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Irregular Webcomic! #1771 [[scene: The Vatican Library. The Joneses are tied up on chairs and the Nazis and Dr Smith have left.]] / / Monty: Grrr... Dr Smith, the traitorous rat! / / Prof. Jones: Rat? / / Monty: You want me to use a stronger word, dad? / / Prof. Jones: No... a rat could gnaw through these ropes... / / Monty: This isn't the...
Irregular Webcomic! #1772 Lambert: <groan>... Oh, I feel terrible. [[gets up]] / / Alvissa: Lambert! You're safe now. What happened? / / Lambert: I got separated from the party in the tunnels. Then I met that Gollum creature again. He... wait... Where's my ring?! He took my ring! / / Alvissa: He took it the previous time, remember?...
Irregular Webcomic! #1773 [[scene: Hospital administration counter]] / / Ophelia: We need to see a patient: Will Shakespeare. / / Nurse: Are you family? / / Mercutio: His relatives are all in England. We're his closest friends. / / Nurse: Sorry, family only. / / Mercutio: We're more important to him than family! Are you going to deny us?! / / Ophelia:...
Irregular Webcomic! #1774 Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: Pickin' up Fireballs' scraps fer sumfink 'at wasn't even my fault... / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: Well 'ere's no way, guv. I refuse. I won't collect 'em! / / [caption]: ==Mythbusters== String & doorknob dentistry / / [sound]: Fwackoom!
Irregular Webcomic! #1775 Iki Piki: We also need to recoup the capital to repay the loan shark. And dropping a large bet on a longshot will lower the odds. / / Serron: Hmmm. So we should borrow as much as we can and bet it all in order to maximise our winnings. In fact, let's bet the ship too! / / Serron: Then when we win, we skip...
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1776 Stewardess: The pilots aren't looking good. We need to land. / / Terry: Delhi and Lahore are no good. Tashkent has baboons on a balloon. / / Stewardess: Moscow? / / Terry: Weasels on a diesel. / / Stewardess: Warsaw? / / Terry: Sheep on a jeep. / / Stewardess: Stockholm? / / Terry: Goats on a boat. / / Stewardess: Copenhagen? / / Terry:...
Irregular Webcomic! #1777 [[scene: Pirates are in a giant cooking pot, surrounded by savage native cannibals]] / / Long Tom: This not be as hot as I be expectin' it. / / Dirque: Nay, it be quite relaxin'. / / Native: This is just a bath. Do you think we'd put something as dirty as you into our food without cleaning it first?
Irregular Webcomic! #1778 Minnesota Jones: Dr Smith tied us up and left us here to die. / / Monty: In a trap that will kill us within minutes... / / Minnesota Jones: Then she said in Latin: "In the year of our Lord 1879, the little general took the treasure to Paris." / / Minnesota Jones: Then she told Haken she didn't want us to know...
Irregular Webcomic! #1779 [[scene: Hospital waiting room]] / / Doctor: You're here for Will Shakespeare? I'm afraid you can't see him at the moment. He's been critically injured. He's in surgery right now. / / Marlowe: [[striding into the room]] Out of the way, one of my staff is in here! / / Mercutio: Mr Marlowe! / / Marlowe: Mercutio....
Irregular Webcomic! #1780 Lambert: [[accusingly]] It's obvious, isn't it? Alvissa is Gollum! / / Mordekai: What?! Don't be ridiculous. That'd imply some sort of bizarre multiple personality disorder! / / Kyros: Or magical possession... / / Mordekai: The idea that someone could manifest discrete identities of opposing desires and actions...
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1781 [[scene: The Legacy engine room]] / / Spanners: Quercus, I'm afraid Iki Piki and Serron have run up a hospital bill larger than the profit we made on that trip. / / Spanners: So we're not going to be able to pay you for it yet. / / [[scene change: back on the bridge]] / / Paris: What did he say? / / Spanners:...
Irregular Webcomic! #1782 [[scene: The Infinite Featureless Plane of Death. Adam and Jamie stand alone in the middle of the empty expanse.]] / / [[They look around the vast emptiness]] / / Adam: There's nobody here to pick us up? / / Jamie: Maybe we should have phoned ahead? / / Adam: You'd think they'd know to expect us by now.
Irregular Webcomic! #1783 Terry: Glasgow air traffic control, this is HL16 en route from Singapore. We require emergency landing clearance on arrival. / / Air Traffic Control: Roger HL16. Emergency crews will be ready. What's your situation? / / Steve: Finally! / / Terry: Both pilots are unconscious from snake bites and we still have...
Irregular Webcomic! #1784 [[scene: A control room, Mars]] / / Martian 1: For our next attempt to invade Earth, we plan to start by removing their leadership. / / Martian 1: This is the most powerful and popular leader on the planet. [[gesturing at a hologram of President Allosaurus]] Unfortunately, he's surrounded by security and highly...
Irregular Webcomic! #1785 Monty: Da Vinci's Last Deathtrap is going to go off any minute! We're going to die! / / Monty: [[struggles against ropes]] Gnnnn! / / Monty: Why did she have to tie these ropes so tight? / / Prof. Jones: Otherwise we'd be able to escape. / / Monty: Dad, is there a word to describe answers that are completely...
