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Irregular Webcomic! #1171 Spanners: [[walking along a starport corridor]] Let's hit the starport markets. There's some new hardware I want to get for the ship. / Paris: Cyberspace safety interlocks? The nav beacon they told us to install at the last safety inspection? / Paris: Intruder detection alarms so we don't get surprised by rampaging xenomorphs again? / Spanners: No. A faster cyberspace card to support the latest games.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1171.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1172 Lambert: Two weeks of searching and still no sign of that secret dwarven passage through the Orcrift Mountains. / Alvissa: Our supplies are down to hardtack. / Lambert: Hardtack?! Bleah! What did you get that for? / Alvissa: What if we get stuck in a storm, and can't start a fire? We still need to eat. / Lambert: "Can't start a fire"?? We have Kyros! / Alvissa: Yes. I got double rations. / Kyros: You need some fire?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1172.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1173 Ishmael: Oh man... they've invaded my room. They're using my net connection! I have to tell someone! Who do I know who can do something about aliens? / Ishmael: The Man in Black! Now... how to contact him? / Ishmael: [[looking through phone book]] "Man"... no. "Black"... no. "Aliens"... Hmmm. Citizenship and Immigration Services, well that's not right. / Ishmael: Where's a shadowy government agent when you...? / Man in Black: [[appearing suddenly behind him]] What did I tell you about aliens?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1173.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1174 [caption]: Shakesbeard the Pirate to the rescue! / Shakespeare: Arrr! Take that ye scurvy o'ergrown calamari! {cuts the giant squid tentacle off} / Loren: Oh Captain Shakesbeard! My hero! / Shakespeare: Call me Will. / Shakespeare: Tell me, lovely Loren, why be ye takin' passage on a pirate vessel? / Loren: For the romance! / Loren: {looking at the squid tentacle on the deck} And the all-you-can-eat seafood buffet...
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1174.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1175 Haken: What shall I do with die Amerikaner archaeologists, mein Führer? / Hitler's Brain: Bah! They are no better than common criminals! Take them down to die dungeons! / Haken: Jawohl! Downstairs, you filthy prisoners! / Prof. Jones: No need to say it so condescendingly.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1175.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1176 Charon: This is where I leave you. One word of advice. Cave canem. / [[Charon leaves in his boat]] / Marcus: That was two words. / Julius: Cave canem? "Beware of the dog"? / Julius: What do you suppose he meant by that? [[Cerberus, the giant three-headed guardian dog of Hades, looms behind Julius]]
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1176.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1177 Serron: Be careful. These markets are famous for merchants trying to make a quick motza. / Iki Piki: A motza, really? / Sales Guy: Hello friends. Look at these beautiful deuterium ox-hide starship seat covers! Only 299 credits! / Spanners: Deuterium ox-hide? What sort of animal does that come from? / Sales Guy: Heavy water buffalo.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1177.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1178 [[scene: The infinite featureless plain of Death. Insanely Overpowered Fireballs is escorting Quarrel to the afterlife.]] / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: FIREBALLS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: PROCESSING THIS FIREBALL VICTIM. / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: THERE'S TWO ROMANS WAITING AT THE GATES OF HADES FOR YOU. / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: ROMANS? THEY DON'T HAVE THE TECH... / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: HEAD DEATH WANTS YOU TO GET DOWN THERE! NOW! / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: ER... YES! THANKS, CHOKING. BUT WHAT ABOUT HIM? / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: I'LL LOOK AFTER HIM FOR YOU...
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1178.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1179 Alvissa: We're too low on supplied to make it over the Orcrift Mountains now. / Lambert: We could go back to Footcrag. / Alvissa: After incinerating the tavern and being run out of town by a pitchfork-wielding mob? / Mordekai: It could still be the best "welcome back" reception we've ever received. / Alvissa: Mmm... true...
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1179.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1180 [caption]: Bite the Bullet / Jamie: The myth is that biting a bullet dulls the pain of surgery. So Adam will bite on a bullet while I drill a hole in his skull. / Jamie: To calibrate, we'll get a reading on his pain sensations before we start. / Jamie: What do you feel, Adam? / Adam: Just a bit of trepanation.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1180.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1181 Haken: Into die cell... [[ushers the archaeologists into a prison cell]] / Prof. Jones: There's someone in there already... / Monty: Sallah! / Sallah: [[sitting up]] Monty! / Monty: The Nazis captured you too? / Sallah: No! I broke in to rescue you, but you weren't here yet. So I had a nap...
