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| AGC #442 | Davros: Okay, the large drunk guy is charging Tetsujin. Since it's really between those two, I'm giving everyone else a -5 penalty to initiative in the first round. If you're really quick, you still have a chance to impress everyone by reacting first.
/ Jill: That's not how things work!
/ Davros: Well I don't think the situation warrants a surprise round, and I'm confident you can handle this guy. It's mainly for dramatic effect.
/ Joe: Interesting ruling. It's good to have your own GM style.
/ Jill: It's better to have rules.
/ Dan: Whatever, bring it! / [Four rolls later...]
/ Davros: So the drunkard does indeed get first action, and uses it to charge Tetsujin with a bar stool.
/ Jill: Only because of the stupid minus-five...
/ Davros: And he gets lucky and hits! You take 4 bludgeoning damage, minus two for your DR.
/ Dan: Ha! Next time bring an adamantine bar stool, punk!
/ Davros: Well, you're up, Dan.
/ Joe Jill and Davros[thought]: Here's where Dan burns down the bar and virtually wrecks the campaign. / Dan: "YOU HAVE MADE AN ERROR!"
/ Joe: Dan, before you go and...
/ Dan: I make a trip attack with my morningstar! Does AC 13 hit?
/ Davros: Well, since tripping is a touch attack, that hits easily.
/ Dan: Let's see, what the hell is it again... strength bonus, +4 for Improved Trip... I get 17 on my check thingy.
/ Davros: Yep, he goes down hard.
/ Jill: What the Hell?
/ Joe: Hmm. / Dan: Sweet! I get a free attack. And the +4 cause he's prone cancels out the -4 for smashing him non-lethally. Take 11 subdual-or-whatever. Then I can bite and slam him for normal damage and he shouldn't die.
/ Jill: Wait, so the bar's still there?
/ Joe: That was effective and proportionate...
/ Dan: If we burn down the building, I'm pretty sure we don't get paid. Besides, we need this barkeep's help to nail Quark! "I AM TETSUJIN!"
/ Davros: Who are you, and what have you done with Dan?
/ Jill: Don't ask, we're better off. http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=442 |
| AGC #443 | Davros: Tetsujin took down that idiot with Batman-like deftness. However, it looks like he had a bunch of friends near the bar.
/ Dan: Any adamantine bar stools?
/ Joe: Doubtful.
/ Dan: Then bring it!
/ Davros: You think seven or eight more guys are looking to start something, but it's getting harder and harder to tell. The action was so fast that most customers didn't even see it, but the crowd is gathering now to see if anything else is going to happen.
/ Jill: Well before you penalize our initiative any more, Obfuscator calls out: / (B)
/ Jill: "THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE. KEEP BACK AT LEAST TWENTY PACES FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY."
/ Davros: We're actually keeping your initiative rolls, and lifting the -5 from the first round. But your warning does help in that most people do back off at least a step, causing the eight aggressive ones to stand out like sore thumbs. They're still angrier about their friend than they are scared of you three, and they are drawing shortswords.
/ Joe: I stand by Tetsujin's original comment; these guys have made an error.
/ Jill: No-one can say I didn't warn them...
/ Dan: I stand by ALL Tetsujin's comments. They come with a manufacturer's warranty. / Jill: I cast Stinking Cloud, centered between us and the thugs. I'll try to hit fewer bystanders where possible, but I do want it to extend a ways behind us and also behind them.
/ Dan: Ha! Now Jill's the one causing civilian casualties? My how the tables have turned...
/ Jill: Not casualties you idiot. The spell doesn't cause any real damage; bystanders who didn't heed my warning and get caught will just be nauseated for a minute or so, with no lasting effects.
/ Davros: Well, some bystanders are definitely dropped by the Stinking Cloud. The rest are clearing out in a hurry.
/ Joe: That ought to make us popular.
/ Jill: Quiet, you... / [One round later...]
/ Davros: Alright, this round the remaining two failed their saves, so all of them are nauseated. Technically they don't count as defenseless, but there's no point in rolling anymore: Tremor and Tetsujin can bind them all in a couple rounds.
/ Joe: Rack'em and stack'em.
/ Jill: Then I dismiss my cloud.
/ Davros: Some of the many people watching begin to cheer. "Did you see that?" "Tetsujin and the big one took 'em all down in seconds flat!"
/ Joe: We are pretty awesome.
/ Jill: Hey! It's MY goddamned spell!
/ Dan: "I AM TETSUJIN"
/ Davros: We know, Dan. We know... http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=443 |
| AGC #444 | Joe: With all vision blocked by your Stinking Cloud, it's not surprising the onlookers might be confused when you dismissed it and they just saw Dan's character and mine standing over all those tied-up troublemakers.
/ Jill: But "Tetsujin and the big one"? They didn't even mention me! I'm the one who totally disabled the enemy before they could even attack.
/ Joe: True, you are the linchpin of our strategy...
/ Jill: Damn straight!
/ Joe: But once you unload a successful lockdown spell, you don't tend to do much while the melee-bots fight.
/ Dan: That's why they have Rock'em Sock'em robots. Not Choke'em Smoke'em robots.
/ Jill: I'm also our freakin' HEALER! / Jill: ARE YOU SAYING I DON'T DO ANYTHING?
/ Joe: Not at all!
/ Dan: Absolutely not!
/ Joe: You flip a binary switch that turns off most of our enemies.
/ Dan: You make the victory cloud.
/ Joe: I'm just saying that the only reason Davros didn't make us roll dice afterwards for that fight is that Tremor and Tetsujin are so effective that he knew we could finish them... even if they were much tougher and more organized than they appeared...
/ Davros: What an odd thing to say.
/ Jill: Those guys were crap! / Jill: I'll have you know that it takes a lot of work to ensure that I have the spells to massively disable all manner of opponents. Joe, you of all people should know that these first battles only made it look easy!
/ Joe: Oh, I know.
/ Davros: Oh, Joe knows.
/ Jill: The fact is my character is a machine!
/ Dan: We're all machines. We're warforged.
/ Jill: I KNOW THAT!
/ Dan: Actually, you're kindof like a fog machine...
/ Davros: Okay, okay... / Davros: Come on guys, all your characters make an important contribution to your party. Nobody's debating that...
/ Jill: But...
/ Davros: Because the cloud obscures vision NPCs, particularly non-combat types, can only see what's there when it's over, which in this case was the big burly guy and the one with the dragon-shaped head standing over the enemies.
/ Joe: It's only our second day. We'll all get their respect in time as we keep kicking ass.
/ Davros: And really, there's only one reason that some of them already know Dan's character by name...
/ Dan: "I AM TETSUJIN!"
/ Jill: Dammit, you're right... http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=444 |
| AGC #445 | [Sixteen hours in-game time and one hour of real time later...]
/ Joe: I think that went pretty well for our first patrol of the whole building.
/ Jill: Yeah, not bad. Would have been better if Dan's guy hadn't practically given the woman a heart attack.
/ Dan: I heard a woman screaming! We're supposed to protect people, right? How was I supposed to know they were just having sex?
/ Joe: I don't think anybody is faulting your decision to act, I just think it would have been better if you'd called out for assistance so that one of your more 'normal' looking comrades could have gone in first.
/ Dan: It seemed like an emergency! / Dan: Plus, you guys look like robot killing machines too, I fail to see the difference.
/ Jill: Obfuscator, with his robes and non-negative diplomacy score, looks about as non-threatening as a warforged can.
/ Joe: Yes, your non-negative integer diplomacy bonus. I mean, it isn't a positive integer, but at least it's a whole number.
/ Dan: Are you making some kind of math joke?
/ Joe: There's at least a 70% chance.
/ Dan: Math jokes suck. / [[The background is a piece of lined paper, with simple a sketch or a warforged face, and an even simpler sketch of a dragon-head]]
/ Joe: The thing is, Dan, there's a certain way that warforged faces look, and they are pretty common in this city. Tetsujin, on the other hand, has his custom dragon-head, which makes him appear much less normal and more... monstrous.
/ Jill: Out of curiosity Dan, since our team has been together for some time, and we would presumably know this... how did Tetsujin get that face?
/ Dang: That's a good question. Were you part of some weird production run at the Forge, or did you choose to have your head modified after the war?
/ Dan: Tetsujin totally got his head rebuilt when he became a Dragon Shaman. Dragons give me power!
/ [There's a knock at the door]
/ Jill: Hold on, someone's at the damn door... / [[At the door, Jill looks displeased as she greets an old lady]]
/ Jill: I'll see who it... Winnifred!
/ Winnifred: Hello, Jill. I just thought I'd drop in and see how are you doing today?
/ Jill: I'm busy! I have friends over.
/ Winnifred: Is it those boys again? Isn't it unseemly for a woman of your age to...
