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| Real Life comic strip from November / 11 / 2004 | [[Living Room]] / Video Game Controller: / Liz: / Greg: Yo, this is a fly-ass game, right here. / / [[Living Room]] / Video Game Controller: / Liz: / Greg: Earlier, I was chillin' wit my homies, an' we went to get grub... / / [[Living Room]] / Video Game Controller: / Liz: / Greg: ...An' these punk-ass ballas roll up and get all up in our faces, so we laid those punks out right 'dere on da street. Word. / / [[Living Room]] / Video Game Controller: / Liz: You hear that sound? That's the sound of our ONE black reader leaving because of you. Well done. / Greg: Yo, yo, I'm just keepin' it real, G! Represent! / Footnote: (A tiny bit of backstory... When we did that little demographic survey a while back, I was surprised to find out that the absolute smallest group of people who read the comic is black people. I have more ESKIMOS reading the comic than brothas. It would seem that I am not, in fact, keeping it real enough. / Correction: Either eliminate the unnecessary opening parenthesis or add a closing parenthesis. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/041111.html |
| Real Life comic strip from January / 12 / 2005 | [[Bedroom (Greg's)]] / Greg: How do I look for dinner? / Liz: You look sexy, sweetie! / / [[Bedroom (Greg's)]] / Greg: Well, like, if you had to gauge the sexyness based on a famous person, what would it be? / Liz: Ummm... George Clooney sexy. / / [[Bedroom (Greg's)]] / Liz: / Greg: C'mon now... If you don't want to put any thought into it, just say Tom Cruise and be done with it. / / [[Bedroom (Greg's)]] / Liz: Fine, you're Topher Grace sexy, then. / Greg: George Clooney sexy it is! http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050112.html |
| Real Life comic strip from January / 13 / 2005 | [[Dining Table]] / Dinner Plates: / Candle: / Greg: How was your meal? / Liz: It was excellent! You've really outdone yourself tonight, sweetheart. / / [[Dining Table]] / Dinner Plates: / Candle: / Greg: Whew- I'm Glad you think so. See, I kind of have a favor I need to ask of you. / Liz: Ah, I see now. I should have known. / / [[Dining Table]] / Dinner Plates: / Candle: / Greg: No, No... It's nothing bad or anything. It's really just more of a question to ask you. / Liz: Er, okay. What is it? / / [[Dining Table]] / Dinner Plates: / Candle: / Liz: / Greg: Will you marry me? http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050113.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 03 / 2005 | [[Office (Airport)]] / Greg: Man, life is good. Ever since we got the self-serve fueling, I haven't had a single pilot in here bugging me! / / [[Office (Airport)]] / Greg: / / [[Office (Airport)]] / Greg: / / [[Office (Airport)]] / Telephone: / Greg: Hey Frank? Tell me a story. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050803.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 08 / 2005 | [[Office]] / Liz: Have you seen my tape adapter anywhere? I need to dive to Tracy tomorrow, and I want to run my iPod in the car. / Greg: Hmmm... / / [[Office]] / Greg: Last time I saw it was in the back of my car. / Liz: Okay, then. I'm gonna run to Radio Shack. / / [[Office]] / Greg: What for? / Liz: A new tape adapter. What else? / Greg: But I just told you where yours was! / / [[Office]] / Liz: "In the back of your car" is not a place. It's a general location, like "on earth". It doesn't help much. / Greg: Um, I think it was on the floor. / Liz: Okay, "North America" then. Still not helpful. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050808.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 09 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / Greg: Dammit, I KNOW that adapter is in here somewhere. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / Greg: / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / Greg: What the hell? / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / Greg: http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050809.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 10 / 2005 | [[Tony's Workshop]] / Greg: Hey Tony, do you mind if I borrow some equipment? / Tony: Depends. What do you need? / / [[Tony's Workshop]] / Greg: Some long rope, carabiners... You know, that kind of thing. Nothing high-tech. / Tony: Oh, sure. It's in the cabinet on the back wall. / / [[Tony's Workshop]] / Tony: What do you need all that stuff for, anyway? / Greg: I'm...uh...cleaning out my car. / Tony: Oh, okay. Gotcha / / [[Tony's Workshop]] / Tony: Wait - WHAT? http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050810.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 11 / 2005 | [[Outside]] / Volvo: / Rope: / Harness: / Greg: / / [[Outside]] / Volvo: / Rope: / Harness: / Greg: / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / Rope: / Harness: / Greg: / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Rope: / Harness: / Greg: Well. This is new. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050811.