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| 720. | Think about it - no restaurant is going to pay servers a living wage as long as we're expected to tip. / I firmly believe that the only way to change the system is to stop tipping. / But in the meantime, won't the waitstaff hate you? / Only if I'm foolish enough to go to the same restaurant twice... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120302.html |
| 721. | You can't walk all over the ninety-nine percent forever! / If everyone worked hard, they could ALL be part of the one percent. / If the one percent are all such achievers, how come you suck at math? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120305.html |
| 722. | CHAZ
/ So nothing I say can convince you to come out tonight? / RICK
/ I just don't feel like it tonight, man! / CHAZ & RICK
/ How can you spend all your time with one woman?
/ I've got to consider how may lady would feel about- / CHAZ & RICK
/ I'M BECOMING YOU! / CHAZ
/ You didn't have to say it so i... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120308.html |
| 723. | RICK
/ No two ways about it! I have to go drink with Chaz tonight! / LUCIA
/ Oh? How come? / RICK
/ Because it's exactly what he wouldn't do. / LUCIA
/ Spite him with your compliance! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120312.html |
| 724. | RICK
/ My tolerance has really gone down! I'm buzzed after two beers. / CHAZ
/ That's an EIGHTY-TWO PROOF craft beer. / RICK
/ It's not bad. / CHAZ
/ It's ninety-eight dollars a bottle. / RICK
/ Line 'em up! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120317.html |
| 725. | CHAZ
/ If you play your cards right, you can get that guy to break up with his girlfriend! / That's a huge catch-22! / If he's a dependable guy, he won't leave his girlfriend; if I CAN break them up, then he's not worth dating. / CHAZ
/ But has it ever occurred to you that NO GUY is worth dating? / ALL.... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120322.html |
| 726. | RICK
/ Plastic bottle, eh? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120325.html |
| 727. | RICK
/ So I asked the coach, "Is there any GOOD news?" and he said, "Well, our punter leads the conference in tackles." / WANDA
/ I should really be going... / Care to twirl my mustache? / WANDA
/ Let me just ask my BOYFRIEND! / RICK
/ Ubdr? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120329.html |
| 728. | WANDA
/ Will you pretend to be my boyfriend so this guy will leave me alone? / RICK
/ But I HAVE a girlfriend! / Where you goin'? I'm at your becking call! / RICK
/ BECKING call? Alright. I'll help you. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120331.html |
| 729. | RICK
/ Back off, creep. The lady is with me. I'm not gonna warn you twice! / Ah! You're a fellow pick-up artist! / RICK
/ No, no. She's my... girlfriend. / I had no idea. My best wishes to you both. / Why don't you ditch this two-bit tool and check out MY workbench? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120402.html |
| 730. | RICK
/ THAT'S it! You're OUT OF HERE! / Hey, man. You kill more bees with honey than with vinegar. / WANDA
/ Where'd you learn all your idioms? / RICK
/ If I see you bothering this lady again, I'll pulverize you. / Well, THAT's a real monkey in the ointment! / WANDA
/ At first, I felt sorry for you.... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120405.html |
| 731. | LUCIA
/ Did Rick go off with some girl last night? The rumors are flying. / LUCIA
/ Okay, that was a moth. But still. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120409.html |
| 732. | LUCIA
/ Rick! Who is this HARLOT? / WANDA
/ It's not like that! He saved me from an even creepier guy! / LUCIA
/ Oh. Wow. Did you see how jealous I just got? / RICK
/ Maybe that's the shot in the arm our love life needs! / CHAZ
/ Maybe you won't be on such a short leash now, Rick! / LUCIA
/ Yeah,... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120412.html |
| 733. | LUCIA
/ I reckon we're gonna be okay, Rick! / CHAZ
/ You're going to ENJOY watching your communication style GROW as a couple! / CHAZ
/ Don't you LOVE thinking about your FUTURE? / RICK & LUCIA
/ I don't think I want to be in a relationship any more. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120416.html |
| 734. | RICK
/ Chaz, you wanna hit up Club Vega later? / CHAZ
/ ...It's all pretty young girls there. / RICK
