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| Irregular Webcomic! #781 | Haken: [[again walking, at the head of the group]] How are we going to get out of this verdammte labyrinth, Erwin? / / Erwin: A mathematics professor at Darmstadt once told me a foolproof way to navigate out of a maze, Herr Kolonel. / / Erwin: All you have to do is always keep your left hand on a wall as you walk. / / [[Haken holds up the hook that replaces his left hand]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/781.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #782 | Man in Black: You're not Martians. There's no such thing as Martians. / / Martian 1: Look man. Just help us find our saucer and we'll be out of here. / / Martian 1: Then you can go around intimidating anyone you like into denying that we were ever here. / / Man in Black: Why would I need to do that? You're not here. / Martian 2: Gotta admire his consistency. http://irregularwebcomic.net/782.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #783 | Shakespeare: Actually, while you're here Mercutio, can you look at my Word install? Clippy seems to have vanished. / / Mercutio: Sure. What's the problem? / Shakespeare: Clippy isn't working. / / Mercutio: But what's actually wrong with your copy of Word? / Shakespeare: There's no Clippy! / / Mercutio: I don't understand. Are you having a problem with Word or not? http://irregularwebcomic.net/783.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #784 | Minnesota Jones: [[now in the lead, with Dr Jones]] If my calculations are correct, the exit should be just around this corner. / / Monty: Oh come on, Grandad. What do you know about hopelessly devious labyrinthine traps? / / Monty: Arcane and cunningly engineered twisted passages through which attempted navigation is enough to drive men insane?! / / Monnesota Jones: [[turning a corner to reveal the exit]] In my youth I used to design income tax forms for the government. http://irregularwebcomic.net/784.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #785 | Steve: [[back inside his house]] Jane Goodall?! Crikey! What'd I ever do to make her want me dead? / / Terry: [[checking computer]] Actually... there's a list on her web site. / / Terry: And the World Wildlife Fund site seems to have one too... / / Terry: Hmmm... and the United Nations... / Steve: The Secretary General got antivenin in time! http://irregularwebcomic.net/785.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #786 | [caption]: Imperial Rome [[A wide angle panorama of nothing but a random pile of bricks]] / / Me: Oh give me a break - it wasn't built in a day! http://irregularwebcomic.net/786.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #787 | [[scene: an open field on Santorini, with Minoan bull sculptures in the background]] / Haken: So, we have die orichalcum and are out of die labyrinth. Say your prayers, Joneses. / / Haken: Erwin, shoot them! Herr Doktor Jones first! / Erwin: Jawohl, Herr Kolonel! / / Ginny [whispering]: I'll create a diversion. You grab the orichalcum and run. / Monty: Diversion...? / / [[Dr Smith kisses Erwin]] / [sound]: Smak! http://irregularwebcomic.net/787.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #788 | Alvissa: Okay, we're all geared up and ready to begin the quest. / / Alvissa: We head off west towards the Orcrift Mountains. / / Alvissa: Now what happens? / / GM: [[stunned]] I'm at a loss... http://irregularwebcomic.net/788.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #789 | Iki Piki: [[walking through cyberspace]] So in the hour we've been spent here, a month or more has passed in realspace? / / Spanners: Yep. The neural interfaces keep our bodies in suspended animation. / / Iki Piki: Who came up with this technology?! / / Spanners: Game developers. By the time a kid finishes Halo 17, his parents are dead of old age and can't nag him to do his homework instead. http://irregularwebcomic.net/789.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #790 | Prof. Jones: [[running with the suitcase of orichalcum]] I can't believe it! We managed to get away from the Nazis and the Russians, with the orichalcum! / / Minnesota Jones: Quick, son, open the bag and let's have a good look at it. / / Prof. Jones: [[opening bag to reveal grey rocks]] It's nothing but worthless rocks! Dr Smith must have switched it when we weren't looking! / / Minnesota Jones: Devious! / Monty: [[to self]] She kissed him... http://irregularwebcomic.net/790.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #791 | Lambert: Orcs captured my uncle Bilbert once. These particular ones had an obsession with psychological torture. / / Lambert: They wanted Bilbert to tell them about his village's defences. They starved him, deprived him of sleep, kept him isolated. / / Lambert: They realised he'd never talk, but they enjoyed torture so much they kept inflicting it on him. But he never spoke. / / Alvissa: You mean...? / Lambert: No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't break the hobbit. http://irregularwebcomic.net/791.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #792 | [[scene: the infinite plane of Death]] / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Hello... Choking. / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Hello... Fireballs. / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Been busy lately, with all your important "reassignments"? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Why yes, actually. So, anyone choked on a giant frog lately? Hmmm? / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Damn you. http://irregularwebcomic.net/792.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #793 | Minnesota Jones: [[walking purposefully across Santorini]] If Dr Smith still has the orichalcum, she'll be ditching the Nazis and taking it to Moscow. / / Prof. Jones: Can't we follow Haken back to Berlin instead? / / Minnesota Jones: But Moscow will have the orichalcum! / / Prof. Jones: But Berlin has beer halls! / Monty: [[to self]] She kissed him... http://irregularwebcomic.net/793.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #794 | Mercutio: Right, I've reinstalled Word for you. Give it a test. / Shakespeare: Okay. / / Shakespeare [typing]: Arwen rode hard and fast, but the wraiths were riding harder and faster! They would catch her by the river! / / Clippy the Microsoft Office Assistant [on screen]: It looks like you're trying to write a boilerplate Tolkien ripoff. I have document templates that can help. / / Mercutio: Well that explains pretty much the entire fantasy section at the local MegaBooks... http://irregularwebcomic.net/794.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #795 | Emperor: Lord Vader... / / Vader: [[on surgical table after being rebuilt from the burnt Anakin Skywalker]] Yes, master. / / Emperor: Rise... / / Vader: Can't I snooze for 10 minutes? http://irregularwebcomic.net/795.