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| #1 When I Get Lonely | [[Herby and Kurt are floating in a sea of turquoise]]
/ Herby: Kurt, do you ever get lonely, out there drifting through the puddles of life by yourself?
/ Kurt: Yeah, sometimes. / Kurt: But then I do this. / [[One of Kurt's sides bulges]] / [[Kurt has now split into two identical entities]]
/ Kurt: Hi... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/380575/ |
| #2 The Pickpocket | [[Herby and Kurt are floating in a sea of light yellow]]
/ Kurt: Herby! I got pickpocketed yesterday!
/ Herby: Really? / Kurt: Yeah! I was in a crowded intestine and I think a virus snatched my wallet! / Kurt: I lost it all! My cash, my cards, my driver's license, even my blood donor's card! / Kurt:... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/381734/ |
| #3 CAUTION! Wet Floor! | [[Herby and Kurt are floating in a sea of sickly green]]
/ Kurt: Hey Herby!
/ Kurt: You know what really sinks my battleship?
/ Herby: What's that, Kurt? / Kurt: Those stupid yellow wet floor signs. / Kurt: They're always in the way and I almost trip on them. They're big yellow idiocy. I mean, when was... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/382854/ |
| #4 Herby Just Wants To Snuggle | Stacey: I love kittens! They're so adorable and snuggly and hyper!
/ Herby: Like me! / Herby: Maybe I'm a kitten!
/ Herby: You'll never know! / Stacey: I think I may be able to tell.
/ Stacey: Just a little. / Herby: NO!
/ Herby: Your perception of reality is false! / Herby: I AM A KITTEN! / {{title... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/383731/ |
| #5 Indie Band | Herby: I'm going to start an indie rock band. Want to be in it? / Herby: I'm going to call it Singsong Billygoat! / Kurt: What a stupid name!
/ Kurt: Why call it that?
/ Herby: Some guy told me to. / Kurt: What a frenzied nincompoop! Why listen to some stranger who obviously has a few screws loose,... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/386329/ |
| #6 Vegetarian Metal | [[Herby and Kurt are floating in a sea of seaweed green]]
/ Kurt: Instead of starting a crappy indie band we should start a vegetarian metal band! / Kurt: They're all the rage: Iron Deficiency Maiden, Asparagus of a Down, Rage Against the Meat, Crockpot of Filth, Black Cabbage...the list goes on and... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/386337/ |
| #7 Run With Scissors, Children! | Kurt: I wonder why the phrase "Don't run with scissors" is so common. / Kurt: Did some little boy named Zachary run with scissors, trip, and poke his eye out? / Kurt: I've never really had the urge to run with scissors. / Kurt: I mean, no one ever says, "Don't run with a steak knife," or, "Don't ride... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/388686/ |
| #8 Board Games | [[Stacey, Herby and Kurt are floating in a sea of yellowish-green]]
/ Stacey: You guys want to play a board game?
/ Kurt: Like what? / Stacey: Oh, I dunno, maybe Scrabble... or Monopoly... or Yahtzee... / Herby: Or Germany. / Kurt: What's that? / Herby: A country in Europe.
/ Herby: Near France. / {{They... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/390437/ |
| #9 Buttons Of Protest | [[Gref and Kurt are floating in a sea of beige-ish]]
/ Gref: Hey man! Rebel rebel rebel! Fight the system!
/ Kurt: Who are you? / Gref: I'm Gref the rhizobium. You know, those bacteria that fix nitrogen for legumes. / Gref: Want one of these gnarly free buttons to support the cause? / Kurt: Um, ok? / [[The... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/390443/ |
| #10 Band Name | [[Kurt and Herby are floating in a sea of tomato-red]]
/ Kurt: What should we name our vegetarian metal band?
/ Herby: How about Herbicide? / Kurt: Maybe Bloody Carrot?
/ Herby: Or Vegetable Patch Disaster? / Kurt: I also like Rotten Artichoke.
/ Herby: It's a tough choice. / Herby: I think we should... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/393929/ |
| #11 Wikipedia | Stacey: I was just reading the Wikipedia article about the formation and evolution of the solar system. / Stacey: It's so fascinating!
/ Kurt: How can you believe what you read on there - anyone can write anything! / Stacey: That's the beauty of it!
/ Stacey: Millions of people check edits for correctness... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/394880/ |
| #12 Night Sky | [[Stacey, Kurt and Herby are floating in a sea of dark grey]]
/ Stacey: When you look up at the night sky, do you ever feel really small and insignificant? / Kurt: Yeah, sometimes, but I try not to think about it.
/ Kurt: I mean, unicellular organisms are the only known intelligent beings in the universe,... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/394882/ |
| #13 Neighborly Duty | [[Stacey is floating in a sea of pink]]
/ Stacey: Thank God I'm finally done with that essay. / [[God appears at the top of the panel]]
/ God: Did someone say my name? / Stacey: Oh! Hi God!
/ Stacey: Um, nevermind. / God: Oh, ok.
/ God: Well...ummm...
/ God: While I'm here, uh, I just ran out of flour.... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/394885/ |
| #14 Breakup Leeches | [[Stacey and Kurt are floating in a sea of green]]
/ Stacey: Blargh! Life sucks like giant leeches!
