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Irregular Webcomic! #1 Me: Hey, there's comics on the Internet! / / Me: [[stares at computer monitor]] / / Me: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! / / Me: What a waste of time.
Irregular Webcomic! #2 Me: I should make my own webcomic. / / Me: [[thoughtful look]] / / Me: Naah. Too geeky. / / Me: [[sits behind a pile of RPG books and figurines]] I'll stick to roleplaying.
Irregular Webcomic! #3 Mordekai: Hail, hobbit merchant and elf maiden! May I join your caravan? / Alvissa: Are you a pickpocket? / / Mordekai: Please! Pickpockets are thieves! / / Alvissa: Oh, sorry... no offence. / / Mordekai: But I do know how to pick pockets.
Irregular Webcomic! #4 Lambert: Our caravan is passing through lands infested with orcs. / / Mordekai: I'll stay at the back! / / GM: So you're doing the rearguard scouting? / / Mordekai: That's a bit of a noble way of putting it.
Irregular Webcomic! #5 Mordekai: 'Tis strange, Alvissa, how we always seem to come across orcs in these parts. / / Alvissa: Not strange at all. The GM can only send us against monsters he has miniatures for. / / GM: [[foul look]] / / Allosaurus: RAAARRRHH!
 
Irregular Webcomic! #6 Me: Okay, Marty, prepare to be annihilated! / / Yahoo: [[Literati screen, a Scrabble-like game]] ***71 points awarded to Marty. 'deciduas'. (1 1 1 1 1 1 1x2)(2 2). 35 point bingo bonus. / / dmmaus: Oh, good word! / / Me: [[consulting dictionary with boggled look]]
Irregular Webcomic! #7 Steve: Crikey! Wrangling crocs is getting too easy. I need a new challenge! / / Terry: Like what, Steve? / / Steve: I'll find something... / / Allosaurus: RAAARRRHH!
Irregular Webcomic! #8 Steve: Crikey! This croc's getting a bit stroppy! / / Steve: 'e's getting loose! Terry, grab that cobra and give 'im a good whacking! / / Terry: [[grabs cobra]] Like this? / Steve: Yeah! Bewdiful! / / Me: Why do I watch this show?
Irregular Webcomic! #9 Alvissa: Well met, wizard Kyros. What news? / / Kyros: Good and bad news. Helm's Deep has held out well and the Ents have destroyed Isengard. But ill news from the east. Faramir has taken the ring-bearer captive to Osgiliath! / / Alvissa: But, but... that's evil! / / GM: Can we stop talking about plot changes in The Two Towers and get on with the game?
Irregular Webcomic! #10 Lambert, Mordekai, Alvissa: Phew, it's finally dead! / / Kyros: Careful! There may be more around. / / Mordekai: Oh c'mon! How many dinosaur models can one person have? / / Dinosaurs: [[fully surrounding party]] RAAARRRHH!
 
Irregular Webcomic! #11 Kryos: I polymorph into a mighty hunting creature! / / GM: Okay, make a spell roll. / / Kyros: D'oh! Critical failure. / / Mordekai, Lambert, Alvissa: Ho ho ho ho ho ho!!! / Kyros: [[now with the appearance of Steve]] That's not funny!
Irregular Webcomic! #12 Lambert: A friendly looking tavern. Just the place to partake of second supper. Don't do anything to upset the locals, Mordekai. / Mordekai: Would I do anything like that? / / GM: You rolled whatfor Pick Pockets? / / Locals: Kill the thief!
Irregular Webcomic! #13 Alvissa: This man's injured! [[Man has sword through chest]] / / Lambert: Quick, get a healer! / / Alvissa: I'm afraid he's beyond a healer. / / Kyros: Quick, get a necromancer!
Irregular Webcomic! #14 Terry: Steve! Are you okay? / / Steve: Yeah, she's apples Terry. It's only a spider and a scorpion and a killer taipan. / / Steve: AARRGH!! Get it off! Get it off! / Terry: What is it? The scorpion or the spider? / / Steve: Nah, this bloody parrot's biting my finger!
Irregular Webcomic! #15 Me: [[typing on keyboard]] / / Screen: %rn / Screen: ****** End of newsgroups -- what next? [npq] / Screen: g alt.fan.irregularwebcomic / / Screen: %rn / Screen: ****** End of newsgroups -- what next? [npq] / Screen: g alt.fan.irregularwebcomic / Screen: Newsgroup alt.fan.irregularwebcomic does not exist! / / Me: [[starts crying]]
 