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 12 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Harness: / Rope: / Greg: I know I'm forgetful, but I sure as hell don't remember losing a complete underground kingdom in my back seat. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Harness: / Rope: / Greg: Though, the classified ad DID say it was "roomy". / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Harness: / Rope: / Greg: / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Harness: / Rope: / Greg: Hmm... I probably should have learned how to rock climb before descending into a cavern with no other discernable way out. Oh well. / Correction: Hmm... I probably should have learned how to rock climb before descending into a cavern with no other discernible way out. Oh well. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050812.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 15 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Harness: / Rope: / Greg: Holy crap! It's an entire land made up of things I've lost in my car! / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Harness: / Rope: / Greg: Not just in my car, either! There's stuff here I lost when I was a little kid! / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: Old Nintendo games, homework that never got turned in, G.I Joes, my Rainbow Brite dolls- / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: Uh, I mean...my Rainbow Brite ACTION FIGURES. She totally has karate-chop action. Yep. Totally. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050815.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 16 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: Damn. The tape adapter's not in this stuff... I wonder where it got off to? It's not like there's anyone down here to take it. / Jim Morrison: Not true, man. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: What the-?! Are... Are you Jim Morrison? / Jim Morrison: I've seen the adapter of which you speak, brother. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: What are you doing in the backseat of my car?! / Jim Morrison: It was taken to a land in the east. I will lead you to it. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: Wait - didn't you die, like, 30 years ago?! / Jim Morrison: Man, quit bein' such a buzzkill. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050816.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 17 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: So, what are you doing down here, anyway? / Jim Morrison: Searching for our new SOUND, man. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: Your new sound? / Jim Morrison: Yeah, man. It's all about change, keep it fresh. Stay one step ahead of the game we all play, brother. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: / Jim Morrison: And in my time down in this cave of lost innocence, it came to me. An epiphany. Instead of just one singer, ALL of us should sing, man. All four of us, maybe even a fifth guy. And we'll record the music ahead of time, so we can dance to it, man. Really put on a show. We'll even get a bass player. It'll be revolutionary. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: ...You want to make The Doors into a BOY BAND. / Jim Morrison: Hey, that has a good ring to it. "Boy band." I like that, man. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050817.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 18 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: So, it's nice and all that you're looking to change your music and all that, but you still haven't explained why you chose to do your soul-searching in the back seat of my car. / Jim Morrison: It's not just your CAR, man. Open your mind. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Jim Morrison: Things get lost, man. But they can't just dissappear, right? So the universe just drops 'em here. It's less for the cosmos to worry about that way. This isn't just your backseat, man, this place goes ON. This is just one of a thousand places like it I've been to over the years, man. And I'm betting there's more. / Correction: disappear / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Jim Morrison: / Greg: Holy crap - if that's true, this is like some sort of cosmic scratch disk! Instead of keeping track of a lot of useless information, whatever powers-that-be just toss the excess here! That explains why so much stuff gets lost, seemingly forever. If something is unobserved long enough, it's assumed to be safe for removal. This is Schrodinger's trashcan! / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Jim Morrison: Man, I didn't understand a word you just said. / Greg: I just re-hashed everything you told me, and somehow managed to make it infinitely more complex and unnintelligible than it needed to be. / Correction: unintelligible / Jim Morrison: Far out, man. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050818.