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Irregular Webcomic! #2884 [[scene: Ishmael's college room]] / / SFX: Knock! Knock! / / Loren: Why don't you ever call me, Ishmael? / / Ishmael: Loren! / / Ishmael: Because you're an evil manipulative witch! A slovenly trull! / / Loren: You're not getting me mixed up with some ex-girlfriend, are you? / / Ishmael: No, none of them are actually sadistic...
Irregular Webcomic! #2885 [[scene: Bune, the shady black market weapons dealer's front door]] / / Paris: This is the address. The door's locked. Let's check around the back. / / [[scene change: around the back, in the alley]] / / Quercus: There's a garbage skip here. Hey! They're inside it! / / Iki Piki: Paris! Qercus! Are we glad to see...
Irregular Webcomic! #2886 Kyros: Waters of the Swamp of Terror, part and reveal the way to the Golden Citadel! / / [[a path appears]] / / Lambert: It worked! There's a path! / / Mordekai: Not so fast. We haven't reached the Golden Citadel yet. / / Alvissa: And the nominees for most obvious statement of the last six years are...
Irregular Webcomic! #2887 SFX: JURRRZ! [[time machine appears]] / / Isaac Newton: Charles Darwin? / / Charles Darwin: Yes? / / Isaac Newton: You must accompany me into the unknown future. / / Charles Darwin: Over my dead body. / / Caption: Westminster Abbey, 2010. / / [[photo of interior of Westminster Abbey, with arrows showing Newton's tomb...
Irregular Webcomic! #2888 Jane Goodall: This is Hitler's command room. He rarely leaves. All we need to do is go in and let Steve wrestle him. / / Terry: Won't he have guards? / / Jane Goodall: No. He's too insanely overconfident. The man is practically brainless. / / [[They enter and see ranks of brains in jars]] / / Steve: Crikey!
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2889 Caption: Church bells ring / like an omen. / The ocean sings; / the sea is foamin'. / You will have no shame / if Marsh is your name / breeding for an underwater lair. / / Caption: Every year / is a leap one. / Staying here / are the Deep Ones. / They bargained our women; / now our kids are swimmin', /...
Irregular Webcomic! #2890 Paris: What's the matter with you two? You look like you've seen a ghost. / / Iki Piki: Um... / / Serron: Our vital organs have been removed! We need transplants! / / Quercus: Where are the organs you were delivering? / / Iki Piki: We delivered them. / / Paris: Hmmm. Well, the payment you received might cover...
Irregular Webcomic! #2891 Me: So to save the universe, I have to kill myself? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: YES. BUT NOT JUST SUICIDE. YOU HAVE TO GO BACK IN TIME AND MURDER YOUR PAST SELF. / / Me: Doesn't that sort of thing normally cause reality destroying paradoxes, not prevent them? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered...
Irregular Webcomic! #2892 Adam: How will we know if the cat turns into antimatter and starts travelling backwards through time? / / Adam: As opposed to, you know, being reduced to a plasma of component subatomic particles by the intense gamma radiation? / / Jamie: We never owned a cat at university, did we? / / Adam: No. / / Jamie: Soon...
Irregular Webcomic! #2893 Ishmael: What have you done with Moby Tom?! / / Loren: I haven't done anything. / / Loren: Your cat is not what it seems. It's travelling through time. Manipulating the minds of some of the greatest scientists in history. / / Ishmael: Oh yeah? If he could influence great scientists, why on Earth would he live...
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2894 [[Out on the street]] / / Mercutio: Excuse me, where are we and what's today's date? / / Stranger: Cornmarket Street. 29th of December. / / Mercutio: No, what city, and year? / / Stranger: Uh. Oxford. 1940. What are you, some sort of time traveller? / / Shakespeare: Oxford in 1940! We can visit Professor Tolkien! / / Ophelia:...
Irregular Webcomic! #2895 Isaac Newton: Mr Darwin, I am Isaac Newton and this is Edmond Halley. We are travelling through time to gather the greatest intellects in history. / / Charles Darwin: Oh. How do you choose those? / / Isaac Newton: It's a natural process of selection. / / Charles Darwin: That sounds like a very intelligent de...
Irregular Webcomic! #2896 Lambert: Did I ever tell you about my other uncle, Harold? / / Mordekai: Nooo... / / Lambert: He became obsessed with death. Took up religion to soothe his fears. He converted to Judaism. / / Mordekai: Wow, really? / / Lambert: Yes. But that didn't stop him going around telling people the names of everyone who had...
Irregular Webcomic! #2897 Hitler's Brain: At last we are back in my Berlin Headquarters. / / Monty: So who runs your despicable Nazi war machine while you're away? / / Hitler's Brain: [[entering a room through a doorway]] Die only man I can trust. / / Hitler's Brain: Copies of me!! [[dramatically reveals ranks of cloned brains]] / / Haken:...
Irregular Webcomic! #2898 [[scene: The Tower of London]] / / Long Tom: Be givin' no quarter! / / Dirque: Arrr! / / Wendy: Arrr! / / Beefeater 1: What? / / Long Tom: Unlike some pirates, we actually be doin' somethin'! Arrrr! / / Beefeater 1: Join the Yeoman Warders, they said. Cushy job, they said. / / Beefeater 1: Aaargh! / / Beefeater 2: They never...