/ Jill: It can be unseemly for a woman of YOUR age, a woman of MY age can do whatever the hell she wants! Don't you have a Bridge Club meeting or something to go to...
/ Winnifred: Why yes, in fact, I wanted to tell you that you are still invited. We'd love to see the newest pictures of your grandchildren.
/ Jill: Why don't I just mail you an iPhone so I can email you the pictures like a normal person? http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=445 |
| AGC #446 | Dan: So, Jill, how are your grandkids?
/ Jill: They are very well, thank you for asking. Also, shut up!
/ Davros: I assume you aren't abandoning us for bridge night then?
/ Jill: Oh hell no, I can't stand sitting around with all those old ladies. I swear, somehow when you get grandchildren, you get sucked into this cult of ancient lifesapping vampires who assume you are automatically their friend now, and that you have no greater ambition than to sit around and reflect on a life that is inexplicably over.
/ Davros: Deep... / Joe: So, out of curiosity... what did Winnifred mean when she said "women of your age".
/ Jill: She meant that I would brutally murder anyone who made cracks about the Pleistocene, Jurassic, Cretaceous, or any other geological Ages.
/ Dan: What about Neolithic and Mesolithic? Those are ages of human prehistory not directly tied to the geological record. / [[Jill affixes Dan with her death-stare]] / Joe: You know the First Rule of Bridge Club?
/ Dan: Don't talk about Bridge Club?
/ Joe: And the Second Rule of Bridge Club?
/ Dan: Don't talk about Bridge Club?
/ Joe: And the Third Rule of Bridge Club?
/ Dan: You have to follow suit?
/ Jill: You guys may think you're doing a movie parody, but in a few seconds it's going to stop being a parody.
/ Dan: We'll be good! / Dan: Anyhow, let's get back to killing stuff.
/ Davros: We should probably get back to the game.
/ Dan: Ya... while we're young!
/ Jill: That barfight was really weak... we need some serious opponents. It's high time we start investigating!
/ Dan: What? But I want to kick some ass!
/ Jill: If we advance the plot, that's how we'll find enemies with better loot. Or I could just kick your ass back to the stone-age for making fun of my age.
/ Dan: Investigate it is! http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=446 |
| AGC #447 | Jill: Alright, we'll head next door to the main security office and ask Cadric if they have a file on this Voslo.
/ Davros: [Cadric] "Never heard of him, but I'll have a clerk look him up. What'd he do?"
/ Jill: [Obfuscator] "PERHAPS NOTHING, BUT THERE ARE RUMOURS OF A PLOT AGAINST A 'MEDIATOR' AT THE UPCOMING CONFERENCE."
/ Davros: [Cadric] "You mean Delilah Rootwhisper? Very few people even know she's coming - I'm surprised they even told you."
/ Joe: [Tremor] "THEY DID NOT. HOW ARE WE TO PREPARE FOR TROUBLE WHEN WE ARE NOT IN THE LOOP?"
/ Davros: [Cadric] "Sorry fellas - wasn't my idea. But since you know now, they can't expect me to withhold details..." / Davros: Cadric leans closer, looking around to make sure no other security staff are in earshot: "Rootwhisper is one of them Night Hags. She serves as a sort of neutral emissary between Eberron and... well, other places, if that makes any sense."
/ Jill: [Obfuscator] "OTHER PLANES OF EXISTENCE."
/ Davros: [Cadric] "I don't really understand it myself, but it's mighty important to th'elves and Riedrans, and the Wizards College dignitaries coming here for the conference.
/ Joe: But who in their right mind would want to kill her? In this setting, time with a Night Hag is tremendously valuable.
/ Dan: Ewwwwwwww...
/ Joe: Not THAT kind of time with her. / Davros: The clerk comes back: "Cadric... Cadric... Cadric..." Cadric's like: "What did you find on Voslo?" The clerk shakes his head vigorously though: "Nothing, we have nothing on Voslo. But somebody's robbing Vincent's Arms!"
/ Dan: They're stealing some guy's arms?
/ Joe: I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Vincent's is a weaponsmith of some sort.
/ Davros: Cadric's already heading for the door: "It's on the second level of the Concourse, hurry!
/ Jill: [Obfuscator] "ON OUR WAY"
/ Dan: [Tetsujin] "ANYONE STEALS MY ARMS I'LL KICK THEIR ASS!" / Davros: When your lift reaches the Concourse, there are tons of people standing in little clusters around the large space...
/ Jill: First, before we get there I'm casting Detect Thoughts and maintaining it. Then I'm scanning the crowd for information on the thieves.
/ Davros: Well, I'm sure you are well practiced at skimming over thought-spam, but there's still a lot of people and a lot of useless thoughts. As you guys arrive thhough, a lot of them notice you: "The Justicars are here!" "It's them damned warforged!" "Wow, there's Tetsujin... and the Stinky One!"
/ Jill: The STINKY ONE?
/ Dan: I think they mean you. http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=447 |
| AGC #448 | Jill: STINKY?
/ Davros: I'm sorry, but you guys haven't been around too long, and if the people in the building remember you it's from your recent barfight, where you hit some of them wih your Stinking Cloud spell.
/ Jill: I'm not sure how long I can take being insulted by NPCs who all think of Dan's freak character by his proper name.
/ Joe: That's only because of Tetsujin's borderline Tourette's Syndrome...
/ Dan: Tourette's LIKE A FOX! / Joe: Davros: my Step of the Wind stance let's me move full speed through difficult terrain, can I use that to get through crowds faster?
/ Davros: I'm going to say yes - BUT - if it's people and not real difficult terrain, you do NOT get the conditional attack bonuses from your stance.
/ Joe: Damn. Oh well... we'll have Cadric order his men to lock down the Concourse.
/ Davros: Sure. Cadric is leading you up the enchanted triple-helix staircase to the second level of the Concourse where a shirtless man with salt-and-pepper hair but a massively-built torso is standing outside a shop, fuming and waving around a molten-looking heavy blacksmith's hammer. / [Cadric ushers Vincent the smith inside his shop, allowing the heroes to examine the scene of the crime and to question him]
/ Davros: Vincent is pissed: "Damn brazen burglers! They hurt one of my boys, bad, and only ran off when I gave one of them a hammer to the arse!"
/ Dan: "GOOD WORK FIGHTING THEM OFF."
/ Joe: "WAS ANYTHING SPECIAL ABOUT THE WEAPONS STOLEN?"
/ Davros: "All my weapons are special! I'm the best smith in-"
/ Joe: I'll point out some that remain. "THEY DIDN'T TAKE, THAT, THAT..."
/ Davros: One that you pointed to gives him pause. "The Decapitator? It's worth tens of thousands more than the ones..." / Joe: Now that he's paying attention, "WHAT DO THE STOLEN ITEMS HAVE IN COMMON?"
/ Davros: "Longswords and Greatswords, moderately powerful. The enchantments were a little more complexe due to the Cold Iron..."
/ Joe: Tremor turns to Obfuscator: "COLD IRON"
/ Jill: "USED TO SLAY DEMONS... FEY... NIGHT HAGS!"
/ Joe: "LOCKDOWN MAY BE IRRELEVANT; THEY DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THE BUILDING."
/ Jill: "WE WILL TRACK THEM DOWN..."
/ Dan: "-OR MY NAME ISN'T TETSUJIN." [loudly] "I AM TETSUJIN!" http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=448 |
| AGC #449 | Jill: I bet this guy is under a Suggestion spell, and that the thieves collapsed the door just a few minutes ago to prevent us from searching there. Are the walls a foot thick?
/ Davros: No, your Detect Thoughts goes through a single internal wall, at least most of the walls in the Concourse or Atrium.
/ Jill: Then I focus my cone-shaped emanation towards the hidden room.
/ Davros: Sure enough, you sense five minds in there.
/ Jill: Do any fail their saves?
/ Davros: A couple, and they are definitely thinking about waiting out 'the heat'.
/ Jill: Perfect. / Jill: Can I tell if there's a back way out?
/ Davros: You can't rule it out, but none of them are thinking about one. They seem to be looking to their leader to get them out with the weapons.
/ Jill: Can I hear the leader's thoughts?
/ Davros: Nope.
/ Jill: Figures, probably passed his save.
/ Joe: Sounds like we should gank them. Attack plan?
/ Jill: I'm thinking A.J., S.C., B.T., then play it by ear.
/ Joe: Roger, roger.
/ Dan: What the hell are you talking about?
/ Jill: I'm gonna cast some spells. / Jill: Obfuscator whispers: "EVERYONE READY?"
/ Joe: "COMBAT ROUTINES INITIALIZED"
/ Dan: "I AM TETSUJIN!"
/ Davros: That didn't sound like a whisper...
