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And That's Just Part of the Collection Harold: Did you watch the Michael Jackson funeral? I heard it was rather touching. / Aaron: #%@* that! / Aaron: Do I really need to spy in on some personal, somber event like a peeping tom? Let people grieve! Why can't the media stop prying into people's lives for once?! / [[Ferdinand enters carrying...
21st Century Cavemen, Part 1 [[ Exterior view of Aaron and Harold in a car, Harold driving.]] / <> / Harold: Do you think humans are still evolving? / Aaron: Well, a lot of the pressures for survival have been removed, so selection effects aren't as strong. / [[ Interior view of car]] / Aaron: Plus, modern humans only...
21st Century Cavemen, Part 2 [[Harold and Arron, sitting on a dock at a lake.]] / Harold: It's amazing to think that people really haven't evolved much in the last 200,000 years. / Harold: Doesn't that mean evolution has basically optimized humans for foraging for food, reproducing and avoiding being eaten by lions? / Aaron: Yup,...
21st Century Cavemen, Part 3 [[Harold and Aaron walking in the woods. The sun is setting in the background.]] / Harold: If the human mind hasn't evolved in 200,000 years, will problems arise in society that can't be solved because of inherent intellectual limitations / Harold: Furthermore, are there fundamental truths about the...
Short But Not Sweet [[Ferdinand and Harold are walking through the forest.]] / Harold: It's a soundbite society. Nobody wants details. / Harold: How will people make educated decisions if they don't take the time to learn the full inform-- / [[Ferdinand has his hand raised at Harold.]] / Ferdinand: STOP! Only 140 characters...
 
Half Baked [[Ferdinand is mixing a bowl of cookie dough.]] / Harold: Wow Ferd! I didn't know you cook. What are you making? / Ferdinand: Chocolate chip cookies. / Harold: How do you make that? / Ferdinand: Let's see...flour, salt, baking soda, butter, sugar, eggs, and chocolate chips. / [[Close of up Harold.]] / Harold:...
Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Color [[Harold and Aaron are sitting and reading a newspaper]] / Harold: Jeez, a black Harvard professor was arrested when a white woman reported he was breaking into--his own house! / Harold: At least the police eventually dropped the charges. / Aaron: Yeah, but what happens when you're not a Harvard professor?...
Mental Dental, Part 1 [Harold and Ferdinand walking outside] / Harold: This toothache is killing me! I gotta get to a dentist. / Ferdinand: Dentists are for SHMUCKS! / Ferdinand: They're goin' to charge you like two grand, and for what? Drilling a few teeth? I can do the same work for twenty bucks! / Harold: Hmm... I don't...
Mental Dental, Part 2 [[Ferdinand approaches Alp who is working on his inventions at this workbench in Alp's lab.]] / Ferdinand: Hey Alp, do you have a welding torch? / Alp: Is this for the dental work you're doing on Harold? / Ferdinand: That's right! I'm goin' to save him a ton of money he would have wasted on some crock...
Mental Dental, Part 3 [[Harold sits in a dental chair while Ferdinand probes at him with instruments.]] / Ferdinand: Harold, you're smart to let me do your dental work. This'll save you a bundle! / Ferdinand: I'm almost done, and then -- OOPS!! / Harold: Oops?! What do you mean oops?! / Ferdinand: Hmm ... These are your...
 
Mental Dental, Part 4 [[Harold has a metal brace around his head]] / Harold: Some hentist ya ah! Ih coss ee $5000 to hix ahl the hamage ya hid! (Some dentist you are! It cost me $5000 to fix all the damage you did!) / Ferdinand: Hey, it's not my fault you can't stay still when I'm using a bandsaw! / Ferdinand: Besides, I...
Beauty is T-Shirt Deep Harold: Aaron, I don't understand why you're always so cynical about people. / Harold: At the end of the day we all share the same values and everyone basically has a good heart. / [[Two people walk by. One wears a shirt that reads "Free Sperm Samples" and has an arrow pointing down to his groin....
It's Essentially the Same Experience [[Aaron stands next to a man trying to feed money to a scratcher machine].] / Man: This darn machine won't take my money. / Aaron: Here, let me help you with that. / Man: Thanks kind sir. / [[Aaron rips the dollar into shreds and walks away]] / Aaron: See, wasn't that more satisfying than a scratcher? / {{other...
Media is the Opiate of the People [[Aaron and Ferdinand walk along a tropical beach.]] / Ferdinand: Blogs, podcasts, satellite TV, radio, and more -- isn't the 21st century fantastic? / Ferdinand: There's so much media, no matter where I go, I can find a niche that reinforces my beliefs! / Ferdinand: I'll never have on of my thoughts...
It's Always Sad When They Go So Young [[Aaron sits on a park bench next to a man and his child, who sits on his father's lap. The man holds a large book.]] / Man: Hey little guy, let's read a story together. / Man: 6,000 years ago, there was no Earth or sky. Then God said "Let there be light!" and it was good. / [[Aaron leans over and talks...
 