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 19 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: What's with the cave? Is the tape adapter in here? / Jim Morrison: Nah, man... I know a few guys who can help us out. They hang out in here. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Playing cards: / Poker chips: / Greg: / Jim Morrison: / Jimi Hendrix: / Jimmy Hoffa: DAMMIT, PRESLEY! FOUR aces?! No way you got dealt that, you cheatin' sonofabitch! / Elvis Presley: Hey now baby, just calm on down. Now you know you were dealin' them cards, Jimmy. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Poker chips: / Playing cards: / Jimmy Hoffa: / Elvis Presley: / Jimi Hendrix: Yeah, man. Just be cool, Hoffa. It's a friendly game, dig? / Tupac: For real, dog. Just 'cause you losin', don't got to be like that. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: One of the two of us is on drugs, and until this moment, I was pretty sure it was you. / Jim Morrison: I'm still pretty sure it's me, man http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050819.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 22 / 2005 | [[Back Drop]] / Maple leaf: / Greg (Artist): Due to unforeseen convention-related activities (Greg been busy), we will be picking up the storyline already in progress on Wednesday. Today, however, considering I just got back to the hotel room and it's MIDNIGHT, we will be presenting... / Title: Canada-Land Observation (eh?) / Greg: So, okay. First off, you use the metric system. Yes, it makes more logical sense, I get that. But seeing a speed limit sign in a semi-residential district with the number 80 on it freaks me right the hell out. Your money just flat out looks fake. Pretty, but fake. I half expect to see rich uncle Pennybags on one side of it. Maybe a thimble or shoe or something. Say whatever you want, it's pronounced "zee", not "zed". Sing the alphabet song, and put "zed" in there. It sounds wrong, therefore, it IS wrong. Your beer is damned tasty. Your burgers, on the other hand, not so much. Come to Sacramento, I'll show you what a real burger tastes like. However, for as crazy as your country is, I have found something that makes up for it all... Your Pepsi has SUGAR in it. ACTUAL SUGAR. I've already filed the appropriate immigration papers. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050822.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 23 / 2005 | [[Convention (Anime Evolution, Panel Room)]] / Greg: I'd like to thank you all for making it out to my Q&A panel thingy. These are my favorite part of any convention. / / [[Convention (Anime Evolution, Panel Room)]] / Greg: This is crazy, though... I've never given one of these in a full-blown university lecture room before. There's so many toys down here! / / [[Convention (Anime Evolution, Panel Room)]] / Greg: Holy crap - They even have an overhead projector! With markers and everything! / / [[Convention (Anime Evolution, Panel Room)]] / Unknown Character: Um, when do we get to ask questions? / Greg: Quiet. I'm doodling. Very important. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050823.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 24 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Poker chips: / Greg: / Jim Morrison: Hey, guys. This is a fellow cosmic traveller, man. He's in need of our help. / Correction: Hey, guys. This is a fellow cosmic traveler, man. He's in need of our help. / Jimmy Hoffa: Make it quick, kid. We're kind of busy here, see? / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Poker chips: / Jim Morrison: / Jimmy Hoffa: / Greg: I'm looking for a tape adapter I lost in my car, which wound up down here. Jim says you guys could help me find it. / Jimi Hendrix: What's wrong with your tape, brotha? It ain't stickin' or somethin'? / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Poker chips: / Jimmy Hoffa: / Elvis Presley: Naw, baby. I heard a' them things. Cassette bo-jiggers, right? Wave a' the future, all that jazz. / Tupac: Future nothin', E. 'Day went out a' style YEARS ago, dog. All CD's, now. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Poker chips: / Jim Morrison: / Jimmy Hoffa: Tupac, we're talking about music here, not investments. Try to keep up. / Greg: Yep. This is VERY helpful. Good thing we came here. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050824.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 25 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Poker chips: / Greg: / Jimmy Hoffa: / Jim Morrison: Nah, man. The tape adapter is that little grey thing - looks like a rectangle with two holes in it, cord coming out of one end. / Jimi Hendrix: Ohhh... THAT thing. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Poker chips: / Jim Morrison: / Jimmy Hoffa: You may as well just forget about it, hombre. Last I heard, most of that stuff got picked up by "The Tribe." / Greg: Whoah, hold up - "The Tribe"?! The hell is that?! / Correction: Whoa / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Poker chips: / Jimmy Hoffa: / Elvis Presley: Buncha crazy little buggers, baby. Not quite right in the head. You might'is well just fo-gedda 'bout it, baby. Uh huh. / Tupac: Wait, hold up, E. 