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Lesson #421 - Misperceptions Blackboard: If a woman in a picture has her eyes only half-open, people will think she's sultry. If a man in a picture has his eyes only half-open, people will think he's high. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing at board with chalk, looking sultry (or high)
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson421.html
Lesson #422 - Titles Blackboard: Sometimes people give themselves a fancy title just to give their position a greater sense of authority. Like being a sales associate instead of a clerk. And sometimes the fancier title just helps to hide their insanity. Like being a dairy acolyte instead of a cheese religionist. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the lower side of the board, neutral look at camera.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson422.html
Lesson #423 - Theme Songs Blackboard: plot displaying theme songs over the years from then to now. Comparing "average number of episodes that new TV shows last before being cancelled due to ratings" and "average number of new shows with original theme songs with lyrics." / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression of face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson423.html
Lesson #424 - Talking to Yourself Blackboard: If you are one of those people who often talk out loud to yourself, get yourself a pet. Because being an anthropomorphizer is much better than being schizophrenic. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, a slightly amused look at camera.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson424.html
Lesson #425 - Photography Blackboard: Plot of "percentage of photographs taken that were great or meaningful" versus time. Mid-1800's, 1900's, 2000's. Sharp drop at "Digital cameras introduced to society." / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson425.html
 
Lesson #426 - Lawsuits Blackboard: If someone can sue McDonald's for not warning that their hot coffee is hot, can't we then sue Power Bars for not warning us that they don't give you the strength to punch walls? / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, a frown at camera.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson426.html
Lesson #427 - Chalk Blackboard: What to do with the short, useless, nubby pieces of chalk too small to hold / Carve them into teeth for a necklace / Throw them at other scientist whose theories you don't like / Cive them to your kids as examples of fossilized worms / Save up enough until you can arrange them for a true chalk body outline / Smash them into powder, then find a mirror and razor blade to create a disturbing scene for parent-teacher conferences / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson427.html
Lesson #428 - Opinions Blackboard: It's kind of funny - As we have evolved into a more and more opinionated society, architects keep finding ways to use greater and greater amounts of glass in their buildings. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson428.html
Lesson #429 - College Relationships Blackboard: A graph of circles like russian dolls / Outmost Circle (blue): People at your college / Second outer circle (orange): People you know (in some capacity) / Second Inner circle (red): People in your circle of friends / Inner Circle (yellow): Your small group of incestuous friends who will all date/sleep with each other over the course of four years / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson429.html
Lesson #430 - Wedding Drama Blackboard: Bar Graph: / Y-axis: Weddings that get called off at the altar / X-axis: / Value 1: On TV or in Movies / Large amount / Value 2: In Real Life / Miniscule amount / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson430.html
 
Lesson #431 - Theater Auditions Blackboard: "Everyone is Special" Culture / + Theater Auditions / + Teachers Also Serving as Directors / = 40 Awkward unskilled chorus dancers / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson431.html
Lesson #432 - Phone Calls Blackboard: how to end a phone call. Finish the conversation. Do you plan on talking to this person again? Yes. No. do you plan on seeking revenge on this person? Say "goodbye". Scream "you haven't heard the last from me!" / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression on face, slight smile.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson432.html
Lesson #433 - Fist-Bumps Blackboard: punches are just fist-bumps that miss. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, arms crossed, neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson433.html
Lesson #434 - Alien Abductions Blackboard: do you ever wonder if all those random reports of alien abductions are just the result of extraterrestrials doing some intergalactic tuna fishing, and we're just the dolphins that get caught in the nets? / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson434.html
Lesson #435 - Raw Diets Blackboard: recent studies have found that a diet of cooked food (in other words, a non-raw diet) is what allowed mankind to evolve into the species we are today. So we never need to worry about zombies becoming a more dominant species until they can kick the brain tartare habit. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson435.html
 
