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| Irregular Webcomic! #811 | [caption]: Athens. Again. / / Port Worker: [[standing on the dock as the Joneses ship pulls in]] Is one of you Dr Monty Jones? / Monty: Yes? / / Port Worker: A Dr Ginny Smith was here. She left a note for you. [[hands over note]] / / Monty: Is there no escaping this woman?! / Prof. Jones: What, nothing for me? http://irregularwebcomic.net/811.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #812 | Ron: [[with a wolf's head]] Hermione! Help! / Hermione: Ron? Is that you? / / Ron: Yeah. Malfoy put a "Beauty and the Beast" curse on me. If a girl doesn't kiss me by midnight, I stay this way forever! / / Ron: So... help me! / / Hermione: [[walking off]] I'll get you some dog biscuits and flea powder... http://irregularwebcomic.net/812.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #813 | Shakespeare [typing]: "Smeagol has found some tasty fishes. Oh yes, he has. / / Shakespeare [typing]: "Smeagol likes to eats them... raw and wrrrriggling!" / / Shakespeare [typing]: "Eurgh!" exclaimed Sam, disgustedly. "What a nasty 'abit! / / Shakespeare [typing]: "Mark my words, Mr Frodo sir, 'e's up to no good. Always talkin' in the third person like that!" http://irregularwebcomic.net/813.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #814 | [[scene: cyberspace]] / Spanners: All right, I'm deactivating the cyberspace link. Prepare for the return to reality. / Iki Piki: Holding breath! / / [[scene change: back to reality! The bridge of the ship]] / Paris: Hi guys. What took you so long? / Serron: Paris! You're alive! / / Paris: Yeah, I saw Iki was about to laser sword me and pulled out my neural interface just in time. / / Spanners, Serron, Iki Piki: GM cop-out! http://irregularwebcomic.net/814.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #815 | Alvissa: [[pointing at a small cave]] Look, there's a small opening in that hill. We might find you a new sword in there, Lambert. / / Lambert: But we don't want to get sidetracked off our quest. / / Alvissa: These barrows are usually just a single small burial chamber. We'll be in and out in no time. / / GM: [[grinning evilly and holding up a copy of The World's Largest Dungeon]] Heh heh heh... http://irregularwebcomic.net/815.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #816 | [[scene: the pirate ship, at sea somewhere in the Caribbean]] / Dirque: Arrr Wendy! Where be the cap'n? / / Wendy: He be holed up in yon cap'n's cabin, Dirque! / / Wendy: He be sayin' he have some serious piratin' business to be attendin' to! Arrr! / / [[scene change: Cap'n Long Tom's cabin]] / Long Tom: [[sitting at a computer]] Arrr, I be needin' more bandwidth an' disk space for these scurvy music downloads! http://irregularwebcomic.net/816.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #817 | Minnesota Jones: [[walking along the streets of Athens]] So what's the note say, boy? Don't keep us in suspense! / / Monty [reading]: "I've ditched Haken and Erwin. Meet me at the Parthenon at midnight. Ginny." / / Prof. Jones: We're coming too. / Monty: It'll be dangerous, Dad. / / Prof. Jones: I'm not leaving you two alone together in a romantic spot like that! http://irregularwebcomic.net/817.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #818 | [[scene: infinite featureless plane of Death]] / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: We provide an essential service, for no compensation! / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: The Head Death pushes us around like lackeys! [[another Death, holding a pitchfork, wanders up]] / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: [[to new Death]] Ah, another worker. What's your name, comrade? / / Death of Inciting A Worker's Rebellion In An Organisation With Supernatural Power Over Life And Death: Death of Inciting A Worker's Rebellion In An Organisation With Supernatural Power Over Life And Death. http://irregularwebcomic.net/818.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #819 | [[scene: Jane Goodall's house in Africa]] / [sound]: Knock! Knock! / / Jane Goodall: [[opening door]] Steve! What are you doing here? Get back, I have a restraining order! / / Steve: Crikey! I just want to talk... / Terry: Hi Jane... / / Jane Goodall: And I have dobermans! http://irregularwebcomic.net/819.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #820 | Spanners: But you couldn't have pulled your neural interface out! In cyberspace you have no control over your realspace body! / / Iki Piki: There's no way you could have reacted fast enough! / Serron: And if you unplug mid-program, you'd die anyway! / / GM: [[gleefully]] Well done! It's not Paris. It's a slavering xenomorph, and now that you've discovered its secret it changes shape and attacks! / / Spanners: Hmmm. That'll teach us to solve in-game puzzles. http://irregularwebcomic.net/820.