/ Jill: I'm going! Obfuscator uses his conjurer power to Abrupt Jaunt, teleporting 10 feet to the other side of the wall as an immediate action, then I'll drop Stinking Cloud over the whole room, and use my move to reposition along the wall so they don't know where I am after visibility is blocked.
/ Davros: Make a spot check. It's a detail that would normally be obvious, but you're trying to cast your spell before they know you are there. You also lose concentration on Detect Thoughts.
/ Jill: Of course. / Jill: I get a 12 for Spot, no thanks to my modifiers...
/ Davros: Well, you didn't bomb the roll, so I'll give it to you. There are six figures in the room; five hooded humanoids plus one skinny warforged with broad shoulders, forearms and calves.
/ Joe: A warforged? That's not right...
/ Davros: No? Why wouldn't there be a warforged, Joe?
/ Joe: Well... because, uh... warforged should show up on Detect Thoughts.
/ Jill: The one who cast Suggestion on the clerk must have Nondetection, get with the program.
/ Dan: More enemies just means more XP.
/ Joe: ...right... http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=449 |
| AGC #450 | Jill: I bet this guy is under a Suggestion spell, and that the thieves collapsed the door just a few minutes ago to prevent us from searching there. Are the walls a foot thick?
/ Davros: No, your Detect Thoughts goes through a single internal wall, at least most of the walls in the Concourse or Atrium.
/ Jill: Then I focus my cone-shaped emanation towards the hidden room.
/ Davros: Sure enough, you sense five minds in there.
/ Jill: Do any fail their saves?
/ Davros: A couple, and they are definitely thinking about waiting out 'the heat'.
/ Jill: Perfect. / Jill: Can I tell if there's a back way out?
/ Davros: You can't rule it out, but none of them are thinking about one. They seem to be looking to their leader to get them out with the weapons.
/ Jill: Can I hear the leader's thoughts?
/ Davros: Nope.
/ Jill: Figures, probably passed his save.
/ Joe: Sounds like we should gank them. Attack plan?
/ Jill: I'm thinking A.J., S.C., B.T., then play it by ear.
/ Joe: Roger, roger.
/ Dan: What the hell are you talking about?
/ Jill: I'm gonna cast some spells. / Jill: Obfuscator whispers: "EVERYONE READY?"
/ Joe: "COMBAT ROUTINES INITIALIZED"
/ Dan: "I AM TETSUJIN!"
/ Davros: That didn't sound like a whisper...
/ Jill: I'm going! Obfuscator uses his conjurer power to Abrupt Jaunt, teleporting 10 feet to the other side of the wall as an immediate action, then I'll drop Stinking Cloud over the whole room, and use my move to reposition along the wall so they don't know where I am after visibility is blocked.
/ Davros: Make a spot check. It's a detail that would normally be obvious, but you're trying to cast your spell before they know you are there. You also lose concentration on Detect Thoughts.
/ Jill: Of course. / Jill: I get a 12 for Spot, no thanks to my modifiers...
/ Davros: Well, you didn't bomb the roll, so I'll give it to you. There are six figures in the room; five hooded humanoids plus one skinny warforged with broad shoulders, forearms and calves.
/ Joe: A warforged? That's not right...
/ Davros: No? Why wouldn't there be a warforged, Joe?
/ Joe: Well... because, uh... warforged should show up on Detect Thoughts.
/ Jill: The one who cast Suggestion on the clerk must have Nondetection, get with the program.
/ Dan: More enemies just means more XP.
/ Joe: ...right... http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=450 |
| AGC #451 | Davros: Obfuscator's surprise assault has a couple of the thieves nauseated, but three of them passed their saves and of course the enemy warforged is immune.
/ Jill: My initiative is only 8, but I don't think the other Justicars can do anything yet, outside the room, can you? Got any buffs Joe?
/ Joe: Not especially. I have two forms of magic, but both are 100% movement powers and melee nukes.
/ Jill: So have at me, crappy NPCs.
/ Davros: Coughing and sputtering, one of them calls out "Do something!" and the warforged is spurred into action, shouting "THIS WAY!" You hear heavy stomping and the rubble is smashed out of the doorway by a strange-looking warforged (and a very high break check). / Dan: Wait, is he stranger-looking than Tetsujin?
/ Davros: Probably not, but it's arguable.
/ Dan: Arguable? Oh, this guy is going down!
/ Davros: In many ways he is a "skinny" human proportioned warforged, but his shoulders are large pauldrons like Tremor's, and his forearms and shins have huge bulging cylinders that give him a distorted look, like a terminator/megaman hybrid. He has a large shield shaped almost like a train's cowcatcher.
/ Joe: The break check ended his turn, right?
/ Davros: Yep.
/ Joe: Then I'm going to move up beside him and see how he likes my Mountain Hammer maneuver. I hit AC 24 for 22 damage, ignoring DR. / Davros: Unfortunately, that's a miss. He blocks deftly with his shield, and your martial training tells you he is a very skilled combattant.
/ Joe: AC higher than 24...
/ Jill: Sounds like a tank-type, he probably doesn't hit very hard. I'm going to got ahead and cast Benign Transposition on Tetsujin.
/ Dan: What? Are you giving me cancer or something?
/ Jill: NO! Benign means not-harmful. Unless you chose to resist, the spell will use teleportation to make our two characters trade places, so you can run amok tripping and pummeling the nauseated bandits in my cloud, and I can use magic attacks to whittle down the big guy.
/ Dan: Amok? I'm in! / Dan: Okay, I'll move this way through the cloud until I run into something, then I'll improved trip whatever I ran into right into the ground.
/ Davros: The first thief you encounter is nauseated, so you easily trip him. For your free follow-up attack, are you trying to kill him or not?
/ Dan: Um, Tetsujin will go for the nonlethal thingy stuff again. Take 14!
/ Davros: K, he's lying on the ground and beat-up, but it's going to take several more hits to knock him out at that rate.
/ Joe: I'm not questioning the game mechanic, but out of curiosity, how does one inflict 'nonlethal' damage with a spiked morningstar?
/ Dan: I dunno... groin shots?
/ Jill: Ha!
/ Joe: Oooh... http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=451 |
| AGC #452 | Dan: Can't I just autowin against a guy who's all vomiting and stuff?
/ Davros: Well you mostly can, but it takes time. Although being nauseated prevents them from taking actions, they aren't considered "defenseless". And in combat, it matters how long it takes because his allies could try to help him.
/ Dan: With what? Gravol?
/ Davros: More likely by trying to kill you.
/ Jill: Don't worry, you've got lots of time. If they can't escape the room, they'll all be affected by the Stinking Cloud within a few rounds. Meanwhile, Tremor and Obfuscator will take out the leader.
/ Joe: I hope we aren't underestimating this guy...
/ Jill: Ha! Joe's afraid. / Davros: Let's see, Dan's target spends his whole turn standing up. The other nauseated one moves most of the way to the door. Another thief moves up behind the warforged and throws a dagger through the doorway, missing Tremor. The last one decides to brave the stench and try to get Tetsujin off his friend. He hit AC 21.
/ Dan: Um, that's a hit. I guess.
/ Davros: Okay, you take 9 damage. Then the warforge acts.
/ Jill: Let's see what you've got, tank-boy.
/ Davros: Okay, the enemy warforged attempts the Disarming Strike maneuver against Tremor. Attacking with his armor spikes he hits AC 29...
/ Joe: Arrgh! What did he roll?
/ Davros: Wouldn't you like to know. / Davros: He hits you for 12 bludgeoning.
/ Joe: Reduced by 2 for my Adamantine Body DR.
/ Davros: Yep. Next, since his maneuver hit, you guys make opposed attack rolls.
/ Joe: With my +4 because for using a two-handed weapon, I get a 25.
/ Davros: He only gets a 22, so you are not disarmed. THEN because he hit with a melee attack, he takes a special free Bull Rush against you.
/ Joe: The Pushback feat? He's a Juggernaut???
/ Davros: You don't need the Juggernaut prestige class to take Pushback.
/ Jill: Yet they're the only ones who take it.
/ Joe: Okay, on my strength check to oppose the Bull Rush I get a total of 16.
/ Davros: Um, ya, you're pushed.
/ Joe: Hey, you didn't roll for that.
/ Davros: Okay, here: I roll... and you're pushed. / Davros: He'll slide you back one square along the wall and move into the square you just left, and you suffer 13 adamantine piercing damage from his armor spikes.
/ Joe: Juggernaut.
/ Jill: Juggernaut.
/ Joe: And with virtually unstoppable bull rush bonuses.
/ Jill: And he's at least level 8, built like a PC.
/ Joe: Who's afraid now?
/ Jill: Never mind that, what the hell is this fight's Challenge Rating?
/ Joe: Uh, ya really! We're only level 5... ya...