/ So you mean all the girls there are young and pretty. / CHAZ
/ I mean the girls are pretty young. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120419.html |
| 735. | CHAZ
/ Are you sure rushing back to the dating scene is a good idea? / RICK
/ Whether you think you shouldn't, or you should - you're right. / CHAZ
/ How are you so good at using misquotes to rationalize debauchery? / RICK
/ That's just how I am. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120423.html |
| 736. | NEWELL
/ This beer is so heady! / NIC
/ A little nose grease will help! / NEWELL
/ WHAT ARE YOU DONIG?! / NIC
/ Didn't you know that nose grease is nature's defoaming agent? / NEWELL
/ But couldn't you use your finger? / NIC
/ Are you kidding? Fingers are much less hygienic! / NIC
/ Uh-oh. I think I... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120426.html |
| 737. | CHAZ
/ Have girls ever complained about your... stamina? / LOUIE
/ It never comes up at all. / CHAZ
/ I had no idea. I'm so sorry! / LOUIE
/ Not what I meant!! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120429.html |
| 738. | HARRIET
/ Know what you need, Bizzy? We need to create a buzz about you. / HARRIET
/ Guys, help me hype Bizzy. / Just a sip will knock you out! / NEWELL
/ She's got a smile of gold-plated platinum! / She's a 3-D girl in a 2-D world. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120503.html |
| 739. | CHAZ
/ Someone keeps trying to text this other guy with my name. / MICHAEL
/ Your TOCAYO! / CHAZ
/ My what? / MICHAEL
/ Person with the same name as you. I'll never have one - my name's too unique. / MICHAEL JACOB
/ Jacob. / MICHAEL
/ Pity. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120507.html |
| 740. | NEWELL
/ You said she was well-read! / NIC
/ I said she was, well, red! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120510.html |
| 741. | RICK
/ I know it's ten a.m., but how 'bout a nigthcap? / MARYANNE
/ Yeah, sure! / RICK
/ Still got it! I'm da man! / RICK
/ Zoo-b'doo-bah-doo-dee! / CHAZ
/ Is there such a thing as flamboyantly straight? / HARRIET
/ There is now. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120514.html |
| 742. | HUGE
/ Password? / CHAZ
/ "Shamus." / CHAZ
/ No one told me it was case sensitive. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120517.html |
| 743. | LOUIE
/ The wedding's just a couple days away! / CHAZ
/ Whose wedding? / LOUIE
/ Mine and Amanda's! / CHAZ
/ Oh yeah... Aren't I supposed to be your best man? / LOUIE
/ Let's say "pretty good man." http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120521.html |
| 744. | CHAZ
/ DUDE, I'm gonna throw you a KILLAH bachelor party! / LOUIE
/ Chaz, you really don't need - / CHAZ
/ No, I insist. We're gonna make a MAN of you. / LOUIE
/ I'd really prefer not to have a party. / CHAZ
/ Trust me. This is the time to cut loose! / LOUIE
/ I don't - Um... I... Uhh... / LOUIE
/ I... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120524.html |
| 745. | Of COURSE I'm in favor of the plastic bag ban. Who wouldn't be? / SO inspiring! What would I do without them? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120528.html |
| 746. | We have a problem here... / My family DEPENDS on my job at the plastic bag factory! / Can't you get any other job? / Well, I've been an encyclopedia salesperson, telegraph operator, typewriter ribbon manufacturer... / You've had a rough go of it. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120531.html |
| 747. | First tear Chaz has cried since 8th grade. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120604.html |
| 748. | LOUIE
/ Chaz, I have a mission for you. / CHAZ
/ At your service. / LOUIE
/ Rick used to date my bride. Can you watch him all night and make sure he doesn't make an embarrassing speech? / CHAZ
/ I'm on it! / AMANDA
/ You think Rick would have made an awkward speech? / LOUIE
/ No, But Chaz would have... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120607.html |
| 749. | Usually guys I meet at weddings are such prudes. / RICK
/ I'm not so much AMORAL as IMMORAL. / I can tell you're a REAL bad-boy, and not some poser. / RICK
/ Oh, I'm the genuine article. / CHAZ
/ I see you've met Rick! Now HE is a REALLY NICE GUY. / RICK
/ Do you TRY to ruin everything you come ne... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20120611.html |
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