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #821 | Monty: The Parthenon? Romantic?! It's the temple of Athena Parthenos, the Virgin! It's 2,400 years old! / / Monty: It'd be desecration! / / Prof. Jones: You mean to tell me you've never had a romantic tryst in a sacred archaeological site? You should try it! / / Monty: I don't want to hear this!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/821.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #822 | Alvissa: [[wary of the cave entrance]] Actually, I'm getting a bad vibe about this place. Maybe we shouldn't go in after all. / / Lambert: Is it your secret elven senses? A hint of evil lying over the barrow? An aura of dark enchantment you can detect? / / GM: [[grins silently]] / / Alvissa: The GM is grinning. That's never a good sign. / Draak: She right. / Kyros: Indeed. / Mordekai: Run! http://irregularwebcomic.net/822.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #823 | Quarrel: [[walking off towards a bar]] Man, I don't want to talk to you. I'm going to the bar over there. Leave me alone. / / Stud: [[to himself as Quarrel leaves]] Hmmm... Should I tail him, or knock off early and grab a drink? / / Stud: I know! I'll get a drink in that bar and keep an eye on him at the same time! / / Stud: I love spying. Where else can you get plastered while on the job? http://irregularwebcomic.net/823.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #824 | [[scene: a home. A phone sits on a table]] / [sound]: Ring! Ring! / / Peter Jackson: Hello? / / Shakespeare: [[over the phone]] Hello, Peter Jackson? / Peter Jackson: Yes? / / [[scene change: Shakespeare's office]] / Shakespeare: Is there any chance you can put some catgirls in the Super Extended DVD Edition to match my novelisation? http://irregularwebcomic.net/824.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #825 | Head Death: [[at his desk]] Fate Worse Than Death. I didn't summon you. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: No, sir. I'm here to demand my old job back. With a salary. / / Head Death: Salary?! Where do you think I'm going to get money to pay salaries? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: There's always the other branch of the service... / Head Death: We don't talk to Taxes! http://irregularwebcomic.net/825.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #826 | Prof. Jones: Didn't I ever tell you the story of how you were conceived? / / Prof. Jones: Your mother and I were grad students working with Howard Carter when he excavated the tomb of Amenhotep II. / / Prof. Jones: After a hard day of digging... well, sarcophagi aren't as comfortable as they look, let me tell you. / / Monty: [[covering his ears with hsi hands]] Not listening, Dad! / Minnesota Jones: Tell us the details, son! http://irregularwebcomic.net/826.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #827 | Terry: It's all right, Jane. We just had an odd occurrence we want to clear up. / / Jane Goodall: Terry! / / Steve: [[accusingly, to Jane Goodall]] You tried to trick a croc into eatin' me alive! / / Jane Goodall: Hmmm. I didn't, but I wish I'd thought of it... http://irregularwebcomic.net/827.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #828 | Lambert: So how do we get to these Orcrift Mountains? / / Alvissa: We follow the mighty Elusian River upstream. / / [[silent beat]] / / Lambert: So how do we find this mighty Elusian River? http://irregularwebcomic.net/828.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #829 | GM: In the two months you were in cyberspace, the xenomorph laid eggs in Paris' body. The larvae will eat her from the inside. / / Spanners: Quick! We have to find her body and save it from such a ghastly fate! We can't let her be eaten! / / GM: And once they hatch, they'll attack and kill any living thing that gets near them. / / Serron: Bon appetit, then! [[an alien xenomorph appears silently behind Serron]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/829.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #830 | Ophelia: [[at Mercutio's desk]] Mercutio, can you use your sysadmin privileges to delete the Lord of the Rings files Will is working on? / / Mercutio: I can't do that! It's an invasion of an employee's privacy! It's highly unethical! / / Ophelia: We'll also have to hack his home computer to see if he has a copy saved there... / / Mercutio: Ooooh... a challenge. I'm in! http://irregularwebcomic.net/830.