/ Dan: Nothin' stops da Juggernaut!
/ Davros: Not helping. http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=452 |
| AGC #453 | Dan: My turn?
/ Joe: You need to help us with the Juggernaut.
/ Jill: What? What? There are already two of us on him! Tetsujin's doing more good by taking out the other thieves.
/ Joe: I don't know...
/ Jill: I don't get why you are scared. What makes this NPC so much scarier than anything else we fight?
/ Joe: I... it's... I just don't like him.
/ Dan: Whatever, I'm going to town on these guys. You said my first victim stood back up, right?
/ Davros: That's correct. / Dan: Then I trip him again, touch 15, trip check 19...
/ Davros: Ya, he's down again. Lucky guy.
/ Dan: Well I hit him for some non-lethal last round, so odds of killing him are really low if I just shred him. Morningstar, Slam, Bite, eat 9, 5, 8... so a total of, uhh... lots. Of damage.
/ Davros: He's still standing. Well, not standing, but still consious.
/ Jill: The leader is level 8 AND the thugs have over 36 HP? This would be a hell of a fight without Stinking Cloud!
/ Davros: He stays down this time, hoping you'll stop beating him. / Davros: Two thieves move out of the room (and the cloud). The one on Tetsujin stays put and attacks - AC 18 Dan?
/ Dan: "TETSUJIN LAUGHS AT YOUR ATTACK!"
/ Joe: Alright, I'm going to Shocking Grasp the tank.
/ Davros: Through your sword?
/ Joe: No, I want the touch attack. Touch AC 14 for 17 damage.
/ Davros: That's a miss.
/ Joe: Oh wait, I forgot the +3 for attacking a metal target.
/ Davros: That's a hit then.
/ Joe: His touch AC is 15-plus? That's ridiculous... / Davros: As ridiculous as "forgetting" a bonus to narrow down his touch AC?
/ Joe: It was a mistake!
/ Jill: Okay, okay. Joe's dick-move aside, I'm going to Fiery Blast him and that thief who got out of the cloud for 10.
/ Davros: Thief evasions, warforged takes 10. Then he uses Charging Minotaur combined with the Twisted Charge trick to move here, then over to bull rush Obfuscator.
/ Jill: What the hell? Do something Joe!
/ Joe: I can't, his maneuver doesn't provoke attacks.
/ Jill: It's your job to spare me the indignity of hand-to-hand combat!
/ Dan: You should slap him as you say that. http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=453 |
| AGC #454 | Jill: Okay, he hit me with the Charging Minotaur move. I'm sure my feeble strength is no match for his ludicrous bull rush bonuses. What's the damage, 2d6?
/ Joe: Um, BASE 2d6...
/ Davros: 2d6 plus his 1d8 armor spikes, plus Str, plus the 1d8 bonus damage he gets on a charge. Take 25.
/ Jill: TWENTY-FIVE DAMAGE?
/ Davros: And you're pushed back 3 squares to here.
/ Jill: This guy is ridiculous!
/ Joe: Hmm, let's see... why was I scared again?
/ Jill: Dan! You need to help us with the Juggernaut!
/ Dan: 25 damage? Better you than me. / Davros: Oh, I did forget to process the Stinking Cloud. On Jill's turn, the thief who stayed in the cloud to fight Tetsujin failed his save, so he's nauseated and useless now too.
/ Dan: Aw, these two are no fun. Well, since there are two on Tremor now, I'm going to change my Draconic Aura from +2 melee damage to the one that gives Fire Resist 10...
/ Joe: Oh, not the breath weapon...
/ Dan: I'll move to block the entrance of the cloud room, and catch Tremor and the two thieves in my BREATH WEAPON! Eat... 8 fire damage!
/ Joe: The damage is so trivial...
/ Dan: See, my aura makes me and my allies IMMUNE!
/ Davros: Unless you rolled high on your 2d6. / Dan: Well, more-or-less immune.
/ Joe: Dan your ENEMIES are more-or-less immune.
/ Dan: What? How much fire resist do they have? The bastards...
/ Davros: None, but they do have Evasion. What's your breath weapon save DC?
/ Dan: Fifteen.
/ Davros: Then they both save and take no damage. You're up, Joe.
/ Jill: This better be good! I need this guy off of me!
/ Joe: Oh, I'm going in full power now.
/ Dan: Bastards! / Joe: Tremor will use Cloak of Deception to become invisible, move over to the Juggernaut and channel a Shocking Grasp through my greatsword. I get +2 from attacking Invisibly (plus deny him his dex, if any), +1 for Battlecaster Offense, and +3 for the target being made of metal. I hit AC 28.
/ Davros: That's a hit.
/ Joe: Take 31 damage.
/ Davros: His DR eats 2 points, but he can't take many more hits like that.
/ Jill: That's it? He could still kill me!
/ Joe: I hit him for 6 damage per character level, what more do you want?
/ Jill: I want to not die!
/ Davros: You can't have everything, Jill. http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=454 |
| AGC #455 | Jill: I'm not dead yet, I'm acting before the Juggernaut.
/ Davros: Yep, you have one turn to save youself and your, how many? About a dozen hit points?
/ Jill: I'm still in the double-digits, thank you very much. Anyhow, I'm going to 5-foot step away from jerk-wad here. I take it he doesn't have Thicket of Blades stance?
/ Davros: Nope, nothing that mean, yet.
/ Jill: Then I'll drop a Web spell across the entrance of the store between these two walls, such that it hits the Juggernaut but not Tremor.
/ Davros: In order not to hit Joe's guy, your web is only going to be 10 feet thick, including the 5 foot square that the Juggernaut is occupying.
/ Jill: Can't it extend out onto the Concourse?
/ Davros: There are no walls to anchor it. / Davros: If anything it should extend 20 feet into the store, but I'm assuming you can control that.
/ Jill: Fair enough, Reflex 18?
/ Davros: He fails, so he's entangled and immobilized. Looks like you're safe for now.
/ Jill: Ha! I don't risk my life on crap like that. Obfuscator will end his turn by using his Swift action to Abrupt Jaunt. Teleporting 10 feet should just barely get him across the wall back into the back room with the Stinking Cloud.
/ Davros: Very well. The Juggernaut makes his strength check to break free of the web, but according to the spell rules, that takes his whole turn, and he's still Entangled and subject to brutally reduced movement.
/ Joe: And Obfuscator has left me to mop up.
/ Jill: That's right, Tremor, or Janitor, or whatever your name is. / Dan: Well I'm going to keep beating these punks till they surrender. Tetsujin switches back to his +2 damage aura, then I'll 5-foot between the two that Joe left by the door, trip this guy and smash him for 13.
/ Davros: Right.
/ Dan: I'll trip the second one with my slam... 15 for the trip?
/ Davros: Nope, he got a 17 to resist.
/ Dan: Then I try again with my bite... 12?
/ Davros: He rolled bad that time, so he's tripped.
/ Dan: Okay, improved trip... I bite him for 6. I love my +2 damage aura.
/ Jill: Some of us would have preferred your fast-heal:2 aura. / Joe: Technically, Jill, you're the only one low enough to take advantage of it.
/ Jill: Well I could have used those two hitpoints!
/ Dan: So? I could have healed you for 2, or done 4 extra damage. I went for damage.
/ Joe: You're going to Repair Moderate Damage on your next turn anyway. The extra two health won't make much difference.
/ Jill: So? Those crap thieves are on the ground, the extra two damage on each won't make much difference either. Why the hell are you defending Dan's moves anyway?
/ Joe: Part because his choice was reasonable, part because you called my guy 'Janitor', and part because you complained that all I did on my last turn was hit the bad guy for THIRTY DAMAGE!
/ Jill: Technically, Joe, it was only 29 after DR.
/ Dan: The important thing is Joe said I was reasonable. http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=455 |
| AGC #456 | Davros: Okay, the thieves accomplished nothing, as usual. What's Tremor doing?
/ Joe: Well, I don't see any reason to conserve resources, so I'll channel another Shocking Grasp through my greatsword. AC 23?
/ Davros: That's a miss.
/ Joe: Come on, even with the -4 Dex from being entangled in Obfuscator's web spell?
/ Davros: I counted that. Still a miss... he's too good with that plow-shaped shield of his.
/ Jill: Joe! He's going to get away!
/ Joe: I rolled a six. That's not under my control! My rolls this session have been pretty average. / Jill: You didn't roll a lot threes or eighteens? What the hell kind of excuse is that?
/ Joe: Why do I need an excuse? I've inflicted most of the damage on this guy despite his ridiculous AC, and you had to waste a whole turn running away.
/ Jill: I webbed him so you could kill him! How was that a waste?
/ Joe: I'm counting your upcoming turn when you won't be doing anything other than repairing yourself.
