You're browsing the archives of Calamities of Nature.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Objectively Subjective | [[ Harold and Aaron walking along... ]]
/ Harold: It feels so painfully true that certain artistic creations have more value than others, but isn't all Art supposed to be subjective? / Harold: Everyone chooses the Art they consume for how it uniquely speaks to them and enriches their lives, right? / [[... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=452 |
| Yo Mama Jokes: Astrophysics Edition | [[ Panel: Calamities of Nature Presents... *Yo Mama Jokes: Astrophysics Edition* ]] / Ferdinand: Yo Mama is so repulsive that's she's been identified as the Dark Energy that's pushing the Universe apart! / Ferdinand: Yo Mama has such bad acne that she gets mistaken for Jupiter's moon, Io! / Ferdinand:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=453 |
| The American Skeptic | [[ Aaron and Raymond take a walk... ]
/ Raymond: You criticize Americans for not being bigger skeptics, but they show plenty of skepticism. / Raymond: They're skeptical of Big Government and they're skeptical of Global Warming. / Raymond: They're skeptical of whether we went to the moon, whether the... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=454 |
| Stiff Competition | [[Harold and a hooker are standing on a street corner in front of a brick wall. The hooker has a bright blue shirt, short black skirt, fishnet stalkings, big black high heals, and gorgeous red hair.]]
/ Harold: Hi hooker lady. How's it's going?
/ Hooker: Not so good. / Hooker: Business has been horrible.... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=455 |
| Guest Comic by Alan Ryan | [[ Guest comic by Alan Ryan ]]
/ [[ Harold and Aaron, walking through the countryside, come to the edge of a river. ]]
/ Harold: Ya know, sometimes I envy the rocks and the trees...
/ Aaron: Huh? / Harold: They're untroubled by everything but the slow passage of time... Compared to them we're like leaves... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=456 |
| Lil' Calamities and Thanksgiving | [[A classroom. A teacher stands in front of a chalkboard.]]
/ Teacher: Okay class, for Thanksgiving we're going to reenact the meeting of the pilgrims and Native Americans. / Teacher: This lesson will demonstrate how different cultures can work together in harmony. / [[Lil' Harold and Lil' Ferdinand... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=457 |
| Amazing Universe | [[Aaron is giving a monologue to Ferdinand, outside]]
/ Aaron: There are real stars called neutron stars. A sugar cube of neutron star material has a mass equal to the entire human population. / Aaron: Merging neutron stars send out ripples of space and time that literally change the speed of clocks... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=458 |
| Carl Sagan Would Be Proud | [[Harold is talking to Ferdinand inside their house]]
/ Harold: All the elements heavier than hydrogen and helium were synthesized in the nuclear furnace of a star. / Harold: These were then expelled when the star exploded, making everything and everyone we see around us today. / Harold: Isn't that... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=459 |
| Guilty Pleasure | [[Harold and Ferdinand are walking though the forest. The trees have red leaves and the sun is setting in the background.]]
/ Harold: I can't stand the term "guilty pleasure" / Harold: Where did this modern notion come from that I should somehow feel bad or embarrassed about things I enjoy? / Harold:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=460 |
| Abuse Muse | Narrator: As every artist knows, pain and suffering can be crucial for inspiration. Here are some tips for Maximizing your artistic output! / Narrator: Get a crappy job...
/ [[Aaron and Ferdinand are shown standing a fast food restaurant.]]
/ Aaron: Why are you holding the french fries in scalding hot... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=461 |
| The Halting Problem | [[ Harold and Aaron take a walk ]]
/ Aaron: The Halting Problem is a proof that we can never know in general whether a giving computer program will eventually stop or run forever. / Aaron: If you believe that a brain is essentially a sophisticated computer, there are many interesting implications. / Aaron:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=462 |
| It's All in the Details | [[ Harold and Aaron looking at a computer screen. The screen shows a picture of a total eclipse. ]] / Aaron: This is a picture of the positions of stars around the sun during the 1919 solar eclipse. / Aaron: The fact that these miniscule dots were in one positions versus just a hair over tells us... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=463 |
| Thermodynamics | [[ Alp talks to the reader ]]
/ Alp: Ludwig Boltzmann, who was famous for being one of the founders of statistical thermodynamics, committed suicide in 1906. / Alp: Paul Ehrenfest was a major contributor to statistical thermodynamics and died similarly in 1933. / Alp: In addition, Percy Bridgeman, Gilbert... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=464 |
| Logicians | [[ Alp talks to the reader ]]
/ Alp: Georg Cantor was a logician who suffered from manic depression. He eventually died in a mental institution. / Alp: Emil Post was a bipolar logician who died of a heart attack following Electric Shock Therapy. / Alp: Kurt Godel was a paranoid schizophrenic logician,... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=465 |
| Lil' Calamities and Wholesome Influences | [[ Lil' Ferdinand indoors, perhaps in his bedroom, rocking out to music playing on his boom-box. ]]
/ Adult: [[ from off-panel, unseen ]] Turn that noise down! / Adult: Why are you always listening to that satanic garbage?! / Adult: Try something a little more wholesome-- Like Physics and Philosophy.