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1181.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1182 Ophelia: Will! / Shakespeare: Ophelia! / Ophelia: Daydreaming? / Shakespeare: Forsooth. / Shakespeare: Have you met Loren? Isn't she wonderful? / Ophelia: She works for a faceless government bureaucracy, Will. / Shakespeare: They say, best maids are moulded out of faults;/ And, for the most, become much more the better/ For being a little bad. / Ophelia: Oh good grief.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1182.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1183 Marcus: According to legend, music will soothe this savage beast. / Cerberus: [[threateningly]] Grrrr... / Julius: Oh, right. Make some music then. / Marcus: Are you calling me a lyre? / [[beat]] / Julius: That took pluck. / Marcus: String it along... / Julius: Don't harp on though. / Cerberus: [[fleeing the puns]] Yipe! Yipe! Yipe!
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Irregular Webcomic! #1184 Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: BEFORE WE GO ON, LET'S GET YOUR STORY STRAIGHT. WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU REMEMBER? / Quarrel: A dragon... / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: YOU DON'T RECALL THE GIANT FROG JUMPING DOWN YOUR THROAT? / Quarrel: No. I think there was an insanely overpowered fireball... / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: HALLUCINATION. CAUSED BY THE FROG TOXINS, NO DOUBT.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1184.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1185 GM: On the way back to Footcrag, you come across a dwarf fighting for his life against some orcs! / Lambert: A dwarf! We have to help him! He'll know about the secret dwarven passage! / Draak: You think? / Alvissa: No. The elves and dwarves share the Five-Thousand Year Grudge. To render assistance would be to betray my people. / Lambert: Curse your strict adherence to character... / Mordekai: I steal the dwarf's gold! / Kyros: I throw a fireball! / Draak: Draak fight!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1185.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1186 Sales Guy: [[holding a razor]] This razor is a new quantum leap ahead of any previously existing razors! / Spanners: Didn't they reach a plateau when they developed fractal razor technology?... / Spanners: Which allows an infinite regression of ever-sharper self-similar blades on a finite cartridge? / Sales Guy: This one follows that with a conventional blade - so it has infinity plus one blades!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1186.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1187 Dumbledore: Eternal glory! That is what awaits the student who wins the Triwizard Tournament. But to do this, that student must survive three tasks. / Dumbledore: Three extremely dangerous tasks. / Fred, George: Wicked! / Dumbledore: Squeeze the next three huge novels into reasonable length movies without upsetting fans of minor characters like Neville and Ginny.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1187.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1188 [caption]: A Nazi plummets from a zeppelin somewhere over Poland! [[A Nazi plummets from a zeppelin somewhere over Poland!]] / Jamie: [[pointing to a diagram showing the Nazi falling after something else]] The myth is that he can find a package that was thrown out first. / Jamie: [[indicating the Nazi in a deep hole in the ground]] Newton's laws say he can't catch it in flight, and impact will be at fatal velocity. / Hitler's Brain: Erwin was carrying a parachute. / Jamie: [[stunned]] He sabotaged the experiment?!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1188.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1189 Ishmael: The Martians are invading! / Man in Black: It's the planet Venus. / Man in Black: Did you know over 90% of alleged UFO sightings are actually caused by the eerie brightness of Venus? / Man in Black: If people just knew the night sky, the alien "phenomenon" would vanish. No doubt, what you saw was actually Venus. / Ishmael: They're in my room! Using my computer! / Man in Black: She's a tricky planet.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1189.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1190 Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: [[manifesting suddenly]] WELCOME TO HADES. / Marcus: Are you him? Er, he? Hades, I mean. The dark, merciless, unpitying god of the Underworld? / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: NO. PLEASE FOLLOW ME. THERE'S JUST SOME PAPYRUSWORK TO BE DONE. / Julius: It's worse. He's a bureaucrat.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1190.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1191 Lambert: I say we should rescue him! My uncle Bilbert the jewel thief saved a dwarf from some orcs once. / Lambert: The dwarf was most appreciative. Uncle Bilbert just waded right into the battle and swung his sword Sting at the orcs. / Lambert: It was one of his finest hours in a life of crime. They tried to smash his bones with their huge clubs, but despite taking several shattering blows he was fine. / Mordekai: Wow. How did he manage that? / Lambert: Bad hobbits are hard to break.