/ Dan: You guys are getting kindof annoying. "TETSUJIN DEMANDS LESS TALK AND MORE ACTION!"
/ Jill: Did 'Tourette's like a fox' just call ME annoying?
/ Joe: I doubt it, he's too busy amusing himself with the petty minions. / Davros: Ahem, so the Juggernaut isn't stuck anymore, but he still has to roll strength against the web to see how far he can move. He rolls average-y, and comes out with a 21. He gets to go 5 feet for every full 5 points by which his total exceeds 10, so he moves 10 feet, putting him clear of the web on the other side...
/ Joe: He's running away!
/ Dan: That means we win, right?
/ Jill: That means he's a recurring villain! Get him!
/ Joe: I can't get him, he's through the web now.
/ Jill: Well I don't want to have to fight him again! / Joe: I don't have a good chance against the Reflex DC, and even with my Anklets of Translocation, I have to enter a web square before or after teleporting 10 feet.
/ Jill: You're just afraid to face him without me.
/ Joe: Fighting him with or without you is prettymuch the same since you won't be doing anything next round anyhow. Fact is, he defeated your last-ditch spell and he's getting away.
/ Jill: I disabled all his allies, I damaged him, I absorbed a round of his attacks AND I effectively took him out for one round and slowed him for the next round, what more do you want!
/ Joe: Respect! For doing all the damage!
/ Jill: Respect? Ha!
/ Dan: Are you two going to get a divorce? http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=456 |
| AGC #457 | Davros: It appears that the warforged Juggernaut is getting away. Without him (and with the Web spell still blocking escape from the jewelry shop), you three can easily subdue and round up the remaining four thieves. Half of them were nauseated by the stinking cloud anyway.
/ Jill: Wait, the remaining four thieves? Detect Thoughts told me there were five of them, not counting the stupid "immune to mind-affecting spells" Juggernaut...
/ Davros: Well after you bind them and dismiss the cloud, you find that you only have four captives.
/ Dan: Tetsujin will search the back room for a hidden exit. I get... 29.
/ Davros: Despite your good roll, you don't find any other way out, nor do you find the stolen Cold Iron weapons. / Jill: They weren't using them?
/ Davros: Once the fight is over, you quickly realize that their swords are just normal masterwork steel, and clearly not the ones that Vincent described.
/ Dan: How did they get out?
/ Jill: It could still be a secret door.
/ Dan: With a DC higher than 29? As if.
/ Jill: It's possible, though that would be very high for a level 5 party.
/ Dan: Then I'll 'take a 20', and come out with 34!
/ Jill: You have +14 Search?
/ Joe: The +5 bonus from his Red Draconic Adaptation really goes a long way.
/ Davros: It does, but you still find nothing. / Jill: I didn't think so. I specifically checked the blueprints of both the Atrium and Concourse for any secret doors or weird spaces that could be hidden passages. I can't rule them out entirely, but it makes them a little less likely here...
/ Dan: So how the heck did one of them escape WITH all the stolen thingies?
/ Joe: Well, Davros ruled that Obfuscator could Abrupt Jaunt through walls. Their conjurer must have used the same trick to get out while the Stinking Cloud blocked vision in the back room.
/ Jill: Wait, a conjurer? Who said anything about a conjurer?
/ Joe: I thought I heard he was a conjurer. Davros, didn't you say he was a conjurer?
/ Davros: Umm... / Jill: No, he didn't - I would have remembered something like that. Plus, the only spell that we KNOW was cast by one of the thieves is Suggestion, a pretty high level enchantment spell relative to our party level. So there's no reason at all to assume that the one who got away was a conjurer.
/ Joe: I guess I was just wrong then. Anyhow, we should see what Cadric...
/ Jill: You were REALLY surprised by the presence of that Juggernaut, and very afraid of him in a way that you weren't concerned about the Cultist caster in the first encounter of the module, even though he attacked us from an invisibility sphere, with a high challenge rating worth of backup. JOE YOU BASTARD!
/ Joe: Uh-oh...
/ Dan: I don't know what's going on, but I wish I had some popcorn. http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=457 |
| AGC #458 | Jill: Joe's read the whole damned module, and he didn't tell us!
/ Dan: What? Laaaaame...
/ Jill: All this time you've been acting like didn't know what was coming, but secretly guiding our group decisions to try and neutralize some of the harder parts of all these CR 7-10 fights. Deep Sky One must be, what, a level 7 adventure?
/ Davros: I know, I know. I really shouldn't have...
/ Jill: Joe! You KNOW that if you've read the adventure it's your DUTY to take a backseat in the roleplaying and adventuring decisions, so the NON-cheaters can enjoy things.
/ Dan: But noooOOOOooo, you have to be a cheater.
/ Joe: Hey, I didn't mess around with that much... / Davros: Wait, so you're not pissed that I threw your undermanned level 5 party against a hard level 7 adventure?
/ Dan: No, you're the GM.
/ Jill: We are hardcore, plus our team was built around a brutal combo. We would have just steamrolled a garden-variety level 5 module.
/ Dan: Where's the fun in that?
/ Jill: No, I'm just pissed that the Wizard of Cheese here hid the fact that he'd read the whole thing. He enjoys the strategy and tactics of combat enough that he should have come clean and let us make all the adventuring and roleplaying decisions instead of trying to ruin the game with his foreknowledge.
/ Dan: Hehe, Joe's the Cheez Whiz. / Jill: Way back when we met the Riedran Ambassadors and the assassins were hidden in the wall... did that wall happen to have a thin sheet of lead in it?
/ Davros: Technically, yes.
/ Jill: I knew it! Joe actually had me convinced that the warforged weren't shielded from Detect Thoughts, even though that would have meant the Riedran Ambassador WASN'T posessed by a Quori - which would be like the first time in history. He AND one of his aides had Quori spirits, and those were the "two extra minds". Joe you manipulative bastard!
/ Joe: I was concerned that the big assassination scene would...
/ Dan: Cheater!
/ Joe: Oh, big words coming from Nuclear Dan, the guy who once cast about five third level spells more than his daily limit! / Davros[thinking]: Wow, all along I was so worried about them being pissed at an "unfair adventure", and they didn't care at all. They like a challenge and they already trust me not to hit them with something they can't handle, or perhaps they just feel there's nothing they can't handle if they make the right moves.
/ Dan: Me? What about the time when you tried to convince Steele that etherialness doesn't go through water. Joe Chaos... more like Joe Cheez Whiz.
/ Joe: I panicked, okay? Besides, Nn... Jill... was practically my accomplice on that one.
/ Jill: What? How dare you blame me for your BS!
/ Joe: You watched it happen and didn't say a thing, if it was a crime then you were Aiding and Abetting.
/ Davros[thinking]: Hmm, while I'm all warm and fuzzy, they are getting ugly... http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=458 |
| AGC #459 | [Tensions have risen over Joe hiding the fact that he had read the adventure]
/ Jill: Oooh, Tremor. You're basically a weak earthquake. Tremble in fear!
/ Joe: Whatever, 'Obfuscator'? Your name is just your function! You're one step away from being a fighter named 'Fighter'!
/ Dan: I AM TETSUJIN!
/ Jill: You're a moron!
/ Davros: Guys, guys! You won the fight, there's no need to tear each other down.
/ Joe: We barely won, and the recurring villain that you custom-built and added to the already tough adventure escaped, so we'll have to fight him again.
/ Davros: Look at it this way... you leveled.
/ [GAME SESSION ENDS] / [Davros sits at his computer, messaging with Steele over Gmail chat]
/ Davros: They were mildly placated, planning out their new level, but overall it was a fiasco, and I'm afraid that next week when we resume, they'll be back at each other's throats in about five minutes.
/ Steele: Ya, that's pretty rough. It sounds a little like the situation leading up to the old Evil campaign. I had hoped that playing Evil for a while would help them vent their frustrations over a few weeks, after which we could get back to normal.
/ Davros: How exactly is encouraging them to trick and backstab each other supposed to make things better?
/ Steele: I know it sounds weird... / Steele: The thing is, in the Evil campaign, everyone knows they're eventually going to start infighting and try to kill each other. Knowing that, and playing the bad guys, somehow causes them to roleplay more and to actually enjoy how obnoxious the other players are being. And since it's expected, and everyone's just biding their time trying to set something up, when somebody does get ganked, instead of being pissed off they can usually appreciate and respect that a worthy opponent really got them.
/ Davros: I can see how that might help 'get out their aggressions', but from what I hear, the last Evil campaign was anything but therapeutic.
/ Steele: True, but back then we were playing with Stan.
