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| Lesson #781 - Gangs | Blackboard: If it wasn't for the implied threats and connotations of violence behind them, we'd all realize that gang signs are more delightlfully dorky than anything else. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, looking at camera, raised eyebrows, pulling some gang signs, possibly and east side and... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson781.html |
| Lesson #782 - Facial Hair, Part II | Blackboard: Reasons for having facial hair (Pie chart)
/ Purple ~ 20%, Red ~ 35%, Blue ~ 25%, Green ~ 15%, Yellow ~ 5%
/ Purple = Style purposes, Red = Laziness, Blue = 5 to 10 years older in appearance, Green = Really bad at shaving, Yellow = to display your skill with a razor in a way that doesn't involve... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson782.html |
| Lesson #783 - Halloween Costume Planning | Blackboard: Initially planning
/ 1) Find a dictionay
/ 2) Flip open to a random page
/ 3) Blindly point at a word
/ 4) Scroll down to the nearest noun
/ 5) Add the word "sexy" in front
/ 6) BAM! You've picked your costume. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, holding a dictionary at waist height, looking... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson783.html |
| Lesson #784 - The Demands of Halloween Costumes on Parents | Blackboard:
/ [ (CC^4 x D - A x CA)^2 ]^(1+P)
/ PS = | _____________________.T |
/ [ W^1.5 x NC^3 ] / PS = Parent's stress
/ CC = Child's creativity in terms of their costume idea
/ D = Difficulty of costume
/ A = Ability of child to help
/ CA = Child's age
/ W = Willingness to buy... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson784.html |
| Lesson #785 - Abstract Halloween Costumes, Part II | Board: Abstract Concepts for Halloween Costumes / Subject / Abstract Costume Idea
/ Art - Chiaroscoro Shadings
/ Electrical Engineering - Resistance
/ Athletics - Sportsmanship
/ Theater - The Fourth Wall
/ Biology - Metabolism
/ Economics - Return on Investment
/ Physics - Work http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson785.html |
| Lesson #786 - Halloween Enjoyment | Blackboard: Pie chart with circle split vertically in half. Left half is colored blue. Right half is colored red. People who enjoy halloween because it is the one day of the year that they can, without repercussions, [blue] Be someone else [red] Be themselves / Pose: Dante, right side of the board,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson786.html |
| Lesson #787 - Jack-O'-Lanterns | Blackboard: Panel 1: A Basic Guide To Making A Good Jack-O'-Lantern. Step 1) Embrace your inner 1940's-to-1950's-psychiatrist. Step 2) Reject your inner dentist. Step 3) Remember the definition of "Structural Stability". Step 4) Use whatever art style makes you happy. Panel 2: Step 5) Keep your inner... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson787.html |
| Lesson #788 - Zombies vs Vampires vs Fishmen (oh my) | Blackboard: One misinterpretation of a genre went so far as to allow their monsters to run, while the misinterpretation in a different genre was so bold as to allow their monsters to sparkle. Yes, the zombie and vampire gravy trains will be ending soon, but really, based on how far the genres have been... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson788.html |
| Lesson #789 - Trick-or-Treating Fun for the Candy Givers | Blackboard: One of the problems with halloween is being the person who gives out candy. You don't get to participate in the fun! So this year, take part with a little performance art when the kids inevitably shout "Boo." / [Stranger knocks on the door] / [Dante opens up door, bowl of candy in hand] / "Oh,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson789.html |
| Lesson #790 - The End of the World | Blackboard: If you combine all the people who expect the apocalypse, from any source and from any predicted time frame, to occur in the near future and so prepare for it, probably a third of these people expect it to happen, a third want to happen, and a third are just bored. So which group do we need... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson790.html |
| Lesson #791 - The Ballot | Blackboard: Elected position (only check one) / One main candidate [ ]
/ The other main candidate [ ]
/ Potentially significant third party [ ]
/ Minor overly idealistic somebody [ ]
/ Someone you've never heard of [ ]
/ The real nutjob [ ]
/ (Write in candidate) (Do not put 'Lizard People')
/ Whoever wins,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson791.html |
| Lesson #792 - The Burden of Proof | Blackboard: [Graph] Degree of burden of proof as decreed by society, along the axis between existence or truth and non-existense or falsehood.
/ Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, Loch Ness Monster, Santa Claus, Bigfoot, reliability of wikipedia, "Born Gay", bipartisanship, ghosts [midpoint], aliens, global... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson792.html |
| Lesson #793 - Really Bad Days | Blackboard: If you're having a really bad day, just put it in perspective. Just think about all your counterparts in alternate universes. There are an infinite number of other you's who are having an even crappier go of it than you. And you don't have tentacles growing out of your face. / Pose: Dante,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson793.html |
| Lesson #794 - Aliases | Blackboard: 1) Reduce your first name in a sensible way down to one syllable.
