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| Guest Lecture #1 - O31 | Cartoon wall text: Phrases you don?t hear often in a post-apocalyptic world: let?s do lunch. Space; The final frontier. Nice weather we?re having. Thank god it?s Friday! It?s not like it?s the end of the world. Where?s the beef?
/ Pose: random cartoon guy standing on the right spray-painting a wall ... http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture1.html |
| Lesson #1 - Best Years | Blackboard: If the "best years" of your life took place in high school, then, for your sake, I hope you died tragically at nineteen. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson1.html |
| Recitation #1 - Why | Blackboard: Those who want to make others laugh regularly, do standup.\
/ Those who can't do standup, draw comics.\
/ Those who can't draw, take pictures.\
/ Pose: Dante, left side of board, arms crossed, looking with wide smile at camera\ http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation1.html |
| Student Presentation #1 - Ethical Theories | Whiteboard: How to ethically cheat at poker; according to:
/ Hobbes -> Tax the winnings of every hand for the good of the "sovreign" (you)
/ Kant -> "If I cheat, you can cheat too" (This doesn't work as effectively)
/ Nietzsche -> Wear a superman shirt, and coerce the other players into showing you their... http://survivingtheworld.net/StudentPresentation1.html |
| Guest Lecture #2 - Skidmore Bluffs | Whiteboard text: How chalkboards are superior: 1. Satisfying tapping sound when writing. 2. No annoying glare. 3. Clapping whiteboard erasers isn?t much of a punishment.
/ Pose: Zander standing to the left of the board holding 2 whiteboard erasers looking questioningly at the camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture2.html |
| Lesson #2 - Dieting | Blackboard: - Low-fat wheat thins are mostly pointless if you're still going to eat the entire box
/ Pose: Dante on left, hand on desk, neutral look at camera
/ File under: Dieting http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson2.html |
| Recitation #2 - Why Are We Here | Blackboard: Q: Why are we here on Earth?\
/ A: To eat croissants.\
/ (Keep up the good work, you French people!)\
/ Pose: Dante, right side of board, arms crossed, neutral look at camera\ http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation2.html |
| Student Presentation #2 - Attraction | Whiteboard: Ladies, No matter how old we get, even the most average looking guy will become totally hot with the simple addition of a motercycle
/ Pose: Amanda giving a judging look at the camera from the left side of the whiteboard / Whiteboard: Example 1 - Stick Figure
/ Pose: Amanda giving "talk to... http://survivingtheworld.net/StudentPresentation2.html |
| Guest Lecture #3 - Ithacork | Blackboard text: if you want to evolve a society of really good whistlers, do the following: at the age of 15, every child must attempt to whistle Yankee Doodle with a mouth full of saltine crackers. If they can do it: have them procreate! If they can?t: BLAM!
/ Pose: Tom Mansell in an Orioles hat to... http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture3.html |
| Lesson #3 - College Majors | Blackboard: Frame 1-(u)The Right way to pick your major (/u) -What are your interests? -What is your college known for? -What will you enjoy in twenty years? Are there Jobs?
/ Frame 2- (dart board with majors inside) complete miss=English, Double Major-Next adjacent clock-wise, Triple Major-Both... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson3.html |
| Recitation #3 - Flying | Blackboard: (panel 1) Q: (From Rick in Charlotte, NC)\
/ With extreme paranoia and heightened security obviously present in airports everywhere, what is the worst thing you can do in an airport and still get away with it?\
/ (panel 2) A: There's not a lot that won't lead to hours of questioning, but it's... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation3.html |
| Student Presentation #3 - Microwave Tips | Blackboard: Microwave Tip #42 Cat food explodes in seven seconds. / Pose: Diane standing on the right with a handheld blue chalkboard pointing at the writing. http://survivingtheworld.net/StudentPresentation3.html |
| Guest Lecture #4 - Union of Heroes | Blackboard text: The main difference between comics from USA and Germany: USA: 90% superheroes 10% self-centered biographical black and white stories. Germany: 0.00^% superheroes. The American mainstream is the German underground ? and vice versa?
