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| Lesson #541 - License Plates | Blackboard: In all of the Hardy Boys books, whenever Frank and Joe are run off the road or attacked by another vehicle, or chasing a getaway car, the other car's license plate is always obscured by mud or something else.
/ So, if you've put on you vehicle something over your license plate to try to... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson541.html |
| Lesson #542 - Idioms, Part II | Blackboard: There's no "I" in "team," but you can rearrange the letters to spell "mate." This is of no significance to you unless you work on a boat, and even then, this is of no significance.
/ Pose: Dante to left of blackboard pointing with chalk at the statement, "This is of no significance."
/ File... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson542.html |
| Lesson #543 - Cursing Part II | Blackboard: If someone curses so much that you really are forced to wash his/her mouth out with soap, make sure you scrub really well around the uvula. From the dirty mind to the uvula, they always say.
/ Pose: Dante to the left to the blackboard pointing with chalk at last line of blackboard.
/ File... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson543.html |
| Lesson #544 - Angles of Conversation | Blackboard: The angle that two people stand at while talking to each other tells you a lot about their conversation.
/ 0 degrees - Fascinating.
/ 10 degrees - Fascinating, and thank you for giving me personal space.
/ 45 degrees - I am enjoying talking to you.
/ 60 degrees - I am not NOT enjoying... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson544.html |
| Lesson #545 - Winter | Blackboard: Winter is a great season because of all the sports and games we can only play at this time of year, like sledding, skiing, snowball fights, hockey, skating, and chasing your cats around the house with a blunt icicle.
/ Pose: Dante to the right of blackboard pointing with chalk at the blunt... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson545.html |
| Lesson #546 - Ink Stains | Blackboard: Fun explanations for ink stains on your skin.
/ Black - Consequences of a prolonged Ouiji Board experience
/ Red - Translucent skin disorder
/ Blue - Concentrated bruises from fighting a person with tiny fists
/ Green - Side effects of your free time lab experiments trying to turn yourself... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson546.html |
| Lesson #547 - Winter Wonderland | Blackboard: There's nothing like looking at a hillside in the winter, everything freshly coated with snow, so white and so pure, and seeing your one set of tracks through the snow to completely ruin the picture.
/ Pose: Dante to the right of black board shrugging with hands out.
/ File Under: Snow
/ Caption:... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson547.html |
| Lesson #548 - Fruit Fixes | Panel 1
/ Blackboard: Pssst! Hey! Hey you! you need a fruit fix? Your need some of the citrus crack? Got cash, right? Don't accept credit, you know.
/ Pose: Dante to left of black board mock whispering and holding a Ziploc baggy of an unidentified white substance.
/ Panel 2
/ Blackboard: You're not... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson548.html |
| Lesson #549 - The Internet Will Save Everything | Blackboard: Internet popularity drives always work. After all, that's how Mrs. White's spot as the sixth Clue character was saved when she was almost replaced by Admiral Mandarin.
/ Pose: Dante to the right of the blackboard pointing with chalk at 'Admiral Mandarin.'
/ File Under: Board Games, The Internet.... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson549.html |
| Lesson #550 - Hybrid Creatures | Blackboard: Scientists have recently determined that a certain sea slug produces Chlorophyll, making it a half-animal, half-plan creature. So rejoice, vegetarians! Now you can eat a natural veggie burger that came from an animal you killed, too!
/ Pose: Dante to the right of chalkboard pointing with chalk.... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson550.html |
| Lesson #551 - High Class | Blackboard: You can consider yourself to be incredibly "high style" - wear the latest fashion, drive the best car, rub elbows with the elite - but if you take your dog for a walk and don't clean up any poop, you've got no style at all.
/ Pose: Dante to the left of blackboard pointing with chalk at, "But... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson551.html |
| Lesson #552 - College Libraries | Blackboard: Those people you see in the college library or laboratory on a Friday or Saturday night? There are two reasons they are there. Either they don't have a life or they're trying to have one.
/ Pose: Dante to the right of the blackboard pointing with chalk at the last line.
/ File Under: College,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson552.html |
| Lesson #553 - Professional Expectations | Blackboard: Using the same stories as often as you can to save the time and effort of the going out and developing new ones? It you're a writer, this is the end of your career. If you're in the media, this is your job.
/ File Under: Creativity, Professions http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson553.html |
| Lesson #554 - Photography, Part II | Blackboard: Some cultures believe that if someone takes a photograph of you, you will lose your soul. It it was the other way around, that taking the photograph meant the photographer would lose their soul, well, that would certainly explain tabloids.
/ Pose: Dante to the right of blackboard pointing... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson554.html |
| Lesson #555 - Angels | Blackboard: If raindrops are angels' tears, and snow is angels' dandruff, what the heck does that make fog?
/ Pose: Dante to the right of blackboard arms crossed with right hand under chin with perplexed look on his face.
