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Born Again [[Aaron and Harold are laying in the grass, looking up at red leaved trees.]] / Aaron: I've had a change of heart. I now believe in God. / Harold: So you've accepted His love and realized we're all here to serve His higher purpose? / Aaron: I needed someone to blame for everything that's wrong with the world.
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=121
Edumacation Harold: Thomas Jefferson said that the *key* to democracy is having an *educated public* that can make informed decisions. / TV interviewer: Governor, what steps would *you* take to alleviate the current sub-prime mortgage crisis? / Gov. Palin: We'll fix it for *Joe six pack* and *hockey moms!* We're *mavericks!* / Aaron: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you *your* Public Education system! / TV interviewer: You're *not* addressing the questions! / Gov. Palin: We'll use *maverick* powers to *maverick* the *mavericky maverick!* / {{ alt text: A probably completely unnecessary comic strip criticizing Sarah Palin, as if we need more of these.}}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=122
Red Lenses Ferdinand: You're a pretty good artist. Do you think you could draw *anything*? / Harold: More of less I guess. / Ferdinand: Okay, then draw *red* / [[ silence ]] / Harold: *I'm holding a #2 pencil!* / Ferdinand: Excuses, excuses.
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=123
The Media Aaron: The media is in the *unique* position to ask presidential candidates questions to better inform voters. Instead reporters just *pander* to them. / Aaron: There are so many competing news outlets that they're afraid a candidate will choose a competitor. / Harold: C'mon, it's not *that* bad. / TV reporter: If you win the election, what will you do? / Candidate: I'm goin' to Disney Land! / Aaron: Yeah, it's *worse*! / TV reporter: In your opinion, would you say that terrorism is a good or bad thing?
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=124
Working for a Living, Part 1 [[Alp and Harold are standing in Alp's lab.]] / Harold: The *classifieds?! / Alp: My invention supplies are *low*, so I need some *cash*. / Alp: Working for a living is going to *suck*! / Harold: What about the *American Dream* of building success through one's own hard work? / Aaron: Maybe you didn't get the *memo*, but that's been replaced by the dream of becoming a *Trust Fund Baby* and inheriting your daddy's fortune. / {{ alt text: Alp is out of money, and may have to start looking for a job.}}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=125
 
Working for a Living, Part 2 [[Harold and Alp are walking through the forest.]] / Harold: How's your job hunt going? / Alp: Terrible! / Alp: I got a job as a band teller, but they fired me the *first day.* / Harold: Really? How hard can it be to process deposits and withdrawals? / Alp: I fell victim to what's probably a *common* misunderstanding. / [[Alp at the bank, money stuffed in his pockets.]] / Alp: What?! You mean the customers *aren't* all giving me tips?! / {{ alt text: Alp tries his hand at working as a bank teller.}}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=126
Working for a Living, Part 3 [[Alp is sitting at the dining room table reading the paper when Harold walks up.]] / Harold: Alp, you still don't have work? / Alp: well, I got a job at the Gap, but they let me go. / Harold: What happened? / Alp: Apparently they don't like their employees to be honest to their customers. / [[Alp is in a dress shirt and pants, wearing a name tag that reads ALP. He is standing in the dressing room at the Gap.]] / Alp: Well of course you look fat in those jeans. You are fat!
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=127
Working for a Living, Part 4 Alp: My interview for the engineering position didn't work out. / Harold: Really? Given your background with inventions I figured you'd be *perfectly* suited. / Alp: Yeah, but they required an *advanced degree* for consideration. / Alp: I tried to fool them, but *somehow* they caught on. / {{ alt text: Alp tries to apply for an engineering job, but it stumped when asked to spell Ph. D.}}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=128
Working for a Living, Part 5 [[Harold and Alp are looking at a computer]] / Harold: Looking for jobs on the internet? / Alp: Nope! My money troubles are over! I'm ready to start inventing again! / Harold: What?! Just last week you were broke and desperate for work! / Alp: But that was before I got this email from a Nigerian prince. Once I send him my bank account number, all my problems will be solved!
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=129
That Ain't No Honey [[Ferdinand sees a beehive]] / Ferdinand: Yum... honey! / [[Ferdinand throws a rock at it.]] / [[Ferdinand is chased by bees. Next panel shows Ferdinand watching TV with Aaron, with a puffy face]] / Ferdinand: Guess what? If you throw rocks at a beehive, you're goin' to get stung! / Aaron: Some people have to learn the hard way. / TV: "He's an Arab!" "No, ma'am, he's a decent man." "He's a terrorist!"
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=130
 
