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Darwin's Other Theory [[Aaron and Alp are sitting on a park bench. Alp appears to be eating something.]] / Aaron: The rat is a despised vermin with a multi-million dollar industry dedicated to its extermination. / Aaron: The squirrel is a lovable critter that old ladies enjoy feeding in the park. / [[The camera pans back...
Breakfast Is Served Harold: Springtime at the farm is great! Did you see the little piglets? / Raymond: Yeah, they sure were cute! / Harold: It really makes you appreciate the magic of life. / Raymond: Ferd and Alp are doing some appreciating too... / [[ Ferd and Alp, hanging over the pigpen.]] / Ferd and Alp: Mmm... Bacon!... / {{alt...
Swine Flu Ferdinand: We'd like to apologize for our previous comic. / Harold: With the current swine flu crisis we shouldn't be glorifying bacon consumption. / Ferdinand: Well, at least we can still eat ham! / Harold: Ferd, ham comes from pigs. / Ferdinand: Really? ... Okay, but I can have baby back rigs, right? / Harold:...
Poetry in Motion [[Alp and Raymond sit beside a tree. It is twilight.]] / Raymond: Alp, what are exploding stars called? / Alp: Supernovae. / Raymond: What are zero resistance conductors called? / Alp: Superconductors. / Raymond: What's the greatest symmetry in particle physics? / Alp: Supersymmetry. / Raymond: Scientists...
Mensa Shmensa, Part 1 [[Aaron and a woman from MENSA are standing across from one another. They are apparently out in a forest. The woman has glasses that are reminiscent of a character from the Simpsons.]] / Aaron: So you belong to MENSA, huh? / MENSA Woman: Yes, it's an elite club that requires its members to have IQs within...
 
Mensa Shmensa, Part 2 [[Aaron and a guy from MENSA are standing across from each other. The guy has a tweed jacket and a bad comb over.]] / Aaron: Hey MENSA Guy! Have any of your members ever won the Nobel prize? / MENSA Guy: No. / Aaron: Have any important scientific contributions ever been made by a MENSA member? / MENSA...
Mensa Shmensa, Part 3 [[Aaron and the guy from MENSA are standing across from one another.]] / Aaron: Don't be sad MENSA Guy, you're not completely useless. / MENSA Guy: I'm not? / Aaron: A physicist told me this slip of paper holds the key to all of the secrets of the universe. If only someone could decode it! / [[Aaron...
A Better Way to Travel [[Ferdinand and Alp sit in a car, Ferdinand is driving.]] / Ferdinand: We aren't moving at all. You need to think of an invention for traffic jams. / Alp: I do have one idea. Make the streets into giant conveyor belts. Even if traffic is stopped, you still keep moving. / Ferdinand: Brilliant! I...
Bad Investments [[Harold and Aaron are walking through the forest. The sun is setting behind them.]] / Harold: Remember in the mid-90s, when everyone thought they could get rich with comic books? / Aaron: You, the bottom sure fell out of that market! / Harold: That's what happens when speculators invest in comics as...
Mensa Shmensa, Addendum Aaron: Time to answer some reader mail. This one is from Barbara concerning our recent comics on MENSA. / Harold: Why would you attack this particular group? I have to assume you tried to join and the rejection letter hit you hard! / [[Harold and Aaron stare at each other.]] / Aaron: Barbara, thank...
 
Just Scratching the Surface [[Aaron and Alp are walking through the forest. The sun is rising in the background.]] / Alp: Scratch'n'sniff is one of the most overlooked technologies. The possibilities are endless! / Alp: Restaurant menus could use it to help customers choose their order. / Alp: It's perfect for blind people. ...
A Matter of Degree Aaron: I think that will just about do it, Josh-- / Josh: Josh?! That's Doctor Anderson to you! / Aaron: Dr. Anderson? Your name tag says Josh. / Josh: I know what my name tag says, but I have a Ph.D. and I deserve some respect! / Aaron: Who cares if you have Ph.D.? I'm not calling you doctor. / Josh:...
Environmentally Unconscious [[Ferdinand stands in a forest spraying a can of product into the air. Aaron walks in.]] / Aaron: What are you doing spraying ozone depleting chemicals into the air?! / Ferdinand: I want a suntan. / Aaron: But you're covered in fur. / Ferd: Well, the first step is the acid rain...
Guest Comic by Michael Firman {{Guest-drawn comic, by Michael Firman who does the hilarious webcomic Moe.}} / Ferdinand: Check this out, I'm going to make Aaron look like a fool! / Ferdinand: Aaron! / Aaron: Yo. / Ferdinand: Did you know the word "gullible" is not included in dictionaries? / Aaron: No, it is. / Aaron: In fact you're...
The Elusive Question Harold: I've spent all my life trying to please everyone, but no one's ever happy. / Aaron: Then why don't you do what makes you happy? / [[Harold ponders, as Aaron walks away.]] / Harold: But what makes me happy?!
 
