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Almost Famous Ferdinand: Harold, how do I know if I'm famous? / Harold: If people know your name. / Ferdinand: Well, people know Ferdinand the Great. / Harold: Most know Alexander the Great better. / Ferdinand: But what if they knew Ferdinand the Great better? / Harold: Would they be referring to you when they use...
Breaking Boundaries [[For seven panels, Ferdinand does flashy skateboarding tricks, spilling out past the boundaries of the panels.]] / Ferdinand: Sometimes in life you shouldn't be confined by boundaries. / Aaron: Ignoring the panel boarders again I see.
Looking Over a Ledge [[Harold and Alp are up on the roof.]] / Harold: Do you ever think of jumping? / Alp: Sure I do. I think everyone does at one time or another. / [[The camera pans back to show that they are pretty high up and a cityscape is behind them.]] / Alp: It's probably natural as long as you don't act on those...
Juggling Harold: What are you readin'? / Ferdinand: I've always wanted to learn how to juggle. So today I got this book to teach myself. / Harold: That sounds like it could be a fun hobby. / Ferdinand: Hey, I have an idea. Do you wanna' juggle too? / Ferdinand: It would be spiffy to learn together. / Harold:...
Beautiful or Horrifying [[Harold and Aaron are driving down the road]] / Aaron: Watch where you're goin' you #*@!! AARGH! Another person cut me off! / Aaron: everywhere I go I'm surrounded by idiots! It's like they're breeding or something! / Harold: Well of course they are. Experiencing love doesn't depend on intelligence. / Aaron:...
 
Monkey Business [[Harold and Alp are standing on a street corner. Harold is pointing at something.]] / Harold: Did you see that little girl with a backpack in the shape of a gibbon? / Alp: Jeez, isn't she a little young to have a monkey on her back? / {{fun fact: gibbons are actually apes and not monkeys, but gibbons...
Wal-Mart, Part 1 [[Aaron and Ferdinand are standing in front of Wal-mart}} / Aaron: Here we are at Wal-Mart. There's no better place to get a finger on the pulse of America. / Aaron: Before we begin shopping, let's hydrate ourselves. / Ferdinand: How 'bout some juice? / Aaron: Sounds healthy. What flavors do they have? / Ferdinand:...
Wal-Mart, Part 2 [[Ferdinand and Aaron visit the local big box store]] / Aaron: My friend and I are visiting *Wal-Mart* to learn what makes America tick. Could you tell us *why* you choose to work here? / Wal-Mart employee: *Choose?!* *Yeah right!!* / Wal-Mart employee: Wal-Mart ran all of our local stores out of business...
Wal-Mart, Part 3 Ferdinand: Here we are in Wal-Marts *hunting department*. Let's interview some customers. / Alp: *Nothing's* more beautiful than Americans exercising their 2nd amendment rights. / [[Ferdinand and Aaron approach a man wearing a Dale Earnhardt hat and holding a shot gun.]] / Alp: Good sir, I see you're...
Wal-Mart, Part 4 [[Aaron and Ferdinand are sitting in from of the desk of the CEO of Wal-mart]] / Aaron: What a *special day!* We've actually been granted an interview with the *CEO* of *Wal-Mart!* / Ferdinand: This is pretty far-fetched, *even* for a comic! / Aaron: Sir, your company *claims* to help communities, but...
 
New Jacket [[ Aaron and Ferdinand, Ferdinand wearing what looks like a heavy winter jacket.]] / Ferdinand: Like my *new jacket?* Do I look like a dope gangsta' or what? / Aaron: It's 95 degrees out! How can you *wear* all that? / [[ Ferdinand opens the jacket to reveal...]] / Ferdinand: Refrigeration unit.
What Did You Call Me? [[Ferdinand and Harold are walking through the forest.]] / Ferdinand: I thought the doctor was really good because he had patience for his patients. / Harold: HA!! Homophones! / Ferdinand: *WHAT?!?* How *dare* you accuse *me* of being a *homophobe*. I've *never* been so *insulted* in my life! / Harold:...
Dust in the Wind [[Aaron and Harold are standing at a field at sunset.]] / Aaron: Humans are selfish, shortsighted, wasteful, rude, stubborn, and destructive. / Aaron: I can't *stand* them. / Harold: C'mon, there's some *good things* about people. / Aaron: Oh yeah?! Name *one!!* / [[ silent thought... ]] / Aaron: See!...
Coping Harold: How are people able to separate all the pain and tragedy in the world from their day to day lives? / Aaron: They compartmentalize their thoughts so that they can ignore it. / Harold: What's the difference between that and insanity? / Aaron: If everyone does it, nobody thinks it's crazy.
If the Price is Right [[Ferdinand and Harold are sitting against a tree on a hill in the countryside]] / Ferdinand: I want MONEY and I don't want to WORK. / Harold: Welcome to the club. What's your plan? / Ferdinand: I'll sell my body. / Harold: What?! You're going to PROSTITUTE yourself?! / Ferdinand: No... / Ferdinand:......
 