/ File Under: Things Told to Kids That Are Taken Too Far
/ Caption: The lesson here,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson555.html |
| Lesson #556 - Parental Visits | Blackboard: When your parents come to visit you as an adult, if they give you looks of disappointment, you know you might be able to achieve a little bit more. It they give you looks of pride, you know you're doing pretty well for yourself. And if they approach you in adoration with oaths of fealty,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson556.html |
| Lesson #557 - Trips | Blackboard: No matter who are you with (father, mother, brother, sister, wife, husband, child, or dog) or where you are going, you can only travel as quickly as the smallest bladder among you will allow.
/ Pose: Dante to left of blackboard pointing with chalk.
/ File Under: Trips
/ Caption: "Do you need... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson557.html |
| Lesson #558 - Photocomics | Panel 1
/ Blackboard: Let's talk about photocomics for a minute, shall we?
/ Pose: Dante to the left of blackboard pointing with chalk at 'shall we'
/ Panel 2
/ Blackboard: We're beginning to approach a point where webcomics are recognized as a legitimate art form - more and more people are familiar... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson558.html |
| Lesson #559 - Movie Lessons | Blackboard: Every time you watch an older movie, think about what lessons you can steal from it to use as your own 'Dad Lessons' or 'Mom Lessons' to throw at your kids. Because if you think about it, "Be excellent to each other, and party on dudes" Is something every generation can learn from.
/ Pose:... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson559.html |
| Lesson #560 - Pregnancy | Blackboard: There aren't many awkward pauses that are more awkward thatn that after on married man that his wife is in labor, ready to give birth. Mainly because, even though it's entirely inappropriate to say, it's extremely hard to not blurt out, "Thank God I'm not the woman."
/ Pose: Dante to the right... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson560.html |
| Lesson #561 - Education | Blackboard: Above everything else, the most important type of education for you to remember is first aid. Second is math. Beyond that, what does it mater? Go ahead and fill your brain with useless sports trivia for all you care. You'll already have all you need.
/ Pose: Dante standing to the right... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson561.html |
| Lesson #562 - Dressing For Warmth | Blackboard: Contrary to public belief, heat does not escape the body primarily through your head - it actually escapes from all over your body. This giving you yet one more reason to wear pants in public.
/ File Under: Clothing, Public Displays http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson562.html |
| Lesson #563 - Groundhog Day | Blackboard: One of these years on February 2nd, prairie dogs will rise up and stage a coup, demanding, as the superior subterranean rodent, that either groundhogs cede the day's naming rights to them, or they get their own celebratory day. And we'll have no one to blame for the mess but ourselves.
/ Pose:... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson563.html |
| Lesson #564 - A Letter To Dogs | Blackboard: Dear Canines of the World,
/ There is indeed a temperature at which it is too cold for your "Am I gonna, am I not gonna" bathroom dance. Please get it over with.
/ Sincerely,
/ The Human Race
/ Pose: Dante to the left of the blackboard arms crossed looking a mix of cold and uncomfortable.... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson564.html |
| Lesson #565 - Life and Baseball | Blackboard: Life is a lot like a baseball game - You want your team to win, you want it to be a thriller, you don't want it to be called short on account of nature, and you wouldn't mind if it went into extra innings.
/ Pose: Dante to the left of blackboard pointing with chalk at "you want your team... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson565.html |
| Lesson #566 - Professional Prerequisites | Blackboard: To become a lawyer in the U.S., you have to get an undergraduate degree, pass the LSAT, get through law school, then pass The BAR Exam.
/ To become a radio announcer you used to have to recite, "Ten lyrical, spherical, diabolical denizens of the deep who hall stall around the corner of the... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson566.html |
| Lesson #567 - Football and Hockey | Blackboard: Football and hockey, two somewhat violent sports with passionate fan bases, amazing highlights and skilled athletes. Amount of time a 60 minute hockey game involves actual gameplay: 60 minutes. Amount of time a 60 minute football game involves actual gameplay: 11 minutes.
/ Pose: Dante to... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson567.html |
| Lesson #568 - Classy | Blackboard: Shown as a decision/flow chart
/ Classy -> In reference to social status -> Top hats, furs, monocles
/ Classy -> In reference to the internet or pop culture -> "I just made a fart joke!"
/ Pose: Dante to the right of blackboard pointing with chalk at "I just made a fart joke" box.
/ File Under:... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson568.html |
| Lesson #569 - The World We Live In | Blackboard: In today's world, it's incredibly easy to be in contact with people from other countries. In today's world, it's also incredibly easy to offend someone. So if your lifelong dream has been to cause an international incident, you're living in the right era.
/ Pose: Dante to the right of blackboard... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson569.html |
| Lesson #570 - Things You Never Hear Part III | Blackboard: In a church after communion. "Man, that was some good Christ."
/ Pose: Dante to the left of the blackboard pointing with chalk at 'Christ'
/ File Under: Religion
/ Caption: I really enjoy writing religion comics, probably because I went to a Catholic school for so long, and I find it fascinating... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson570.html |
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