/ Pose: Arne Schulenberg standing to the right pointing... http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture4.html |
| Lesson #4 - Compromising | Blackboard: If your wife wants to get a cat, and you want to get a dog instead, compromising does not mean you go and get two cats.
/ Pose: Dante on left chalk in hand pointing at board
/ File under: Pets, Relationships. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson4.html |
| Recitation #4 - Base of Operations | Blackboard: (panel 1) Q: (From Arondight at Rutgers University)\
/ What school are you coming from?\
/ A: STW is run as an independent outreach program from the Fred Paulson Institute in Wincheck City, Pennsylvania.\
/ (panel 2) You probably know our fight song.\
/ (Sung): In the heart of Pennsylvania\
/ Since... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation4.html |
| Student Presentation #4 - Picketing | Chalkboard: Dear anti-war picketers, It's been over 8 years, and people are pretty set in their opinions. Standing on street corners holding signs isn't going to dissuade anyone, much less end a war.
/ Pose: Ben standing on the right with his hands on his hips. / Chalkboard: Here are some suggestions... http://survivingtheworld.net/StudentPresentation4.html |
| Guest Lecture #5 - Sarahthe | Wall text: When you get old you will become either: a.) Fat or b.) Wrinkled don?t complain about your wrinkles. At least they aren?t contributing to your heart disease.
/ Pose: Spray painted Bill Murray in the middle of the comic http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture5.html |
| Lesson #5 - Fame | Blackboard:Graph- y-axis:Skill Required, x-axis:Fame. listed from y to x: Scientist, Author, Musician, Athlete, Actor/Actress, Made a sex tape / Pose:Dante right side, serious stare pointing just above musician line. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson5.html |
| Recitation #5 - The Creative Process | Blackboard: (panel 1) Q) (From Michael in Seattle)\
/ How does the webcomic creative process work?\
/ (panel 2) (Flow chart)\
/ Need an idea -> Stop working\
/ Stop working -> Walk around outside\
/ Stop working -> Surf the internet\
/ Walk around outside -> See something\
/ Surf the internet -> See something\
/ See... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation5.html |
| Student Presentation #5 - Phone Calls From Children | Blackboard: Things parents dread hearing on on the phone from their children
/ -Did you see where I left the Snake?
/ -Do you have the bail money?
/ Pose: None / Blackboard: Things parents dread hearing on the phone from their children
/ -Did the lab call with the STD results?
/ -Did you get a call from... http://survivingtheworld.net/StudentPresentation5.html |
| Guest Lecture #6 - Spenser | Whiteboard text: Writing effectively is very hard when you tend to make lots of graham are miss steaks.
/ Pose: Spenser standing to the right of the board looking neutrally at the camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture6.html |
| Lesson #6 - Marriage | Blackboard: Dear parents, Eloping may still always be a poor decision, but admit, it's certainly more cost-effective.
/ Pose: Dante on left, thumb pointing at blackboard.
/ File under: Romance http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson6.html |
| Recitation #6 - Hate Mail | Blackboard: (panel 1) Q) (From Jason in Chicago)\
/ You suck and you're offensive. Thanks for wasting my time.\
/ A) That's not really a question. In fact, it's more of an answer, which could have worked for a question, like, oh, say,\
/ "Hey, Jason, what were your wife's final words to remind you you're... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation6.html |
| Student Presentation #6 - Fairy Tales | Blackboard: Lessons you should learn from fairy tales
/ Snow White/The Frog Prince -> True Beautiy lies in purity of heart
/ Sleeping Beauty/Beauty & the Beast -> True love conquers all
/ Emperor's New Clothes -> Outer fineries do not a man make
/ Aladdin -> Good things come to those who are worthy
/ Alice... http://survivingtheworld.net/StudentPresentation6.html |
| Guest Lecture #7 - Andrew Rees | Blackboard text: If you?re known by more people than you know personally, then chances are you?re famous? or an alcoholic.