/ [[... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=466 |
| Lil' Calamities and the Physics Quiz | [[ Lil' Ferdinand in school. His teacher stands in front of a blackboard, preparing to hand out a test. ]]
/ Teacher: All right class, time for a Physics Quiz. / [[ Lil' Ferdinand sitting at his desk, reads a question from the test. ]]
/ Lil' Ferdinand: [[ reading ]] A pendulum of length L is suspended... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=467 |
| Virtual Reality | [[Alp and Ferdinand sit at the workbench in Alp's laboratory. Lots of technical looking gadgets sit around them, and Alp is holding a futuristic helmet thing.]]
/ Alp: I've done it! I've created the first ever virtual reality generator!
/ Ferdinand: Cool! / Alp: Once you have the helmet in place, your... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=468 |
| The Reality of Virtual Reality | [Alp and Ferdinand at Alp's work bench, tools and gadgets scattered about. Alp has a futuristic helmet with lights and buttons.]
/ Alp: Okay, you got me. My virtual reality machine can't simulate logical impossibilities, like a largest prime number, but it can simulate any _logical_ reality.
/ Ferdinand:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=469 |
| What Christmas Is All About | [[Linus and Charlie Brown conversing on a stage.]]
/ Charlie Brown: Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?! / Linus: Sure I can tell you what Christmas is all about. / [[Linus stands alone on stage in a spotlight, arms raised]]
/ Linus: December 25th is associated with the birth of... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=470 |
| Treats For Santa | Ferdinand: I can't wait to see what Santa leaves for us tomorrow!
/ Harold: Don't forget to put out cookies! / Ferdinand: Cookies? Why would Santa want boring cookies?
/ Harold: I don't know Ferd, it's just a tradition, okay? / [[Caption: The next morning... ]]
/ [[Harold has just opened a present from... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=471 |
| Dollar$ 4 Ca$h | [[ Ferdinand, outdoors in a road-side stand selling books. The front of the stand reads: "DOLLAR$ 4 CA$H". Ferdinand calls to a man walking by...]]
/ Ferdinand: Want to learn how to retire at age 25, just like me?! / Ferdinand: Buy my book for $47 or else! / Man: Or else what? / Ferdinand: Or else... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=472 |
| The Problem With Marriage | [[The scene is at an alter at a wedding. The caption reads: The problem with marriage.]] / Priest: I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. / Husband's thought: I'm going to get laid whenever I want! / Wife's thought: I'm never going to hafta put out again! / {{alt text: Sex expectations are always... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=473 |
| Focused | Alp: Do you think parabolic mirrors can focus smells?
/ Ferdinand: I don't know... / [[The point of view widens out. We see a pair of large parabolic mirrors aimed towards each other. Ferdinand stands in front of one, with Alp nearby. Harold is in front of the other mirror. ]]
/ Ferdinand: ... Why... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=474 |
| Trying to Get into Her Genes | [[Ferdinand is at a bar talking to a blond lady with a martini.]]
/ Ferdinand: Although life on Earth shows a lot of diversity, we're all united with the same common ancestors by the DNA we share. / Ferdinand: From a genetic point of view, we're practically brother and sister! / Ferdinand: So do you... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=475 |
| A Very Special Guest Artist | [[Today's comic features child's drawing of Harold and Alp, side by side and colored. The same art is used for all four panels with speech balloons added. ]]
/ Harold: One of the big stories last year was "Axe Cop", a webcomic drawn by a 29-year-old, and written by his 5-year-old brother. / Harold:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=476 |
| Progress | [[ Aaron and Harold walking in the woods. ]]
/ Harold: On one hand, modern science basically understands the history of the universe back to when its ages was 0.00000000000000000000000000000001 seconds / Harold: On the other hand, the majority of the world's population lives in poverty and doesn't have... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=477 |
| ESP Evidence | [[Aaron and Harold walking through the woods.]]
/ Harold: Did you hear that a major psychology journal will be publishing an article claiming evidence for extrasensory perception? / Aaron: Yeah, but I don't think the researchers used a sufficiently large sample of data in their analysis. / Harold: What... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=478 |
| Forecasting | [[ Aaron and Harold watching TV. ]] / TV: It's freezing weather up and down the east coast, and we're supposed to believe in Global Warming? / TV: A heat wave continues in the west, just more proof of Global Warming. / Harold: When will people realize there's a difference between weather and climate?
/ TV:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=479 |
| An Examined Life | [[ Distant view of Harold and Raymond standing at the edge of a tall cliff. Orange-ish clouds and pinkish sky in the far distance suggest sunrise or sunset, though the sun is not visible. ]]
/ Harold: Not a day goes by in which I don't wonder about the nature of reality and worry about my place in it. / [[... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=480 |
| There's Something in the Air | [[ Alp and Ferdinand. Alp is holding a brown bottle. ]]
/ Alp: Check out my newest invention, beef-scented cologne!
/ Ferdinand: Hmm... It's not bacon, but I'm listening. / Alp: Made with real USDA prime beef, spray it on and you'll smell just like a steak. The chicks will find you irresistible! / [[... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=481 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 >>