Messiah and Dictator [[Aaron and Harold are sitting at the dining room table with newspapers in front of them.]] / Aaron: Why would so many blacks fervently follow the rules decreed by a Jewish man? / Harold: Are you referring to the preponderance of Christian African Americans? / Aaron: No, the NBA.
I Tweet, Therefore I Am Aaron: Get a load of that nutjob over there preaching Bible verses. / Aaron: Does he really think anyone's listening? Does he realize no one cares? / Ferdinand: Seriously, huh? / [[Ferdinand pulls out his iPhone and starts typing something.]] / Ferdinand: I gotta twitter about this! / {{other keywords:...
Watch Out for a Bloody Nose [[Ferdinand and Raymond, a pile of white-ish powder between them, Raymond holds a straw]] / Ferdinand: Hey, do you mind if I have some? / Raymond: Be my guest / Ferdinand: <> / [[Ferd snorts most of the pile. Raymond looks shocked!]] / Ferdinand: *Sniff* Man, that's some harsh stuff! / Raymond:...
Getting Into Not So Hot Water [[Alp reads a book titled: Blackbody colors and temperatures]] / [[Alp stops reading, appearing to think about something.]] / [[A running shower, the curtain obscures us from seeing who is inside.]] / Showering entity: Ahhh! / [[The curtain is pulled back, revealing Aaron in the shower. He points...
Impossible Dreams [[Harold and Ferdinand are walking along a stream.]] / Harold: Ferd, if you could have anything in the world, what would you choose? / Ferdinand: Let's see, a Lamborghini, a pyramid, ten million dollars in gold bars, and a harem of supermodels. How about you? / Harold: I'd want inner peace, a sense...
 
Being Frank [[Alp works on a gadgety box with lights, switches and mysterious protrusions.] / Aaron: What are you wasting your time on now? / Alp: This! It's my newest, spiffiest invention. / Alp: I call it the honesty machine. It forces people to always tell the truth. Wanna try? / Aaron: That's the dumbest...
Be Prepared [[Ferdinand and Harold are out in the forest. Ferdinand is standing on one leg.]] / Harold: Why are you balancing like that? / Ferdinand: You never know when you might lose a leg. Gotta practice! / Harold: That's horrible! Not only is it totally impractical, it's insulting to anyone who's actually lost...
Lil' Calamities {{The strip is titled "Lil' Calamities," owing to the usual characters being present, but in a flashback to when they were kids.}} / Aaron: From time to time we'll take a look back at when we were young. / Harold: We call this new feature: Lil' Calamities. / [[The kids are in school.]] / Teacher: Good...
Lil' Calamities and Bullies {{As part of the "Lil' Calamites" sub-series, the characters are presented when they were kids.}} / Lil' Alp: What's the matter Harold? / Lil' Harold: Those bullies stole my lunch. / Lil' Harold: I don't understand how people could be so cruel! Can't they see that we all have to share this school together?...
Lil' Calamities and History [[A classroom. A teacher stands in front of a chalkboard.]] / Teacher: Children, put your books away. Time for a quiz. / Quiz: Why was Christopher Columbus important? / Lil' Aaron: Columbus brought whites to America, initiating the brutal oppression of the Western Hemisphere that persists to this day....
 
Not-So-Hypothetical Question [[Ferdinand and Harold are walking through the forest at dusk.]] / Ferdinand: If someone has a tattoo across their breasts and a low cut shirt, is it rude to look? / Harold: Maybe, but you can't really blame someone, right? / Ferdinand: Jeez! I guess I won't be gettin' my breasts tattooed! I don't...
Redwoods [[ Aaron and Raymond walking through the woods. All that can be seen of the trees are just tall trunks.]] / Aaron: It sure is amazing to walk through the Redwoods. / Raymond: I Agree. / Raymond: The Redwoods stand so majestically. They remind us how amazing the life force is. / Raymond: It is this...
Redwoods from a Different Perspective [[Harold and Raymond walking in the woods. All that can be seen of the trees are their trunks.]] / Harold: I always feel a great sense of serenity when walking through the Redwoods. / Raymond: Me too. / Raymond: The Redwoods are so still. They have an amazing calming presence. They are the spiritual...
None of the News That's Fit to Print [[Aaron is standing across from a stereotypical newspaper reporter.]] / Aaron: What's the matter newspaper guy? Why so down? / Newspaper Guy: I'm so depressed! Newspaper circulation continues to plummet! Everywhere newspapers are collapsing! / Newspaper Guy: Once all the papers are gone, how will...
Don't Be a Twitt [[Aaron and Harold are walking through the forest.]] / Aaron: With the Iran protests Twitter has really come into its own. / Aaron: It's been key for organizing the resistance, as well as providing breaking news to leading media outlets. / Harold: But is it possible that Twitter is too powerful? Is...
 

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