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| 450. | MICHAEL
/ Well, of COURSE I believe in true love! / JUNE
/ What?! Relationships aren't an exact science! / JUNE
/ People think love is all about fate and perfection, but then when things go wrong, they give up! / JUNE
/ It's an easy out! / JUNE
/ And what about - / NEWELL
/ This argument is more one-sided than a Mobius Strip! / NEWELL
/ SOMEDAY I'll find the right audience for that joke. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100111.html |
| 451. | NIC
/ So there's this girl in my class. Every day I think how DOUR and PLAIN she looks. / NIC
/ Last night I saw her talking with this guy, and she was so PRETTY. At first I thought I was just jealous. / CHAZ
/ And you were surprised you'd overlooked her before. / NIC
/ Yes! But then I realized that SHE'D changed - she was animated and happy around this guy. / CHAZ
/ And how did that make you feel? / NIC
/ ...Jealous. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100114.html |
| 452. | BIZZY
/ (You know, things are looking up.) / BIZZY
/ (Today might be a pretty good day.) / KEEP YOUR NEGATIVE TO YOURSELF! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100116.html |
| 453. | ELOISE
/ Seeya later. / MICHAEL
/ Bye, Eloise! / CHAZ
/ ELOISE? Your roommate's name is ELOISE? / MICHAEL
/ Yep. Say, who's that girl Rick's dating? / CHAZ
/ Lucia. How about that French guy we always see? / MICHAEL
/ I'm pretty sure it's JULIAN. / CHAZ
/ This has been so helpful! / MICHAEL
/ You're right! / ELOISE
/ I'm back. Forgot my anteater. / CHAZ
/ Hello, El- uh... EL... umm... / CHAZ
/ Aw, nuts. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100118.html |
| 454. | Sir? Do you need assistance? / NEWELL
/ I need at least THREE sistances! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100121.html |
| 455. | HARRIET
/ That's just your OPINION! I thought the effects were pretty good! / CHAZ
/ No! They were OBJECTIVELY bad! / HARRIET
/ Ugh! You just like to ARGUE! / CHAZ
/ That's not true at all! / CHAZ
/ I just like to be right. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100123.html |
| 456. | LUCIA
/ Rick, did you eat ALL THE CUPCAKES? / LUCIA
/ I specifically told you not to! They were for the - / RICK
/ ...For the surprise party - I know. I ate them out of spite, not ignorance. / LUCIA
/ You mean, you were LISTENING? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100125.html |
| 457. | LOUIE
/ Check out our engagement ring! / MICHAEL
/ Tell me, Louie... All through our lives, we're meeting attractive women who are engaged... / MICHAEL
/ ...and that moment you notice their engagement rings, doesn't a little part of you feel like an icicle's been jabbed through your heart? So now that it's your OWN fiancee... / MICHAEL
/ ...can you actually look at a ring and feel joy? / LOUIE
/ STAY AWAY. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100128.html |
| 458. | NIC
/ Eating crunchy food while looking at digital clocks is so weird. / NEWELL
/ What are you TALKING about? / NEWELL
/ This. Changes. Everything. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100130.html |
| 459. | CHAZ
/ Why don't you ever set up Michael with someone? / HARRIET
/ Are you kidding? It's impossible? / NIC
/ Where did you get your monkey, Michael? / MICHAEL
/ I've always wanted to tell that story! / HARRIET
/ You know, I'd like to hear EVERYONE'S stories? / NEWELL
/ We could hold like a contest! / JUNE
/ Like the Canterbury Tales! / CHAZ
/ So everyone buys the best storyteller a drink? / HARRIET
/ No way. None of you can handle seven shots. / MICHAEL
/ So how about the WORST storyteller buys a round for EVERYONE? / CHAZ
/ That's way better! / MICHAEL
/ Yes!! I'm smarter than Chaucer! / HARRIET
/ Told you. IMPOSSIBLE. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100201.html |
| 460. | Guest art by Luke Pebler / HARRIET
/ Why don't we start with your story, NEWELL? / NEWELL
/ Me? / NEWELL (VO)
/ I was born into a family of reptile biologists. / NEWELL
/ But I don't want to be a herpetologist! / NEWELL
/ To be fair, at the time I thought herpetologists studied cold sores. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100204.html |
| 461. | Guest art by Luke Pebler / NEWELL (VO)
/ With my parents' clout, I was able to get a sweet biology research scholarship. / NEWELL
/ Wait, we're just using these turtles to test cosmetics? / And what's wrong with that? / NEWELL
/ Well, young turtles could end up with unhealthy body image... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100206.html |
| 462. | Guest art by Luke Pebler / Leave now, and you'll be giving up a full-ride scholarship! / NEWELL
/ Bye. / NEWELL (VO)
/ And so I became an engineer, where there aren't any ethical considerations to worry about. / Let me learn, Father! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100208.html |
| 463. | Guest art by Bethany Sparks
/ Guest guest art by Jamie Welebob / CHAZ
/ When did you get YOUR pet, Nic? / NIC
/ It was when I was just a kid... / NIC
/ Mom, Dad, the kids have been bullying me at school. Maybe if I had a dog, they wouldn't pick on me. I've talked to the lunch minotaurs, but they don't do anything. / I think you mean lunch MONITORS, Nic. / Let's hope so. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100211.html |
| 464. | Guest art by Bethany Sparks / Son, I brought you a pet like I promised. / NIC
/ Is it a puppy? / Peep! / Yes. It's a puppy. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100213.html |
| 465. | Guest art by Bethany Sparks / Let's beat up that kid! / NIC
/ Let 'em have it, Attila! / NIC (VO)
