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|(Prologue) Toad In The Hole - Page 1||Welcome, dear reader, to the kingdom of Depravia. A land where men are men, life is vicious, and rest-stops are ill-advised... / Your Princess COMMANDS you! / It's hardly a matter of station, ma'am... it's too much of a r- / BALLS TO RISK! I'm about twenty seconds from wetting my kecks! / Stop this coach this instant! Unless you'd rather I let rip right here. / You could have spared one the more, erm, vivid details, m'lady... / All right then, but at least have the guards accompany you. / Thanks, you big softie! / Yes, quite... / Come on your grunts, pee patrol! Hup to it! / Don't just stand there dawdling, jog along, chop chop!|
|(Prologue) Toad In The Hole - Page 2||Hm, this seems like as good a spot as any. / Avert your pervy eyes! Daddy told me about soldier boys like you. / Ahh.. / "Join the guard, see it all!" they said. "Be your own man, in a life of adventure!" / They must've left out the bit about hand-holding precocious little piss-pots. / Careful, Trev. That loose tongue of yours might get us into trouble!|
|(Prologue) Toad In The Hole - Page 3||If the King heard what you just said there now, he'd have your bolYEARGH! / He'd have my WHAT? What are you talkin' about, Reg? / Reg, hello? What the f- / Oh. / Bollocks. / What ARE they playing at back there? / Arg! / Psh, so hard to find good help these days.|
|(Prologue) Toad In The Hole - Page 4||EEK! A monster! / BLEARRGH! / Argh! / Oh no! My flimsy top! / Ack! It's so big!|
|(Prologue) Toad In The Hole - Page 5||Urgh. / I'll thank you to take your slimy member out of my princess. / Before things go BADLY for you. / Taste STEEL, vile beast! / BLARGHH! / Bother.|
|(Prologue) Toad In The Hole - Page 6||Meanwhile, not far away... / You know pal, all things being equal... / ...I can't help feeling our trip would've passed a lot faster if you hadn't sold our steeds for that BISCUIT. / That may be, but I think you're forgetting this is the VENUS BOURBON. / THE most potent chocolately aphrodisiac known to man! / And I think you're forgetting that it's JUST A FUCKING BISCUIT! / Ah, well. / Just relax and ejoy the rural splendour. Lush trees, clear sky, clean air... / ...amphibious rapists...|
|(Prologue) Toad In The Hole - Page 7||Aren't you going to leap into the fray, save the day and all that? / Nah, that's a mug's game. Just end up gettin' myself killed. / Do I look like a complete idiot to you? / I think that toad's eyeing up your bourbon. / DIE, BISCUIT WHORE! / HEY! Careful! / Knackers! / You like to hope, big lad? / Well, fuckin' HOP THIS!|
|(Prologue) Toad In The Hole - Page 8||Nice Throw. / Looks like he should've TOAD the line. / Stop it. / The bugger's CROAKED it. / you're embarrassing yourself. / You know what they say - here today, SPAWN tomorrow. / That doesn't even make any sense.|
|(Prologue) Toad In The Hole - Page 9||Time to uncover the identity of our distressed damsel, I think. / My word. / You've SAVED her! / You dropped this, m'lady. / Ah. Useful at last, I see. / Gods, it's HER. / Yes, it is I, princess CHASTITY of Depravia! Witness my proud standing, even with one's bosoms abreeze. / That effeminate oaf over there is my aide, Marvolo. / So, are you heroic plebs going to stand there ogling, or ask for your REWARD. / Apologies, m'lady. I am doctor VICTOR FLEISCHER, and this burly reprobate is Mr. BORIS MCLEOD. / As for reward, passage to the capital would suffice, if you'd be so kind. / So, who's the idiot now then, eh? / Still you, friend. / BAH! If it weren't for that biscuit, we'd never had landed such a cozy little number. / Truly, it works in mysterious ways. / Shut up.|
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