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| 120. | CHAZ
/ Okay, time for a practical demonstration. / NIC
/ But... / NIC
/ I'm just here so I can learn to help Newell. I'm not looking to meet anyone! / CHAZ
/ A wingman's most important job is to inspire confidence! / NIC
/ I'm not talking to a girl tonight! / CHAZ
/ Oh really? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20070910.html |
| 121. | LYNN
/ Hey Jill! Wanna get a shot? / JILL
/ Yeah, okay. / CHAZ
/ FIRE!!! / CHAZ
/ You like that? That's how a wingman does crowd control. / NIC
/ But that was THE classic example of abusing freedom of speech! / JILL
/ What a coincidence! I just wrote a paper on Schenck v. United States! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20070913.html |
| 122. | LYNN
/ It's my birthday!! Wooo!!! / JILL
/ Sorry. I better go take care of Lynn. / NIC
/ I'll never see HER again. / CHAZ
/ Not so! This is where the seasoned wingman takes one for the team! / CHAZ
/ Don't worry about it. I can give your friend a ride home! / LYNN
/ Hold my hair back, sailor! / JILL
/ No need. I'm sure her boyfriend will take her home. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20070917.html |
| 123. | CHAZ
/ So, how did it go? / NIC
/ I... didn't get her number. / CHAZ
/ WHA?! / NIC
/ Well, I never found the right time to ask... / CHAZ
/ It seems I've forgotten the most important duty of the wingman! / CHAZ
/ Commiseration. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20070920.html |
| 124. | MICHAEL
/ I gave Anna my pin! / CHAZ
/ What are you, teenagers in the nineteen-fifties? / MICHAEL
/ No, I mean I gave her my ATM pin. / CHAZ
/ Whoah. You ARE serious! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20070924.html |
| 125. | NIC
/ Sorry I ruined it for you with that girl, but I'm making it up to you tonight! Now come on! / ALISON
/ ...Newell? ...Are you there? ...Hello? / ALISON
/ ...Hello? All right, see if I call YOU again! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20070927.html |
| 126. | NEWELL
/ I can't talk to her! She's kind've a valley girl, and I'm, well, a nerd! / NIC
/ Give it a shot! / NEWELL
/ Did you know that software engineers earn an average of $80,000 a year? / That's so random! / NEWELL
/ You know, we gave you that word! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071001.html |
| 127. | NEWELL
/ What do you think of the girl with the snail? / NIC
/ She's cute. / NEWELL
/ I mean, both of us have chosen slow-moving, shelled animal companions! What could be more perfect than that? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071004.html |
| 128. | NAOMI
/ It's no use... I don't think snails can spoon! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071008.html |
| 129. | NEWELL
/ I guess I let you down... / NIC
/ Don't be ridiculous! / NIC
/ I couldn't be prouder! You could've met a girl tonight who'd change your life! And why would I want that? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071011.html |
| 130. | ANNA
/ I've been thinking about this PIN number thing... / ANNA
/ I'm not READY for this kind of commitment. / MICHAEL
/ Okay. I'll just change the number. / ANNA
/ That's not it. I realized that I'm not going to be spending my life with you. / MICHAEL
/ I feel the same way! / ANNA
/ Michael, that means we really shouldn't date any more. / MICHAEL
/ Oh. Sure. / ANNA
/ I appreciate you taking this so well. / MICHAEL
/ Well, I don't wanna push you into a bad relationship. / ANNA
/ Of course, I'd like to stay friends! / MICHAEL
/ AAAHHH!!! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071015.html |
| 131 | MICHAEL
/ You sure you wanna stay friends? / ANNA
/ Of course I am. / MICHAEL
/ How about now? / ANNA
/ Yes. / MICHAEL
/ How 'bout now? / ANNA
/ Yes. / MICHAEL
/ How 'bout now? / ANNA
/ Yes. / MICHAEL
/ How 'bout now? / ANNA
/ Yes. / MICHAEL
/ How 'bout - / ANNA
/ I'm sorry, but you're the most consistent thing in my life right now. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071018.html |
| 132. | MISSY
/ Why can't you just admit you're wrong? I EXPLICITLY remember you saying you'd visit before our next anniversary. / CHAZ
/ Firstly, by definition, an anniversary happens ANNUALLY. What you're talking about it more of a monthiversary. Secondly, I think I'd remember if I promised you I'd visit! / MISSY
/ So you're right and I'm wrong. That's how it always has to be isn't it? / CHAZ
/ Of course not... sometimes we're BOTH right! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071022.html |
| 133. | CHAZ
/ I think he's recounting all his old relationships. / HARRIET
/ Um... / MICHAEL
/ Her name was Samantha, but I'll always know her as Cottage Cheese Girl... / HARRIET
/ Thrilling material, huh? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071025.html |
| 134. | MICHAEL
/ Is that high-end breath spray? / MICHAEL
/ Whoah! That's definitely her hand in my pocket! / MICHAEL
/ And she's starting to appear in soft focus! Even I know what this means! / SAMANTHA
/ I think we should just be friends. / MICHAEL
/ I give up. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071029.html |
| 135. | MICHAEL
/ That's when she said we should be friends. / HARRIET
/ But why was she called Cottage Cheese Girl?! / CHAZ
/ I'm not sure he can even hear you right now...l / MICHAEL
/ Why couldn't she just have yelled that she never wanted to see me again? Friends? Gyah! / CHAZ
/ Just how many of your exes have you ended up becoming friends with? / MICHAEL
/ I didn't want to date for a while after that, but then I met Harriet! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071101.html |
| 136. | NEWELL
/ Hey, what's up? / CHAZ
/ Michael and Harriet used to go out! / NEWELL
/ Serious? What happened? / MICHAEL
/ It was the summer of aught-five... / CHAZ
/ Did you bring a chair? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071105.html |
| 137. | MICHAEL (V.O.)
