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| Irregular Webcomic! #601 | Monty: [[accusingly]] You would have sold out the secrets of Atlantis to the Nazis for money?! / / Ginny: Why get involved in political disputes? They're no worse than any other government. / / Ginny: Besides, I need the money to support my dear mother in luxury in her old age. / / Prof. Jones: You know, Junior, I'm beginning to like her. http://irregularwebcomic.net/601.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #602 | Ophelia: [[back in the office, standing with Will near his desk]] Well, I guess we'd better head straight to the board room. / / Shakespeare: [[walking with her to the meeting room]] Do you have a copy of the agenda for the productivity meeting? / / Ophelia: No, I think only Mr Marlowe has it. / / Shakespeare: Ah, as I suspected. A hidden agenda. http://irregularwebcomic.net/602.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #603 | Pleydell-Smith: [[in Strangways' cottage, holding up a piece of paper]] I've found a receipt from Dawson - for analysis of some mineral samples. Do you think it's a clue? / / Stud: Don't be ridiculous. It's completely unimportant. / / Pleydell-Smith: It's marked "Crab Key. Radioactive. Dr No. Secret Base. Missile Toppling. World Domination." / / Stud: See? There's nothing more we can learn from that. http://irregularwebcomic.net/603.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #604 | Monty: Dad, a private word. / / Monty: [[over in the far corner of the cell, away from Dr Smith]] How can you like her? She's just as bad as the Nazis! / / Prof. Jones: I don't know about that, Junior. She strikes me as a lot better than any of the Nazis I've encountered. / / Prof. Jones: If you get what I mean... / Monty: Dad!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/604.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #605 | [[scene: back in the tavern, the four adventurers without Alvissa]] / Kyros: Yeah, I killed a Balrog once. / / Kyros: From the deepest pits of Moria we climbed the Endless Stair to the peak of Zirak-Zigil, where we fought ten days and nights. / / Kyros: Until at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin on the mountainside. / / Lambert: You climbed this Endless Stair from the bottom to the top? So it actually has two ends? / Kyros: You calling me a liar? http://irregularwebcomic.net/605.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #606 | Spanners: I've installed a revolutionary new computer system. / / Spanners: It solves problems by a populist program of grassroots political activism, building support until the answer overthrows the establishment. / / Iki Piki: Can you explain that in simpler terms? / / Spanners: You know how most computers calculate in powers of two? This one uses the Power of One. http://irregularwebcomic.net/606.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #607 | Prof. Jones: [[back within Dr Smith's earshot]] Well, we should try to escape, I suppose. Let's start making a tunnel. / / Monty: A tunnel?! Are you nuts, dad? It's 60 feet of hard-packed earth, and we'll emerge in the middle of Potsdamer Platz! / Ginny: He's right. / / Prof. Jones: This is the problem with archaeology these days... / / Prof. Jones: All that library research, but you can't handle a little digging! http://irregularwebcomic.net/607.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #608 | Terry: Steve! You're home! / Steve: Yeah, I got fired from me teachin' job. / / Terry: Oh, too bad. Jane Goodall called. She left a message for you. / / Steve: Crikey! Does she need my help with rampaging hippos? Overly aggressive elephants? Stroppy gorillas? / / Terry: "UNESCO has gazetted all of Africa as a Special Biosphere Reserve. Steve must now remain at least 50km off the coast at all times." http://irregularwebcomic.net/608.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #609 | [[scene: meeting room]] / Shakespeare: [[to Mercutio as he enters]] Hi Mercutio. Still hacking Linux? / / Mercutio: Yeah. This office would be much easier to administrate if you all switched over, you know. / / Ophelia: But I prefer my Macintosh. / Shakespeare: And I like my Windows apps. / / Mercutio: A plague on both your OSes! http://irregularwebcomic.net/609.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #610 | [[scene: The prison cell in Berlin. Monty is digging a hole in the floor.]] / Prof. Jones: Don't worry, Dr Smith, we'll soon have this tunnel dug and we'll go around the front and get the keys to let you out. / / Ginny: And then we just waltz past the entire Nazi army and all the way out of Germany? / / Monty: [[sitting up from hs labour]] We've done it before. / Ginny: Successfully? / / Monty: Of course! / Ginny: So your present visit to Berlin is just a social call, then? http://irregularwebcomic.net/610.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #611 | Mordekai: [[still in the tavern]] I'm bored. What can we do? / / Draak: Draak want fight. What say we start bar brawl? / Lambert: Yeah! / / GM: Are you out of your minds?! It's full of armed people! A wooden building with open torches and oil lamps everywhere! / / Kyros: Well, I can't think of any reason not to... http://irregularwebcomic.net/611.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #612 | Stud: [[holding up a photo he has found in Strangway's cottage]] Who's this in this photo with Strangways? / / Pleydell-Smith: Native fisherman by the name of Quarrel. Strangways was always going out on fishing trips. / / Stud: Hmmm... maybe I should do some "fishing" too. / / Pleydell-Smith: Ah, you think he was on to something, and want to follow his tracks? / Stud: What? No, I just like fishing. http://irregularwebcomic.net/612.