/ Davros: Ok, I keep hearing about this, but nobody will talk about it at Jill's house. What did Stan actually DO to Jill? / Steele: Quite a lot of things, really. But it started on the very first night of the campaign. When I went to the washroom, he had arranged for somebody to call Jill, pretending to be a telemarketer. Still not sure how he managed to time that...
/ Davros: Actually, your bathroom break is pretty regular. I started timing it in my head, and you average about an hour and thirty-seven minutes from when we sit down.
/ Steele: I see... Anyhow, while Jill was off shouting at the phone, obviously she took her character sheet with her. But Stan pulled out a freakin' charcoal and managed to get a partial rubbing of her character from the imprints her pencil made on the tablecloth.
/ Davros: Her gaming table doesn't have a tablecloth.
/ Steele: Not anymore... http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=459 |
| AGC #460 | [[The first frame resembles the Star-Wars-Intro scrolling text]]
/ [The last Evil campaign...]
/ Using a partial rubbing from the tablecloth and some educated guesses, Dr Stan had reconstructed a duplicate stat-sheet for Jill's character, Archdeacon Levinson, revealing the Ardeacon's greatest secret - a mod from a Beholder Magazine that granted him 1 hp/round Regeneration, such that he could heal from even lethal wounds as long as he was not finished off with acid. Where Jill expected to make a miraculous comeback if she should be defeated a first time, Stan's quiet dissemination of this information to the other players ensured that her character's first death would be his last. / [[The four evil characters are illustrated, with their respective players standing in shadow behind them]]
/ In-game, the sinister quartet started off united in their mission to dethrone the benevolent God-King Amamensis. Ingvar the Invulnerable tanked, Archdeacon Levinson healed, and the devastating duo of Baron Von Schtandholdt and Pyrov the Faceburner laid low all their enemies. / [[Now it is the characters in the foreground who are darkened, and the players behind them are highlighted]]
/ While on the surface they worked together, each villain also pursued his own agenda, concealed from his erstwhile allies. Ingvar sought an ancient ritual to become a Vampire, the Archdeacon used religion as a cloak as he expanded his powerful crime syndicate, the Baron searched for a Deck of Many Things to abuse with his divinations, and Pyrov randomly killed peasants for no particular reason. / Steele: Each player had their own secret strategy for winning. Joe used a mask and full plate to hide that he was a Drow elf, and was so dedicated to keeping his racial spell-like abilities a surprise for the other players that he nearly died to NPCs, when Levitation could easily have saved him. Dan planned to, well, burn things. Jill, as you've heard, planned to mind-control her way to victory. And Stan, privy to that knowledge, learned a spell that would steal control of a Dominate or Charm. But Stan had pulled something else from the tablecloth, something that should have had nothing to do with the game... http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=460 |
| AGC #461 | [The entire massive panel shows the characters of the infamous Old Evil Campaign; Baron Von Schtandholdt looms over a crystal ball that shows Pyrov the Faceburner, Archdeacon Levinson and Ingvar the Invulnerable moving together]
/ {{A huge link in the middle says "CLICK HERE! THE OLD EVIL CAMPAIGN EXCERPT: PART 1". Clicking takes you to that fictional D&D Excerpt in the style of the author's Real D&D Excerpts.}} http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=461 |
| AGC #462 | [The entire massive panel shows the players from the era of the Old Evil Campaign; A young(ish) Dr. Stan looms over a crystal ball that shows Nazi Jill holding a book, Nuclear Dan fist-pumping, Joe wearing his (then-standard) all-black shirt, akin to what Luke Skywalker wore on the second Death Star] / {{A huge link in the middle says "CLICK HERE! THE OLD EVIL CAMPAIGN EXCERPT: PART 2". Clicking takes you to that fictional D&D Excerpt in the style of the author's Real D&D Excerpts.}} http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=462 |
| AGC #463 | [The entire massive panel shows Nazi Jill and Dr. Stan facing off, in the clothing of their respective Evil Campaign characters: Archdeacon Levinson and Baron Von Schtandholdt, respectively]
/ {{A huge link near the bottom says "CLICK HERE! THE OLD EVIL CAMPAIGN EXCERPT: PART 3". Clicking takes you to that fictional D&D Excerpt in the style of the author's Real D&D Excerpts.}} http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=463 |
| AGC #464 | Davros: Wow... why would he do that for just for a game? Did they have a big bet on the outcome or something?
/ Steele: Nothing like that. You have to understand that they had a friendship based largely on how ridiculously competitive they both are. Arguing dubious rules interpretations and tricking the GM into allow broken things and dubious spells from shady sources... that stuff is just the way they play. Hell, that stuff hardly changed after he left.
/ Davros: But setting up fake phonecalls to lure her from the table, hacking her email, making her worry about her daughter's safety? What the hell was he thinking...
/ Steele: I'm not going to justify any of that, not really. But you have to understand the context of their rivalry. / Steele: At that gaming table, using virtually any means to win was par for the course, it was the kind of thing that would piss people off for one night, but by the next week everyone would be applauding it and trying to figure out how to get appropriate revenge (or how they could top themselves after that). Dr. Stan definitely crossed a line... I'm just saying that the line wasn't quite as obvious when you were right there in the action. Still, everyone knew when the line had been crossed, and the telling thing is that nobody else would have done what he did. That's how you really know it wasn't 'just part of the game'.
/ Davros: I dunno, the crazy thing is it sounds like the opposite of all his philosophy BS. He's always talking about treating real life like a game to gain real advantages; doing it the other way doesn't make sense - what do you gain from abusing real life to win (what should have been) a friendly game? / Steele: Who knows?
/ Davros: Oh well, I should get started planning my evil campaign.
/ Steele: Your own evil campaign? After all that I just told you, you think that's a good idea?
/ Davros: As you said, nobody else would have done what Stan did there. But a lot of the other stuff you told me made me realize that the guys are really missing that sort of more direct competition. I think that giving them a better outlet to push the minmaxxing (and rules-lawyering) limits and to vent their frustrations will allow them to enjoy themselves, and then to get back to working together in Deep Sky One, and eventually in your campaign once I'm ready for it.
/ Steele: You may be right... I guess I'm really the one who put it out there, though I didn't really mean that you should risk it. There are need a few things to make the evil campaign work though... / Davros: I know I'll need a world that is well-fleshed out, so that if they go in unpredictable directions I'm not forced to completely 'wing it'.
/ Steele: That would definitely help.
/ Davros: And I'll need to put together a compelling reason for a ragtag band of powerful villains to work together and not just kill and loot each other - at least initially.
/ Steele: Right. Even then, you have to watch very carefully to make sure your teamwork incentive is still working in the first session, because if Joe or Jill isn't buying it, they WILL fake it for a while before striking, just to gather more info. But there's one other thing you absolutely need...
/ Davros: A good life insurance policy for when the players get ugly?
/ Steele: You need a fourth player. And don't invite anybody you have to live with or work with afterwards... http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=464 |
| AGC #465 | [Outside Mindflayer Cards]
/ Davros: Hey, Bateman, how's it going? Haven't seen you since you sold Balorama.
/ Bateman: I'm okay, I guess. Overall, I didn't lose too much investing in the gaming store. Once I sold it, I put my savings back in the bank and got a normal job. How about you?
/ Davros: I came down to Mindflayer because I'd rather not run into Dr. Stan right now.
/ Bateman: You realize he owns this store too.
/ Davros: Oh, I know. But he doesn't leave Stangames too often, and I figured he'll be spending more time at Balorama for a while. I just need to grab the Tome of Magic, in case Jill decided to splash Binder or something for the new campaign...
/ Bateman: Starting a new game? / [A previous conversation between the usual guys...]
/ Davros: ...a level 10 or 11 Evil Campaign. What do you think?
/ Dan: Wait, don't we already have two different games on the go?
/ Davros: I know, I know... and I do want to get back to them. But it seems like you guys need a break from the Warforged party already, and I'm not quite ready to take over Steele's campaign yet. There's a lot of history there.
/ Joe: I want to say you can handle it, and that we all have confidence in you man, but more than that... I love building characters, and mid-tier evil builds... my mind's already going a mile a minute.
/ Jill: Mmm, yes... level 10, anything goes, no more goody-two-shoes...
/ Davros: If Mercutio is a 'goody two-shoes', it'll be interesting to see Evil Jill.
/ Dan: You've seen 'Evil Jill', it's called 'Jill'. / Joe: Hmm, 11 levels of awesome... this'll be fun to build.
/ Jill: It will be fun, but he said level 10.
/ Davros: Actually, I said 10 or 11, I'm not sure which way to go...
/ Jill: I don't need an extra level to rule the world, 10 is a good starting point.
/ Joe: 11 means more power! More EVIL!
/ Jill: And more cheesy NPCs too, I'd rather they have less access to high level spells. If we're one level higher, they're also one level higher and one level closer to Level 8 spells, or god-forbid Level 9 I-Win buttons, and you KNOW some of them will be higher level than us.
