listen to this beat! / Ferdinand: It comes in many kinds, like ribs or fried pork rinds, chicharrones...
She'll Grow Up to Be a Stripper [[ One lazy afternoon at the park. Aaron sits on the park bench and reads his favorite section of the newspaper. Beside him, is a gadget-savvy Dad preoccupied with his latest hand-held. His precocious daughter is equally busy drawing on the piece paper she brought with her. ]] / Daughter (shows her...
Caption Contest II [[ Harold and Alp falling from a great height. You can see the curvature of the earth in the distant horizon and outlines of continents and oceans far below. Accompanying our heroes in their rapid decent: A sprocket. A rubber chicken. An empty(?) coffee mug. A soda can. A baseball. A pocket watch....
Criminals at Large [[ Harold and Aaron out for a walk.]] / Harold: Stories of widespread sexual abuse by Catholic Priests continue to surface. / Harold: The Pope may have even been complicit in the coverup and shuffling of priests, but can Justice ever really be served? / Harold: He's the head of state, protected in his...
Units [[ Harold and Alp out for a walk.]] / Harold: While the rest of civilization has adopted the metric system, the U.S. stubbornly continues to use English units. / Harold: For claiming to be a technological leader, it's amazing how backward the U.S. can be. / Ferdinand: I think we should use even *more*...
 
Progressive Cities [[Aaron and Raymond standing on the bank of a river, looking at city buildings on the other side.]] / Raymond: Ah, it's nice to visit Portland! What a wonderful city! / Raymond: Places like here and Seattle, Minneapolis, and Austin tout controlled growth, environmental responsibility, and robust art...
Unforgivable Mistake [[Harold returns from shopping...]] / Hey, Ferd and Alp, I'm back from the supermarket! / Ferdinand, Alp: Did you get the Bacon?! / Harold: Of course! Here's Canadian Bacon. / [[Harold hands over a packet of round pink stuff]] / [[Harold appears to have been badly beaten and nearly knocked-out with pieces...
Better Sorry Than Safe [[ Ferdinand encounters a man in a deep puddle? The man is covered up to mid-calf. ]] / Man: Kind sir! I'm stuck in quicksand! Please help me! / Ferdinand: Are you _sure_ it's really quick sand? / [[ Man is now covered to the top of his thighs. ]] / Man: It's sand, but it might not be quicksand. I _am_...
Art [[ Harold and Aaron are soaking in a Hot Spring. ]] / Aaron: You can consume content all you want, but there's no better way to develop a point of view than to actually *produce* things. / Aaron: The act of creating art forces you to make choices and from that confront your opinions. / Aaron: It's an...
Bet You Know Someone Like This [[ Aaron and Harold at a coffee shop.]] / Aaron: I'll have a large coffee. / Harold: I'll have a tall, non-fat, soy, cafe, mocha, with one packet of Equal, in a grande cup, with extra whip. / [[Aaron and Harold just look at each other.]] / Aaron: You make me sick / [[Harold hides his face...]] / Harold:...
 
Regret [[ Aaron and Harold out for a walk ]] / Harold: It's said that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to really get good at something, but that's a lot of time! / Harold: If you average three hours per day, that's nine years before you're good! If you want to turn that skill into a career, then you better...
Legitimate Excuse [[ Harold and Ferdinand sitting at a table ]] / Harold: Want to walk with me to the store? / Ferdinand: I can't, my foot's asleep. / [[ Ferdinand holds up his leg. ]] / Harold: What happened? Did you sit on it wrong? / Ferdinand: It's just my foot's usual afternoon nap. / {{alt text: So can ANY part of...
Google [[ Harold and Ferdinand at a computer.]] / [[ 1998 ]] / Harold: I can't find anything on the Internet. It's a mess! / Ferdinand: Here, try this new search engine. / Harold: Wow, this is Great! Now I can find all sorts of useful websites. / Ferdinand: Best part is it's free, so there's absolutely no downside...
The Groundhog Volcano [[ Ferdinand is at a table, giving a performance. Everyone is gathered around. ]] / [[ Alp is watching up close, eagerly anticipating the spectacle and munching on a bag of peanuts... ]] / [[ Aaron is watching, a little further away, with an umbrella... ]] / [[ Harold and Raymond have turned their backs...
Determinism [[ Harold and Ferdinand take a walk.]] / Harold: Either the world is deterministic or it's not. / Harold: If it is, then everything that happens is already determined by a previous event. There can't be free will, thus we can't be responsible for our actions. / Harold: If the world is indeterministic,...
 
