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| Lesson 691 ? College Degrees | Blackboard: B.A. ? Not actually given to actual sheep
/ B.S. ? Actually more about truth and facts than the title suggests
/ M.S. ? Not actually a ?mad scientist? degree
/ Ph.D. ? Philosophy rarely has anything to do with it / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson691.html |
| Lesson #692 - Email | Blackboard: Email ? Because if you were actually talking back and forth on the phone, you?d have a lot less time to come up with lies and excuses during the course of the conversation. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral glare at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson692.html |
| Lesson #693 - Muffins | Blackboard: Muffins ? Giving you and Excuse to eat dessert for breakfast. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, right hand on stomach, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson693.html |
| Lesson #694 ? Head Scratches | Blackboard: There has never been a guy who didn?t like having his head scratched.
/ Thus the true origin of both baldness and dog being man?s best friend is awfully clear. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson694.html |
| Lesson #695 - Credos | Blackboard: (Venn Diagram)
/ 2 Circles - ?The belief of starving people? and ?The belief of mad scientists?
/ Common ground ? ?You shouldn?t let anything you can eat or drink go to waste? / Pose: Dante, fingers in the Mr. Burns ?excellent? pose from the Simpsons, evilly grinning at the camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson695.html |
| Lesson #696 ? Sports Cheers | Blackboard: When our favorite athletes do something amazing, we cheer for them, and many people shout ?Awesome!? But we also applaud them for getting the basic fundamentals right. So why don?t we shout ?Rudimentary!? when that happens? / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson696.html |
| Lesson #697 ? Organs | Blackboard: If you claim you don?t have a favorite organ, you?re lying. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, holding his trachea, neutral look at the camera http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson697.html |
| Lesson #698 - Discrimination, Part II | Blackboard: If your first thoughts when somebody mentions discrimination are all the ways that you personally are and have been treated unfairly, you might be missing the bigger picture. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson698.html |
| Lesson 699 - Knees | Blackboard: The Orthopedic Mafia ? mess with them, and you won?t get kneecapped, you?ll get patella-ed. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson699.html |
| Lesson #700 - Asses | Blackboard: There's a fine line between being an ass and being an asshole. Either way, you're a jerk, but only in one case will people tell you to get lost. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, interested look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson700.html |
| Lesson #701 - Questionable Awards | Blackboard: The Red Lantern Aware is an award given to the last person finish the Iditarod, as a symbol of determination and perseverenace. It's not a bad idea to create a similar award for the person who takes seven years to finish college, but let's face it -- they're still there for other reasons... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson701.html |
| Lesson #702 - Flowers | Blackboard: The traditional flower gift for second wedding anniversaires is the "lily of the valley," a plant that is highly poisonous/toxic to the extent that you should always wash your hands after handling it. Which really makes you wonder why the flower industry is so secretly intent on trying to... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson702.html |
| Lesson #703 - Creeping People Out, Part VII | Blackboard: How to Creep People Out
/ 1) Host a barbecue
/ 2) Ask people how they want their meat cooked
/ 3) Ignore their requests and cook normally
/ 4) Serve the chicken / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, arms crossed, neutral look at the camera http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson703.html |
| Lesson #704 - Typos | Blackboard: Typos are more dangerous than you think. For example, if you make hunan chicken and you spell it with an "M", not only will you have created serious questions about your standards and ethics, no one will eat your food. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, chalk in hand, disgusted look... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson704.html |
| Lesson #705 - Internet Love | Blackboard: Boy's slogan, pre-internet: "May you kiss all the girls you please, and may you please all the girls you kiss." Boy's Slogan, internet era: "Mat you love the girl that you know, and may you know that your love is a girl." / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, chalk in hand, looking at... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson705.html |
| Lesson #706 - Symbols | Blackboard: You know, when you think about it, the symbol for radition warnings kind of looks like a certain recognizable cartoon character's head. What is your secert evil purpose, Disney? Come clean! / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, chalk in hand, other hand open and face up, curious look... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson706.html |
