You're browsing the archives of Irregular Webcomic!.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Irregular Webcomic! #1981 | Monty: Why are you a Nazi, Erwin? Can't you see they're plotting to take over the world? / / [sound]: Punch! [[Monty punches Erwin]] / / Erwin: My mother always said I should have ambition. I want to be a great leader one day. / / [sound]: Smakk! [[Erwin elbows Monty]] / / Monty: Like der Führer? / / Erwin: Ja.... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1981.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1982 | Jamie: [[scooping up a cup of water from the subterranean river]] First we need three parts of Mnemosyne water, to retain the memories we want... / / Adam: And seven parts of Lethe water to erase the ones we don't want... / / Jamie: And finally four parts of top shelf single malt Scotch whisky. / / Charon: What's... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1982.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1983 | [[scene: The bridge of the Legacy]] / / Serron: Everyone's on board. Quick, take off! / / Paris: Where to? / / Quercus: Eisbach. I got us another cargo of water worm spice. / / Paris: I'm glad somebody is doing their job around here. / / Serron: Hey, our job is to make life interesting. / / Iki Piki: You... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1983.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1984 | [[scene: Dagobah]] / / Luke: Master, moving stones around is one thing. This is totally different. / / Yoda: No! No different! Only different in your mind. / / Yoda: You must unlearn what you have learned. / / Luke: Well I've already forgotten my high school algebra and French, does that help? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1984.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1985 | [[scene: The native camp, where the natives are busy boiling Captain Long Tom Short and Dirty Dirque in a giant pot]] / / Ponsonby: Unhand those pirates! / / Native: Very well... / / Native: [[turning to another native]] Get the limb-cleaver! / / Ponsonby: All right then... First of all, let me commend you... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1985.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1986 | SASquaTCH Assistant: It looked vaguely reptilian! / / Jane Goodall: Hmmm. I'm mainly good with primates. We need a competent reptile handler who can get to Loch Ness as soon as possible. / / SASquaTCH Assistant: Isn't Steve in a police cell in Glasgow? / / Jane Goodall: Yeah, I cant think of anyone either. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1986.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1987 | Me: What if I refuse to kill myself in the past? / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: CHOO'D CAUSE A PARADOX, SEEINGS WOT CHOO'VE ALREADY DONE IT. / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: AND THE HEAD DEFF DON'T LIKE PARADOXES. / / Me: Oh... doesn't he now...? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1987.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1988 | Dwalin: 'nd hoo d'ye supoose wi're gooing tae git oot o' here, then? [[translation: And how are we going to get out of here?]] / / Lambert: You're a dwarf. Can't you detect shifting stone blocks and secret passages and stuff? / / Dwalin: Ooh, aye. That I can, laddie! [[translation: Why yes, I can!]] / / Lambert:... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1988.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1989 | Erwin: [[on the truck roof]] Herr Doktor Jones! Hang on! / / Monty: [[clinging precariously to the radiator grille of the speeding truck]] Now you want to save me?! Bit inconsistent, aren't you? / / Erwin: See, this is another good reason for being a Nazi! I can be arbitrary and inconsistent! / / Erwin: Doktor... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1989.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1990 | [[scene: The bridge of the Legacy, now flying through space]] / / Iki Piki: So if you're from the future, why don't you go back there and leave us alone? / / Iki Piki 2: We are going back, the only way we can. One day at a time. We don't have the time machine here unfortunately. / / Iki Piki... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1990.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1991 | Jamie: Wait. Before we lose our omniscience, we should use it to come up with a plan to return to life. / / Charon: And how are you going to do that? You're here in the Underworld already. / / Charon: The only way for you to return is if I decide to take you back. And there's nothing you can bribe me with. / / Adam:... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1991.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1992 | Ishmael: [[into phone]] Hi, I'm calling to volunteer for the space mission to deflect the asteroid, that the government advertised on the net. I have experience dealing with Martian plans. / / Charity Collector Guy: [[into phone]] But do you know anything about deploying nuclear explosives? / / Ishmael: [[into... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1992.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1993 | Native: It's still your pistol against our poison spears. You can't force us to release the pirates. / / Ponsonby: Why do you want to eat them anyway? / / Native: So we gain their abilities! / / Ponsonby: What, the ability to be captured and eaten by a bunch of primitives with inferior weapons? / / Native 2: They... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1993.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1994 | [[scene: The cantina on Mos Eisley]] / / [sound]: BLAM! / / Han: Oh my god... I left the safety off! I must have bumped the trigger when I shifted in my chair! / / Han: Greedo, old pal! Are you okay?! Greedo? Don't play around with me, buddy... Oh no!!! / / Han: WHAT HAVE I DONE?!??!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1994.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1995 | [[scene: The streets of Glasgow]] / / SASquaTCH Assistant: So how will we secure Steve's release from custody? / / SASquaTCH Assistant: Use your reputation as a world-leading scientist and humanitarian to sway the police? / / Jane Goodall: No. That's no fun at all. / / Jane Goodall: Let's bust him out. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1995.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1996 | Lambert: This reminds me of the time my uncle Bilbert was imprisoned for attempting to destroy a store of hay and children's clothing. / / Lambert: He told the judge the owners were planning to build an effigy of him to burn for alleged earlier crimes, and he just wanted to prevent this insult. / / Lambert:... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1996.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1997 | Iki Piki: So when do we find this time machine? / / Serron 2: That's privileged future information. If we told you that it could change history. / / Paris: Like that bet you told them to make? / / Serron 2: I only did that to make us rich! / / Paris: Oh, that makes it okay? / / Serron 2: Yes!! Who's the experienced... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1997.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1998 | Prof. Jones: Junior's fallen under the truck! / / Prof. Jones: Oooh! He's caught on with his whip! / / Minnesota Jones: I did that once. On a dirt road outside Cairo. / / Minnesota Jones: Lot easier than on cobblestones... / / [sound]: Bump! Bump! Bump! / / Monty: [[being dragged along the cobbled street behind the... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1998.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1999 | Charon: You can't blackmail me! / / Jamie: I think we just did. / / Adam: I know we just did. / / Charon: Grrrr. Very well. I'll return you to life. Now drink your potion. / / Jamie: Nice try. Not until we're alive. We don't want to forget that Elvis is still alive - because of you. / / Adam: How could you interfere... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1999.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2000 | Long Tom: [[out of the cooking pot]] So ye'll be releasin' us, then? / / Native: Not so fast. Even though we won't eat you, we can still make toothpicks from your bones. / / Ponsonby: That would be a job lot of toothpicks. How many do you need? / / Native: Do you know how stringy human flesh is? / / Ponsonby: Words... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2000.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2001 | [[scene: Giuseppe's pizza shop]] / / Giuseppe: [[into phone]] ... one large pepperoni, and a garlic bread. Bene! / / Ishmael: Hey, Giuseppe! / / Giuseppe: Un momento, Ishmael; taking an order. [[into phone]] Address? Infinite Featureless Plane. Sė, will be there in half an hour. / / Ishmael: I need a week off. I'm... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2001.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2002 | SASquaTCH Assistant: A prison break? Are you mad?! / / SASquaTCH Assistant: When the authorities catch Steve again, they'll punish him even more severely! / / [[beat]] / / [[beat]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/2002.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2003 | Paris: You're not from the future. I'm not going to go back in time. So what do we do with you? / / Paris 2: Let me pilot the ship. You can go to your eternal rest. / / Paris: Oh you'd love that, wouldn't you? It would be too easy to take over my life. / / Paris 2: You'd never have to see Serron again. / / Paris:... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2003.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2004 | Lambert: Lockpicks? / / Mordekai: Confiscated. / / Lambert: Bribe the guard? / / Alvissa: Our money, too. / / Lambert: Knock spell? / / Kyros: I'm a fire wizard! / / Lambert: Did they mysteriously leave it unlocked? / / Draak: No. / / Lambert: Digging? / / Dwalin: If ye've got a few millenia. / / Lambert: So there's no way... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2004.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2005 | [sound]: Haul! Climb! [[Monty climbs up in to the back of the truck, with Dr Smith's help]] / / [sound]: Smak! Smak! [[Dr Smith kisses him on the cheeks]] / / Monty: What was that?! / / Ginny: This is how we greet friends in Russia. / / Monty: We're friends now?? / / Ginny: You would rather me push you off the truck... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2005.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2006 | Long Tom: This situation be callin' fer French battle plan number one! / / Wendy: Aye, cap'n! / / Dirque: Aye, cap'n! / / Ponsonby: French...? / / Long Tom: BE RUNNIN'!!! [[the pirates run!]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/2006.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2007 | [[scene: The land of the living, somewhere in the wilderness]] / / Charon: Here you go. The land of the living. Now get off. I don't want to see you again. / / Adam: We're in the middle of nowhere! Can't you drop us off somewhere more convenient? / / Charon: What sort of reaction would it cause if I showed up... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2007.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2008 | [[scene: A prison cell in Glasgow. Night.]] / / [sound]: plink! tok... tok... tok... / / Steve: Crikey! A stone! With a note wrapped around it! / / Steve: "Stand right up close against the wall with the win..." / / [sound]: Fwackoom! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2008.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2009 | Martian 2: The Earthlings are planning a mission to deflect the asteroid. / / Martian 1: Has our local agent recovered? / / Martian 2: Yes. Fortunately we gave her full regeneration capabilities. / / [[scene change: a NASA facility, where Ishmael is meeting a NASA representative]] / / Ishmael: Loren Ipsum? That's... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2009.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2010 | Paris 2: We're approaching Eisbach. / / Paris: Oh no you don't! As pilot, that's my job! / / Paris: Everyone, we're approaching Eisbach. / / Serron: It's your job to announce what's blindingly obvious by looking out the window? [[a huge planet looms outside the cockpit window]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/2010.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 >>