Don't Be Sick [[Ferdinand and Harold are walking through the woods]] / Harold: The health care debate sure is getting heated. / Ferdinand: Well, for a good reason! / Ferdinand: It's socialist to let the government dictate our docters. Not to mention the death panels and mandatory euthanasia for everyone over 60! / Harold:...
Guest Comic by David Wilborn {{Guest comic by David Wilborn.}} / Alp: I've finally done it, Ferd -- my ultimate invention! / Ferdinand: Oh, yeah? / Alp: Behold -- the baconator! I can transform anything into bacon with the press of a button! / Ferdinand: Fire it up! / <> / [[Alp is obscured by a cloud of smoke.]] / [[Alp...
Guest Comic by Audra Furuichi {{Guest comic by Audra Furuichi and Scott Yoshinaga.}} / [[Harold and Aaron sit at a table reading newpapers.]] / Harold: This woman claims her dog saved her life. She says the dog told her to get out of the house because there was a gas leak. / Aaron: Heh! / Aaron: Ridiculous! You can't believe everything...
Guest Comic by Jeff Schuetze {{Guest comic by Jeff Schuetze, creator of the geek and video game webcomic JEFbot}} / [[Alp sits reading a book with Ferdinand looking over his shoulder, while Harold, Aaron, and Raymond are playing cards]] / Ferdinand: I was thinking: if those mini copies of Aaron and I could combine to form a fearsome,...
Comic Strip Syndication [[Ferd in a seat, is handed a "Congrats!" document]] / hander: Congratulations! You're out winner! / Ferd: What?! What's this? / Ferd: I've won a comic strip syndication contract?! I've hit the jackpot! / [[View pulls back, Ferd is riding in a train car]] / Ferd: I've finally made it! I'm on the fast...
 
Galileo's Finger, Part 1 [[Aaron is holding a box.]] / Aaron: Harold, I just got a strange package from Florence. / Harold: I wonder what it could be. / Aaron: Oh my God! Do your know what this is? It's *Galileo's middle finger!* / Harold: His middle finger is preserved in a glass egg? / Aaron: The History of Science museum...
Galileo's Finger, Part 2 [[Aaron is holding Galileo's middle finger in a glass egg.]] / Harold: It's amazing to thing the Catholic Church fought so hard against the heliocentric viewpoint. At least those days are behind us. / Aaron: Actually, as recently as 1990, Cardinal Ratzinger said the church was "rational and just" in...
Galileo's Finger, Part 3 Harold: Do you think Aaron's spending a little too much time with Galileo's middle finger? / Alp: What makes you say that? / [[Aaron driving in a car, the finger strapped in in the passenger seat.]] / [[Aaron in a restaurant, candle-lit dinner with the finger.]] / [[Aaron in bed, snuggling the finger.]] / {{alt...
Galileo's Finger, Part 4 Aaron: I've decided to return Galileo's middle finger back to the History of Science museum in Florence. / Harold: Good for you! That's really where it belongs. / Aaron: Yeah, with all the crap the Catholic Church put him through, Galileo deserves to have his finger appreciated by everyone! / Harold:...
Galileo's Finger, Part 5 [[Harold and Arron at a park. Harold is pointing off in the distance.]] / Harold: Hey look, there's Ferd! / Aaron: That bastard! I can't believe he stole Galileo's middle finger from me! / Aaron: Hey Ferd, give me the finger! *GIVE ME THE FINGER!!* / [[Everyone stops and stares at Aaron.]] / Aaron:...
 
Galileo's Finger, Part 6 Raymond: Aaron returned Galileo's middle finger this morning. / Ferdinand: Too bad. There's nothing better to say #@*% you, than using a 400 year old finger. / Ferdinand: Well, at least I still have this. / [[Ferdinand holds up a glass encased finger]] / Raymond: What?! How do you still have the finger? / Ferdinand:...
Tetrachromatic Dreams [[Ferdinand and Raymond are sitting in a field. The sun is setting in the background.]] / Raymond: Most people are trichromatic. They use three different cone cells to perceive color. / Raymond: But a mutation can give some women an extra cone, making them tetrachromatic. They may actually see completely...
Tetrachromatic Women [[Raymond and Aaron it on a swing in a tree. They are both reading books. The tree has red autumn leaves.]] / Raymond: It's fun to think that some women have a mutation that makes them tetrachromats. I wonder if they see entirely new colors... / Raymond: ...or if they are just better at distinguishing...
Drunken Personalities [[Harold and Aaron are walking on beach at night.]] / Harold: Why do certain people always become aggressive when they drink? Is it purely due to the alcohol?... / Harold: ...Or does it reflect some real aspect of the person that only shows through once they have been released from their inhibitions? / Aaron:...
The 21st Century Experience [[Ferdinand and Aaron are standing in front of the kitchen counter. Aaron is cutting some chicken thighs. Some tomatoes also sit on the counter.]] / Ferdinand: Ew! why's that chicken bloody? / Aaron: It's raw meat! Sometimes there's blood. What do you expect? / Ferdinand: Well, I don't like it! It reminds...
 

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