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Hot Dog!, Page 3 [[Aaron and Ferdinand in the kitchen.]] / Ferdinand: When you have *skillz* like me, they can't be wasted washing dishes! / Aaron: Okay since you got "skillz", let's make this interesting! / Aaron: I get that you won't win, and if I'm right you hafta wash all the dishes for the next year! / Ferdinand:...
Hot Dog!, Page 4 [[ Hot Dog eating contest. Outdoors, a large crowd faces a building with a stage and a row of contestants. Ferd in the middle, is the smallest contestant. Above the contestants, flags fly, a large Hot Dog and bun appears with the words "Calamity County Hot Dog Eating Championship" written on the roll....
Hot Dog!, Page 5 [[ Hot Dog eating contest. Contestant to Ferdinand's left is a large man wearing a blue "NYPD" shirt.]] / NYPD: *Full size!!* Wait a minute! Have you ever done one of these contests before? / Ferdinand: Um... Um... / Ferdinand: Of course! I've done these hundreds of times! I'm a professional! / NYPD:...
Hot Dog!, Page 6 [[ Hot Dog eating contest. Contestant to Ferdinand's left is a large man wearing a blue "NYPD" shirt.]] / NYPD: *Pork?!* Kosher hot dogs can't be made from pork! Are you *crazy*?! / Ferdinand: They can't?-- I mean, I knew that! I was just testing you! Good job. / [[Ferdinand looks at the pile...
Hot Dog!, Page 7 [[ Hot Dog eating contest underway. See the contestants... (except Ferdinand)]] / <> <> <> <> / <> <> <> <> / <<*burp*>> < / <> <> <> <> / <> <> / < <> <> <> / <>...
 
Hot Dog!, Page 8 [[ Hot Dog eating contest underway. See the contestants... (except Ferdinand)]] / <> <> <> / <> <> <> / <> <> <> / [[Where's Ferdinand- oh, here he is...]]] / Ferdinand: ((munch munch munch)) / [[ Ferdinand takes another bite....
Hot Dog!, Page 9 [[ Hot Dog eating contest underway, just past the halfway point. Ferdinand has just realized he's about 30 hot dogs behind]] / Ferdinand: I *can't* lose my bet with Aaron! / Ferdinand: How will I handle the loss of *dignity* if I'm forced to wash dishes for the next year?! / Ferdinand: Not to mention...
Hot Dog!, Page 10 [[ Hot Dog eating contest underway, the last few seconds!...]] / <> <> / [[ Hand grabbing another Hot Dog...]] / <> <> / Public Address announcer: And that's time! / Public Address announcer: Everyone put their hot dogs down and please wait while the judges tally their...
Hot Dog!, Page 11 [[ Hot Dog eating contest- Competition is over, and Ferdinand has won! 72 hot dogs in 12 minutes! We see the victor, hands raised...]] / Ferdinand: *I DID IT!* I am the Hot Dog eating champion! / Ferdinand: My lifelong dream to become *rich* and *famous* has come true! / Ferdinand: I gotta' get myself...
Hot Dog!, Page 12 [[ Hot Dog eating contest- Aftermath. Ferdinand and Aaron back in the kitchen. Ferdinand with scrapes and bruises, bandages, a black eye...]] / Ferdinand: Well, the Hot Dog eating contest didn't work out the way I was hoping. / Aaron: *No kidding!* Your beating was all over the news! / Ferdinand: I thought...
 
Hot Dog!, Page 13 [[ Hot Dog eating contest- Aftermath. Ferdinand and Aaron back in the kitchen. Ferdinand with scrapes and bruises, bandages, a black eye...]] / Aaron: By the way, I felt bad about you losing, so I bought you a present. I hope it cheers you up a little bit. / Ferdinand: *Really?!* Wow Aaron! That's...
Very Remote Control Alp: Ferdinand, check out my newest invention, *the TV Remote Control Locator!* / Alp: When you push this button, a map displays the location of the remote. / Alp: You'll *never* worry about losing it again! / Ferdinand: What if you can't find the remote locator? / Alp: I *figured* that might happen... / Alp:...
World Domination [[Aaron walks out the door, whistling.]] / [[Aaron turns around.]] / [[Aaron wears a surprised expression.]] / [[Every building is a Starbucks coffee. There is a plane leading a banner with "Starbucks" on it, and a Starbucks cup is on the ground.]] / Aaron: Well, I guess it was inevitable.
Wax Eloquent [[Ferdinand and Harold are standing out on a grassy area with the sun setting behind them.]] / Ferdinand: What's that? / Harold: My rubber band ball... / Harold: ...Everytime I get a rubber band, from the newspaper or wherever, I add it to this ball. / Ferdinand: That's a great idea! I shoulda thought...
Creationists, Part 1 Alp: I can't believe it! / Aaron: A Creationist is making a serious run for the Republican nomination. / Alp: So what? Huckabee's a Creationist, what's the big deal? / Aaron: Do you even know what a creationist is? It's someone who... / [[Aaron leans over and whispers in Alp's ear.]] / <><><> / [[Alp...
 
