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| Lesson #631 - Talking About Your Pets | Blackboard: If you think everyone who talks about their pets is kind of lame, but your pets are completely different and so human and endlessly hilarious so it's different' for you, no, they're not and it's not.
/ Pose: Dante at right of board, pointing to last few words with chalk and looking honestly at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson631.html |
| Lesson #632 - Groups | Blackboard: Every group of friends in its own way is a microcosm of society.
/ So in other words, even in a group of nerds, there is someone who is truly the nerd.
/ Pose: Dante at right of board, pointing with chalk to last word and looking at the camera with slight worry. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson632.html |
| Lesson # 633 - Space | Blackboard: Once we make intergalactic space travel possible, we should completely revert to a cowboy-western style of life, if only to make ?riding off into the sunset? a literal possibility.
/ Pose: Dante at left of board, using his fingers as pretend guns about to be drawn from hip holsters. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson633.html |
| Lesson # 634 - Pride | Blackboard: No matter how proud you are, always remember:
/ With the right storytelling, you'll always be the villain in someone else's movie.
/ Pose: Dante at right of board, pointing at board with chalk and looking stoically at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson634.html |
| Lesson # 635 ? The Afterlife | Blackboard: ?The Netherworld? commonly refers to some area of the afterlife, and can be easily considered to mean ?the world of the dead.?
/ Considering ?The Nether Regions? is slang for the private areas of your anatomy, what does that really say about your crotch?
/ Pose: Dante at right of board, pointing with chalk to last word and looking at camera frankly. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson635.html |
| Lesson #636 ? Life | Blackboard: Into every life some jackass must trip / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, arms crossed, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson636.html |
| Lesson #637 - Censoring | Blackboard: One day in the not-too-distant future, the mighty censoring overlords will realize that even ?word? is a four-letter word. Hope you know how to speak binary. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson637.html |
| Lesson #638 ? Genetic Engineering | Blackboard: Once genetic modifications have advanced to the point that people will be able to decide ahead of time what gender they want their children to be, only then will parents feel it is acceptable to name their daughters ?Jocasta?. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson638.html |
| Lesson #639 - Lifestyle | Blackboard: If all you do is eat, you?re afraid of ghosts, and consider yourself to be religious, this may hurt to hear, but it needs to be said:
/ Pacmanism isn?t an actual religion. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson639.html |
| Lesson #640 ? Knowledge, Part III | Blackboard: The most specific your knowledge becomes, the more limited that appropriate settings become to share that knowledge.
/ So while it?s great that you know all about the reproductive processes of lobsters, shrimp, scallops and other sea life, you really don?t need to describe the goings-on at the dinner table. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson640.html |
| Lesson #641 ? Mothers and Children | Blackboard: FLM = BW^3
/ FLM: Free labor you owe your mother (arbitrary units)
/ BW: Your birth weight / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson641.html |
| Lesson #642 - Tattoos | Blackboard: If you want to fend off bullies, and are willing to go to extremes to do so, get a full body tattoo of a tough, strong exoskeleton.
/ Hey, it works for some insects. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, right hand in a fist, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson642.html |
| Lesson #643 ? Overhearing Certain Conversations | Blackboard: Cubicles are a lot like those curtained-in rooms you can find yourself in at a hospital emergency room.
/ The things you hear from the next space over can be a little bizarre, a little annoying, and a little disturbing.
/ But no matter what, you don?t want to miss out on hearing the good stuff. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson643.html |
| Lesson #644 - Nonsense | Blackboard: There?s nothing quite as frabjous, slenthic, carroudinal, powellabreck, or grayuzene as nonsense. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson644.html |
| Lesson #645 - Penetrating Gazes | Blackboard: It?s impossible to eat someone?s soul with your eyes.