Lesson #436 - Chivalry Blackboard: Venn diagram. Circle one "chivalry is dead (a man does not hold open a door for a woman)". Circle two "chivalry is not dead (a man does hold open a door for a woman)". Intersection "chivalry is lazy (a man pushes the automatic handicap button to open a door for a woman)". / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with smile on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson436.html
Lesson #437 - Bait Blackboard: if there are stores that advertise that they sell bait, why don't you see supervillains shopping there more often? / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson437.html
Lesson #438 - Fill In The Blank Blackboard: Bar graph titled "I could tell you, but then I'd have to blank you.". vertical axis - number of responses in a random survey. Horizontal axis - "kill" and "love". / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson438.html
Lesson #439 - Historical Retrospective: The Middle Ages Blackboard: romanticizing the "Middle Ages" - Pros) if you lived back then, you might have been a knight! The outfits that the nobles wore were king of cool! Castles, man! Castles! Cons) you probably would have been a serf. And wore rags. People used to take their bodily excrements in buckets and throw them out the window into the street. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson439.html
Lesson #440 - Contracts Blackboard: contracts signed in blood - blood brother pact. Agreement with the mob. Contracts needed on a deadline when no one can find a pen. Some "magical" agreements. Sale of your soul to the devil. Agreement to help someone move. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson440.html
 
Lesson #441 - Individuality Blackboard: Range plot. Horizontal axis Age=0, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 22. 2 ranges. Potential range of a person's individuality. Actual range of person's individuality. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson441.html
Lesson #442 - Sailing Blackboard: What a sail angle means. 0 degrees - arr, but the wind be a cruel mistress today. 2 degrees - get out the oars, men, I've sneezed harder than this. 10 degrees - don't go overboard, men, it'll be hard for you to catch up. 25 degrees - arr, who among you wants to go waterskiing next? 40 degrees - arr, but the wind be a cruel mistress today. 60 degrees - blub blub blub. Drawing of sailboat, showing angle "alpha." / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson442.html
Lesson #443 - Catholic School Dances Blackboard: at catholic school dances, the nuns like to tell you to "leave six inches for the holy spirit" in between you and your dance partner. What they never told you, though, is why. Why six inches? Leaving you with only two logical answers - either the holy spirit is fat, or the holy spirit is a pervert. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson443.html
Lesson #444 - Fashion, Part II Blackboard: clothing you have to pull and tug at to make sure that your private parts do not fall out/become exposed. For women, this is called fashion. For men, this is called public indecency. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson444.html
Lesson #445 - Dancing Blackboard: Bar graph. The tango. Waltz. Simple slow dance. Swing. The fox trot. The rumba. Comparison of "how romantic if danced with another person: and "how hilarious or disturbing if danced by yourself." / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression on face. Slight smile
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson445.html
 
Lesson #446 - Definitions, Part VIII Blackboard: Mitochondriiosis. Type of cellular defect that allows someone to essentially become a human heating pad. Sounds more like a defect than it actually is. Is not actually a cellular defect. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson446.html
Lesson #447 - Literary Criticism Blackboard: critics can call your work a wide number of negative things - obnoxious, offensive, bad, grotesque, meaningless, or even craptacular - but as long as they don't call it boring, it can't be all bad. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, hands out, arms shrugged, with a "you know?" expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson447.html
Lesson #448 - Punditry Blackboard: how to be a pundit. Claim "this is the greatest thing I have ever seen or heard in relation to the field!". Wait for a little while. Repeat / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, with neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson448.html
Lesson #449 - The Horror - Science Fiction Genre Blackboard: it must be nice to work in Hollywood as a screenwriter in the combined horror and sci-fi genre. Because really, only there can you come up with a ludicrous premise for a movie, like "Giant Shark vs. Mega-Octopus", but your ludicrous ideas are actually expected, and get made! / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing at the board with chalk, neutral expression on face.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson449.html
Lesson #450 - Canine Math Blackboard: [ A graph with the y-axis labeled "Woof" and the x-axis labeled "Bark Bark" has a wavy line going upwards] / Pose: German, right side of the board, wearing an oversized labcoat and a forlorn expression.
http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson450.html
 

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