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| 210. | MICHAEL
/ Check it out, Chaz! My old boombox still works! / MR. BITTERS
/ I'll show you kids! I'll fight noise with noise! / MR. BITTERS
/ My speakers will blast the are with high frequency sound! / CHAZ
/ You've sure taken good care of your hearing, Mr. Bitters! / MICHAEL
/ You'll bury us all, Mr. Bitters! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080529.html |
| 211. | A human's ability to hear frequencies above 17kHz deteriorates at a fairly predictable rate. Ingeniously, a company has used this fact to market anti-loitering devices that blast a shrill noise audible only to teens. Well, teens, dogs, cats, dolphins, and people with plain old good hearing... / BIZZY
/ You hear that? / HARRIET
/ They need more people to help with litter! / MICHAEL
/ We can all pitch in! / BIZZY
/ I don't know how much longer I can stand it! / BIZZY
/ STOP THAT NOISE! / HARRIET
/ Well, apparently not everyone believes in keeping our parks clean! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080531.html |
| 212. | BIZZY
/ Heed my warning! WANTON AGEISM is upon us, comrades! / BIZZY
/ The very HYPOCRITES who complain about teens and noise pollution have STUPED to using high frequency noise to ward off teens! / BIZZY
/ Without regard to its long-term health effects, they CRAM it down our ears! / BIZZY
/ Well, I won't stand for it! / Yeah! Tell it like it is! / Right on, sister! United we stand! / BIZZY
/ I didn't think anyone would actually LISTEN to me! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080602.html |
| 213. | BIZZY
/ I won't lie to you. We need to take our complaint to the top, and it could get dangerous! / BIZZY
/ Our enemy may go to drastic lengths to silence us! / BIZZY
/ In kind, we may need to retort with violence. Is each of you prepared to do that? / Can I touch yoru koala? / Dude, I was just thinking that! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080605.html |
| 214. | BIZZY
/ Your company is polarizing America by selling devices designed to keep teenagers out of public places. We're here to stop this blatant discrimination! / Discriminating AGAINST teens? That's NONSENSE! Why, that same technology allows us to make a RINGTONE you parents and teachers CAN'T hear! / BIZZY
/ You think we'll abandon our cause because of some gimmicky ringtone? Please!
/ Does that phone come with unlimited texting? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080607.html |
| 215. | BIZZY
/ I have petitions from thousands of teenagers who will go on strike unless you turn off your machines! Just think, teens around the world will simultaneously stop... uh... / BIZZY
/ Hmm... What ARE teenagers good for? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080609.html |
| 216. | You're an intelligent young woman - Perhaps we can work out a compromise! / Let's just head over to the negotiation room... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080612.html |
| 217. | BIZZY
/ I can't take any more negotiation! It's now or never! / BIZZY
/ Let 'em have it! Over! / I see you're starting to crack! / What's that sound? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080616.html |
| 218. | Do you really think your funky teenage noise pollution will get us to stop? / She's got bootay... Bootay booty got booty all the time... / Enough! We'll cease production immediately! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080619.html |
| 219. | BIZZY
/ Has the noise stopped? / It has! Isn't it wonderful? / Wait... Couldn't you hear it any more? / BIZZY
/ I haven't been able to hear it for hours... / I've never heard of such dedication to a cause! It's ironic - no, TRAGIC, - no, HEROIC! You're like a modern-day Beethoven! / BIZZY
/ Pardon me? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080621.html |
| 220. | No more noise machines. I guess it's all for the best. Now families can enjoy the store together. / HARRIET
/ Please. What family shops together at antique stores? / OTTO
/ A PRE-WAR DRESSER DRAWER, PA! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080623.html |
| 221. | No one's defending the sanctity of marriage anymore! It's an outrage! / CHAZ
/ Really? Don't you think everyone has the right to get married? / Of course! But not whomever they WANT to marry! / We're having a boutonniere emergency! And both grooms are insisting on orchids at every table! / Whoah. Is she okay? / CHAZ
/ I don't know. I've never seen anyone cough dollar signs before. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080626.html |
| 222. | CHAZ
/ Do gay men or gay women buy more wedding flowers? / Oh, it's about the same. / CHAZ
/ Interesting. I always imagined a lesbian wedding would have simple decorations and a lone guitar player. / That sounds exactly like my wedding! / Wait... Am I a lesbian?!? I never suspected!! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080628.html |
| 223. | LOUIE
/ What are you DOING?!? / HARRIET
/ I'm helping the economy! / HARRIET
/ They'll have to buy a new window. The guy who INSTALLS the window, the guy who MAKES the window, and the guy who SUPPLIES the raw materials all benefit. They they'll SPEND those profits, and the cycle begins again! / LOUIE
/ I see. Is that why most of the cars on this block have flat tires? / HARRIET
/ No, that was just 'cause I don't like hatchbacks. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080630.html |
| 224. | JUNE
/ You ever notice how car alarms sound like a cartoon character's reaction to a pretty girl? / JUNE
/ A-OO-GAH! / MICHAEL
/ WOOP!