/ Joe: Look, let's take a vote. Dan, would you rather be level 10, or level 11?
/ Dan: I...
/ Jill: Oh please, could you load the question any more? Of course you know what he's going to say if you phrase it that way. / [Back to the present, with Davros and Bateman standing in front of Mindflayer Cards]
/ Bateman: Wow, they sound really hard to handle.
/ Davros: Actually, I've found that anytime they are that enthusiastic, it's usually a good sign. My biggest worry as a GM right now is that my final exams and term papers are going to eat up too much of my prep time.
/ Bateman: I guess that's one good thing about working a regular nine-to-five job. I don't have to take it home with me. No studying or homework. I do miss being my own boss at the comic store though...
/ Davros: And dressing up like superheroes.
/ Bateman: Maybe a little...
/ Davros: Say, how would you like to take part in a Saturday D&D group? Just... don't wear the cowl. http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=465 |
| AGC #466 | {{The Author's Notes below include a link to the character sheets for Bateman's villain, Count Massari, and for Joe's character, Domovoi}}
/ [As Bateman works on his character, a caricature of that character in the background brutally slices a stick-man in half]
/ Bateman: Hmm, the best villains are often the ones who had the potential to be heroes. I think I'll go with less of a Dark Knight, and more of a Fallen Zorro archetype. The Avenging Executioner from Complete Scoundrel fits my backstory, and makes me a terrifying slice-you-in-half assassin. Not even an assassin, an in-your-face killer! Since I'm going with precision-damage, I'll use the old Ring of Blinking to always deny my targets dex bonus (that pretty much covers defense too), then I max-out my sneak attack by having an odd-number of levels in each class. The fighter variant from Unearthed Arcana lets me trade bonus feats for SA (as a rogue), while keeping the BaB I need for Avenging... and I'm done! Now I can concentrate on my backstory... / [Steele in between frames] You'll probably see Jill and Joe each build some crazy hybrid with a half-dozen classes, making it harder for the others to pin down their exact capabilities. Though they look impressive, remember that those sorts of builds are often no stronger than a mono-class or mono-plus-PrC build - especially for hard casters. / [As Joe works on his character, the background shows a caricature of an invisible figure wielding green magic]
/ Joe: Jill's going to expect me to build a brutal melee tank, but I've been saving up caster ideas since before we even switched to 3rd ed. Level 11 is just enough to build two ridiculous comboes together! I can whip out the Illumian race for crazy multiclass caster abilities, like using my Dex for bonus spells and half-power Practiced Spellcaster for free. With the Spellwarp Sniper PrC I can turn almost any AoE into a ray spell, and if the original spell had a Reflex save, it becomes NO-save. Whip out Sandblast, a level 1 Druid spell with crap range, crappy non-lethal damage but a 1-round Stun (reflex negates), and I have spammable automatic stunning. If they think that's broken, wait till I use the Easy Metamagic and MetamagicSchoolFocus feats to knock Persistent Spell down to four-slots, and make it FREE once per day as a Magical Trickster. Now THAT's worth losing caster-levels for! http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=466 |
| AGC #467 | {{The Author's Notes below include a link to the character sheets for Nuclear Dan's villain, Tetsuo the Endbringer, and for Jill's character, Rugaru}}
/ [[Dan plans his character, and in the background is a caricature of his character, a cloaked stickman in a bubble of energy, backed up by throngs of stick-figures with torches]]
/ Dan: Man, Dragon-shamans can't burn things for crap, and the guys kept making fun of my fire-breath. Time to get back to hardcore burning! I'm going burn things so hard, cultists will flock to worship me as the Endbringer! Hmm, I need cultists who won't care if I accidentally burn some of them. Or all of them... better buy some Charisma. Now lets see, how can I magnify my firepower using randomness... Wilder looks cool, then this Anarchic Initiate thingy... wow, most of this class sucks, but it does give me random explosive destruction. Hmm, all my feats are either GARBAGE-TRASH prereqs, or Expanded Knowledge because stupid Wilders only get like five spells or some crap. This psionics junk had better not suck... Okay, buy some random items and... done! Now I can go back to playing WoW until Saturday. / [[Between frames]]
/ Davros: For the Eberron campaign, I thought allowing flaws would give the guys a little more room to minmax their lower-level characters. In hindsight, I'm not sure they were a good idea, and I'm sure the Evil characters will be crazy enough already. So I'm not allowing flaws this time around. / [[Jill plans her character, while in the background a caricature of his large shadowy figure approaches an arch (resembling a more simplified Torii) and two monks are moving to attack him]]
/ {{Mousing over the middle of the image reveals a brief action-comic [no dialogue] depicting Jill's character fighting the two monks}}
/ Jill: Joe's going to expect me to build an overwhelming hard-caster, but I've been saving up melee character ideas since before we even switched to 3rd ed. I'm going to make him regret giving me that extra level! The Changeling race from Eberron has no useful stats, and their shapeshifting is at best a strong roleplaying power, but at zero ECL they qualify automatically for the ludicrously overpowered Warshaper PrC. If I max my concentration I can grab the Steady Concentration feat and a couple Diamond Mind maneuvers from a single Warblade level, and suddenly I automatically pass Ref and Fort saves at least once per encounter. Pile on a little Magic of Incarnum... I can make a strong argument for Davros to allow the magic ring I want... and I have a perfect fighting-game boss. Crazy reach? Check. Special immunities? Check. Superspeed? Check. Forcefield? Check. Dragon-punch-style interrupt move? Check. http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=467 |
| AGC #468 | [Dan is sitting at his computer]
/ Dan: Okay, the engineering guide says the next thing I need is 40 Adamantite Bars plus a bunch more Fel Iron Bolts to grind out Adamantine Grenades... plus I need six Heavy Knothide Leather, because apparently my future cloth headgear is made of leather now. / [NuclearDan (Dan's undead mage in World of Warcraft) stands in the doorway of the Orgrimmar Auction House. AtomicGestalt and her pet felhunter (named Fleshbreath) show up outside]
/ NuclearDan: 80 GOLD PER STACK? They make these out of rocks that come out of the ground! How they HELL do they cost 80 gold per stack? GOLD doesn't cost 80 gold per stack!
/ AtomicGestalt: It might soon, with all the Jewelcrafters running around now...
/ NuclearDan: AG! Haven't seen you around much. I'm just trying to powerlevel my engineering...
/ AtomigGestalt: I could help you out with some more gold.
/ NuclearDan: No way, you guys have already given me way more gold than I've earned myself. / NuclearDan: Nerfbat said you pulled out of the raid group?
/ AtomicGestalt: Ya, I don't have time right now. I've been flattened at school.
/ NuclearDan: You're still in school?
/ AtomicGestalt: Not for much longer... I just need to write papers on a couple of key decisions, take my Bar exam, then I'm done. Of course, then I'll have to find a job...
/ NuclearDan: So you like to go out drinking?
/ AtomicGestalt: No... well, sometimes, but I'm talking about the Bar exam, to complete my Law degree. / NuclearDan: Ohhhh... THEN you go out drinking.
/ AtomicGestalt: lol, probably. The cramming is really starting to stress me out.
/ NuclearDan: Pfft, I don't see why you should be worried. You're like a supergenius. You're a good enough rules-lawyer that you HAVE to be good as a lawyer-lawyer.
/ AtomicGestalt: Aww, thanks. I'd get a lot more respect if I could just bring my Merciless Gladiator's Battle Staff into the courtroom.
/ NuclearDan: Felhunter OBJECTS to your motion!
/ AtomicGestalt: Ah yes, I think my professor mentioned that one: Lex SpellLockis derogat legi generali. / {{Author's Note: Lex specialis derogat legi generali, 'the specific law takes precedence over the more general law', is actually a core principle of nearly all game rules. For example, you can not take more than one attack of opportunity before your turn... but Combat Reflexes says you can take an additional AoO per point of Dex bonus, so the feat wins out over the general rule. In CCGs it's often called 'the Golden Rule', that what is printed on a card takes precedence over what it says in the rulebook.}} http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=468 |
| AGC #469 | [[Game session begins...]]
/ Davros: Now, as I told you each while working out your backstories, we're actually holding the Evil Campaign in Steele's campaign world, which is very familiar to most of you. Ron, I'll try to fill you in where necessary. The timeframe is about the same as the non-evil campaign that is currently suspended, but to make the ground rules ABUNDENTLY clear, you CANNOT come into contact or influence your hero characters in any way. They are currently in the vicinity of Northgate, while your villains will be mainly in the Southern half of the continent, and even if you get some excuse to head further North, I'm telling you now, I simply won't allow you to 'go after' or otherwise interfere with the heroes at all. Northgate is strictly off limits.