Creationists, Part 2 Alp: What happened? / Aaron: I explained what a Creationist is and you fainted! / Alp: How could a prospective president be such a royal doofus?! / Aaron: What gets me is when people say evolution is only a "theory." Semantics people! / Alp: If everyone just saw that exhibit at the Smithsonian, showing...
Groundhog's Day [[Alp and Harold are waiting at Ferdinand's door when Alp walks up.]] / Alp: Why are you waiting at Ferd's door? / Harold and Aaron (together): Today's Groundhog's Day! / Harold: If the groundhog sees his shadow when he emerges, that means six more weeks of winter. Otherwise it will be an early spring. / Alp:...
Holy Guacamole [[Alp and Ferdinand sit at a table with nachos and guacamole. Aaron stands in the background.]] / Alp: You know what? No matter what you're eating, it tastes better with guacamole! / Ferdinand: Amen brother! / Alp: Take a burger for example. Just add guacamole and it's like 10 billion times more scrumptious! / Ferdinand:...
Wacko Jacko [[Alp and Ferd walk through the wilderness. It's presumably winter, because they're wearing scarves.]] / Ferdinand: Is it okay to like Micheal Jackson again? / Alp: What do you mean? / Ferdinand: Yesterday at the record store I really wanted to buy "Thriller," but I was afraid the cashier would think...
Burning Ears [[Aaron listening to music on headphones. Unseen, Ferdinand's hand reaches for the control box...]] / Aaron: *AHHHH!* *MY EARS!!!* *MY EARS!!* / Ferdinand: Hee! Hee! / Aaron: MAKE THE PAIN STOP! HELP, HELP, MY EARS! / Alp and Ferd: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! / Aaron: MY EARS ARE BURNING! OH, THE...
 
Valentine's Day [[Harold is standing in front of the mailbox.]] / Harold: *sigh* Time to check for Valentines. I don't know why I *always* get so worked up when I always get *nothing*. / Harold: *No*, I need to be more *optimistic!* There's at least *one* person out there who sent me something to make me feel special. / Harold:...
Yaaahh! [[ Harold, with paints, easel, and canvas; on a hilltop with a fine view of more hills off to a distant horizon. Harold is painting the scene.]] / [[ Suddenly Ferd appears...]] / Ferd: YAAAAHH! / [[Ferd attacks the painting, puts a hole through the canvas]] / <> / [[ Ferd cracks the frame over...
Fashion Accessory Aaron: Oh my God! What's *that* on your *neck?!* / Ferdinand: You noticed! It's my *new bow tie*. I think it gives me a certain *distinguished presence. / [[ Ferd is wearing a large, pink with white polka-dots bow tie. ]] / Aaron: Hmmm... Let's see... George Will... Louis Farrakhan... Pee Wee Herman......
Skiing [[Outside scene of ski slopes and a snowy mountain.]] / [[Cut to Harold buying a ticket at the ski lodge.]] / Harold: One ski pass please. / Employee: Sorry, I can't sell you one. / Harold: Why not? / Employee: You're not white. / Harold: What?! A racist conspiracy! I knew there was a reason only white...
Getting a Little Too Friendly [[ Aaron and Ferdinand at the kitchen table, reading newspapers. ]] / [[ Aaron looks up at Ferdinand. Ferdinand continues reading.]] / Aaron: Are you playing *footsie* with me? / Ferdinand: Oh sorry, I thought that was the table. / [[ Ferdinand goes back to reading his paper, while Aaron continues...
 
Watch Your Language [[Harold and Aaron out for a hike]] / Harold: I was wondering, since *thinking* is basically *talking* to oneself, how does somebody think *without language*? / Harold: Like how does a *dog* make a decision? Is a dog's *thought process* just a series of emotions? / Aaron: Maybe a dog *barks* to itself. / Harold:...
Nursery Rhymes Ferdinand: The nursery rhyme "Rock-s-bye-baby" is about a baby falling from a tree! / Ferdinand: In "Three Blind Mice" The mice's tails are sadistically cleaved with a carving knife! / Ferdinand: And "Ring Around The Rosie is about the bubonic plague for Christ's sake! / Ferdinand: Tell me, how is...
Stirring Up Trouble [[Harold and Alp in Alp's lab]] / Alp: I have a spiffy new invention, a *tonic* that instantly makes you *attractive* to the opposite sex. / Harold: Wow, *Spiffy!* Can I try it? / Alp: Sure, let me *stir* it up, and then you can *try* drinking it. / [[ Alp using a metal spoon, stirs a beaker of a bubbling,...
Stupid Stickers [[ Aaron and Harold see an "Explorer" SUV with a window sticker showing Bill Watterson's character Calvin (from his "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip) kneeling in prayer in the shadow of a cross.]] / Aaron: This *clearly* devout Christian has forgotten about the *lesser* known 11th commandment. / Harold:...
More Stupid Stickers [[ Aaron and Harold see a Chevy "Tahoe" SUV with a window sticker showing Bill Watterson's character Calvin (from his "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip) pissing on a "FORD" logo.]] / Aaron: God, I *hate* those stupid stickers. / Harold: The *irony* is that it's completely counter to the spirit of the comic...
 

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