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| Born Again | [[Aaron and Harold are laying in the grass, looking up at red leaved trees.]]
/ Aaron: I've had a change of heart. I now believe in God. / Harold: So you've accepted His love and realized we're all here to serve His higher purpose? / Aaron: I needed someone to blame for everything that's wrong with... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=121 |
| Edumacation | Harold: Thomas Jefferson said that the *key* to democracy is having an *educated public* that can make informed decisions. / TV interviewer: Governor, what steps would *you* take to alleviate the current sub-prime mortgage crisis?
/ Gov. Palin: We'll fix it for *Joe six pack* and *hockey moms!* We're... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=122 |
| Red Lenses | Ferdinand: You're a pretty good artist. Do you think you could draw *anything*?
/ Harold: More of less I guess. / Ferdinand: Okay, then draw *red* / [[ silence ]] / Harold: *I'm holding a #2 pencil!*
/ Ferdinand: Excuses, excuses. http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=123 |
| The Media | Aaron: The media is in the *unique* position to ask presidential candidates questions to better inform voters. Instead reporters just *pander* to them. / Aaron: There are so many competing news outlets that they're afraid a candidate will choose a competitor.
/ Harold: C'mon, it's not *that* bad. / TV... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=124 |
| Working for a Living, Part 1 | [[Alp and Harold are standing in Alp's lab.]]
/ Harold: The *classifieds?!
/ Alp: My invention supplies are *low*, so I need some *cash*. / Alp: Working for a living is going to *suck*!
/ Harold: What about the *American Dream* of building success through one's own hard work? / Aaron: Maybe you didn't... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=125 |
| Working for a Living, Part 2 | [[Harold and Alp are walking through the forest.]]
/ Harold: How's your job hunt going?
/ Alp: Terrible! / Alp: I got a job as a band teller, but they fired me the *first day.* / Harold: Really? How hard can it be to process deposits and withdrawals?
/ Alp: I fell victim to what's probably a *common*... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=126 |
| Working for a Living, Part 3 | [[Alp is sitting at the dining room table reading the paper when Harold walks up.]]
/ Harold: Alp, you still don't have work?
/ Alp: well, I got a job at the Gap, but they let me go. / Harold: What happened?
/ Alp: Apparently they don't like their employees to be honest to their customers. / [[Alp is... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=127 |
| Working for a Living, Part 4 | Alp: My interview for the engineering position didn't work out. / Harold: Really? Given your background with inventions I figured you'd be *perfectly* suited.
/ Alp: Yeah, but they required an *advanced degree* for consideration. / Alp: I tried to fool them, but *somehow* they caught on. / {{ alt text:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=128 |
| Working for a Living, Part 5 | [[Harold and Alp are looking at a computer]]
/ Harold: Looking for jobs on the internet?
/ Alp: Nope! My money troubles are over! I'm ready to start inventing again! / Harold: What?! Just last week you were broke and desperate for work! / Alp: But that was before I got this email from a Nigerian prince.... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=129 |
| That Ain't No Honey | [[Ferdinand sees a beehive]]
/ Ferdinand: Yum... honey! / [[Ferdinand throws a rock at it.]] / [[Ferdinand is chased by bees. Next panel shows Ferdinand watching TV with Aaron, with a puffy face]] / Ferdinand: Guess what? If you throw rocks at a beehive, you're goin' to get stung!
/ Aaron: Some people... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=130 |
| Designer Shirt | Ferdinand: How do like my new $300 designer shirt? / Aaron: Do you realize you could have fed an entire African village with that? / Ferdinand: The villagers eat fabric? http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=131 |
| Don't Get Too Comfy | [[Aaron and Harold are walking along a perilous looking bridge.]]
/ Harold: It's such a strange and foreign sensation ... / Harold: ... the election is getting near and I'm not even dreading it ... / Harold: ... I actually feel a glimmer of hope and optimism ... / [[Aaron holds Harold back from walking... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=132 |
| Conflicting Principles | [[Harold and Ferdinand reading newspapers at the table]]
/ Harold: Even with a deficit and a dangerously widening poverty gap, conservatives want tax cuts for the wealthy.
/ Ferdinand: You bet! The government can't tell us what to do with our money! / Harold: And with a crisis of sick and uninsured patients,... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=133 |
| Tomorrow's Election Day | [[Harold and Ferdinand walk through the woods. There are weird rock formations with red-leaved trees.]]
/ Harold: Tomorrow's election day! There's a lot of important stuff to vote on this year. / Harold: Have you been informed on all the key issues? / Ferdinand: Yes, I read plenty of bumper stickers. / [[Harold... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=134 |
| Where's the Change? | [[Ferdinand and Harold watch the news]]
/ Ferdinand: Okay, where's all this change I've been hearing so much about?
/ TV: It's an honor to be elected president. / Harold: Obama still needs to be sworn in on Jan 20th! / Ferdinand: I knew those campaign promises were too good to be true! http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=135 |
| Old People | [[Alp and Ferdinand are walking trough the archtypical countryside at sunset]]
/ Ferdinand: Alp, have you ever noticed that it seems like old people grow SMALLER?