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1786 Mordekai: Well at least we're all together again. And we have light. / / Lambert: Yes. It's good having a wizard in the party. / / Kyros: That's not me. It's your sword, Lambert. / / Sting: [[singing]] If you need somebody, call my name. If you want someone, you can do the same. / / Alvissa: There must be...
Irregular Webcomic! #1787 [[scene: Hospital waiting room]] / / Ophelia: It seems so pointless, Mercutio. There's no reason behind what's happened. If this was a story I was reading, I'd be disappointed. / / Ophelia: It's just completely out of the blue. A cheap shot. Drama for its own sake and nothing else. / / Mercutio: Life's...
Irregular Webcomic! #1788 [[scene: A shady bar on a dimly lit street somewhere on Bune.]] / / Serron: This is the same bar where we met that shady black market weapons dealer who stole our organs. / / Iki Piki: What better place to look for a loan shark? / / Serron: Just be even more careful this time. / / Iki Piki: Of course. / / Iki Piki:...
Irregular Webcomic! #1789 [[scene: Flight HL16 from Singapore to Glasgow. The cockpit windows show night has fallen, with stars in the clear sky outside.]] / / Terry: Glasgow has emergency crews ready. / / Stewardess: Good. But we still need to get the snakes away from the passengers. / / Steve: Let's blow a hole in the side of the plane...
Irregular Webcomic! #1790 [[The Infinite Featureless Plane of Death. Jamie and Adam wait alone, silently.]] / / [[nothing happens]] / / [[They look around, still waiting for any sign of life. Or Death.]] / / Adam: A while back I confirmed that Death waits for no man. / / Jamie: Apparently the converse isn't true.
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1791 Draak: Orc come from that way. We go this way, fast. [[leads the party down a dim corridor]] / / Dwalin: [[standing firm]] Are we roonin' from a mere hoorde o' orcs?! We cannae leave Dwergenberg tae the likes o' them! / / Mordekai: [[stopping]] Why not? / / Dwalin: Because we're dwarves! / / Mordekai: Seeya....
Irregular Webcomic! #1792 [[scene: The Vatican Library. Close-up of Monty.]] / / Monty: [[struggles against ropes]] Gnnnn! Damn these ropes! / / Prof. Jones: [[free of his ropes, standing next to Monty]] How about I help you with those? / / Monty: Dad! How did you...? / / Prof. Jones: [[untying Monty]] I just went to scratch my nose and...
Irregular Webcomic! #1793 [[Collection of scenes from vintage Christmas cards. First is a snowy scene showing a couple in a horse-drawn sleigh fleeing from their home, while Cthulhu manifests semi-transparently in the sky behind them.]] / / Oh! You better watch out,/You better go to ground,/Your reason's in doubt,/If you stick around./Cthulhu...
Irregular Webcomic! #1794 [[zoom sequence starting on an asteroid in space, over Earth, zooming in to Earth, Washington DC, the White House, the Allosaurus seen through a rear window of the Oval Office]] / / Science Advisor: As your science advisor, Mr President, I have to warn you that Earth faces an immediate threat. / / Loren: Need...
Irregular Webcomic! #1795 Shady Black Market Weapons Dealer: You fellows looking for some fast cash? I'm a loan shark. And not secretly an organlegger. / / Serron: It's the same guy! / / Iki Piki: [[to Serron]] Shhhh...! / / Iki Piki: [[to Shady Black Market Weapons Dealer]] Er... Why yes, my good man, who we've never seen before. / / Shady...
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1796 Lambert: You know, around this time of year I always find myself thinking of my Uncle Bilbert, who hosts my family's traditional mid-winter feast. / / Alvissa: Mid-winter feast? / / Lambert: Yes. Every year, on the night of the winter solstice, we have a huge feast and exchange little presents. / / Alvissa: Every...
Irregular Webcomic! #1797 Stewardess: Look at our heading! We're off course! / / Terry: The snakes have disabled the navigation system. / / Stewardess: How can they do that?! They're animals! / / Steve: Crikey! We're headed straight towards that mountain! [[pointing to huge mountain looming ominously outside the cockpit window]] / / Terry:...
Irregular Webcomic! #1798 Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: Finance Minister, someone to see you. / / Investor: [[walking into the Nigerian Finance Minister's office]] You! I lost all my money because of you! I'm going to kill you! [[aims gun]] / / Nigerian Finance Minister: There must be some mistake. Investment in Nigeria is 100% legal...
Irregular Webcomic! #1799 Monty: [[free from his ropes]] Right. Let's get out of here before da Vinci's Last Deathtrap... / / [sound]: CLANK! Whirr! / / Monty: The trap! It's going off! Run!! [[they run to the door of the Vatican Library]] / / [sound]: SCRAPE! Whirr! GRIND! / / Prof. Jones: The door's locked! / / [sound]: KLUNK! Whirr!...
Irregular Webcomic! #1800 Me: Well, this is it. The moment you've all been waiting for. The character who is going to die is... / / [sound]: Knock! Knock! / / Me: Sorry. Excuse me just a second while I answer that. / / Me: [[answering door]] You! But what...? how...? / / [sound]: [[Me getting stabbed viciously with a long, curved blade]]...
 

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