Irregular Webcomic! #16 Alvissa: Your sword is magical, Lambert? / / Lambert: Yes, it's called Sting. My uncle Bilbert gave it to me. / / Alvissa: Does it glow blue when orcs are nearby? / / Lambert: No. It sings Don't Stand So Close To Me.
Irregular Webcomic! #17 GM: Surprise! Today we're playing a science fiction game. / / GM: The new minis aren't painted yet, so today we'll use temporary figures. [[presents LEGO figures]] / / Serron: Cool! / Iki Piki: Hey, nice threads! / / Spanners: Very Matrix. / Paris: Hey! Why am I the redshirt?!
Irregular Webcomic! #18 Paris: So, if this is science fiction, why are we slogging through a godforsaken swamp? On foot?! / / Serron: Shh... There's probably foul creatures about. / Paris: If it's another dinosaur, I swear I'll scream. / / GM: [[evil grin]] / / Jar Jar: Meesa Jar Jar Binks! / Paris: Aaaarrrgggh!!!
Irregular Webcomic! #19 Serron: Laser Swords! / [sound]: WOOOHM! WOOOHM! / Jar Jar: No! Meesa... / / [sound]: WOOOHM! WOOOHM! WOOOHM! WOOOHM! WOOOHM! WOOOHM! WOOOHM![[Jar Jar is beheaded]] / / [sound]: WOOOHM! WOOOHM! WOOOHM! WOOOHM! WOOOHM! WOOOHM! / / GM: Okay, the fight's well and truly over. You can stop making those silly sword noises.
Irregular Webcomic! #20 Terry: Mail for you, Steve / Steve: Bewdy! Open 'er up, Terry. / / Terry: Oh no!! / / Steve: What is it? Another reptile species on the endangered list? Old growth forest logging in a sensitive wilderness wildlife habitat area? Government zoology research funding slashed? / / Terry: Your life insurance premium is going up again.
 
Irregular Webcomic! #21 Paris: This must be the right door. Open it, Spanners. / / [sound]: Click. Bzzzzzzt. [[doors slide open]] / / Emperor: Young fools! Only now, at the end, do you understand! / / Iki Piki: [[who looks like Luke Skywalker]] Close it! Close it! Close it!
Irregular Webcomic! #22 Saruman: You have lost, Kyros, and I, Saruman, have prevailed! / / Saruman: I cast you to the top of Orthanc, from whence even the might Gandalf could not escape unaided! / / Kyros: I cast Feather Fall and step off the edge. / / GM: Say what...?!
Irregular Webcomic! #23 Me: Need an idea for a new comic. / / Me: [[gets great idea]] / / Me: Oh man, that's hilarious! Now, how many panels do I need? / / Me: 1. Thinking. 2. Get the idea. 3. Say how funny it is. 4. List the panels. 5. Great punchline.
Irregular Webcomic! #24 Haken: So, Dr. Jones, we meet again. [[taunting the tied up Monty]] / / Haken: This time, no mistakes. I'm just going to kill you. / / Monty: You... you... you... jackbooted Nazi! / / Haken: Really now, Dr. Jones. This is 1937 Germany. You'll have to come up with a better insult than that.
Irregular Webcomic! #25 Monty: [[peering into snake pit]] Snakes! No problem. I'll go first. / / GM: Hang on. You're afraid of snakes. Fright check at -5. / / Monty: No, I took Phobia: Spiders instead. / / GM: [[slaps head]] D'oh!
 
Irregular Webcomic! #26 Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for. / Stormtrooper: These aren't the droids I'm looking for. / Obi-Wan: Move along. / Stormtrooper: Move along! / / Spanners: How...? / Obi-Wan: The Force can have a strong effect on the weak-minded. / / Iki Piki: Hey! Where's Paris? / / Paris: These aren't the droids I'm looking for. / Paris: These aren't the droids I'm looking for.
Irregular Webcomic! #27 GM: Good News! The new minis are painted, so we can stop using the temporary ones. Paris... / / Paris: [[hoists large gun]] Now that's more like it! Let's kick some butt! / / GM: Iki Piki... / / Iki Piki: [[now a blue alien]] I'm an alien?! / Paris: You didn't know?
Irregular Webcomic! #28 GM: Here's the new minis for Serron and Spanners. / / Serron: [[now a dog-like alien]] All right! / Spanners: [[now a green mantis alien with a big gun]] Fear my exoskeleton! / / Iki Piki: [[to Serron]] You're wearing that in a science fiction setting? Serious lack of fashion sense. / / Serron: [[points out Iki Piki's blue, green, and yellow look]] Look who's talking, lurid-boy.
Irregular Webcomic! #29 Spanners: *crunch*crunch* / Iki Piki: What are you eating? / / Spanners: Cockroaches. I like the chitin. What do you eat? / / Iki Piki: Chopped worm sandwiches. / Spanners: EWWWW!!! / / Spanners: How can you eat dead food?! That's disgusting!
Irregular Webcomic! #30 Haken: Ich habe genug dieses unverschamten Schweinhund gehabt, der meine schlechten Plane fur Weltherrschaft verdirbt! / / Haken: Geh Herr Doktor Jones gefangennehmen und toten ihn in einer schmerzlichsten Weise! Sofort und mit extremem Voruteil! / / Haken: Schnell!!! / Erwin: Jawohl, mein Kommandant! / / Haken: I love German. It's such a good language to get angry in.
 

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