/ Alp: Yup, They're like SHRINKY DINKS! / Alp: It's a REAL EFFECT Ferd. Loss of bone density with age plus the constant strain of gravity causes... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=136 |
| Headphones | Harold: Aaron, why do you always wear headphones? Aaron? / Harold: Can you hear me Aaron? Aaron?! / [[Harold leaves]]
/ Harold: Never mind. / Aaron: Exactly. http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=137 |
| Bumper Sticker | [[Aaron stands watching Ferdinand put a sticker on his car that reads Obama '08]]
/ Aaron: What are you doin'?
/ Ferdinand: Putting a bumper sticker on my car. / Aaron: What?! The election ended over a week ago! / Ferdinand: I like to be on the winning side. http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=138 |
| Agnostic | [[Harold and Aaron are sitting at the foot of a tree on a mild autumn day. Harold is sitting up with his hands on his knees, and Aaron is relaxing with his arms behind his head.]]
/ Harold: Some people fanatically believe in God and all that implies... / Harold: ...atheists fervently contend that God... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=139 |
| Names | Aaron: I'm terrible at remembering names. What can I do to improve? / Harold: Look into that person's eyes and take who they are to heart. By realizing what makes them special you will have a unique reminder to associate with their name. / Aaron: Never mind then. http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=140 |
| Cooperation | [[Ferdinand and Alp sit fishing on an island]]
/ Ferdinand: Have you ever seen those little birds that pick the crocodile's teeth?
/ Alp: Yup, the Egyptian Clover. Their chirps also alert the crocodiles of impending danger. / Ferdinand: A beautiful example of a symbiotic relationship.
/ Alp: You bet. It's... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=141 |
| Fight | [[Harold and Aaron sit on a bench hanging from a tree. Harold reads a newspaper.]]
/ Aaron: Every day, all we do is fight. Fight traffic, fight the crowds, fight our neighbors, and fight our families. / Harold: And after all that pointless fighting, we all die.
/ Aaron: Hey, don't try to cheer me up. http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=142 |
| Boundaries Broken | [[Harold and Aaron walk in the forest at nighttime]]
/ Harold: Have you ever heard of the phrase "breaking the fourth wall" when discussing comic strips? / [[They both walk across a bridge]]
/ Aaron: Sure, that's when the comic characters are actually aware that they exist within the confines of a comic. / Harold:... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=143 |
| Utopia Tree | [[Harold and Aaron are sitting at the base of a tree.]]
/ Harold: Can you imagine a world without religion? / [[The camera pans back to show that the tree leaves are bright red on this autumn day, and the sun is setting in the background.]]
/ Aaron: Or as I like to call it... heaven on earth. http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=144 |
| Light as a Feather | [[Harold and Alp are standing on top of a tall building. The sun is setting in the background.]]
/ Harold: Wow, what a long way down.
/ Alp: People look like ants from up here. / Harold: Imagine jumping from here. Free-fall must be an amazing sensation. / Harold: You're light as a feather, with the weight... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=145 |
| It Came from the Drain, Part 1 | [[Harold and Alp in the kitchen, Alp pouring something down the drain.]]
/ Harold: Alp, *What* are you doing?
/ Alp: Disposing of old bacon grease.
/ Harold: *Jeez*, how much bacon do you *eat?* / Alp: You know, *the usual*. Bacon omelets, BLTs, bacon cheese dip, bacon on salad, on my potato, chocolate... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=146 |
| It Came from the Drain, Part 2 | [[Harold and Alp in the kitchen, Alp pouring something down the drain.]]
/ Harold: Alp, you *can't* just dump *toxic waste* from your experiments down the *drain!* / Alp: *Great!* Just *another* example of liberals trying to stifle the innovative *American* spirit! I'm trying to invent things that... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=147 |
| It Came from the Drain, Part 3 | [[Harold and Alp watching TV.]]
/ Alp: Watching TV is *great!* It's like reading *without* literacy. / [[A greenish something appears over Alp's shoulder.]]
/ Alp: Hey Harold, I know we're *friends*, but it's a little *creepy* when you slobber your *tongue* on my face. / Harold: Alp, I would *never*... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=148 |
| It Came from the Drain, Part 4 | [[A gelatinous mound of sludge and garbage rears it's "head"...]]
/ blob: BRARRR!!
/ Alp: This is definitely *not* spiffy!
/ Harold: *See Alp!* I told you not to dump all your *garbage* down the *sink!*... / Harold: ... Now the *toxic chemicals* from your experiments and the *old food* have reacted together... http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=149 |
| It Came from the Drain, Part 5 | [[The blob has Alp in its clutches!]]
/ blob: ROARRRRR!!
/ Alp: Harold!
/ Harold: Alp! / Harold: *Stop! That thing's taking Alp! Help! Anyone help!* / Harold: Wow, I can't believe that Alp's gone. / Harold: After all these years of wishing he was out of my hair, that was surprisingly unsatisfying. http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=150 |
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