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #613 | [[scene: The prison cell. Monty is lying on his stomach, digging. There is some rubble on the floor around him.]] / Prof. Jones: Someone's coming! Quick, Junior, cover up the tunnel entrance! / / Erwin: Die Fuhrer says he wishes to see die archaeological expert... / Monty: I guess that's me. Lead the way, Erwin. / / Erwin: ... on Atlantis. [[opening Dr Smith's cell]] Fraulein Doktor Smith, follow me please. / / Monty: [[after Erwin and Dr Smith have left]] Hitler did that on purpose. Psychological warfare. / Prof. Jones: He's quite the brain, you know. http://irregularwebcomic.net/613.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #614 | Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: [[walking across the infinite grey plane of Death]] 900 years, 900 years. Who do I know who's lived for over 900 years? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: [[camera tracking back]] Ah, I know... But there's no way he'll die naturally. I'll need some help. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: [[camera pulls right back, showing the vast expanse of the infinite plane around him]] But who would be crazy enough to take him on...? / / [[scene change: Steve and Terry's house]] / Steve: [[on the phone]] You want me to wrestle Cthulhu to wear 'im out and hasten 'is death by old age? Crikey! http://irregularwebcomic.net/614.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #615 | [newspaper]: ALLOSAURUS TO DEBATE G.W. BUSH / [newspaper]: WASHINGTON - In a surprise move, the Allosaurus who announced in March his intention to run for the US Presidency has agreed to a televised debate with President Bush. The Bush campaign issued the challenge, calculating that showing the public exactly what species they could be voting for in November might shock them into sticking with a human. / [newspaper]: "He has no experience in speechifyin'," said a defiant Bush, "I'll bite his head off!" The Allosaurus quietly expressed the opinon that if anyone was going to bite heads off, it would be him. / [newspaper]: The Allosaurus campaign is confident that Bush's tactic will backfire. "All our candidate can do is roar," said a campaign spokesperson, "but we think that puts him at a distinct advantage in an intellectual debate over the President." http://irregularwebcomic.net/615.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #616 | [[scene: Hitler's brain's chamber. Haken and Erwin stand flanking Dr Smith.]] / Hitler's Brain: So, Fraulein Doktor Smith. I have decided to increase my offer for leading an expedition to Atlantis to match your request. / / Ginny: And the bonuses for any additional information? / / Hitler's Brain: Ja, ja. But there is nothing else you know that is of use to me that I do not already know. / / Ginny: Professor and Doctor Jones are digging an escape tunnel. http://irregularwebcomic.net/616.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #617 | [[The ship's bridge. The characters are watching the stars outside and the computer displays.]] / / [[The character's begin fading, losing colour saturation and becoming lighter compared to the space outside.]] / / Paris: [[fading even more]] What's happening to us?! / Spanners: The ship is accelerating close to the speed of light. / / Paris: [[now faded almost to white]] Yes... so? / Spanners: Our gamma is increasing. http://irregularwebcomic.net/617.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #618 | Marlowe: [[addressing his staff in the meeting room]] Realigning revenusability metrics encapsulates leveraging scalable synergistic functionality paradigms, proactivating robust scenario rolloutsourcing methodologies. / / Ophelia: [[whispering to Will]] Ugh, corporate buzzword-speak. I don't think I've ever heard English abused so badly! / / Shakespeare: English is a living language, Ophelia. The great writers of the past used to invent new words and usages all the time. / / Ophelia: Well, it was okay when the smartest people did it. But nowadays it's the stupidest people doing it. http://irregularwebcomic.net/618.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #619 | Monty: [[only his upper body showing out of the hole he has dug in the cell floor]] The tunnel's nearly done, dad. / / Prof. Jones: We'll have to wait for Dr Smith to return so we can escape together, of course. / / Monty: [[stepping out of the tunnel]] We can't afford to hang around here waiting! / Prof. Jones: She needs to be rescued! / / [[scene change: Hitler's brain's chamber]] / Hitler's Brain: So, Kolonel Haken and Erwin will take you wherever you wish to go, in luxury. / Ginny: Right. Santorini. http://irregularwebcomic.net/619.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #620 | [[scene: The Axis of Antagonist's secret hideout. The Hippo sits nursing wounds from his last fight with the Good Guys.]] / The Sea Dog: [[to Aqualich]] Arrr! How be those Good Guys findin' out the Hippo be plannin' to rob yon bank? / Aqualich: Computer surveillance, my fine furry friend. We need a way to defeat their computer systems. / / The Sea Dog: Arrr! How be we doin' that? / / Aqualich: [[gesturing over his shoulder to a six-foot tall anthropomorphic cockroach, entering the room wearing a cape]] Meet The Bug. http://irregularwebcomic.net/620.