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| Lesson #331 - Opposable Thumbs | Board: Having pets of any type, you might come to the conclusion that everything would be better and easier if they had opposable thumbs.
/ They could turn doorknobs to get out on their own, they could scoop their own litter, they could clean their own tank, or they could turn on the faucet to take a... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson331.html |
| Lesson #332 - Extreme Gambling | Board: If you place a bet on the end of the world - putting your odds on a pandemic as opposed to a war for oil - as nice as it may be to some day win that 20 dollars, you won't get quite the kick out of winning that you had hoped for. / Pose: Dante, to right, not really smiling. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson332.html |
| Lesson #333 - Standing Ovations | Board: A guide to Standing Ovations. Diagram of a stage with audience seating. colours read:
/ Red - Standing because they sat too close or at an angle to see anything while the show was going on
/ Green - Legitimate standing ovation
/ Blue - Standing becasue they don't know not to
/ Orange - Only standing... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson333.html |
| Lesson #334 - Music Critics | Board: Flowchart / How to be a music critic -> Hear a band's first album -> / ->It's bad-> Rip it apart
/ ->It's good -> Praise it-> Hear band's second album-> / ->They took a new approach ->Criticize for abandoning what worked
/ ->They made similar sounds ->Criticize for not trying something new / Pose:... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson334.html |
| Lesson #335 - Newspapers | Board 1: There are approximately 300 comic strips that are printed in syndication in newspapers.
/ Lets assume that at least ten percent of these are worth reading. Thus, there are about 30 comics worth reading in newspapers, with many of these inaccessible online except through a paid subscription. / On... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson335.html |
| Lesson #336 - Miracles | Board: If you pulled off a miracle about 2000 years ago - something like raising the dead or turning water into wine - they'd be ready to call you a phophet and make you their leader. / If you pulled off a miracle in the dark ages or in the late 1600's in Salem Massachusetts, you'd be called a witch,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson336.html |
| Lesson #337 - Meaning and Intent | Board: Highway Exit Ramps / They never mean exactly what you want them to. / Pose: Dante, right of board, chalk in right hand pointing at board, serious expression at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson337.html |
| Lesson #338 - Airport Security | Board: If the bomb-in-his-shoe terrorist's goal was not actually immediate destruction, but instead the long-term, widespread sharing of plantar warts, athelete's foot, and other foot fungi, quickly passed from person to person by making everyone remove their shoes, and walk around at airport security,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson338.html |
| Lesson #339 - Collars | Board: You can often (often, not always) tell how highly someone thinks of their status in society and life by noting how many different articles of clothing with collars that person is wearing. The obvious exception, of course, are frat boys. Obviously / Pose: Dante, to right, pulling on an extra... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson339.html |
| Lesson #340 - Presentations | Board: If a Powerpoint presentation is being delivered with a pink background, either the presenter is a teenage girl, the presenter is being overly cute, or the presenter is making fun of you is being in the audience, listening to a talk he or she clearly doesn't care about. / Pose: Dante, to the right,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson340.html |
| Lesson #341 - Human Growth Hormone | There are two ways a person's head can continue to grow in size after they have reached puberty - / either A) the person is used human growth hormone (HGH),
/ or B) the person is suffering from elephant man's disease. / So the next time you see your favorite team's athletes, looking stupidly inflated... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson341.html |
| Lesson #342 - Comic Book Flowchart | Board: Flowchart / You are a superhero -> Come across someone -> / -> It's another hero! -> Fight the superhero -> Realize you're on the same side after causing massive property damage -> Make up -> Find a supervillain to team up against -> Beat up the supervillain / -> It's a supervillain! -> Beat... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson342.html |
| Lesson #343 - Snacks | Board: Never forget to plan ahead if you're visiting someone's house where everyone is on a diet and you think you might need a snack at some point- otherwise, you'll have a tough time explaining why you not only ripped through the pantry until you came across a bag of chocolate chips leftover from their... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson343.html |
| Lesson #344 - Catfish | Board: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? / The catfish makes for good eating! / Pose: Dante to right of board, enthusiastically rubbing belly. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson344.html |
| Lesson #345 - Referees | Board: Bar graph / Referee's potential to personally determine the outcome of the game AND how badly they abuse their power vs. baseball, football, basketball, hockey, soccer / Pose: Dante, to right, wide eyes http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson345.html |
| Lesson #346 - Freedom of Religion | Board: If you want to call any country a [insert religion here] nation, that's all well and dandy. Just remember that those in the minority on that issue shouldn't have their religious views infringed upon, and that some nations were founded on not only the freedom of religion, but also the separation... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson346.html |
| Lesson #347 - Justice, Part II | Board: four quadrant Graph / Innocent vs. guilty, convicted vs. acquitted. Variable marking some number of people populates two quadrants, but never in the innocent AND guilty quadrant. / Pose: Dante, to left, sour look. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson347.html |
| Lesson #348 - Nerds | Board: graph / Number of people in the room who are nerds vs. volume of laughter. Plotting 'laughing at the nerd humor' and 'laughing with the nerd humor'. / Pose: Dante, to left, passive. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson348.html |
| Lesson #349 - Miracle Cures | Board: Here's the thing about miracle cures...