/ 2) Add "imus" to the end (pronounced with a short I)
/ 3) Think of another one syllable word that can be easily associated with you, like a distinct nickname or description of your body/personality
/ 4) Put the two worlds... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson794.html |
| Lesson #795 - Virgin Offspring | Blackboard: Scientists are reporting that a femal boa constrictor recently gave birth to two litters. Amazingly, the 22 baby snakes have no father and were essentially virgin births. That really puts a spin on the second coming of Jesus, doesn't it?
/ Pose: Dante, right side of the board, facing camera... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson795.html |
| Lesson #796- Victory Dances | Blackboard:
/ Keys to a Good Victory Dance
/ -A stupid look on your face
/ -Either one finger pointing on each hand or your fists clenched
/ -A lot of rotation or back-and forth movement in the hips and/or knees
/ -A complete lack of shame (because, hey, you just won)
/ Pose: Dante, right side of the board,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson796.html |
| Lesson #797 ? Source of Superpowers in the Fictional Human Body | Blackboard: Diagram of human body color coded from most common location (for super powers) to least common location / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, boxing stance, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson797.html |
| Lesson #798 ? Yoga | Blackboard: The Problems with Yoga-
/ -Warrior 1, warrior 2, and warrior 3 positions may look cool, but they?re terrible actual warrior positions, leaving you completely open for attack
/ -No dog has ever done the ?Downward Facing Dog? like humans are told to
/ -If you show up dressed in a sheet and chant,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson798.html |
| Lesson #799 - Pat-downs | Blackboard: Back in the day, for someone to be given the freedom to grope your ?personal areas?, that someone would have to buy you dinner first.
/ These days, not only does airport security feel around in every crevice of your body, but airlines have also stopped providing free meals.
/ Chivalry IS dead.... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson799.html |
| Lesson #800 - Assholes | Blackboard: Bar Graph of "Assholes People Want". "In their literature, movies, and TV" has a high value, while "In real life*" is zero. *-Besides the necessary biological ones / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. / File Under: Here's To You,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson800.html |
| Lesson #801 - Ethics in Science | Blackboard: Researchers have recently determined from "painstaking" study how it is that a cat can drink water while keeping its whiskers dry as compared to how a dog drinks water. In other news, several deadly diseases have been left uncured as funding for research has been blocked because of questions... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson801.html |
| Lesson #802 - Living | Blackboard: Who cares if anybody is watching? / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, holding an acoustic guitar while rocking out / File Under: Peer pressure be damned / Description: Once you start literally killing people, then they have a right to complain. Until then, there are ways they can deal.... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson802.html |
| Lesson #803 - Questionable Meaning | Blackboard: Tree diagram. Root node says "When they made you, they broke the mold." Child nodes from left to right say "Lavish praise", "Backhanded compliment", and "Forehanded insult" / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, hands outstretched and palms upward, gazing at the board in confusion / File... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson803.html |
| Lesson #804 - On The Brink Of Insanity | Blackboard: There is a fine line between imagination and insanity. There is also a fine line between insanity and egocentricity. The difference is that when you approach insanity from one side instead of the other, you can often recognize when you're stepping over that fine line / Pose: Dante, right... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson804.html |
| Lesson #805 - Home Protection, Part II | Blackboard: It's not a bad idea to keep something by your bed that you can wield as a form of protection. You know, just in case. Whatever that something is, though, make sure it's something you can pick up blindly in the dark. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, holding a sawfish nose and screaming... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson805.html |
| Lesson #806 - Cursing, Part III | Blackboard: Graph. Y axis is "Effectiveness of swear". X axis is "amount of anger, hatred, or contempt the word/phrase is delivered with". The line is mostly linear, growing as it approaches the right side of the board before reaching a peak and stabilizing near the end. Near the bottom left is a point... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson806.html |
| Lesson #807 - Lies Your Parents Told You | Blackboard: Remember, kids, unless you're a superhero, there's a possibility your parents are lying when they reassure you that you're not ugly. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. / File Under: Where the women are buxom, the men are overly... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson807.html |
| Lesson #808 - Family Anniversaries | Blackboard: Standard thoughts on members of your family reaching a wedding anniversary. 10th: "Hey, Good for them!" 20th, 30th, 40th: "You know, that's impressive, given the success rate these days." 50th: "Wow. How about that?" 60th: "Man, I come from good stock." / Pose: Dante, right side of the board,... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson808.html |
| Lesson #809 - Comprehension of "*!%#&*^@*!#*" | Blackboard: Venn Diagram. The circles are labeled, from left to right, "In Real Life", "*!%#&*^@*!#*!", "On The Internet". The intersection of "In Real Life" and "*!%#&*^@*!#*!" is labeled "Commentary before, during, or after a fight". The intersection of "*!%#&*^@*!#*!" and "On The Internet" is labeled... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson809.html |
| Lesson #810 - Hollywood and Religion | Blackboard:
/ Frame 1: If a Hollywood movie franchise was a religion, a devoted fanbase would be often heard to share with everyone just what the movie meant to them and how it had affected their lives, forcefully defending its status as a documentary - all while waiting for the sequel they were endlessly... http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson810.html |
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