'Dis dog look FAMILIAR to you? / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Poker chips: / Jimmy Hoffa: / Jimi Hendrix: / Jim Morrison: Wow, man... I didn't even notice it till now. This is gonna be easier than I thought, man. / Greg: Is that supposed to reassure me? 'Cause the way you say it, it sounds kinda ominous. I'm just sayin'. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050825.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 26 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: Okay, so what's the deal with this "tribe", anyway? / Jim Morrison: Near as we can tell, man, they're indiginous. Or at least, they've been here a long, long time, man. / Correction: indigenous / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: / Jim Morrison: Anyway, for the longest time, they would more or less just hang out, be cool, that sort of thing. We didn't bug them, and they didn't bug us, you dig? But then last year, a box of books fell out of the sky and landed right in the middle of the tribe's villiage. They treated it like it was their BIBLE, man. / Correction: village / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Jim Morrison: Ever since then, they've been more or less living according to that book. They've been roaming around and collecting stuff, claiming it as holy relics. / Greg: And that book is...? / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: / Jim Morrison: I think you can guess, man. / Tribe member: Our god has come down to us! Hail to the Greg! http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050826.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 29 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Tribe member: You must meet with the tribe's elder priest! / Greg: Works for me. Maybe he can give me my damn adapter so I can get out of here. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: Hey gramps. Nice shirt. / Tribe member: *GASP* You have come down and made yourself manifest! I am not worthy! / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Greg: Fine. Whatever. Look, you have some stuff that belongs to me, and I'd really like it back. / Tribe member: Your wish is my command, Holy One. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Cassette adapter: / Greg: I want THAT. / Tribe member: B-But we use the holy cassette in our ceremonies! It's essential to our FAITH! / Greg: HEY. HEY. Who's god here, me or you? http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050829.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 30 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Tribe member: Our true god would not so callously ask us to give up our beliefs. The one true Greg sent down these relics for us - Why would he ask for them back? / Greg: Dude, old guy, are you dense? I AM the "True Greg". It's ME. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Tribe member: Prove it. Or face the consequences as an impostor and blasphemer. / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Tribe member: / < http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050830.html |
| Real Life comic strip from August / 31 / 2005 | [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Cassette adapter: / Greg: / Tribe member: KILL THE IMPOSTOR! / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Cassette adapter: / Jim Morrison: / Greg: SorryJimgottarunthanksagainforallyourhelpfindingmyadaptergoodluckwiththebandtakeiteasy! / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Jim Morrison: *BLINK* / / [[Car (Volvo)]] / [[Cave]] / Jim Morrison: Man, this is a KILLER buzz. I have GOT to start remembering what I take. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050831.html |
| Real Life comic strip from September / 01 / 2005 | [[Office]] / Cassette adapter: / Liz: / Greg: I...*HUFF*...found...*PUFF*...the tape...*WHEEZE*...adapter. / / [[Office]] / Cassette adapter: / Greg: *WHEEZE* / Liz: Aww, that's so sweet! You went out and dug through your car to find that for me? / / [[Office]] / Cassette adapter: / Greg: / Liz: But I actually just got back from Radio Shack - They had 'em for like, 10 bucks. Thank you, though! I appreciate the thought. / / [[Office]] / Cassette adapter: / Greg: / Liz: http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050901.html |
| Real Life comic strip from September / 02 / 2005 | [[Outside]] / Volvo: / / [[Outside]] / Volvo: / Sign: / Greg: / / [[Outside]] / Volvo: / Sign: / Greg: / / [[Outside]] / Volvo: / Sign: FOR SALE - CHEAP! - Spacious interior http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050902.html |