Exit Sign [[ Harold reading a paper, Aaron comes along... ]] / Aaron: Lookin' at singles ads? / Harold: Yeah, check it out: Single female, 31 years old, enjoys long walks, Pisces. / Harold: What do you think? / Aaron: It's a good thing she let you know she's a Pisces. / Harold: Why? So I'll have a better idea if...
Neoteny [[ Harold and Aaron take a walk.]] / Harold: Studies show that domestication causes dogs to be stuck in a juvenile state called *neoteny*. / Harold: They then exhibit childlike behavior, even in adulthood. / Harold: It makes dogs more agreeable to following orders without questioning authority, as well...
Rare Stuff Indeed Ferdinand: Even though carbon and oxygen are crucial for life on earth, heavy elements are only 2% of all atoms in the universe. / Ferdinand: But this is just the normal matter we're used to. In fact, Dark Matter is 85% of the material in the universe. / Ferdinand: And if you include both matter and...
Don't Anger Vegetarians [[ Ferdinand is talking with a large woman. ]] / Ferdinand: Want some bacon? / Lady: Sorry, I'm a vegetarian. / Ferdinand: Wow!... Well, I guess elephants are vegetarian too. / [[ Ferdinand lies on the ground, thoroughly pummeled. He groans: ]] / Ferdinand: ... She may be a vegetarian but she's no animal...
The Politicization of Science [[ Harold and Aaron take a walk. ]] / Harold: When Science becomes politicized, the two competing camps fight on very unequal terms. / Harold: Scientists must convey complex arguments coherently to convince people that they are correct. / Harold: For detractors of Science, just instilling doubt is a...
 
It's a Short Honeymoon [[Ferdinand and Harold sit by a brick wall with the sun setting in the background.]] / Ferdinand: It's so annoying! Every artist I've ever followed eventually sells out. / Harold: When does that happen? / Ferdinand: When they create their first new thing after I discover them. / {{alt text: Every artist...
Entanglement [[Alp and Aaron out for a walk.]] / Aaron: Alp, what's your opinion on the existence of God? / Alp: Well, as far as I'm concerned, there's never been a conclusive experimental test. / Alp: Until this occurs, there's no way to truly know whether God exists or not. / Alp: So I'd say God is in a quantum...
Brand Names [[ Aaron and Ferdinand, inside a store with "SALE" on its window.]] / Ferdinand: This looks like a good sale. I could use some new shirts. / Aaron: What? Your closet full of gray shirts isn't enough? / [[ Ferd holds up a gray shirt with a common swooshy-looking symbol on front. Nike logo ]] / Ferdinand:...
Return of the Reader Mailbag, Part 1 [[ Aaron and Ferdinand gather 'round the old mail bag.]] / Ferdinand: It's time one again to break out the reader mailbag. / Aaron: Because we *know* you were dying for more after the last round. / Ferdinand: The first question is from Jesse, in Ojai. He asks, "What's with all the comics about science...
Return of the Reader Mailbag, Part 2 Aaron: Today's question is from Brent in Chicago. He asks, "Why doesn't Alp have more inventions? Those are my favorite comic strips." / Aaron: Well, Alp actually comes up with tons of inventions, but most aren't appropriate for this comic. / Alp: Hey, want to check out my combination weed wacker,...
 
Return of the Reader Mailbag, Part 3 Aaron: The last reader letter is from Jay in Austin, who asks, "How do you decide what to write about for each comic?" / Aaron: Well Jay, we're excited to present our first ever behind-the-scenes look at how we choose the subjects of our strips. / [[ We see Harold strapped to a spinning wheel with...
Child Obesity [[ Harold and Ferdinand watching television]] / Harold: Child Obesity continues to be an epidemic in the U.S. / Harold: The sad part is that often it's not the kids' fault. They're victims of the American culture they're born into. / Harold: Somebody really needs to take action and help these kids...
Mathematical Munchies Ferdinand: It's crucial that flavored potato chips be as thin as possible. / Ferdinand: This maximizes their surface area, which maximizes their flavor. / Alp: Interesting... / [[ Later, at Alp's lab ]] / Alp: Introducing my spiffy new invention: Fractal Chips! / [[ The chip looks like a 3D version of...
Symbols and Context [[ Aaron and Harold take a walk.]] / Harold: The entire English language is built out of twenty-six characters, along with some punctuation. / Harold: It's amazing that we can basically describe all of our myriad of experiences with such a limited number of symbols. / Aaron: Actually, it only requires...
Which Would You Deport? [[2 panel comic showing two groups of people.]] / [[ 1st panel heading: When Mexicans are out of work...]] / [[ In the 1st panel, 4 people each holding a different sign.]] / [[ sign 1: Need job to support family ]] / [[ sign 2: Please HIRE ]] / [[ sign 3: Will work for food ]] / [[ sign 4: Hard worker ]] / [[...
 

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