/ It was open mic night at my favorite club when a young Harriet took the stage for the first time... / off the cuff, off the handle, off the hook, off the wall, off the wagon, off the mark, off the record, off the shelf, off the scale, off stage, off the turnip truck, off the charts, off the edge... / MICHAEL
/ Hey, you were really good! / HARRIET
/ Thanks! My name's Harriet. / MICHAEL
/ Don't mind my monkey... Uh, he's just grooming me. / HARRIET
/ Ooh, you haven't lived 'til you've been groomed by a cat. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071108.html |
| 138. | MICHAEL (V.O.)
/ Almost as soon as we me, Harriet and I became inseparable. Was it the rapport we immediately established? / MICHAEL (V.O)
/ Our stimulating conversations? / MICHAEL (V.O)
/ No! It had to be the sheer comfortability that we felt around each other. / MICHAEL (V.O)
/ Unless, of course, it was because I'd used every bit of knowledge I had from the boy scouts to tie our shoelaces together... http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071112.html |
| 139. | HARRIET
/ MICHAEL! WHAT THE @#$*%?!? / MICHAEL
/ Harriet? I thought she... was you... / HARRIET
/ You can't tell us apart?!? / MICHAEL
/ Because you both have cats, not because you're Asian! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071115.html |
| 140. | MICHAEL
/ But that wasn't the worst breakup... / HARRIET
/ Give it up! / HARRIET
/ Stop PINING! / CHAZ
/ Missy? I love you. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071119.html |
| 141. | A tireless effort. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071122.html |
| 142. | The Wisdom of Travis the Tree / TRAVIS THE TREE
/ Well, kids... Today we learned how to make paper from hemp, and how to decorate a Christmas rock. Thanks for watching, and don't forget - Recycle your toothpicks! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071126.html |
| 143. | TRAVIS THE TREE
/ You know, kids, a lot of my woodland friends have been disparaging the ever-climbing rates of carbon dioxide emissions. / TRAVIS THE TREE
/ But as as plant, carbon dioxide is what I breathe. So keep those greenhouse gasses pumping! Who doesn't love a greenhouse? / TRAVIS THE TREE
/ Let's all take a hearty breath of CO2 right now. Ready? / NEWELL
/ Umm... Who exactly is the target audience for this show? / NIC
/ I don't know. BUSH supporters? http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071129.html |
| 144. | RICK
/ Hey... Check HER out! / SHAYNA
/ Come on, Grumbles! / CHAZ
/ That's a heavy bear to cross. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071203.html |
| 145. | Forget it, bub! I know what you're after! / RICK
/ The problem with women is that they assume all guys are alike. / CHAZ
/ ALL women? / RICK
/ Every last one of 'em. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071207.html |
| 146. | RICK
/ See that woman at the end of the bar? I think I'll buy her a drink. Then I'll show you how a true pickup artist operates. / Excuse me. That woman would like to buy you a drink. / RICK
/ Why is SHE buying ME a drink? Is she a tranny or something? What's wrong with her? / RICK
/ WHY?! / CHAZ
/ I guess sometimes the best defense is a good offense. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071210.html |
| 147. | Hey there, Sugar. You look like a guy who'd appreciate a classy woman. / Come back to my place and I'll tell you all about the early Sixties. / RICK
/ I think I'm gonna go for it. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071213.html |
| 148. | Wanna drink, Sugar? / RICK
/ Gee, I've never been a notch on someone's bedpost before! (heh heh heh) / Oh, those marks aren't for men. / That's how many years my husband's been in prison! http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071217.html |
| 149. | CHAZ
/ So? Did you sleep with that woman? / RICK
/ A gentleman doesn't brag, Chaz. / CHAZ
/ What happened to your pants? / RICK
/ A gentleman doesn't brag. http://wingmen.comicgenesis.com/d/20071220.html |
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