| Lesson #707 - Ethics | Blackboard: No matter where you go, who you meet, and how the world develops and advances, there will always be people in your life who can't spell the word "Ethics" without "Eh...". / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, chalk in hand, neutral look towards the camera http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson707.html |
| Lesson #708 - Audience Participation | Blackboard: Whenever anyone addresses an audience, starts off with a greeting, expects a response, and then says something to the effect of "Oh, you can do better than that!" and repeats the greeting, it should be legal to throw things. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, chalk in hand, other hand... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson708.html |
| Lesson #709 - Stupid, Stupid Ideas | Blackboard: [flowchart]
/ Come up with idea -> Realize it's a stupid idea -> Laugh it off -> Forget about it -> Time goes by -> Think of the stupid idea again -> Laugh and forget about it -> a little less time goes by -> Eventually give in -> Oh man! How could I be so stupid? / Pose: Dante, right side... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson709.html |
| Lesson #710 - Crazy | Blackboard: Only a crazy person doesn't think that he/she is crazy. But if people think you're crazy, and you absolutely know you're not crazy, but no one believes your reason for why you're not crazy, then you may have to admit you may be crazy to prove you're not crazy. Crazy, huh? / Pose: Dante,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson710.html |
| Lesson #711 - This. | Blackboard: Every time someone on the internet uses "This." as a complete sentence, the physical embodiment of language starts to internally bleed just a little bit more. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, both arms over chest, painful look at the camera http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson711.html |
| Lesson #712 - Colorful Revolutions | Blackboard: Red Revolution - Russia 1917
/ Orange Revolution - Ukraine 2004
/ Green Revolution - Mexico, Pakistan, Inda 1960
/ Blue Revolution - Kuwait 2005
/ Brown Revolution - Germany 1933
/ White Revolution - Iran 1963 / So, as usual, despite its prominence in the color spectrum, indigo gets no love. / Pose:... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson712.html |
| Lesson #713 - Songs In Your Head | Blackboard: Many people, if they get a song stuck in their hand, will tend to tap their foot along to the beat or rhythm. Which really isn't a problem, but if you continue to do so when you're in a public restroom, you might accidentally proposition the person in the next stall over. / Pose: Dante,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson713.html |
| Lesson #714 - Preparations | Blackboard: Today -like every day- could be a huge day for you. You might meet influential people, impress your colleges, make a scientific discovery, chance into your true love... who knows what might happen. so make sure you're prepared. Zip up your fly. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, chalk... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson714.html |
| Lesson #715 - Graffiti | Blackboard: there's graffiti... and then there's graffiti. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, touching and looking at the piece of slate on the ground. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson715.html |
| Lesson #716 - Experience, Part V | Blackboard: Things only experience will teach you
/ Once you get beyond matters of politics, religion, and race, nothing is more divisive than the proper term for a long bread sandwich. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, chalk in hand, neutral look at the camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson716.html |
| Lesson #717 - CPR | Blackboard: Recent studies have shown that performing "hands-only" CPR might be more effective than alternating between chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth breaths. Either this is true, or cooties is more dangerous than we thought. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, chalk in hand, curious look... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson717.html |
| Lesson #718 - Childhoods | Blackboard: It's a simple fact of life -- you're never too old to have your childhood ruined. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, chalk in hand, looking at the board. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson718.html |
| Lesson #719 - Parent-Child Relationships | Blackboard: [graph]
/ Y axis - How much you like people in general
/ X axis - Age in life you started to like your parents
/ [Line is direct and upward] / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, chalk in hand, neutral look at the camera http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson719.html |
| Lesson #720 - The Power Of Fruit | Blackboard: Grapefruits and grapefruit juice have been shown to mess with the effectiveness of birth control. so while an apple a day may keep the doctor away, a grapefruit may do just the opposite. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, chalk in hand, neutral look at the camera http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson720.html |
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