/ Usually, they're not really miracles...
/ And usually, they're not really cures, either. / Pose: Dante to right of board looking horrified at hand coming out of stomach through labcoat. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson349.html |
| Lesson #350 - Cold Turkey | Blackboard: It's not that going cold turkey is that hard, but shouldn't we get to work through the lukewarm turkey step before we get to the straight-up cold step? / Pose: Dante, to the left of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, looking very slightly wary... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson350.html |
| Lesson #351 - School Uniforms | Blackboard: Helping to eliminate individuality during a time that individuality is already struggling to survive... And, down the road, causing people enormous difficulty when it comes time to pick out their own clothes. / Pose: Dante, to the right of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, neutral... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson351.html |
| Lesson #352 - Facial Hair | Blackboard: "Facial Hair Anatomy" with a drawing of basic facial hair sections. Sections labeled (from left to right): Sideburns; Victorian sideburn A.K.A. Muttonchop; The Jaw Trench; Mouth Wing; Mustache; Potential Handlebars; Soul Patch A.K.A. The Lip Tuft; Goatee; Evil Villain Point; Grizzly Adams... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson352.html |
| Lesson #353 - Anniversary | Blackboard: 1st Anniversary. The Paper Anniversary. / Pose: Dante, to the right of the board, holding a roll of industrial-grade paper towels, looking at the camera and sneering. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson353.html |
| Lesson #354 - Political Spectrum | Blackboard: It's nice to know that no matter where you fall on the political spectrum, you can always go to a farmers' market or an NRA meeting and find people further to the extremes than you. / Pose: Dante, to the right of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, neutral expression towards the... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson354.html |
| Lesson #355 - The Near Future | Blackboard: What we have to look forward to in the near future:
/ 2013: According to X-Men, we will have a sentinel police force.
/ 2015: According to Back to the Future, we will have hoverboards.
/ 2021: According to Philip K. Dick, we will have androids that dream of electric sheep.
/ 2022: According to... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson355.html |
| Lesson #356 - Physique | Blackboard: People's Reactions while
/ looking at themselves in the
/ mirror in the morning
/ (line)
/ "Yeah! Look at that body!
/ no love handles here!
/ No one's in shape like you, Baby!"
/ (double line)
/ People's reactions while
/ Looking at themselves in the
/ mirror in the evening
/ (line)
/ "Oh,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson356.html |
| Lesson #357 - Vocal Octaves | Blackboard: the left side of the board is ocupied by a treble and base clef with musical notes.
/ the right side of the board, under the heading "Voice equivalent" connects each note drawn on the picture to a descrtiption. / from top to botom starting with treble clef: "Hopefully only that of a kids'... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson357.html |
| Lesson #358 - Definitions, Part VII | Blackboard: / Scumbagassery
/ (line)
/ A term soley used to
/ describe behavior or actions that
/ induce your rage (and rightfully
/ so) when you are in a
/ setting where cursing
/ would be entirely improper / Pose: Date right side of board, clenching right fist in threating manor and glaring threateningly... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson358.html |
| Lesson #359 - Shipwrecks | Blackboard: [box1] Gold doubloons (el concepcion, 1641, caribbean) [/box1]
/ [down arrow] [box2] canned salmon (mariposa, 1917, alaskan coast0 [/box2]
/ [down arrow] [box3] Nuclear Reactors (k-278 Komsomolets, 1989, atlanctic) [/box3] / The prizes for shipwreak recovery sure have changed over the years. / Pose:... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson359.html |
| Lesson #360 - Slurs | Blackboard: if pigs could talk and communicate with us, would we verbally greet them by saying, "hows it shakin', Bacon?" or would that be considered an interspecial slur? / Pose: Dante right side of board, pointing to "slur" with a questioning look towards camera. wearing and orange tee shirt under... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson360.html |
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