/ WOOP! / JUNE
/ WEE-O-WEE-O-WEE-O-WEE... / MICHAEL
/ I never stopped loving you! / JUNE
/ I don't think I've ever heard an alarm say that... / MICHAEL
/ Uh... It's mostly on European cars! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080703.html |
| 225. | A university quadruple-blind study shows a significant difference in whatever it is they were testing. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080705.html |
| 226. | BIZZY
/ I was walking through the park and I must have looked cold, because this guy gave me a sweatshirt! / HARRIET
/ Cool! Did he ask for your phone number or anything? / BIZZY
/ Sort of. He tried to get me to sign up for a credit card. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080707.html |
| 227. | CHAZ
/ Did you hear about all the cigarettes with lead in them that they had to recall? / LOUIE
/ Yeah... I guess they left out the benzene, cadmium, arsenic, cyanide, ammonia, tar, and formaldehyde. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080710.html |
| 228. | Wait a minute! I'm sick of anti-smoking groups and their fearmongering statistics! / Arsenic, for example, is an ELEMENT that's naturally present in the soil. Plants, of course, take their nutrients from the soil, and the tobacco leaf is no exception. Naturally, tobacco contains traces of arsenic. So does most of the food you eat, and you don't see ME hassling YOU about that! / CHAZ
/ Interesting point. How about the formaldehyde? / LOUIE
/ Tar? / CHAZ
/ Ammonia? / LOUIE
/ DDT? / WHEEZE!... Just a second... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080712.html |
| 229. | CHAZ
/ Are movie posters required to list actors' names by top billing? / CHAZ
/ Because the names never line up with the pictures of the actors! / CHAZ
/ Invariably you end up mixing up a black actress with a white guy! / RICK
/ Sounds like something that happened to me at a club once! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080714.html |
| 230. | CHAZ
/ I'm sick and tired of women talking about how they have a higher threshold of pain than men! / CHAZ
/ It doesn't make any sense! / HARRIET
/ No, it's been proven! / CHAZ
/ Even so, that would mean men experience pain more easily. If they put up with more pain on a daily basis, logically, men must be tougher. / CHAZ
/ It's just another misused statistic women throw around like it's some kind of feminist - / MICHAEL
/ Whoah. Did that hurt? / CHAZ
/ Which answer would help my argument more? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080717.html |
| 231. | JUNE
/ If you're going to shop here, you'll want a sturdy reusable bag. / HARRIET
/ Oh. Will they give me dirty looks if I ask for a paper bag? / JUNE
/ Yeah, sometimes. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080721.html |
| 232. | HARRIET
/ This place is great! There's a solid organic selection, clean aisles, lots of space... / HARRIET
/ I wonder why more people don't shop here! / JUNE
/ I don't know. The high prices, I guess. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080724.html |
| 233. | PEACHES 99¢/lb. / ORGANIC PEACHES http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080726.html |
| 234. | JUNE
/ AIAIAI!!! / HARRIET
/ That sounds like June! / HARRIET
/ It's lucky I always bring a first aid kit with me! / JUNE
/ Harriet! I hope that's a first aid kit! / JUNE
/ THe ninja I clobbered needs serious medical attention! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080728.html |
| 235. | JUNE
/ My tote bag can kick your tote bag's ass. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080731.html |
| 236. | MICHAEL
/ What do women want to hear when they ask how many people a guy's slept with? Certainly not that he's a virgin. / MICHAEL
/ But they don't want to hear that he was too promiscuous, either. / MICHAEL
/ And if a guy says he's slept with just one woman, it seems like they get all concerned that this one woman was overly special! / BIZZY
/ Could it be that they actually want to hear the truth? / MICHAEL
/ Is it possible to sleep with 1.5 women? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080802.html |
| 237. | JUNE
/ Are you really going to let him EXPLOIT you as a weapon like that? / HISS! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080804.html |
| 238. | JUNE
/ Shinobi, or ninja, might have originally served as contractors to carry out murders for Japanese feudal lords. / HARRIET
/ Didn't they have armies for that sort of thing? / JUNE
/ They had very loyal warriors, and therein lies the irony. / JUNE
/ The same bushido code that tied the samurai to their lords prevented them from killing someone dishonorably. / JUNE
/ I mention this because I'm holding back the desire to kick this guy when he's down. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080807.html |
| 239. | Well done. / You have fought admirably, but can you survive our UNRELENTING WAKIZASHI ONSLAUGHT?!? / ...And can I get a price check on beef jerky? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20080809.html |
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