/ Cowardly? Perhaps. But Attila INSPIRED me that day, and running changed my life. / JUNE
/ So you were a fast runner way back in elementary. / NIC
/ Sure... / He sure runs weird. I'd be almost embarrassed to chase him. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100215.html |
| 466. | Animal stories, eh? Would you like to hear the tale of my pet? / HARRIET
/ That'd be great! I'd love to hear your perspective! / Let's see... Our story begins one autumn night... / HARRIET
/ Are you fine with skipping this story? / NEWELL
/ Yes. / RICK
/ You bet. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100218.html |
| 467. | MICHAEL
/ May I tell MY story next? / MICHAEL
/ LISTEN, friends, to the TALE of a young man who wrestled the IMPOSSIBLE... and was driven to MADNESS! / JUNE
/ Sorry to interrupt, but I think we need a bathroom break. / CHAZ
/ Okay, Michael, start over, if you don't mind. / MICHAEL
/ Oh... okay. / MICHAEL
/ There, um, was a person who was me, and... uh... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100220.html |
| 468. | Guest art by Mark Tompkins / JUNE
/ It's your turn, Bizzy. What's your story? / BIZZY
/ The summer after I turned sixteen, I met an Australian boy who was spending time in the States... / BIZZY (VO)
/ At the end of the summer, he had to leave, but he gave me a gift I'll always remember. / CHAZ
/ What was it? A boomerang? / NIC
/ A walkabout? / JUNE
/ A shrimp on the bah'by? / HARRIET
/ Shut up, you guys! Those are all just stupid Australia stereotypes. / JUNE
/ So/ What was it? / HARRIET
/ A koala. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100224.html |
| 469. | Guest art by Mark Tompkins / BIZZY (VO)
/ Time passed, and I found a new boyfriend... / BIZZY
/ You won all those animals for me? How sweet! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100227.html |
| 470. | Guest art by Mark Tompkins / Look, I won you another - / HARRIET
/ I'm sorry, but I think we're moving too fast... / JUNE
/ How TRAGIC! How ROMANTIC! / HARRIET
/ For some reason, I never had much luck with dating after that. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100301.html |
| 471. | Guest art by Peter Ambrose / MICHAEL
/ My story begi- / RICK
/ My sophomore year of high school, we got a new vice-principal, and boy, was he a prick... / I have no idea why my predecessor has over looked so much of your misconduct... but it ends here. / DETENTION! / RICK
/ (Grumble... Totally unfair... Grumble...) / RICK
/ What are YOU in for? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100304.html |
| 472. | Guest art by Peter Ambrose / 30 seconds later... / RICK
/ Oh man, I don't think I can handle this. I'm not cut out for life in the joint! We gotta get out, man! / RICK
/ (Just need a plan...) / 55 minutes later... / RICK
/ You're gonna help me, right? We need gum, tape, styrofoam cups, that guy's jacket, and... / RIC
/ ...a pair of scissors. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100307.html |
| 473. | Guest art by Peter Ambrose / RICK
/ (This montage better work!) / RICK
/ Excuse me. As VICE PRINCIPAL, I came by to make sure everything was not all messed up. I'll be leaving now. / You're free to go. / RICK
/ Success! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100310.html |
| 474. | Guest art by Leslie Marchand / HARRIET
/ My first year out of college, I worked the weirdest hours. I'd never see my roommates, and it seemed like I was alone in this eerie, silent, two-A.M. world. / HARRIET
/ I don't know what your usual owners named you, but I'm calling you Jack, because that's the name of all the best double agents. / CHAZ
/ Harriet, is there a sweetheart beneath your tough exterior? / HARRIET
/ Chaz! Is there a conscious human behind your slobbering, catatonic face? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100315.html |
| 475. | Guest art by Leslie Marchand / GEORGE
/ Runcible! There you are! / HARRIET
/ Oh, is this your cat? / GEORGE
/ I warned Linda when we put in the cat door that Runcible would wander all over the neighborhood. / HARRIET
/ You're not the boss of him! Kittens need to be free, not sequestered in some musty old house all the time! / GEORGE
/ Please let go of my cat. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100318.html |
| 476. | Guest art by Leslie Marchand / HARRIET
/ Jack! Hey, Jack! / HARRIET
/ ...Runcible! / HARRIET
/ And the neighbors are none the wiser! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100322.html |
| 477. | Guest art by Leslie Marchand / HARRIET
/ They MOVED? No more Jack. No more Runcible... / Harriet, I know we never got along that well, but you seem to have a good relationship with Runcible. Please look after him now that we're gone.
/ -George and Linda Muehlbauer / HARRIET
/ That's wonderful! You can live with me now! / HARRIET
/ Now what's this stuff? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100326.html |
| 478. | LOUIE
/ Oh, yeah. Chaz invited me out tonight, and I forgot all about it. / AMANDA
/ You should go - I don't mind staying here. When was the last time you were out with them? / LOUIE
/ Gee, it's been... a long time since I've even had a drink. / LOUIE
/ I became MORE wholesome? By accident? / AMANDA
/ Would this be a bad time to tell you that you're accidentally a vegetarian now, too? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100401.html |
| 479. | LOUIE
/ Home on a Saturday night. What do we do? / AMANDA
/ I have an idea... / LOUIE
/ Amanda! Have some regard for energy efficiency! / LOUIE
/ That's better. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20100405.html |
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