/ Pose: Andy Rees standing to the right of the board with a glass of beer in his hand, looking relaxed which is in a bar
/ Bonus pose. Same, but drinking the beer. http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture7.html |
| Lesson #7 - College Location | Blackboard: What your college choice says about you and your parents
/ - Home
/ - 0 -45 min. "My Mom still does my laundry"
/ - 46 min - 2 Hr 30 min. "Dad can still drive by if I really need him to"
/ - 2 Hr 31 min - 5 Hr. "It's time I showed I really can be... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson7.html |
| Recitation #7 - Interruptions | Blackboard: Q) (From Sam in Canada)\
/ How often does STW get interrupted while you're teaching us by someone walking in? Is it awkward when it does happen?\
/ A) We rarely get interrupted, and even then, it's usually by the janitor.\
/ But try explaining to them why you have "sex tape" written on the board...\
/ Pose:... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation7.html |
| Student Presentation #7 - Accepting Christmas Gifts | Whiteboard: No Matter How Old: Never look a gift (horse) pony in the mouth.
/ Pose: KT on the right of the whiteboard giving a stuffed toy pony a death hug while sitting on it. On the whiteboard horse is crossed out and pony is written on top as a correction. http://survivingtheworld.net/StudentPresentation7.html |
| Guest Lecture #8 - Christopher Moore - "Great Post-its Through History" | Post it text: Vincent: Cat ate your ear sorry, Gaugain
/ Pose: Christopher Moore standing to the left of an unfinished Van Gogh painting looking wide eyed at the camera with a paintbrush in his hand. http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture8.html |
| Lesson #8 - Grammar | Blackboard: Your.
/ You're.
/ For the love of God, get it right.
/ Pose: Dante on left, chalk in hand pointing at blackboard, looking very serious
/ File under: Grammar, Society http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson8.html |
| Recitation #8 - Hot Dogs and Haggis | Blackboard: (panel 1) Q:) (From Adam in London)\
/ You're based in America, right?\
/ So tell me, what is a hot dog really made of?\
/ (panel 2) A:) Hot dogs are kind of like the counterintuitive opposite of haggis.\
/ People can tell you exactly what haggis is made of, which is why most people do not want... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation8.html |
| Student Presentation #8 - Psychoanalyze That | Blackboard: Why literary theorists shouldn't give post break up advice... Structuralists (Fish) "So... the signifier is no longer the signified? It's an arbitrary system anyway. You'll figure it out."
/ Pose: Britt on left shrugging her shoulders giving a quizical look. / Blackboard: Why literary theorists... http://survivingtheworld.net/StudentPresentation8.html |
| Guest Lecture #9 - Zach Weiner | Cartoon blackboard text: research: hypothesis: experiment: theory: wait for older generation of scientists to die. The scientific method!
/ Pose: Cartoon Zach Weiner naked pointing to the blackboard with a piece of chalk looking neutral. http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture9.html |
| Lesson #9 - Decisions | First image - A graph, with "Ability to make good decisions" on the Y axis, and "Years of Age" on the X axis. The line follows a 45 degree angle, with the text "Ideal Situation".
/ Second Image - The same graph, but with the "Realistic Situation". It depicts a climbing wave; the line begins to rise at... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson9.html |
| Recitation #9 - Nuns (Or, A Comic In Four Panels) | Blackboard: (panel 1) Q:) (From Jeremy in Hartford)\
/ Nuns--do they or do they not shave their legs?\
/ (panel 2) Q:) (From Jeremy in Hartford)\
/ Nuns--do they or do they not shave their legs?\
/ (panel 3) Q:) (From Jeremy in Hartford)\
/ Nuns--do they or do they not shave their legs?\
/ (panel 4) A:) Seriously?\
/ (Please... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation9.html |
| Student Presentation #9 - Chemistry Career Advice | Blackboard: If you're thinking about pursuing a degree in Chemistry, you should know that you have approximately 3 options after graduating.