Funny Money [[ Harold in a deli.]] / Harold: ...So here's five bucks for the sandwich. / Clerk: Sorry, we don't accept *American* currency here. / Harold: *What?!* How can you do that? We're *in* America! / Clerk: I *know*, but given the current economic climate it's just *too* risky! / Harold: Then *what* do you...
Liar? [[Ferdinand and Alp are sitting at the dining room table.]] / Ferdinand: Do you always answer questions truthfully? / Alp: Yes. / Ferdinand: I knew you'd say that.
Rebate [[ Aaron, Ferd, and Harold at the mail box.]] / Aaron: *Alright! We each got our $600 tax rebate checks! / Ferd: *Awesome! Free money! Gimme! / Ferd: Wait a minute! Harold, what's the matter? / Harold: I'm feeling stressed out... / Harold: ... We've been given this money with the *responsibility* of...
The Pill, Part 1 [[House on a hill top, surrounded by barbed wire, a 3-eyed bird in the bird bath. Signs: "Top Secret!", "Stay Out", and over the door: "Alp's Lab". ]] / Alp: Ferd, I *know* I've said it before... ... but this really may be my *spiffiest* invention ever! / Ferdinand: Really? What is it? / Alp: I'm...
The Pill, Part 2 [[Alp and Aaron are in Alp's lab, talking. The lab table has a rubber chicken, a gear, and some beakers on it.]] / Alp: Aaron, Ferd wasn't impressed, but I think you'll be able to appreciate my new, spiffy invention. / Aaron: Oh yeah? What is it? / Alp: This pill will cure most of the world's worst...
 
Volume 1 Cover Preview Reads CALAMITIES OF NATURE by Tony Piro, with Aaron, Alp, Harold, and Ferd reading a book with the aforementioned picture on it's cover.
Going the Distance Alp: In astronomy, distances are so vast that they're measures in *light years.* / Ferdinand: How far is that? / Alp: 5.9 trillion miles. / Ferdinand: Wow, then how far is a *heavy* year?
Dating, Part 1 Aaron: So Harold, how was your date last night? / Harold: Uh, not so good... / Aaron: *Really?!* Remember I told you that chicks want a man who exudes confidence! / Aaron: Did you follow my advice? / Harold: Well... / [[ Scene shifts to Harold in a bar, talking to a chick.]] / Harold: ...it's really...
Dating, Part 2 [[Ferdinand and Aaron are out walking in the forest.]] / Ferdinand: Is Harold out on a date again? / Aaron: Yeah, hopefully this one goes better than the last. / Ferdinand: If he would just realize that the chicks dig him for who he is, he'd be so much happier! / Aaron: I know! ... / Aaron: ... That's...
Dating, Part 3 [[ Ferdinand and Aaron taking a walk...]] / Ferdinand: Harold sure has been dating *a lot!* / Aaron: I think he's getting to that age where he wants to settle down. / Ferdinand: Yeah, he's probably wondering if he'll *ever* find his one true love. / Aaron: Well *hopefully* he remembers to not take it *too...
 
Dating, Part 4 [[Harold is at home, sitting on the cushy chair in front of the television. Aaron walks up from behind the chair.]] / Aaron: Why are you home? I thought you had a date? / Harold: I've given up! Maybe I'm just not meant to find my one true love. / Harold: I've decided to follow what any self-respecting...
Caffeine [[Aaron and Ferdinand are standing on a green lawn with a blue sky behind them.]] / Aaron: My God Ferd! I know you're addicted to caffeine, but don't you think you're taking it too far? / [[The camera pans back to show that Ferdinand's arm is connect to an IV. The bag says "coffee."]] / Ferdinand: What...
All You Can Eat [[The scene is outside of a restaurant. The signs read: all you can eat and then some more; super duper buffet; food. Some cars are parked in the back.]] / Ferdinand: Yes! My favorite! / [[The comic cuts to inside, where Ferdinand and Harold are loading up their plates at the buffet. Ferdinand's plate...
Guest Comic by Box Brown [[Aaron is listening to his headphones.]] / Headphones: power to the "me"ple! / Headphones: I'm not a conservative / Headphones: I'm a preservative! / [[Aaron throws headphones at the wall.]] / Headphones: call PATRIOT FM! / Harold: Conservative radio? / Aaron: Yep. / Harold: How much those custom...
Market Research [[Ferdinand and Aaron are talking inside their house.]] / Ferdinand: ... I can't wait for the game tonight! / Aaron: Me neither! Who do you think will win? / Ferdinand: Well, if past games are any indica-- hey Alp, what the heck are you doin' here? / [[Suddenly Alp has appeared behind Ferdinand and Aaron,...
 

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