Wingmen archives

You're browsing the archives of Wingmen.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

210.	MICHAEL / Check it out, Chaz! My old boombox still works! / MR. BITTERS / I'll show you kids! I'll fight noise with noise! / MR. BITTERS / My speakers will blast the are with high frequency sound! / CHAZ / You've sure taken good care of your hearing, Mr. Bitters! / MICHAEL / You'll bury us all, Mr.... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080529.html
211.	A human's ability to hear frequencies above 17kHz deteriorates at a fairly predictable rate. Ingeniously, a company has used this fact to market anti-loitering devices that blast a shrill noise audible only to teens. Well, teens, dogs, cats, dolphins, and people with plain old good hearing... / BIZZY / You... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080531.html
212.	BIZZY / Heed my warning! WANTON AGEISM is upon us, comrades! / BIZZY / The very HYPOCRITES who complain about teens and noise pollution have STUPED to using high frequency noise to ward off teens! / BIZZY / Without regard to its long-term health effects, they CRAM it down our ears! / BIZZY / Well, I... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080602.html
213.	BIZZY / I won't lie to you. We need to take our complaint to the top, and it could get dangerous! / BIZZY / Our enemy may go to drastic lengths to silence us! / BIZZY / In kind, we may need to retort with violence. Is each of you prepared to do that? / Can I touch yoru koala? / Dude, I was just thinking... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080605.html
214.	BIZZY / Your company is polarizing America by selling devices designed to keep teenagers out of public places. We're here to stop this blatant discrimination! / Discriminating AGAINST teens? That's NONSENSE! Why, that same technology allows us to make a RINGTONE you parents and teachers CAN'T hear! / BIZZY / You... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080607.html

215.	BIZZY / I have petitions from thousands of teenagers who will go on strike unless you turn off your machines! Just think, teens around the world will simultaneously stop... uh... / BIZZY / Hmm... What ARE teenagers good for? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080609.html
216.	You're an intelligent young woman - Perhaps we can work out a compromise! / Let's just head over to the negotiation room... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080612.html
217.	BIZZY / I can't take any more negotiation! It's now or never! / BIZZY / Let 'em have it! Over! / I see you're starting to crack! / What's that sound? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080616.html
218.	Do you really think your funky teenage noise pollution will get us to stop? / She's got bootay... Bootay booty got booty all the time... / Enough! We'll cease production immediately! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080619.html
219.	BIZZY / Has the noise stopped? / It has! Isn't it wonderful? / Wait... Couldn't you hear it any more? / BIZZY / I haven't been able to hear it for hours... / I've never heard of such dedication to a cause! It's ironic - no, TRAGIC, - no, HEROIC! You're like a modern-day Beethoven! / BIZZY / Pardon... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080621.html

220.	No more noise machines. I guess it's all for the best. Now families can enjoy the store together. / HARRIET / Please. What family shops together at antique stores? / OTTO / A PRE-WAR DRESSER DRAWER, PA! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080623.html
221.	No one's defending the sanctity of marriage anymore! It's an outrage! / CHAZ / Really? Don't you think everyone has the right to get married? / Of course! But not whomever they WANT to marry! / We're having a boutonniere emergency! And both grooms are insisting on orchids at every table! / Whoah.... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080626.html
222.	CHAZ / Do gay men or gay women buy more wedding flowers? / Oh, it's about the same. / CHAZ / Interesting. I always imagined a lesbian wedding would have simple decorations and a lone guitar player. / That sounds exactly like my wedding! / Wait... Am I a lesbian?!? I never suspected!! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080628.html
223.	LOUIE / What are you DOING?!? / HARRIET / I'm helping the economy! / HARRIET / They'll have to buy a new window. The guy who INSTALLS the window, the guy who MAKES the window, and the guy who SUPPLIES the raw materials all benefit. They they'll SPEND those profits, and the cycle begins again! / LOUIE / I... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080630.html
224.	JUNE / You ever notice how car alarms sound like a cartoon character's reaction to a pretty girl? / JUNE / A-OO-GAH! / MICHAEL / WOOP! / WOOP! / JUNE / WEE-O-WEE-O-WEE-O-WEE... / MICHAEL / I never stopped loving you! / JUNE / I don't think I've ever heard an alarm say that... / MICHAEL / Uh... It's mostly... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080703.html

225.	A university quadruple-blind study shows a significant difference in whatever it is they were testing. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080705.html
226.	BIZZY / I was walking through the park and I must have looked cold, because this guy gave me a sweatshirt! / HARRIET / Cool! Did he ask for your phone number or anything? / BIZZY / Sort of. He tried to get me to sign up for a credit card. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080707.html
227.	CHAZ / Did you hear about all the cigarettes with lead in them that they had to recall? / LOUIE / Yeah... I guess they left out the benzene, cadmium, arsenic, cyanide, ammonia, tar, and formaldehyde. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080710.html
228.	Wait a minute! I'm sick of anti-smoking groups and their fearmongering statistics! / Arsenic, for example, is an ELEMENT that's naturally present in the soil. Plants, of course, take their nutrients from the soil, and the tobacco leaf is no exception. Naturally, tobacco contains traces of arsenic.... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080712.html
229.	CHAZ / Are movie posters required to list actors' names by top billing? / CHAZ / Because the names never line up with the pictures of the actors! / CHAZ / Invariably you end up mixing up a black actress with a white guy! / RICK / Sounds like something that happened to me at a club once! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080714.html

230.	CHAZ / I'm sick and tired of women talking about how they have a higher threshold of pain than men! / CHAZ / It doesn't make any sense! / HARRIET / No, it's been proven! / CHAZ / Even so, that would mean men experience pain more easily. If they put up with more pain on a daily basis, logically, men must... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080717.html
231.	JUNE / If you're going to shop here, you'll want a sturdy reusable bag. / HARRIET / Oh. Will they give me dirty looks if I ask for a paper bag? / JUNE / Yeah, sometimes. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080721.html
232.	HARRIET / This place is great! There's a solid organic selection, clean aisles, lots of space... / HARRIET / I wonder why more people don't shop here! / JUNE / I don't know. The high prices, I guess. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080724.html
233.	PEACHES 99¢/lb. / ORGANIC PEACHES http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080726.html
234.	JUNE / AIAIAI!!! / HARRIET / That sounds like June! / HARRIET / It's lucky I always bring a first aid kit with me! / JUNE / Harriet! I hope that's a first aid kit! / JUNE / THe ninja I clobbered needs serious medical attention! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080728.html

235.	JUNE / My tote bag can kick your tote bag's ass. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080731.html
236.	MICHAEL / What do women want to hear when they ask how many people a guy's slept with? Certainly not that he's a virgin. / MICHAEL / But they don't want to hear that he was too promiscuous, either. / MICHAEL / And if a guy says he's slept with just one woman, it seems like they get all concerned that... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080802.html
237.	JUNE / Are you really going to let him EXPLOIT you as a weapon like that? / HISS! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080804.html
238.	JUNE / Shinobi, or ninja, might have originally served as contractors to carry out murders for Japanese feudal lords. / HARRIET / Didn't they have armies for that sort of thing? / JUNE / They had very loyal warriors, and therein lies the irony. / JUNE / The same bushido code that tied the samurai to their... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080807.html
239.	Well done. / You have fought admirably, but can you survive our UNRELENTING WAKIZASHI ONSLAUGHT?!? / ...And can I get a price check on beef jerky? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080809.html

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 >>