/ Pose: Drew and Matt on either side of the blackboard. Guy on right is pointing at the text while guy on left has his arms crossed. / Blackboard: Option #1: Obtain... http://survivingtheworld.net/StudentPresentation9.html |
| Guest Lecture #10 - Jessica Hagy - "The Perfect Kiss" | Text: Look Listen Swoon Touch Smell Taste
/ Style: going around in a circle with an arrow pointing to the next word with taste pointing to look to complete the circle http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture10.html |
| Lesson #10 - Politics | Blackboard: If toddlers ran the world, the future of Iraq would be settled by the World Series of Hungry, Hungry Hippos.
/ Pose: Dante on right, chalk in hand pointing at blackboard.
/ File under: Children, Politics. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson10.html |
| Recitation #10 - Questions For Teachers | Blackboard: (panel 1) Q:) (From Michelle in Australia)\
/ How does one survive in high school when you're being graded, while still finding a way to mock one's teachers?\
/ (panel 2) A) The key is to ask questions that seem to legitimately approach their area of expertise, but are actually designed to... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation10.html |
| Student Presentation #10 - Writing Essay For College Applications | Blackboard: Guide to Writing Essays for Highly Selective colleges / Read Essay Prompt -> Do you know this topic? -> Yes -> Does it reveal your personality? -> Yes -> Write about yourself
/ | | |
/ ... http://survivingtheworld.net/StudentPresentation10.html |
| Guest Lecture #11 - Old Hoss Radbourn | Whiteboard text: There are too many of these deuced newfangled stats! Vorp fip dips eqa pecota They are ruining the game of baseball.
/ Bah! In my day, we had but one stat. it was calculated thusly (um? I have no idea how to put that equation into text form from here) It later proved popular with an... http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture11.html |
| Lesson #11 - College Choosing, Part I | Bad way to choose a college
/ ______________________________________
/ - Whether the mascot could beat/eat your high school mascot in a fight
/ Pose: Invisible Dante (close-up on blackboard) http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson11.html |
| Recitation #11 - Facebook Rejections | Q) (From Dave in San Francisco)
/ How do you properly reject a Facebook friend request? / A) Depends who it is coming from, so you cna prepare the appropriate amount of snark. / Pose: Dante, right of blackboard, holding piece of paper, slightly bemused/questioning look on face. / Next panel: / Who... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation11.html |
| Guest Lecture #12 - Steve Wyckoff | Blackboard text: Pets are a great way to meet women. But, if you cant afford a real dog, you can always use an invisible one. Plus, if she?s cool enough to play along, she might be a keeper.
/ Pose: Steve Wyckoff standing to the left giving the thumbs up looking happy. http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture12.html |
| Lesson #12 - Sleepwalking | Blackboard: Have you ever had sex while sleepwalking? Supposedly, it's great for the woman. / Pose: Dante facing the blackboard with his head down in shame emphasizing the word woman by holding the chalk to the end of that word. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson12.html |
| Recitation #12 - Erasers | Blackboard: Q:) (From Henry in Brussels) Just out of curiosity?How hard is it for you to figure out how to erase a blackboard properly? / A:) Hey, we know how to erase a board! ?We just don?t always have our squeegee with us. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, first pane reading question from... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation12.html |
| Guest Lecture #13 - Rosscott | Whiteboard text: (inside larger circle on the left) ways listed online to get rid of fruit flies (smaller circle on the right) effective ways to kill fruit flies* *Note: if I knew what they were, I probably would?ve made a joke about something else, posted my findings online, and saved us all a lot... http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture13.html |
| Lesson #13 - Anti-drugs | Blackboard: Does PeTA see the anti-marijuana ads meant for teens and begin to think up anti-catnips ads like: Dogs. My Anti-drug. Meow? / Pose: Dante looking very seriously at the camera, while holding the chalk to the board. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson13.html |
| Recitation #13 - Castaways | Blackboard: Q) (From Liz in Elizabethtown, NJ) At what point should you be willing to eat and kill your fellow castaways? / A) Rank everyone you?re with according to their usefulness, how much food you have left, and your fellow castaway?s psychological status. / (Graphically) Work with them until... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation13.html |
| Guest Lecture #14 - Brent | Blackboard text: Three stages of internet media addiction: 1. Emotional: ?Hey, did you see the latest Surviving the World?? 2. Mental. ?I can only do homework with podcasts on.? 3. Physical: ?I require Isa Glass?s voice to achieve sexual climax.?
