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| Irregular Webcomic! #1471 | [[scene: Terry is hiking across the snowy mountainous landscape of Nepal.]] / Terry: It seems unreal. / Terry: Here I am going to a mysterious location in Nepal to meet the yeti that Jane Goodall says are there, to enlist their help to save Steve. / Terry: [[crossing a precarious rope bridge]] Who has fallen into the gibbering clutches of Great Cthulhu, who has secretly been running Nepal for some hideous reason unknown to mortals. / Terry: Actually that's a lot more coherent than most of the things we've done... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1471.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1472 | [[scene: a really happening party somewhere in Imperial Rome]] / Marcus: Good party, Julius, but we're running out of wine already. / Julius: Hmmm. As much as I hate do do it, we'll have to water it down. / Marcus: Do we have to? It seems like such a shame. / Julius: I'm afraid so. / Julius: [[lifting the flask of wine]] Ave, vino! We who are about to dilute you, sigh! / Marcus: http://irregularwebcomic.net/1472.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1473 | [[scene: The vast, dim, Hall of Dworin.]] / 1 Draak: Draak smell bad smell... // Dwalin: Thut'll be thu latrines. [[translation: That'll be the latrines.]] / Draak: No. Real bad smell. Like orc. / Dwalin: Aye, thu latrines. [[translation: Yes, the latrines.]] / Draak: Lot and lot and lot of orc... / Dwalin: Thu latrines, I tell ye! [[translation: The latrines, I tell you!]] / [[A high shot shows a suspicious and very large group of ill-defined figures closing in on our heroes, brandishing flaming torches to dispel a small fraction of the clinging darkness in the enormous hall. The party seem to be unaware of them.]] / Lambert: Frankly, from the sound of those latrines, I'd rather face orcs... / Sting: [[singing]] Young teacher, the subject, of schoolgirl fantasy... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1473.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1474 | Ophelia: Will, you're risking your job here. If we don't make this deadline, Mr Marlowe will want to know why. / Mercutio: [[walking up to see what's going on]] What's up? / Ophelia: Will has been wasting time writing Harry Potter fan-fic instead of working on that documentation! / Mercutio: Oooh, can I read it? / Ophelia: You're not helping! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1474.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1475 | [[scene: Rome, looking down a long avenue towards St Peter's Square and the Vatican City.]] / Ginny: The Vatican Museum is guarded round the clock by the Swiss Guard. The perimeter is patrolled by Mussolini's troops armed with Beretta '38s. / Ginny: The Library is in an inner chamber, sealed with a lock designed by Leonardo da Vinci himself. And then there's the Pope's rottweilers... / Monty: Right, so what's your plan to get in? / Ginny: Can you think of any reason why I would have rescued you lot if I had a way to get in there safely? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1475.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1476 | Me: Hmmm. Having appeared in a comic with Kevin Bacon, I just need to get my other good friend Paul Erdős in a strip to attain an Erdős-Bacon number of 2! / Me: The only difficulty is that that would require me to think up a joke involving combinatoric theory. / [[beat]] / Me: Well, I'm sure I can arrange something. / [small caption]: This comic co-authored by David Morgan-Mar and Paul Erdős http://irregularwebcomic.net/1476.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1477 | fforbes-Davīs: So you're a ghost? / Paris: Don't ask. / [[fforbes-Davīs leans forward]] / Paris: And stop waving your hand through me! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1477.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1478 | Cthulhu: [[rants at Steve in some arcane, incomprehensible, insanity-inducing tongue]] / Cthulhu: [[rants some more]] / Cthulhu: [[rants more]] / Cthulhu: Bwah hah ha ha ha ha ha haaahhh!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1478.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1479 | Alvissa: Orcs! Thousands of them! [[thousands of orcs close in on the party, swarming from all directions in the vast Hall of Dworin, brandishing flaming torches and bloody weapons]] / Alvissa: How do we get out of here, Dwalin?! / Dwalin: Thu nirrest exit is a mile and a quarter yonder! [[translation: The nearest exit is a mile and a quarter that way!]] / Mordekai: This really is a big room. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1479.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1480 | [[scene: The crew, minus Paris, have returned to the bridge of the Legacy, in port at Bune.]] / Serron: While we're in port, can we upgrade the ship? / Iki Piki: Yeah, we need weapons! / Spanners: Uh. That's kind of illegal. / Iki Piki: Meaning what, exactly? / GM: You're a civilian vessel. It'd be like driving through the city in a car with machine guns and rocket launchers mounted. / Serron: Yeah!? Awesome! / Iki Piki: We look for a black market supplier! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1480.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1481 | [[scene: Ophelia is at Shakespeare's desk, while Mercutio looks on]] / Ophelia: Think of it another way, Will. You have something you want to do, like track Malfoy, and something you need to do, like Hogwarts homework. / Ophelia: Now think. Catering to your own selfish desire, or fulfilling your greater responsibility? What would Harry Potter do? / Shakespeare: Get Hermione to do his homework for him! You're a lifesaver, Ophelia! I'll send you the project documentation files! / Ophelia: [[walking back to desk]] / Mercutio: [[walking with her]] Petard. Hoist. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1481.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1482 | [[scene: Port Royal, Jamiaca]] / Governor: Captain Ponsonby, lead the fleet after the pirates! We must have that map back! / Ponsonby: Map back? Isn't it more important to get the map front? / [[beat]] / Governor: And you wonder why you got this dead-end post at the far end of the Caribbean... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1482.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1483 | [[scene: outside the Vatican]] / Minnesota Jones: I suggest we fast talk our way in. / Monty: Past armed guards? Fascist armed guards? With machine guns? What if they catch on? / Minnesota Jones: We blame you. / Prof. Jones: That works for me. / Ginny: Let's go. [[turns to walk towards the Vatican]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/1483.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1484 | Dr No: [[to Stud]] Unfortunately I overestimated you. You are just a stupid police man... / [[guards loom menacingly]] / Dr No: ...whose luck has run out. / Stud: Actually, I failed out of the National Police Training Centre. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1484.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1485 | Terry: [[pausing in her trek across Nepal to check her GPS unit]] Well. Here's the GPS coordinates Jane gave me. / Terry: [[walking on]] Then she said to walk another kilometre north. Why didn't she just give me the coordinates for that point? / Terry: [[looking at the GPS unit as she walks]] Huh. That's weird. It's giving odd readings, like I'm on the other side of the mountain range. / Terry: I wonder what could be causing that? [[A yeti watches Terry from behind a rock.]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/1485.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1486 | GM: You can't find a black market weapons dealer. They don't exactly have websites, you know. / Iki Piki: I use my Streetwise skill. / Spanners: But...! / Iki Piki: While Spanners isn't looking. / GM: Uh... You'd need to visit the seedy district of town. You're likely to get into a fight, or mugged, or... kidnapped for your organs. / Iki Piki: Cool! / Serron: So what are we waiting for? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1486.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1487 | Kyros: Surely you dwarves, being clever subterranean engineers, would have designed with contingencies in mind. / Kyros: How would you evacuate this hall in case of a large and dangerous fire, for example? / Dwalin: It's carven oot o' solid rock! We dinnae give nae thocht to fires! [[translation: It's carved out of solid rock! We didn't give any thought to fires!]] / Kyros: Well, that's me out of ideas. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1487.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1488 | [[scene: The Axis of Antagonsts watches on a closed circuit TV as the League of Good Guys enter Wilson's Shoe Repair to have a look around.]] / Aqualich: They're going in, the fools. Spring the backup trap! / Sea Dog: We be havin' a backup trap? / The Bug: Yes... / Aqualich: What kind of stupid supervillains wouldn't have a backup trap?! / The Bug: ... We just don't have a primary trap. [[springs the backup trap by pulling a lever, which illuminates a sign indicating "Backup Trap Activated"]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/1488.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1489 | Shakespeare: [[at the office water cooler]] Why does she do it, Mercutio? Why does she nag me like that? / Mercutio: Because she likes you. / [[Mercutio drinks, while Will looks stunned]] / Shakespeare: Don't be stupid. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1489.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1490 | Minnesota Jones: [[walking down the street towards the Vatican]] Once past the guards, we'll have to deal with the lock on the library door. / Minnesota Jones: If I know Leonardo, there'll be a devious puzzle involved, which will need to be solved to get the combination. / Ginny: "Leonardo"? Don't tell us you knew him, as well as Schliemann? / Monty: Some sort of Da Vinci code? / Prof. Jones: Do we have time for a last supper before we go in? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1490.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1491 | Paris: How did you become a genetic engineer? / fforbes-Davīs: I did a Ph.D. and post-doc studying gene sequences of the arugula salad herb species Diplotaxis and Eruca, then switched to humans. / Paris: That long on just a couple of plant species? / fforbes-Davīs: Well, it is rocket science. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1491.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1492 | Yeti: [[leaping out from behind a rock]] Raaarrggh! / Terry: A yeti! / Yeti: Raaarrggh! / Terry: Aaaagh! / Yeti: Raaarrggh! / Terry: Er... Dame Jane Goodall sent me! / Yeti: Oh, I say. Why didn't you say so? Jolly good show. Care for a spot of tea, wot? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1492.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1493 | Mordekai: There's only one thing that can save us from being massacred by all these orcs. / Lambert: What's that? / Mordekai: If we somehow get slaughtered by something even more dangerous first. / GM: [[looking over a copy of GURPS Balrogs]] Funny you should mention that. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1493.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1494 | [[scene: The port of Port Royal. Captain Ponsonby strides along the dock towards the gangplank of a proud British ship of the line.]] / Ponsonby: Cast off! Weigh anchor! Set sail! We're off in pursuit of Captain Long Tom Short and his band of ne'er-do-wells! / Ponsonby: [[climbing the gangplank]] Get a move on or I'll have the lot of you flogged! / Sailor 1: [[muttering]] "Join the navy," they said. "You can sail the seven seas," they said... / Sailor 2: Who said that? / Sailor 1: Some people from my village. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1494.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1495 | Ophelia: More documentation. What a drudge. Nothing interesting ever happens around here, Mercutio. / Mercutio: There's an ancient Chinese curse... / Ophelia: "Interesting times." Yeah, I know. / Mercutio: No. "May your traditional cuisine be unrecognisably corrupted and then presented in small, easy-to-carry boxes to foreigners." / Ophelia: What? / Mercutio: See, now that was interesting. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1495.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1496 | Paris: So, this Human G-gnome Project; how small can you make these variant humans? / fforbes-Davīs: We've got them down to a little under a metre at the moment. It's a convenient size for many reasons. / Paris: How so? / fforbes-Davīs: Lower life support requirements, for one. It also makes it much easier to dig tunnels for shelter under hills on colony worlds. / Paris: You mean... / fforbes-Davīs: Yes, they can live in alien hobbit-ats. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1496.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1497 | Alvissa: The orcs are running away! / Dwalin: Coom back, ye coowards! What are ye afraid of?! [[translation: Come back, you cowards! What are you afraid of?!]] / [[the adventurers stand silent, gaping at a new horror that has appeared from the looming darkness]] / Alvissa: Oh.. my... / [[giant picture showing a vicious, evil, flaming Balrog towering over the tiny figures of the adventuring party]] / Kyros: Balrogs don't have wings!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1497.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1498 | Minnesota Jones: [[to a Swiss Guardsman outside the Vatican]] Buongiorno! Dobbiamo parlare al Papa! Il mio nipote sta vedendo le visioni di San Pietro! / [subtitles]: Good day! We need to speak to the Pope! My grandson is seeing visions of St Peter! / Guard: Come sai il non č semplicemente pazzo nella testa? / [subtitles]: How do you know he's not simply crazy in the head? / Minnesota Jones: Oh... / Minnesota Jones: [[turning to Monty, Prof. Jones, and Dr Smith]] He's on to us. I don't think I can refute his argument there. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1498.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1499 | Terry: [[walking across upper Nepal with the yeti]] You speak English? / Yeti: Oh, I should say so. / Terry: Upper class, toffee-nosed, British English? / Yeti: A remnant of the Raj, I'm afraid. Old habits are jolly hard to shake, you know. / Terry: Hmmm. / Yeti: Which is all very well, but you try laying a croquet lawn on Himalayan topography. [[indicating the rugged mountain terrain around them]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/1499.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1500 | Martian 1: We need a new plan to take over Earth. / Martian 2: How about we activate our sleeper agent in the US government? / Martian 1: Excellent idea! Contact the agent at once! / [[scene change: An office in Washington D.C.]] / Loren: [[answering phone]] Hello, Loren Ipsum speaking. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1500.html |
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