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1191.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1192 Mercutio: So Loren, what's your last name? / Loren: Ipsum. / [[in the background Ophelia gets up and walks towards Will's desk]] / Mercutio: "Loren Ipsum"? Ha ha ha ha ha! / [[in the background, Ophelia looks at Will, who is still daydreaming]] / Mercutio: The US Government hired you with a pun like that as a name? I'd have expected they'd consider that too subversive! / Loren: Pun? / Mercutio: Ah yes... no sense of humour. That explains it.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1192.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1193 Spanners: Okay, I found us a new cargo. Some guy needs a pet shipped to Bune. / Paris: A pet? That won't fill the cargo hold or pay the bills! What is it? A dog? A cat? / Spanners: An Allosaurus. / Serron: Cooool! / Iki Piki: Well, this has "eventless trip" and "happy ending" written all over it.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1193.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1194 Monty: So you have a way out? / Sallah: Sorry, Monty. They blocked my escape tunnel. / Prof. Jones: [[checking behind a rock against the wall of the prison cell]] Wait, what's this, behind this rock? Surely not... / Prof. Jones: Yes! It is! This is fantastic! / Monty: The tunnel?! / Prof. Jones: [[triumphantly]] The mystery novel I didn't finish reading that time before last when we were in here!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1194.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1195 Head Death: CHOKING ON A GIANT FROG. I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU. / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: NEVERTHELESS. / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: TELL HIM HOW YOU DIED. / Quarrel: I choked on a giant frog, cap'n. Apparently... / Head Death: ASTOUNDING. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, OF COURSE? / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: PROMOTION! / Head Death: HARDLY. THE OFFICE BETTING POOL WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1195.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1196 Vader: When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master. / Obi-Wan: Only a master of evil. / Vader: Oh, may I remind you...? / [[in flashback, four mini-panels showing strip #1125]] / [[1 Obi-Wan: It's over Anakin! I have the high ground.]] / [[1 Anakin: You underestimate my power!]] / [[2 [sound]: Whooom! Sliiice! [[Anakin attempts to leap over Obi-Wan, who slices his arms and legs off with his lightsabre]]]] / [[3 Obi-Wan: And now you haven't a leg to stand on. [[Bob was there, too.]]]] / [[4 Anakin: You and your damned aphorisms!]] / [[4 Obi-Wan: Actually they were just cutting remarks.]] / Vader: Now who's the evil one? / Obi-Wan: Yes... I'd forgotten you were mostly 'armless.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1196.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1197 GM: While you're wasting time discussing options, the dwarf finishes off the orcs by himself. / Dwalin: Greetin's, yon bonnie travellers. My name be Dwalin. / Draak: Why we not get to take part in fight? / GM: Hey, I finally painted a dwarf miniature. Now you want orcs too?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1197.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1198 [[scene: The dull grey wastes of Hades. Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs leads Marcus and Julius across the landscape.]] / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: HOW DID YOU COME ACROSS AN INSANELY OVERPOWERED FIREBALL? ROMANS DON'T HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY. / Julius: Greek fire. / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: BUT THAT DOESN'T EXPLODE. IT JUST BURNS SLOWLY AND GIVES OFF FUMES THAT CAUSE HALLUCI... / [[Fireballs stops walking and stands stock still.]] / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: [[lifting his scythe angrily]] CURSE YOU, CHOKING!!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1198.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1199 Martian 1: How goes the plan? / Martian 2: Just another two minutes. / Martian 2: Okay, everything is in place. Twenty seconds left... Nothing can stop us now. / Martian 2: Five... four... three... two... Nooooooooooooo!! / Martian 2: Someone outbid us on the Doomsday Machine! / Martian 1: I knew we shouldn't have used eBay.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1199.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1200 Paris: An Allosaurus?! Are you out of your mind?! / Paris: How are we going to handle one of those? Let alone fit it into the cargo hold? / Spanners: The owner's paying 20,000 credits. / Serron: Does he have any more of them to transport?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1200.html
 

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