/ Pose: Brent standing off to the left in an aluminized... http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture14.html |
| Lesson #14 - Friendship | Blackboard: Everybody wants to be a friend when you've got something* you can give them. *-except Gonorrhea. / Pose: Dante pointing at gonorrhea, looking at the camera pleading for you not to spread STDs. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson14.html |
| Recitation #14 - Love | Blackboard: Q:) (From Jaclyn in Vancouver) How do I know if he really loves me? / A:) We?re not love doctors, but fortunately for you, there?s an easy flowchart for you to follow. / (Flowchart) So you want to know if he loves you > How are you feeling about it? >
/ just curious, a little nervous... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation14.html |
| Guest Lecture #15 - Hallelujah the Hills | Blackboard text: I have found that I am routinely rewarded for paying attention to coincidence. The more open I feel, the more coincidences I notice, and the more I understand my life as a detailed map of connectivity. Try this: the next time you experience a coincidence ask yourself ?why would this... http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture15.html |
| Lesson #15 - Family Movies | Blackboard: Movies to show your kids : Requiem for a Dream (so they never do drugs). Super Size Me (so they eat more than fast food). Rudy (so they never give up). Carrie (so they never piss off a telekinetic) / Pose: Dante pointing at the blackboard with his index finger, looking at the camera neu... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson15.html |
| Recitation #15 - Guest Beds | Blackboard: Q:) (From Nelson in Whitehorse, Yukon) Why is it when people are ready to get rid of their own bed that it becomes the guest bed?
/ A:) You might think the answer is related to laziness, or to an attempt at being frugal, but really, it?s all part of a well-thought out plan to make sure house... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation15.html |
| Guest Lecture #16 - Dave McElfatrick (Cyanide & Happiness) | Blackboard text: as an Irishman who lives in the U.S.A, American girls seem to consider me ?exotic? because I?m from so far away. Likewise, when I now visit home, Irish girls seem to consider me ?exotic? because I?m seen as ?worldly?. What I?m saying is- if you really like someone and want to be with... http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture16.html |
| Lesson #16 - Vegetarians | Blackboard: Vegetarians. Also A White Meat. / Pose: Dante arms folded, leaning against the blackboard looking at the camera with head cocked to the side like ?What's up?? http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson16.html |
| Recitation #16 - Animal Cognition | Blackboard: Q:) (From Robin in Germany) Can animals think?
/ A:) Are you kidding? Once a cat realizes that you?re not a fan of cats, it will enter a room, meow once, promptly walk over to you, and ?spontaneously?, throw up on your foot. Yeah ? animals can think ? and unfortunately, they can hold grudges,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation16.html |
| Guest Lecture #17 - Zander Speaks (Skidmore Bluffs) | Blackboard text: when your manager asks you to give 110% remind him or her that an 8 hour work week is only 23.8% of your life, and humans can?t stay perfectly focused for 8 hours straight much less 26.4 hours. (Pie chart) Sleep 33.3% work 23.8% other 57.13% your life: (1 week) (line graph, productivity... http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture17.html |
| Lesson #17 - The President | Blackboard: Requirements for holding the office of the President of the United States; 1.) Any Race 2.) Any Gender 3.) Any Creed 4.) At least 35 years old 5.) U.S. Born 6.) Not a Zombie / Pose : Dante pointing at the blackboard with his finger with neutral expression. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson17.html |
| Recitation #17 - The Zombie Apocalypse | Blackboard: Q) (From Rob in Newark, DE) What?s the ideal place to hold out in if the zombie apocalypse occurs?