/ Kurt: Who put fireballs in your cereal? / Stacey: My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I by mistake left a bunch of stuff at his puddle, like my toothbrush and razor and shampoo. / Stacey: And... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/394895/ |
| #15 A Poem By Herby | [[Herby is floating in a sea of pink]]
/ Herby: I'm really sorry you were dumped, / Herby: But it's very nice for me. / Herby: I like you more than that chump, / Herby: I hope you'll be mine Stacey. / Herby: Breakups can be hard,
/ Herby: So let me be your bard, / Herby: And help you find your footing. / Herby:... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/399288/ |
| #16 Going To The Gym | [[Kurt and Herby are floating in a sea of bluish green. Kurt is throwing a dumbbell at Herby]]
/ Kurt: You carry it! / [[The second panel is irregularly shaped. The box for panel 3 appears to be forming a ledge which Herby is standing on, throwing the dumbbell down to Kurt]]
/ Herby: No, you carry it! / [[Kurt... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/403228/ |
| #17 Cavity | [[Kurt and Stacey are floating in a sea of mustard yellow]]
/ Kurt: I djust went to the dentitht to geth a huje cafity filled. / Stacey: It sounds like your mouth is still numb. / Kurt: Yeth. Pluth, I can't tathte anything. At leatht he did a really good job. / Stacey: Less taste.
/ Stacey: Great f... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/403229/ |
| #18 Pirates Versus Ninjas | [[Kurt is floating in a sea of dusky blue]]
/ Off-panel voice: Yohoho and a bottle of shaving cream. / [[Captain Ivan enters]]
/ Kurt: Hi, Captain Ivan!
/ Captain Ivan: Ahoy there Kurt! How be your sea legs? / Kurt: I'm excellent! So, what do you think about the internet-age-old question: Who wins in... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/407296/ |
| #20 ? | [[A question mark block hangs in the air]] / [[Kurt enters from the right]] / [[Kurt looks at the ?-block]] / [[Kurt looks back]] / [[Kurt jumps, hitting the block, and a coin comes out of it]] / Kurt: I've always wanted to do that. / {{title text: That would be a great way to make money.}} http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/407304/ |
| #21 Logarithms | [[Professor Bonchi is floating in a sea of canary yellow, in front of a blackboard that says "log h x = 1220"]]
/ Professor Bonchi: So, if you set log base h, the Planck Constant, equal to 1220... / [["x = h^1220" has been added to the blackboard]]
/ Professor Bonchi: and then solve for x... / [[The... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/407306/ |
| #22 Original | [[Kurt is floating in a sea of light brown]]
/ Kurt, thinking: I want to say something that has never been said before. / Kurt: Green hippopotamus. / Kurt, thinking: No, that's not strange enough.
/ Kurt, thinking: Come on Kurt, think! / Kurt: I was admiring a giraffe's fuschia toenails when I decided... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/407307/ |
| #23 Nanotech Zombies | [[mKarla and Kurt are floating in a sea of tomato red]]
/ mKarla: I wonder if zombies IM?
/ Kurt: Whoa! Where'd you come from? / mKarla: The name's mKarla. Silent "m" at the beginning and all that. I'm a nanorobot. / Kurt: Gnarly!
/ mKarla: So, zombies IMing?
/ Kurt: Well, do robots IM? / mKarla: Of course!... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/407308/ |
| #24 Overhead Projector | [[Professor Bonchi is floating in a sea of dark green. He is behind a projector which is projecting a picture - a green fish with red lips and a blue eye above a crudely drawn blue wave - onto the wall behind him.]]
/ Professor Bonchi: Since I am finished with the lecture ten minutes early, I will spend... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/407309/ |
| #19 Let Us Go Out | [[Stacey and Herby are floating in a sea of hot pink]]
/ Stacey: Your poem was quite...nice, Herby. / Herby: So, will you go out with me? / Stacey: I would love to, on two conditions. / Stacey: One: never again take something of mine without asking. / Stacey: Two: stop following me around with Savage... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/407549/ |
| #25 Party | Gref: I'm getting sick and tired of the two party system. / Gref: We obviously need more parties. / [[In a room with balloons are Prof. Bonchi, Gref, Kurt, Herby, Captain Ivan, mKarla, and Stacey.]]
/ Gref: More parties!
/ Stacey: Who let in the viruses?!? They're getting in the punch! http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/419591/ |
| #26 C Major | [[Stacey is floating in a sea of light green next to a sign saying "Smith's Locksmith" with a picture of a key underneath.]]
/ Stacey: C D E F G A B C
/ Stacey: C D E F G A B C
/ Stacey: C D E F G A B C
/ Stacey: C D E F G A B C.... / [[The scene changes to show Captain Ivan and Herby.]]
/ Captain Ivan:... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/419596/ |
| #27 Herby and the Kurt | [[Herby and Kurt are floating in a sea of dark blue.]]
/ Herby: Gee Kurt, what do you want to do tonight? / Kurt: The same thing we do every night, Herby. / Kurt: Try to take over the world record for longest tennis rally. / [[Herby is now holding a tennis ball.]]
/ Herby: We got to 84 that time. What's... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/419599/ |
| #28 Drummer | [[Herby, Kurt and Gref are floating in a sea of light purple.]]
/ Herby: Hey Gref!
/ Herby: Would you be interested in joining our vegetarian metal band? / Gref: Totally man! I love vegetarian metal! / Gref: Dudes, can I be the sweet drummer who always has his shirt off at concerts? / Kurt: None of... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/419601/ |
| #29 Repairs Needed | [[Captain Ivan is floating in a sea of brown.]]
/ Captain Ivan, thinking: Hmm. I need a hammer to fix the crows nest. / [[Captain Ivan is outside a hardware store. The sign says "YOUR TOOL HARDWARE" but the light for the R in YOUR is broken.]] / {{Right across the street from Dumbbell Gym.}} http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/419609/ |
| #30 Shopping | [[Stacey and Herby are floating in a sea of lilac.]]
/ Herby: Why don't we ever go to the mall together? Wouldn't it be so much fun? / Stacey: I dunno, I've never been a fan of the girlfriend - boyfriend shopping thing. / [[ || PAUSED ]]
/ Off-panel voice: Er, wait a minute. I think something's a bit... http://unicellular.smackjeeves.com/comics/419611/ |