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #796 | Head Death: [[at his desk]] Where's Death by Horrible Pun? / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: He called in sick today. / / Head Death: It better be serious. / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: He said he was "deathly ill." / / [[silent beat]] / / Head Death: He would say that. http://irregularwebcomic.net/796.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #797 | [[scene: the dock at Santorini harbour]] / Prof. Jones: [[handing equipment to Monty, who is loading the ship]] You know Junior, I've realised it's vitally important we find Dr Smith. / / Monty: Well I'm glad to see you've come to your senses at last. / / Monty: Are you more concerned about recovering the orichalcum or having her arrested as a Russian spy? / / Prof. Jones: I want to know if she'll co-author a paper on the discovery of Atlantis with us! http://irregularwebcomic.net/797.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #798 | Spanners: [[reaching a virtual computer terminal in cyberspace]] Ah, this is where we upgrade the ship's operating system. [[starts typing at it]] / / Serron: How exactly does this upgrade enhance the ship's capabilities? Boost the hyperdrive efficiency? Strengthen shields? / / Iki Piki: Or maybe adjust life support for optimal conditions? Add new disease treatments to the sick bay database? Improve the weapons? / / Spanners: It allows the main viewscreen to open the latest version PDF files. http://irregularwebcomic.net/798.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #799 | Steve: We'll 'ave to go to Africa to talk to Jane Goodall. / / Terry: But Steve, you travelling there will violate three UN conventions! / / Steve: Crikey Terry, everyone knows you can violate those at the drop of an 'at. / / Steve: They're like the Romulan Neutral Zone! http://irregularwebcomic.net/799.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #800 | GM: [[incredulous]] So you're going? / / GM: [[more incredulous]] You're really leaving the village? / / GM: [[even more incredulous]] You're actually starting the quest? / / Mordekai: Can we get a move on? You're always slowing us down. http://irregularwebcomic.net/800.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #801 | [[scene: the infinite featureless plane of Death]] / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Did you hear about Wrestled To Death By Steve? / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: No, what happened? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: He was wrestled to death by Steve. / / [[silent beat]] / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: It was inevitable, really. http://irregularwebcomic.net/801.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #802 | [[scene: on board the ship, crossing the Aegean bound for Athens from Santorini]] / Monty: At least we know we're ahead of Dr Smith and the Nazis. / / Monty: We'll contact the authorities in Athens and be waiting to arrest them when they dock. / / Prof. Jones: Good thinking, Junior! / / Minnesota Jones: [[looking up into the sky at a zeppelin overtaking them]] Uh... boys... http://irregularwebcomic.net/802.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #803 | [[scene: Me at the computer]] / / [[scene: Me at the computer, now with noticeable random pixel noise in the image]] / / [[scene: Me, starting to look annoyed, at the computer, with more noise in the image]] / / Me: [[in image with a huge amount of random noise]] I wish the neighbours would stop making so much noise! http://irregularwebcomic.net/803.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #804 | Shakespeare [typing]: "I see you've met my catgirl forest guardians," said Galadriel, regally. One of them swished her tail casually down Frodo's arm. / / Shakespeare: Zounds! This isn't really working. How can I fix this mess? / / Shakespeare: Aha! Got it! / / Shakespeare [typing]: Suddenly, more of them, previously unseen, melted out of the woods. "Now," added the elf-queen, "meet my catgirl ninjas!" http://irregularwebcomic.net/804.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #805 | [[scene: Ancient Rome. A stately vista of elegant columns and civic buildings.]] / Julius: Ave, Marcus. / Marcus: Ave, Julius. What news? / / Julius: I've invented a new business model based on sending messages using existing Roman road bridge and water transport infrastructure. / / Marcus: That sounds superb, by Jove! / / Julius: Yes, I call such businesses "via-duct-coms". http://irregularwebcomic.net/805.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #806 | Monty: [[watching the zeppelin fly right past their ship]] Oh great. They have a zeppelin. They'll be miles ahead of us by the time we reach Athens! / / Minnesota Jones: Yes, it was parked right behind the palace on Santorini. / / Monty: You saw it there?! Why didn't you tell us?! / / Minnesota Jones: You never asked! http://irregularwebcomic.net/806.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #807 | Kyros: Oh... I just remembered. I need some more sulphur and bat guano for spellcasting. / / GM: Uh oh... here we go... / / Lambert: Want to go back to the village and get some? / Kyros: Nah, I'll pick it up later. / / GM: [[astounded boggle]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/807.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #808 | Spanners: Okay, OS upgrade done. We can exit cyberspace now. / / Serron: Paris' body will be decaying in realspace by now, right? Cyberspace is quite nice. I vote we just stay here. / / Iki Piki: You need to get a grip on reality! We can't just lose ourselves in an online world and ignore our responsibilities! / / Serron: Hey, it's a venerable tradition dating back to the 20th century! http://irregularwebcomic.net/808.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #809 | [[scene: an airport arrivals customs terminal in Africa]] / Customs Officer: Welcome to Africa. Anything to declare? / / Steve: [[wrangling a live snake that has suddenly escaped from his bags]] Crikey! Get back in the luggage! / / Terry: Several things about my husband, but I think I'd best keep them to myself. http://irregularwebcomic.net/809.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #810 | Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Actually, in a way that's what I wanted to talk to you about. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: We deserve disability insurance. Annual leave. And a salary! / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: This sounds a bit radical. / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Have you been talking with Lenin's departed spirit again? http://irregularwebcomic.net/810.html |
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