/ A) If you can get to a second floor or higher apartment that is well-stocked, and you can knock out and destroy the stairs behind you, that?s your second best option. Ideally, you could... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation17.html |
| Guest Lecture #18 - Jason Oberholtzer (I Love Charts) | Floating text: looks like the four horsemen of the apocalypse were an earthquake, a hurricane, a Kardasian wedding and Steve Jobs? resignation
/ Pose: Jason Oberholzer pointing at the floating text looking seriously at the camera in a living room. http://survivingtheworld.net/GuestLecture18.html |
| Lesson #18 - Two-Timing | Blackboard: Venn diagram; People who are truly happy & People who are dating two other people. The overlap are The people who can pull it off (also some polygamists) / Pose: Pointing at the blackboard with a neutral expression, that his wife surely believes. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson18.html |
| Recitation #18 - Family Lessons | Blackboard: Q) (From Mari in Knoxville) I am a grandmother to two little boys. What is the greatest bit of wisdom that a grandmother can bestow upon her grandchildren?
/ A) It?s history ? what you?ve seen and what you?ve learned from it, so they will better understand about their place in the world.... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation18.html |
| Lesson #19 - Camp | Blackboard: What your kids will actually learn at camp : How to swear, That fire is awesome, Several songs that they will sing until they are stuck in your head, maybe arts & crafts / Pose: Dante pointing the chalk at the board, looking thoughtfully http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson19.html |
| Recitation #19 - Creeping People Out, Part V | Blackboard: Q) (From Stephanie in Monroe, WA) How do you creep creepy people out?
/ A) 1) Find an axe or chainsaw
/ 2) Carry it around all the time
/ 3) Hold it very nonchalantly
/ 4) Whistle a lot
/ 5) See where things go from there? / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, holding paper and pointing at... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation19.html |
| Lesson #20 - Minority Status | Blackboard: Plot of "Minority Status of White Scientists from the Eastern USA" versus "Years in School". Beginning of College. Beginning of Grad school.
/ Pose: Dante, right side of the board, with arms crossed, with neutral expression on face http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson20.html |
| Recitation #20 - Pavlov and Schrodinger | Blackboard: Q) (From Paolo in Williamsburg) Who would win in a fight ? Pavlov?s dog or Schrodinger?s cat?
/ A) Oh, what a fight that would be! Just imagine it getting announced in the voice of your favorite sports announcer!
/ ?In the red corner, the defending champion, that sly salivator, the conditioned... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation20.html |
| Lesson #21 - Future Career | Blackboard: (Flow chart) The progression of career goals : Turtle → Baseball player → Veterinarian → Writer → Teacher → Engineer → Professor → Anything but in school anymore / Pose: Dante arm extended pointing at board with chalk in hand, neutral express... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson21.html |
| Recitation #21 - Comebacks | Blackboard: Q) (From Emily in Minnesota)\
/ What's the best, most universal witty comeback?\
/ A) "You belong in a zoo!"\
/ Pose: Dante, right side of board, pointing with chalk to the board, other hand pointing at camera, neutral look at camera\ http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation21.html |
| Lesson #22 - Relationship Curve | Blackboard: The ?Significant Other? Attention curve: (bottom of the left side) who? → Disinterested → Hard-to-Get → Long Distance Relationship → Pure Bliss (top of the curve) → clingy → needy → stalkerish → AAAAH! She's got a knife! (bottom of right side) / Pose:... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson22.html |
| Recitation #22 - Energy Boosts | Blackboard: (panel 1) Q) (From FC2 Geis aboard the USS McCampbell)\
/ We work long hours out here. I was wondering--what is the best quick energy boost?\
/ A) Anyone who has tried pulling an all-nighter, downed a bunch of caffeine to help, and then been too buzzed to accomplish anything, knows there must... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation22.html |
| Lesson #23 - Bounds of Friendship | Blackboard: How to determine the bounds of a friendship : 1) Send the friend a box springloaded to launch a jellyfish when opened 2) See if said friend will let you urinate on the sting / Pose: Dante arms folded, leaning against board, looking at camera challengingly. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson23.html |
| Recitation #23 - Hospital Stays | Blackboard: (panel 1) Q) (From Liz in the Long Beach Memorial Hospital)\
/ I'm stuck here in the hospital for two weeks. It gives me plenty of time to lose my mind.\
/ Are there any creative ways to alleviate hospital boredom?\
/ (panel 2) A) Sure! Take your pick.\
/ -Design a hospital gown that doesn't... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation23.html |
| Lesson #24 - Song Lyrics | Blackboard: Songwriters can keep trying, but no lyric from now until eternity will ever top ?It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.? And no, that's no ironic either. / Pose: Dante arms folded, leaning sideways on the board, looking deep-straight into the camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson24.html |
| Recitation #24 - Lost Loves | Blackboard: (panel 1) Q) (From Jaysin in Aberdeen)\
/ How do you forget a lost love?\
/ A) Congratulations on asking a complete downer of a question and bringing up depressing memories for everyone else in class! Still...\
/ (panel 2) (Flow chart)\
/ So you've got a lost love -> Don't go binge drinking to... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation24.html |
| Lesson #25 - Carpe Diem | Blackboard: Nothing* in life is fixed or set in stone, so get out there and carpe the hell out of the diem.