/ Joe: I think we've got it.
/ Bateman: You can just call me Bateman, everybody else does. / Davros: Each of you has been summoned by a legendary shadowy figure, known as the Lord of Hate. He has promised you almost unbelievable rewards, but his reputation is such that you almost believe he can deliver, and that chance has brought all of you to a very ugly bar in Osgoode's Folly, a town on the edge of the Valastrom wastes.
/ Jill: Do we know about the others? {{Secret Note to GM: I'm using my minor shapeshift to shrink down my appearance to that murky gray-area between large and medium size... about 8 feet tall and slightly less than my full muscle mass.}}
/ Davros: You know THAT he has called others. The Lord of Hate's Sending warned that you will need help in his tasks, and he told each of you the name of one of the others. Here's a note for each of you with one name, and what you know about that villain's reputation.
/ Bateman: It's like a villainous mixer.
/ Dan: I bet the players stand out like sore thumbs. {{Secret Note to GM: I'll only bring a handful of my level one minions into the bar, plus my rogue cohort. And we'll sit separately. And I cast Vigor for 10 pts before going in.}} / [[The players are all looking at the small cards the GM handed out]]
/ Davros: Maybe. Sitting at the bar are an 7-foot hunchback with bulging muscles, a shapely woman in head-to-toe black leather with a pair of katanas strapped to her back, a Gith in an ornate gemmed gi, and a dark-skinned half-orc in full plate.
/ Dan: See, that must be them...
/ Davros: Sitting at various tables are a pale spiky-haired human in torn grey robes and cape, a trio of men and orcs all with tall mohawks and cutlasses, a tall brownskinned elf in red cloak and matching red Masquerade mask, and a thri-kreen carrying two pairs of rapiers.
/ Dan: Or maybe them...
/ Joe: A villainous mixer at the star wars Cantina... {{Secret Note to GM: I never actually enter the bar, instead I hover outside the window on my broom, looking for obvious See-Invis gear, like eyepatches, dragon helms or suspicous lanterns.}} / Davros: Lastly, standing at various points around the room you notice a full plate-wearing gnoll, a Derro dwarf with large pupilless glowing eyes and runic full plate, a eight-foot tall eyepatched man with a blond mustache and an oversized blue trenchcoat, and a gray-skinned gnome in a very expensive-looking black chain shirt.
/ Dan: You're just trying to prove me wrong now.
/ Davros: I mostly want to see who makes the first move, and how you guys interract.
/ Jill: Don't look at me.
/ Joe: I'm definitely not making the first move.
/ Dan: Sounds like a job for the new guy.
/ Jill: I agree! Bateman, you're going first.
/ Bateman: Gee thanks. http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=469 |
| AGC #470 | [After describing about a dozen of the bar patrons, including the PCs]
/ Bateman: I'll approach the eight-foot man with the eyepatch and massive blue coat. "Aren't you the one they call Rugaru?"
/ Jill: "Who's asking?" And by the way, who IS asking? Appearance-wise?
/ Davros: It's the tall elf in red. His Masquerade mask isn't the hand-held type, it goes around his whole head, and looks to be made of rubber or something.
/ Joe: "That would be the outcast, Count Massari." {{SECRET NOTE TO GM: I'm using Ventriloquism through the window, keeping those two out of line-of-sight.}}
/ Bateman: Who said that?
/ Davros: Oddly, nobody. The voice is somewhere on the west side of the room, but you don't see any speaker. / Dan: "Someone who's afraid to show his face? Or maybe he doesn't have one..."
/ Davros: That was the pale spiky-haired human whose grey clothing looks all torn up.
/ Joe: "Perhaps I don't"
/ Jill: I look around for him the source of that voice. {{SECRET NOTE TO GM: I activate my Corsair's Eyepatch to See Invis for one round.}}
/ Davros: I'm afraid you still can't find where the voice is coming from.
/ Jill: I turn to the little man in grey. "I recognize you, you are the one they call 'Endbringer'. You've killed a lot of men."
/ Dan: "And women, children, animals... I don't kill people - I kill cities."
/ Bateman: "For what purpose?"
/ Dan: Tetsuo just grins. / Davros: The thri-kreen stands up, drawing his quad-rapiers. "The elf is right, you're Rugaru the Bloody! Your head is worth a lot of money."
/ Jill: Rugaru lets out a deep, mighty laugh. "Money? How trivial..."
/ Davros: The leather-clad woman makes no move from the bar, coolly stating: "You'll have a hard time collecting it, since his face is different on every Wanted poster."
/ Meanwhile, the whisper gnome has moved over beside the Derro, "That's nothing; have you seen the bounty on Tetsuo the 'Endbringer'? He destroyed three cities last month. We can sell half his head each to two different kingdoms and then retire!" The Derro replies "Just make it a clean vertical cut, right down the nose. Top and bottom halves may be a tough sell."
/ Dan: Tetsuo takes a drink without standing up. "Are you going to take that, Domovoi? They're talking as if you aren't even there."
/ Joe: My voice is behind the thri-kreen now: "You won't find my face on any poster." / [Several initiative rolls later...]
/ Davros: The whisper gnome casts Silence centered on himself.
/ Dan: Ha! Psionics cares not for your verbal components! Hurry up and get to my turn.
/ Bateman: So silence doesn't affect your casting? That's pretty cool.
/ Jill: Rugaru raises one hand, letting the loose sleeve fall away and revealing 4 large ephemeral claws surrounding his hand. That's it for now. {{SECRET NOTE TO GM: I ready a Vicious Strike against any spellcasting in my reach.}}
/ Bateman: I'll activate my Ring of Blinking.
/ Dan: To max-damage 40' radius AoE the entire tavern, or NOT to max-damage 40' radius AoE the tavern; THAT is the question... http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=470 |
| AGC #471 | [[A tense bar full of villains, ruffians and bounty hunters is about to explode in violence...]]
/ Dan: Okay, I cast...
/ Davros: Actually, it's not your turn yet.
/ Dan: Aw, stupid initiative. Hurry up then!
/ Davros: The four-armed locust-like thri-kreen leaps towards Rugaru.
/ Jill: My attack of opportunity hits AC 30. Take 22 damage.
/ Joe: Reach weapon?
/ Jill: Claw.
/ Davros: Then he pounce attacks you hitting three times, two of which crit.
/ Jill: I laugh wholeheartedly at his wasted life. {{THINKING: Good thing I'm immune to crits!}} / Davros: So Rugaru takes 26 damage...
/ Bateman: Per hit?
/ Davros: Total.
/ Joe: That's it? With two crits? What kind of crappy build is that bug running?
/ Davros: Next up is the armored derro dwarf who starts silently casting from a runed tablet...
/ Dan: Aw come on, when the hell do I go?
/ Davros: Your initiative is 9, so you'll go when we get down to 9.
/ Jill: If he's casting, I'll use my readied action to rip his freakin' heart out. Take fifty damage.
/ Bateman: FIFTY? Like five-zero? {{THINKING: How can she DO that much damage without Sneak Attack? On my backstab I'd have to roll like 10 fives...}}
/ Joe: Wait, he's fifteen feet away, even if you're a large creature your claws can't reach that far. / Davros: Well, he does. The derro survives, no thanks to his full plate, but obviously he loses his spell. Panicking, he uses his move action to flee out the door...
/ Jill: No escape, loser! Leaving my threatened area earns you another AoO, AC 27?
/ Joe: Your 15-foot threatened area?
/ Davros: That hits, and he dies from a bloody claw shredding his head from behind. Joe's turn.
/ Dan: I'm last aren't I?
/ Davros: Technically... yes.
/ Joe: I'm not in the Silence radius, so I'll hit the thri-kreen from behind with a pinpoint ray, stunning him for one round and inflicting six damage. {{SECRET NOTE TO GM: Then I fly out the window.}}
/ Jill: Six? You're kidding me? Six whole damage?
/ Dan: NOW? / Davros: Go ahead, Dan.
/ Dan: Tetsuo stand up, and you can almost see reality warping around him as he summons his power...
/ Joe: Here we go.
/ Dan: I max-power Anarchic Wildsurge Energy Burst: Fire! Eat a 40' radius AoE centered on myself for... aw crap, I flunked my Anarchic.
/ Jill: Psychic Enervation?
/ Dan: No, my Wildsurge roll was fine, but the powers of chaos decided I only did half damage. 39 damage, DC 25 for half.
/ Jill: This is starting to look sad. Hands up who got a kill first round...
/ Dan: Do non-combattants count? I must have got SOMEBODY...
/ Joe: Hmm... {{THINKING: If that's a bad Anarchic Surge then on a good surge he can AoE for over 110, and I can't rule out up to 150 until I learn more about his build...}} http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=471 |
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