| Real Life comic strip from October / 20 / 2005 | [[Outside]] / Fence: / Greg: You know the one thing I miss most about the '80s? / Liz: Underoos? / Greg: No, but they're a close second. / / [[Outside]] / Fence: / Liz: / Greg: The architecture. Interiors, mostly. Dark brown and woodgrain everywhere, orange countertops, all that jazz. / Greg: Accent walls made out of that rough flagstone crap. It had character. Now, most buildings just have plain white walls. It's sad. / / [[Outside]] / Fence: / Greg: / Liz: Well, think about it. White has always been the color of the future. Look at "2001". All the interiors of the spaceships and whatnot were some form of white. / Liz: Maybe it's all an attempt by people to move into the future they saw in the movies. / / [[Outside]] / Fence: / Greg: Man, Kubrick was a dick. / Liz: Not exactly what I thought you'd take away from that, but okay, sure. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/051020.html |
| Real Life comic strip from November / 11 / 2005 | Text: Dear LORD I am stupid. / Not until I got up this morning and started taking a shower did I realize that it was, in fact, Friday, and that I hadn't thought to do a comic for today. / This whole move thing is really throwing me off. This is the first time I've moved out of this area, so my mind is contantly preoccupied with things not to forget, things to pack, things to store, all that sort of thing. And then there's looking around and seeing how much more I still have to get packed. TONIGHT. Everything needs to be in boxes, prepped, or disassembled...BY TONIGHT. No exceptions. / So, let me apologize for the update schedule this week. It's going to even out, I swear. Next week I start my new job, and the week after, I have a break. I'll get my act together, I promise. / Right now, however, I have way more stuff to put in boxes than I know what to do with, and a trash can outside that's already full, despite just being emptied yesterday. Oi. / Bear with me, folks. It'll get better. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/051111.html |
| Real Life comic strip from January / 30 / 2006 | [[Studio ]] / [[Front Door]] / Greg: Hey Liz, I'm headed out to my orientation! I'll be back in a few hours, okay? / Liz: Wait, hang on a sec! / / [[Studio ]] / [[Front Door]] / Liz: Okay, I'm ready. Let's go. / Greg: Wait. What? No, Liz, this is my SCHOOL ORIENTATION. It's not really a two-person job. / / [[Studio ]] / [[Front Door]] / Liz: / Greg: Besides, everyone else there is going to be by themselves... I'll look like a total dork! / / [[Studio ]] / [[Front Door]] / Liz: It's cute that you think you're making a point. Really, it is. / Greg: One of these days, I'm going to win an argument. / Greg: That day will be GLORIOUS. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/060130.html |
| Real Life comic strip from April / 10 / 2006 | [[Beach]] / Kite: / Greg: / Unknown Character (F): Could you take your kite down the beach a ways? I've got my kids here... What if it came down and hit them in the head? / / [[Beach]] / Kite: / Greg: Lady, the wind is blowing AWAY from you. / Unknown Character (F): Look, I don't want to debate with you. I just want my kids to be safe. / / [[Beach]] / Kite: / Greg: My point is that if they want to STAY safe, the best possible think they could do is stay BEHIND me WHERE THEY ARE. / Unknown Character (F): Hey, we were here first. I have a right to protect my kids. / / [[Beach]] / Kite: / Greg: Lady, if the apple has fallen as close to the tree as I think it has, a blow to the head would affect them very little. / Unknown Character (F): What do you mean? I don't understand. / Greg: I didn't expect you to. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/060410.html |
| Real Life comic strip from May / 08 / 2006: Monday | [[Living Room]] / Couch: / Coffee Table: / Title: After Watching "The Island"... / Greg: It's odd...I feel incredibly torn on how I feel about that movie. / Liz: How so? / / [[Living Room]] / Couch: / Coffee Table: / Liz: / Greg: On the one hand, I enjoyed the story and the effects and all that immensely. It was awesome. On the other hand, I haven't seen that much product placement since "Demolition Man". / / [[Living Room]] / Couch: / Coffee Table: / Greg: / Liz: It's just what these "not-too-distant-future" sci-fi movies like to do. They think it puts the audience at ease by seeing familiar names and products. / / [[Living Room]] / Couch: / Coffee Table: / Liz: / Greg: If I'm ever in the future, and the information directory says "MSN Search" on it, I'm not going to be at ease. I'm going to be screaming my lungs out and shooting at people from a bell tower with a high-powered rifle. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/060508.html |
| Real Life comic strip from May / 25 / 2006: Thursday | [[Rooftop]] / Shuttle: / / [[Rooftop]] / Shuttle: / Luggage: / Greg: Oh, good lord. It figures. / Liz: What? / / [[Rooftop]] / Shuttle: / Luggage: / Liz: / Greg: This shuttle... It's designed exactly like the Puddle Jumpers from Stargate Atlantis. It's identical. / / [[Rooftop]] / Shuttle: / Luggage: / Greg: Sometimes, I swear that man has no creativity whatsoever. / Liz: Who... Tony or the cartoonist? / Greg: Yes. http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/060525.html |