/ *-Except politics and the NBA. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, looking left, pointing at board with chalk in hand. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson25.html |
| Recitation #25 - Orientation | Blackboard: Q) (From Carl in Wales) What should a person do to prepare themselves for the first week of university? A) or the first week of college? or of Institute? (or not "of institute" - that makes it sound phychological.) Look, if it's your first year, just be ready to open yourself up to the... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation25.html |
| Lesson #26 - Laboratory Safety | Blackboard: For when you just don't feel like wearing sneakers to the lab.
/ Pose: Dante, left side of the board, knee raised showing foot. Face not shown http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson26.html |
| Recitation #26 - Cat Diplomacy | Blackboard: Q) (from Corey in Westminster) How do I get my cat to stop attempting to murder me? A) Let it rain Cat Nip! / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, both palms up, questioning look on face http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation26.html |
| Lesson #27 - Mornings | Blackboard: Scariest things to wake up to
/ Least Scary A cold sweat from a nightmare
/ A cat staring at you, inches from your face
/ the smoke alarm
/ a catholic radio station
/ most scary a cat staring at you, one paw on your shoulder, lying where your girlfriend had slept
/ Pose: Dante,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson27.html |
| Recitation #27 - Penguins | Blackboard: Q) (from a joint effort by Henry in New York and Bryan in Pittsburgh) Are Penguins Edible? ('thinking' clouds drawn on board showing a penguin, then showing a fork pointing towards penguin's stomach) A) Sure, why not? / Pose: Dante, right side of board, reading question in first photo. ... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation27.html |
| Lesson #28 - Upbringing | Blackboard: Graph correlating "ability to succeed in life" to "amount your parents made fun of you"
/ Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to peak of graph, slight smile on face http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson28.html |
| Recitation #28 - Pet Names | Blackboard: Q) (from Joe in Aberdeen) What is the best way to go about naming a pet? A) Well, it's always best if you keep the name short and/or have it end in an -EE sound (the pet will remember its name better this way; when in doubt, add a 'y' to the end.) Otherwise, there are a few approaches you... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation28.html |
| Lesson #29 - Civil Unions | Blackboard: So your argument against gay marriage is that it "isn't natural"? Well, technically, neither if the platypus.
/ Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing at board with finger, neutral look on face http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson29.html |
| Recitation #29 - Sign Language | Blackboard: Q) (From Amanda in Raleigh) How do you yell in sign language? A) well, if you're making one-handed signs, you could use the other hand to underline your intent. You could also punctuate each sentence with a punch. Either way, remember - the evil eye needs no noise. / Pose: Dante, left... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation29.html |
| Lesson #30 - Egocentricity | Blackboard: The final sigh of egocentricity gone too far. -Buying one of those model-sized cities and allowing yourself to go on a Godzilla-like rampage.
/ Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pretending to be Godzilla on a rampage http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson30.html |
| Recitation #30 - Spandex | Blackboard: Q) (From Kael in Oklahoma City) With all of the crazy people in the world, how come we rarely hear about anyone dressing up in spandex and fighting crime? A) Oh, it definitely happens...it's just that they get taken by the nice men in the white coats back to the asylum before they can really... http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation30.html |
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