/ But that doesn?t mean you can?t try. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, gazing intently at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson645.html |
| Lesson #646 - Husbands | Blackboard: (Flowchart)
/ ?Husband? ? [A male spouse] or [Large, stiff pillow with arms]
/ ?Husbandry? - [The raising and proper care of animals]
/ The latter two [says something about how people view. . .] -> [a male spouse] / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson646.html |
| Lesson #647 ? Hatemail, Part II | Blackboard: (Bar Graph)
/ Y-Axis- # of messages sent over the internet (emails, twitter, etc.) without a typo
/ [Longer bar] ? Most messages
/ [Shorter bar] - Hatemail / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson647.html |
| Lesson #648 ? True Stories | Blackboard: It is a fundamental law of nature:
/ Whatever your best true story is, no one else will ever be able to prove that it really happened. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, palms facing towards each other as if saying ?the fish was this big?, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson648.html |
| Lesson #649 ? Overdiagnosed | Blackboard: At what point does the overdiagnosing of people just become a new extreme for of witch doctoring? / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, both palms upturned, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson649.html |
| Lesson #650 - Bathroom Humor | Blackboard:How bathroom humor gets added to a movie script
/ 1) Screenwriter puts and inside joke into a script because he/she find it repeatedly hilarious
/ 2) Script gets run past the higher-ups
/ 3) Higher-ups don?t get the inside joke because, hey, it?s an inside joke
/ 4) Studio decides to change it
/ 5) Studio doesn?t understand the concept of well crafted humor
/ 6) ?Hey! Let?s fill in the gap with a poop joke!? / Pose: Dante, left side of the board pointing at item #6, raised eyebrows http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson650.html |
| Lesson #651 - Literary Works | Blackboard: In General, there are five types of literary works ? Comedy, Tragedy, Drama, Satire, and Crap / Pose: Dante, Right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson651.html |
| Lesson #652 - Doing Stupid Things | Blackboard: (Graph comic) ?
/ [Orange] = Number of stupid things you do just because you can
/ [Gray] = Number of stupid things people think you?re doing because you don?t know any better
/ Y-Axis - (Unlabled)
/ X-Axis - Age / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson652.html |
| Lesson #653 ? Salad | Blackboard: Every meal sounds healthier to eat when the word ?salad? is attached ? taco, chicken, egg, pasta ? and many people use that idea to rationalize their eating habits, which really doesn?t sound that smart, until you begin to consider the ingenuity of cookie salad. / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson653.html |
| Lesson #654 ? Bad Therefore Great | Blackboard: If you were to take a burning ember, somehow quickly make it look like a delicious mint, offer it to someone and get them ot eat it, it is totally possible for you to cause someone to ?die of ember-as-mint?. But while everyone should applaud your terrible/great pun, it probably won?t get you sympathy for your murder charge. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, right hand upturned, smiling at camera http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson654.html |
| Lesson #655 ? Reality TV | Blackboard: If you?ve just finished watching an episode of a reality show without saying to yourself, ?These are terrible horrible people,? then, in most cases, you probably weren?t really watching. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson655.html |
| Lesson #656 ? Arrogance and Stupidity | Blackboard: Isaac Asimov once said, ?By Newton! I would rather be arrogant than dumb!? Funny enough, in today?s world, there are many people who take pride in being both / Pose: Dante, right side of the board, arms crossed, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson656.html |
| Lesson #657 ? Hyperbole | Blackboard: (Graph)
/ Y-Axis ? Prevalence of social networking and internet communication
/ X-Axis ? # of times something has been called the ?best thing ever? / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, looking thoughtfully at graph. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson657.html |
| Lesson #658 ? Tanning, kind of | Blackboard: Pink Bronzer ? for when you just can?t get that perfect sunburn. / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, open mouth, looking at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson658.html |
| Lesson #659 ? Relationship Math | Blackboard: Rh = 1/(1 + |I1 ?I2|)
/ Rh: Relationship Happiness
/ I1: Number of idiosyncrasies of person #1 in the relationship
/ I1: Number of idiosyncrasies of person #2 in the relationship / Pose: Dante, left side of the board, pointing with chalk to the board, neutral look at camera. http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson659.html |
| Lesson #660 ? Anniversary, Part II | Blackboard: 2nd Anniversary ? The cotton anniversary / Pose: Dante, right side of board, holding boxers with chickens on them, confused look at camera http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson660.html |
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