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #621 | Alvissa: [[alone, on her trip to get a new bow]] I'm sure the others will have safely retrieved those merchant schedules by the time I return with my new bow. / / GM: Bad roleplaying. I'm docking character points. / / Alvissa: What for?! / / GM: You're the only one who doesn't have Insane Overconfidence. http://irregularwebcomic.net/621.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #622 | Sallah: [[popping up out of the hole Monty has dug in the prison cell floor]] Monty! Professor Jones! Finally I've found you! / Monty: Sallah! / / Sallah: Come on, let's go! You've dug this tunnel, what are we waiting for? / / Monty: Dad won't leave without something. Two guesses as to what. / / Sallah: Well if it had been one guess, his hip flask. But two? A woman?! http://irregularwebcomic.net/622.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #623 | [[scene: NASA Mars Rover mission control room]] / NASA Guy 1: It's amazing. We planned these Mars rovers to last 90 days, and they're both operating well at over 250 days! / / NASA Guy 2: Yep, and especially after so many previous Mars probes have crashed, or vanished, or stopped working for no apparent reason. / / NASA Guy 2: It looks like someone up there is finally on our side. / / [[scene change: Surface of Mars. Two Martians stand near a Mars Rover.]] / Martian 1: C'mon, you said you'd have this annoying thing switched off 6 months ago! / Martian 2: [[wielding a spanner ineffectually]] I'm trying!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/623.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #624 | Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: This was a brilliant idea, sir! I don't know why other governments haven't thought of it before. / / Nigerian Finance Minister: Yes, and it's raised lots of revenue for us. See if you can get some more takers for other government departments. / / [sound]: Ring! Ring! / Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: Excuse me, Minister. / / Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: Hello, this is the Microsoft Nigerian Treasury Department. How can I help you? http://irregularwebcomic.net/624.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #625 | [[scene: Hitler's brain's chamber]] / Hitler's Brain: Before you leave for Santorini, we will check your story. / / Hitler's Brain: Erwin, go check to see that Herr Doktor and Professor Jones are not escaping. / Erwin: Jawohl, mein Fuhrer! / / [caption]: A few minutes later... / Hitler's Brain: So, is die cell empty, or are die two of them in there? / / Erwin: Nein, mein Fuhrer! There are three of them in there, and they're arguing! http://irregularwebcomic.net/625.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #626 | Mordekai: [[still hanging out in the tavern]] Okay, so why aren't we now fighting and wrecking the place? / Lambert: I think the GM is in a plot corner. / / GM: How much has each of you had to drink? / / Lambert: Several ales. / Draak: Draak drink stout! / Mordekai: Lots of spiced mead. / Kyros: Maybe some cider, why? / / GM: [[grinning evilly]] You all wake up in the morning with splitting headaches and no memory of the night before... http://irregularwebcomic.net/626.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #627 | [[scene: Outdoors. Steve is looking at an open grimoire on a pedastel.]] / Terry: Steve, what are you doing? / Steve: Summoning Cthulhu. / / Terry: What??! Why? / Steve: Someone asked me to. / / Terry: Steve, you need to think about these things. You can't just do whatever anyone asks of you. / / Steve: Crikey! I'm just tryin' to be helpful. 'e sounded so desperate... http://irregularwebcomic.net/627.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #628 | Monty: We have no choice now! Erwin will report that Sallah is in the cell and they'll figure out we can escape! / / Prof. Jones: Ah, but if they expect us to escape, we can outfox them by not escaping! / / Monty: And how, exactly, does that help us, dad? / / Prof. Jones: Well the food here's quite good... German cooking, you know. http://irregularwebcomic.net/628.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #629 | [[scene: Inside Jabba's palace on Tatooine]] / Jabba: Cha too ma laya conky, ya neema loka nyan. / [caption]: Soon you will learn to appreciate me. / Leia: Eeuurgh! / / Jabba: Oloota teesa shag cheeka kosuta sesoona du nobata foonta. / [caption]: Although this slave girl costume looks a bit silly. / / Jabba: Noleeya verya, boska je tuwana hoohah ovv ateema... / [caption]: In fact, let's just rip it off right now... / / [sound]: Riiip! / Jabba: U kulle rah doe kankee kung! / [caption]: [[over the top of an entirely black panel]] This panel censored to prevent millions of nerd boys overloading my web server when Googling for "nude Lego Leia". http://irregularwebcomic.net/629.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #630 | Marlowe: [[to his staff in the meeting room]] It's mission-critical that we functionalise our strategic market deliverable within a 5-week benchmark timeframe metric. / / Mercutio: But the software we need to do the work won't arrive for another month! / / Ophelia: Everyone knows half the work on any project gets done in the week before the deadline anyway. / / Shakespeare: Yes. And the other half gets done the week after... http://irregularwebcomic.net/630.html |
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