Designer Shirt Ferdinand: How do like my new $300 designer shirt? / Aaron: Do you realize you could have fed an entire African village with that? / Ferdinand: The villagers eat fabric?
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=131
Don't Get Too Comfy [[Aaron and Harold are walking along a perilous looking bridge.]] / Harold: It's such a strange and foreign sensation ... / Harold: ... the election is getting near and I'm not even dreading it ... / Harold: ... I actually feel a glimmer of hope and optimism ... / [[Aaron holds Harold back from walking off the edge where the bridge abruptly stops.]] / Aaron: Hey, don't get too comfy! Funny things can happen once people close the curtains!
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=132
Conflicting Principles [[Harold and Ferdinand reading newspapers at the table]] / Harold: Even with a deficit and a dangerously widening poverty gap, conservatives want tax cuts for the wealthy. / Ferdinand: You bet! The government can't tell us what to do with our money! / Harold: And with a crisis of sick and uninsured patients, there shouldn't be national health care? / Ferdinand: Darn right! Government can't tell us which doctors to see / Harold: Then I guess the government shouldn't tell us who can and cannot get married. / Ferdinand: WHAT?! You wanna bring about the end of civilization?! / {{Title text: Conflicting Principles}} / {{other keywords: gay marriage, equal rights, proposition 8}}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=133
Tomorrow's Election Day [[Harold and Ferdinand walk through the woods. There are weird rock formations with red-leaved trees.]] / Harold: Tomorrow's election day! There's a lot of important stuff to vote on this year. / Harold: Have you been informed on all the key issues? / Ferdinand: Yes, I read plenty of bumper stickers. / [[Harold leaves]] / Ferdinand: IT'S MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE DO!
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=134
Where's the Change? [[Ferdinand and Harold watch the news]] / Ferdinand: Okay, where's all this change I've been hearing so much about? / TV: It's an honor to be elected president. / Harold: Obama still needs to be sworn in on Jan 20th! / Ferdinand: I knew those campaign promises were too good to be true!
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=135
 
Old People [[Alp and Ferdinand are walking trough the archtypical countryside at sunset]] / Ferdinand: Alp, have you ever noticed that it seems like old people grow SMALLER? / Alp: Yup, They're like SHRINKY DINKS! / Alp: It's a REAL EFFECT Ferd. Loss of bone density with age plus the constant strain of gravity causes a diminishing skeletal frame. / Ferdinand: Wow! What if old people DON'T DIE?! Instead they just keep SHRINKING until they're TOO SMALL to see! / Ferdinand: There could be BILLIONS of elderly people around us RIGHT NOW and we WOULDN'T even KNOW! / Alp: YEAH, with polyester pants pulled up to their AREOLAE! / [[Alp is warning Ferd for the little people; Ferdinand walks on his tip-toes]] / ALP: WATCH YOUR STEP!!! / {{Nov 7, 2008 - Old People}}
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=136
Headphones Harold: Aaron, why do you always wear headphones? Aaron? / Harold: Can you hear me Aaron? Aaron?! / [[Harold leaves]] / Harold: Never mind. / Aaron: Exactly.
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=137
Bumper Sticker [[Aaron stands watching Ferdinand put a sticker on his car that reads Obama '08]] / Aaron: What are you doin'? / Ferdinand: Putting a bumper sticker on my car. / Aaron: What?! The election ended over a week ago! / Ferdinand: I like to be on the winning side.
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=138
Agnostic [[Harold and Aaron are sitting at the foot of a tree on a mild autumn day. Harold is sitting up with his hands on his knees, and Aaron is relaxing with his arms behind his head.]] / Harold: Some people fanatically believe in God and all that implies... / Harold: ...atheists fervently contend that God doesn't exist... / [[The camera pans back to show them sitting at the base of a tree with deep red leaves. A peaceful lake sits at the bottom of the small hill.]] / Harold: ...what's wrong with admitting that we just don't know? / Aaron: Good luck selling anything with THAT slogan!
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=139
Names Aaron: I'm terrible at remembering names. What can I do to improve? / Harold: Look into that person's eyes and take who they are to heart. By realizing what makes them special you will have a unique reminder to associate with their name. / Aaron: Never mind then.
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=140
 