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #831 | Minnesota Jones: That reminds me of another story, from my tax enforcement days. / Prof. Jones: Oh no. / / Minnesota Jones: I was dispatched here to Athens to chase after a tourist who'd taken a job illegally and avoided paying any tax on it. / / Monty: Internal Revenue wanted a piece of his foreign income? / Prof. Jones: Don't encourage him, Junior! [[cowers in fear of what is to come...]] / / Minnesota Jones: Yep. He owed on his Grecian earnings. http://irregularwebcomic.net/831.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #832 | Steve: Crikey! So you deny tryin' to kill me?! / Jane Goodall: Yes! / / Terry: Jane... a private word... [[walks over so she can talk to Jane Goodall without Steve hearing]] / / Terry: We've been friends a long time, you can be honest with me. Did you do it? / / Jane Goodall: Are you calling me a liar? I'm Jane freakin' Goodall! http://irregularwebcomic.net/832.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #833 | Head Death: So what are you going to do? Go on strike? Ho ho ho ho... / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: Okay then. We're going on strike. Me and all the other Deaths. They're with me on this. / / [[silent beat]] / / Head Death: [[mildly]] That wasn't a suggestion, you know. http://irregularwebcomic.net/833.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #834 | Alvissa: If we trek a couple of miles northwest we should strike the banks of the Elusian River. / / Lambert: Miles? Will we make it back in time for dinner? / / Kyros: You've never been on a quest before, have you? http://irregularwebcomic.net/834.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #835 | [[scene: the ship's bridge. The alien xenomorph continues to lurk menacingly behind Serron. The crew ignore it]] / Spanners: We should save Paris' body. / Serron: What'd she ever do for us? / / Spanners: Got us out of that mess with the Fangoids, took that laser shot for you, risked herself to get us off that ice cliff on Neptar 7... / / Spanners: Flew us safely through that asteroid field, stayed behind to make sure we escaped the drug-runners of Gamma Prime... / / Serron: Yeah but there's a vital difference. We came out of those alive! http://irregularwebcomic.net/835.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #836 | [caption]: That night at the Parthenon... [[photo of the Parthenon at night]] / / Prof. Jones: Imagine what ancient gods and spirits inhabit places like this. / / Prof. Jones: The very air is heavy with their essence. / / Monty: [[pointing]] That's the smells from the souvlaki vendor over there, dad. / Prof. Jones: Oooh... souvlaki... http://irregularwebcomic.net/836.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #837 | [[scene: The Roman Forum. Marcus stands admiring the architecture. A mysterious woman walking by bumps into him.]] / [sound]: Bump! / / Marcus: Hey! Pickpocket! Julius, seize her! [[as the woman runs past Julius]] / / [[Julius ignores the woman and approaches Marcus]] / / Julius: I didn't know togas had pockets... / Marcus: Pedantor iocum necat... http://irregularwebcomic.net/837.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #838 | [[scene: Night, outside Will's house.]] / Mercutio: Okay, I've been watching Will's house for the past couple of hours. He's gone to sleep. Let's go. / / Ophelia: Um, Mercutio, one question? / Mercutio: Yes? / / Ophelia: Why don't we sneak into his home some time when he's gone out for the evening? / / Mercutio: He's a tech writer who hangs out on Harry Potter chat rooms! He has no life! http://irregularwebcomic.net/838.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #839 | [[scene: Inside the bar. James Stud is standing by the bar where a bartender mixes drinks.]] / Helix: [[walking up to Stud]] James Shaken? I'm Helix Leiter, CIA. / / Stud: Pleased to meet you. Vodka martini, bartender. That's Stud, not Shaken, by the way. / / Bartender: And for you, sir? / Helix: Make mine a double. / / Stud: A double, Helix? / Helix: Drinking is in my genes. http://irregularwebcomic.net/839.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #840 | [[scene: The Parthenon at night. Four burly men approach the Joneses.]] / Security Guard: Oy! Get away from there before we pickle you with herring! / Monty: Who are you? / / Security Guard: Security. I'm Olaf, this is Gunnar, Erik, and Sigurd. / / Monty: The Greeks hired Scandinavians to guard the Parthenon? / / Security Guard: Of course. We're the Four Norsemen of the Acropolis. http://irregularwebcomic.net/840.html |
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