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30. MISSY / Actually, I think going out more often will be good for you! / CHAZ / But YOU'RE the one who wants to talk on the phone every night! / MISSY / Darling, I just don't want you moping around at home when I'm out with my friends! / CHAZ / So you've been turning down your friends just to talk to me? / MISSY / Oh MY no. I usually sneak you in between margaritas and hookah.
31. CHAZ / I don't have fun at clubs... I just can't stand being surrounded by those throngs of drunks and desperate loners, you know? / MISSY / That's silly - I'm not drunk OR desperate, and I enjoy going out! / CHAZ / I feel awkward standing around not dancing, but whenever I see these sketchy older guys grinding with everybody in sight, I know I'll look like a creep if I try to dance with a stranger. When girls go out, they can just dance with their friends. With guys, it doesn't work that way. / CHAZ / ...Unless they're at a club with the word "rainbow" in the name.
32. CHAZ / So really, you had me talking to you on the phone every night because you thought I needed something to do! / CHAZ / Feel sorry for me, do you? You're about to find out what a hardcore partier I am! / RICK / A girl almost stole my car last night... Maybe I need to lay off the partying for a while. / CHAZ / Rick, you want me to be your wingman again tonight? / RICK / Yes I do!
33. BRING! / NIC / Hey, Chaz! / NIC / ...Sorry, I can't. ...Sure! Laytah! / NIC / That was Chaz. / NEWELL / I'm glad you told him we couldn't come. I can't stand going to those bars. / NIC / I said I couldn't make it, but I told him YOU'RE free... Have fun!
34. NEWELL / You can't just accpt invites for me! Maybe I had plans! You think of that? / NIC / I'm sorry. You already had plans? / NEWELL / ...No.
 
35. NIC / Come on... Will you go as a favor to me? / NEWELL / Well... / NIC / Hey, Newell... What comes after terabytes? / NEWELL / Well, there are pentabytes, then exabytes, then my personal favorite, the zettabyte! I love that we're having this discussion! / NEWELL / All right, I'll go.
36. RICK / You know, Chaz, you can tell a lot about a girl by her animal companion. / RICK / That chick over there with the lion? Maneater. / RICK / Unicorn-girl is obviously a virgin. / CHAZ / So that girl with the rabbit is probably timid? / RICK / That, or she's a prolific breeder!
37. RICK / Go talk to her, man! I'll be YOUR wingman tonight! / CHAZ / You know that I have a girlfriend, right? Still... I should take you up on this... / CHAZ / Hey - My name's Chaz! / BETHANY / I'm sorry, but have you seen my roommate? / RICK / You know what I like about you? You haven't heard any of my stories yet!
38. CHAZ / I've been duped into being the wingman again? / BETHANY / Well, can't you make the most of it somehow? / CHAZ / How can I have fun in a bar? I'm not single! / BETHANY / Hold on... Then who do you care? / CHAZ / Don't you see? It's the idea that Rick is MY wingman tonight! / BETHANY / That's some pretty circular logic. / CHAZ / Oh yeah? Well, that makes you a wingman, too!
39. BETHANY / Great. Now I'm being treated as a consolation prize. / CHAZ / Hey, it could be worse! / RICK / ...So coach put my eagle in, and he was the best tight end we had that year!
 
40. Hey! What on earth is that?!? / ? / RICK / Silly girl, that's a dartboard. It's used to play a game with sharp projectiles.
41. CHAZ / Bethany, meet Newell - He's single! / BETHANY / Wow. Just just read my mind there. / Bethany, we've got to get out of here. This crazy guy's been talking to me and he won't stop! / CHAZ / HeY, Rick may come on a little strong, but he's definitely not crazy. / NEWELL / Why are you sticking up for Rick? / CHAZ / Let's go bowling!
42. CHAZ / You're home already? I guess you don't party like I do. / CHAZ / Oh. ...Yeah? Yeah. All the way to Amsterdam? Really? / CHAZ / Yeah, I've had a pretty wild night, too... / NEWELL / Take your turn!
43. KA-THUNK! / TAP!
44. CHAZ / Okay, then. Goodnight. I love you. / CHAZ / Sorry 'bout the long phone call, guys! / CHAZ / Guys?
 
45. CHAZ / Guys! Wait up! / CHAZ / Why'd you try to leave me like that? / NEWELL / How's that different from ditching Rick? / CHAZ / And if I know Rick, he's taking it worse than I am... / RICK / And the eagle was the best tight end we had all year!
46. CHAZ / We've gotta go back for Rick! / BETHANY / First we should ditch him, now we should go get him... Should we just indulge your every caprice? / CHAZ / Finally! Someone understands me!
47. CHAZ / Rick! I'm sorry that we left you, but everyone's waiting outside! / RICK / Chaz! That's right... I cam here with you! / BETHANY / You two deserve each other! / CHAZ / That we do.
48. CHAZ / I was gonna ask you to come out with us last night, but all I got was your land line. What's your cell? / MICHAEL / Oh, I don't have one. / CHAZ / Are you serious? You're crazy! Why not? How do you get by? / CHAZ / Why... don't... you... have... a... cell... phone?! / MICHAEL / Because I enjoy these moments so.
49. HARRIET / The worse thing about being short is that no one notices you when you're angry. Like when I flipped the bird in the office photo.
 
50. HARRIET / What a lousy day... / HARRIET / Wow... I look like a waterlogged Jewish boy! / DAVID / Hey there.
51. DAVID / I saw you get splashed by that car. You okay, man? / HARRIET / No, I'm a... / HARRIET / I'm Isaac. Nice to meet you.
52. HARRIET / He asked me out! He's the sweetest, hottest guy I've talked to in forever! / BIZZY / He just thinks you're a boy. / HARRIET / Love will find a way!
53. BIZZY / How come you're so sure this guy's gay, anyway? / HARRIET / He was dressed immaculately, he smelled like potpourri, and there was a soft femininity about him. It was unmistakable. / BIZZY / So? With today's zeitgeist of metrosexuality, he could be any orientation! / HARRIET / He was walking a little dog! / BIZZY / Oh.
54. HARRIET / Where would I go to buy a yamaka? / HARRIET / ...Yamucha? Yamakuh? Jamika? / ? / HARRIET / ...yemeke. / You mean a yarmulke? / HARRIET / Yar-mulke? Really?
 
55. RICK / I need you to talk to someone for me! / CHAZ / Yeah? / RICK / See that girl on the horse? / CHAZ / Yeah? / RICK / Go talk to her friend. / CHAZ / You mean the one on the mule?
56. CHAZ / Nice mule. Where exactly are you from? / California. / CHAZ / What are you, a prospector? / Gold digger.
57. CHAZ / So, what's L.A. like? / Oh, it's a city of carrots. / CHAZ / Carrots? / There are a lot of dangling carrots out there. / And if they can't motivate you with the carrot... they motivate you with the stick! / CHAZ / How about carrot sticks? / For sure. Lots of vegans.
58. HARRIET / I have a good feeling about this date! / BIZZY / You're cross-dressing so you can date a gay man. / HARRIET / Honestly, Bizzy, you're such a reactionary! / HARRIET / I, for one, embrace experiences that flout Victorian ideals! Like going on a non-traditional date! / HARRIET / Now help me tighten this corset. I hink you can still tell I have boobs.
59. HARRIET / I'm totally pulling this outfit off! / HARRIET / This is gonna go fine! / HARRIET / Not like THAT couple.
 

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