Cooperation [[Ferdinand and Alp sit fishing on an island]] / Ferdinand: Have you ever seen those little birds that pick the crocodile's teeth? / Alp: Yup, the Egyptian Clover. Their chirps also alert the crocodiles of impending danger. / Ferdinand: A beautiful example of a symbiotic relationship. / Alp: You bet. It's inspirational. / Ferd: If only we could learn from their example and find ways to similarly cooperate together. / Alp: Yeah. / [[Ferdinand and Alp look at each for a moment.]] / [[Alp is standing in Ferdinand's mouth.]] / Alp: This isn't working like I expected... / Alp: Maybe if you had a double-jointed jaw... / Ferdinand: Hmmff...
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=141
Fight [[Harold and Aaron sit on a bench hanging from a tree. Harold reads a newspaper.]] / Aaron: Every day, all we do is fight. Fight traffic, fight the crowds, fight our neighbors, and fight our families. / Harold: And after all that pointless fighting, we all die. / Aaron: Hey, don't try to cheer me up.
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=142
Boundaries Broken [[Harold and Aaron walk in the forest at nighttime]] / Harold: Have you ever heard of the phrase "breaking the fourth wall" when discussing comic strips? / [[They both walk across a bridge]] / Aaron: Sure, that's when the comic characters are actually aware that they exist within the confines of a comic. / Harold: what I've never understood is that since comics exist in a two-dimensional plane, shouldn't it be "breaking the third wall?" / Aaron: But you're forgetting the third dimension of comics--time, which is represented by the sequential pictures. / Harold: Wow, so the term is actually making reference to the space-time comics continuum? I didn't realize cartoonists were capable of such heady stuff. / Aaron: You better believe it! / [[Aaron walks out of the border of the panel]] / Aaron: What do you think comic writing is? Just making gags with talking animals?
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=143
Utopia Tree [[Harold and Aaron are sitting at the base of a tree.]] / Harold: Can you imagine a world without religion? / [[The camera pans back to show that the tree leaves are bright red on this autumn day, and the sun is setting in the background.]] / Aaron: Or as I like to call it... heaven on earth.
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=144
Light as a Feather [[Harold and Alp are standing on top of a tall building. The sun is setting in the background.]] / Harold: Wow, what a long way down. / Alp: People look like ants from up here. / Harold: Imagine jumping from here. Free-fall must be an amazing sensation. / Harold: You're light as a feather, with the weight of the world lifted off your shoulders. / Alp: You'd probably get a lot of bugs stuck in your teeth on the way down.
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=145
 
It Came from the Drain, Part 1 [[Harold and Alp in the kitchen, Alp pouring something down the drain.]] / Harold: Alp, *What* are you doing? / Alp: Disposing of old bacon grease. / Harold: *Jeez*, how much bacon do you *eat?* / Alp: You know, *the usual*. Bacon omelets, BLTs, bacon cheese dip, bacon on salad, on my potato, chocolate dipped bacon, bacon cheese cake, fried sticks of butter wrapped in bacon. / Harold: But Alp, you *can't* just dump grease down the sink. *There's laws.* / Alp: *Good point!* Thanks for reminding me! / Harold: You *don't* wanna be stuck cleaning hardened grease out of the pipes. / Harold: --Wait, what's *this?!* / Alp: *Don't worry, no more bacon grease. This is *nitric acid*. / Harold: ALP!
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=146
It Came from the Drain, Part 2 [[Harold and Alp in the kitchen, Alp pouring something down the drain.]] / Harold: Alp, you *can't* just dump *toxic waste* from your experiments down the *drain!* / Alp: *Great!* Just *another* example of liberals trying to stifle the innovative *American* spirit! I'm trying to invent things that will enhance people's lives, but you *granola heads* are worried that a bird *may* get some *gunk* on it. / Alp: *Don't worry*, I know all about handling *chemicals* / [[They walk away from the empty sink.]] / Alp: ...Now let's go eat some *Twinkies*. / [[Closeup of the drain. Something green seems to be coming back up out of the drain...]]
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=147
It Came from the Drain, Part 3 [[Harold and Alp watching TV.]] / Alp: Watching TV is *great!* It's like reading *without* literacy. / [[A greenish something appears over Alp's shoulder.]] / Alp: Hey Harold, I know we're *friends*, but it's a little *creepy* when you slobber your *tongue* on my face. / Harold: Alp, I would *never* put my tongue on *you!!* You *never* even *bathe!* / Alp: Then if I *did* bath-- Wait, if that's not *you*, then *what?*-- / [[Harold and Alp look back--]] / Harold and Alp: AHHHH!!
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=148
It Came from the Drain, Part 4 [[A gelatinous mound of sludge and garbage rears it's "head"...]] / blob: BRARRR!! / Alp: This is definitely *not* spiffy! / Harold: *See Alp!* I told you not to dump all your *garbage* down the *sink!*... / Harold: ... Now the *toxic chemicals* from your experiments and the *old food* have reacted together to make a *monster!!* / Alp: *How* can you be *so sure* that's what happened? There are probably *thousands* of plausible explanations! / Alp: *sniff* *sniff* / Alp: I *do* seem to detect the gentle aroma of *last week's Lasagna* mixed with a touch of *hydrogen sulfide*... / Harold: SEE!! / blob: RROAR!
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=149
It Came from the Drain, Part 5 [[The blob has Alp in its clutches!]] / blob: ROARRRRR!! / Alp: Harold! / Harold: Alp! / Harold: *Stop! That thing's taking Alp! Help! Anyone help!* / Harold: Wow, I can't believe that Alp's gone. / Harold: After all these years of wishing he was out of my hair, that was surprisingly unsatisfying.
http://calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=150
 

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