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2899 Hitler's Brain Clones: Guten tag. We are die Führer. / / Jane Goodall: Oh, using the royal "we", are we? / / Hitler's Brain Clones: Nein! We are using die plural "we"! / / Jane Goodall: Ah, good. I didn't think my eyesight was that bad.
Irregular Webcomic! #2900 [[scene: a street on Bune]] / / Paris: Let's get you to a hospital to replace your organs. / / Iki Piki: They took my splanch. I doubt there'll be a spare one of those just lying around on this planet. / / Paris: We can only try. Where else are we going to find suitable organs? / / [[scene change: Inside the Shady...
Irregular Webcomic! #2901 [[scene: a Mars base. Adam and Jamie stumble across a giant swastika.]] / / Young Jamie: Uh oh. This is a Nazi base! / / Young Adam: Gee, you think? / / Young Jamie: On Mars! In 1947! This can mean only one thing! / / Young Adam: This whole time travel thing is some sort of dream sequence? / / Young Jamie: Okay,...
Irregular Webcomic! #2902 [[scene: Isaac Newton's time conveyance]] / / Isaac Newton: We now have the greatest collection of living natural philosophers ever assembled. / / Edmond Halley: Living? But they span several centuries of history. Some are dead and some have not even been born in our time! / / Isaac Newton: Hands up anyone who...
Irregular Webcomic! #2903 Alvissa: Night's falling. We better make camp. / / Mordekai: It's fun to stay at the: Y! M! C! A! / / Lambert: They have everything that you need to enjoy! / / Mordekai + Lambert: You can hang out with all the boys! / / Alvissa: Not that sort of camp! / / Lambert: Holy misunderstandings, Batman!
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2904 Loren: I'm afraid your cat has been abducted for a scientific experiment. / / Loren: It's been turned into a quantum Schrödinger Cheshire cat who walks through walls. A Napoleon of crime who travels through time. / / Ishmael: Why are you telling me this? / / Loren: Because there's unresolved sexual tension...
Irregular Webcomic! #2905 [[scene: Outdoors]] / / Me: But a version of me from the future came back and tried to kill me before, and I got away. Maybe I'm too smart for myself. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: OR TOO STUPID TO OUTSMART YOURSELF. / / Me: Or too smart to allow myself to outsmart me. / / Death of Insanely...
Irregular Webcomic! #2906 Monty: You've made copies of yourself? How is this possible? / / Hitler's Brain: Nazi science! / / Monty: You fiend! / / Hitler's Brain: Also, we found this trove of spare gherkin jars when we invaded Poland.
Irregular Webcomic! #2907 [[scene: The Infinite Featureless Plane of Death]] / / Death of Being Stabbed By A Cutlass: BIENVENIDO AL PAÍS DE LOS MUERTOS. / / Death of Being Stabbed By A Cutlass: WELL WELL WELL... 1940 BE THE YEAR IN WHICH BEING STABBED BY A CUTLASS MAKES A COMEBACK. / / Beefeater 2: So we failed to protect the Crown...
Irregular Webcomic! #2908 Isaac Newton: Ahem. / / SFX: Yammer Yammer Yammer / / Isaac Newton: Gentlemen... / / SFX: Yammer Yammer Yammer / / Edmond Halley: QUIET! / / Charles Darwin: You just interrupted the greatest scientific congress in history. / / Isaac Newton: Yes, and like all speakers you went over time.
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2909 [[scene: a hospital on Bune]] / / Iki Piki: Hi, we need some pachekki and sparrial organs implanted to replace ones we lost. / / Nurse: What a coincidence. We just bought these organs off a completely legitimate organ dealer. Very expensive. / / Serron: Hey! Those are ours! / / Nurse: Not until you pay for them. / / Iki...
Irregular Webcomic! #2910 Head Death: 20th century Beefeaters killed by 17th century pirates?! This has gone on long enough! Get me Paradox on the phone! / / Intercom: Yes, sir. / / Head Death: Paradox, I've had it up to here with these shenanigans! / / Phone: Ribbit. / / Head Death: Stop causing impossible things to happen! You hear me?! / / Phone:...
Irregular Webcomic! #2911 Steve: Crikey! Shall I wrestle 'em?! / / Terry: Steve, you can't wrestle brains in jars. / / Steve: Oh yeah? I'll take 'em with one brain tied behind me back! / / Terry: <sigh> That's not what I meant. / / Charity Collector Guy: Actually, I'd kind of like to see that. / / [[Jane Goodall is talking to Isaac Newton...
Irregular Webcomic! #2912 Draak: No moon this night. / / Alvissa: We'll make a campfire. But there's no dry wood in this swamp. Kyros, can you oblige? / / Kyros: You want me to create wood? That's not even one of the classical four elements. / / Alvissa: Or, maybe, you know, fire? / / Kyros: Ohhh...
Irregular Webcomic! #2913 Loren: We need to track down your cat and all the scientific minds it has come into contact with. / / Ishmael: What if we don't? / / Loren: Then the Nazis will have already won. / / Ishmael: Nazis? What have they got to do with it? / / Loren: Hello?! Time travel! / / Ishmael: Oh, right.
 

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