You're browsing the archives of Irregular Webcomic!.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Irregular Webcomic! #151 | Hitler's Brain: ... next I want the Spear of Longinus, the Necronomicon, the Phaistos Disc, and the Antikythera Device. / / Hitler's Brain: After that, the Voynich Manuscript and some of that dust for the making of the zombies. Oh, and the crystal Skull again. / / Hitler's Brain: This time nothing will stop me! / Erwin: Jawohl, mein Fuhrer! / / Hitler's Brain: Oh, and also a goldfish. It's lonely in here sometimes. http://irregularwebcomic.net/151.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #152 | Hermione: Harry! The Order of the Phoenix spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler / Harry: But Hermione... / / Harry: ... Hagrid spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler Dumbledore spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler / / Hermione: spoiler spoiler Neville spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler / Harry: Oh no! / / Me: It's a great joke, but I didn't want to ruin the book for anyone who hasn't read it yet. http://irregularwebcomic.net/152.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #153 | Imperial Officer: In order to destroy Alderaan we need to generate 10^38 joules of energy with the superlaser. / / Vader: Is that a problem? / Imperial Officer: Focusing that much energy will require dumping 10^35http://irregularwebcomic.net/153.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #154 | Vader: I sense something... / / Vader: A presence I've not felt since... / / [sound]: Sniff sniff. / / Vader: Twenty years in the wilderness and Obi-Wan still hasn't washed his socks. http://irregularwebcomic.net/154.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #155 | Steve: Crikey! Isn't 'e a bewdy! Let's just check his teeth and see how old 'e is. [[jesturing to a crocodile attempting to bite him]] / / Terry: Steve, that's a Nile crocodile. They're not as easy to handle as our Aussie crocs. / Steve: [[sidling over]] Can't be that hard... / / Terry: [[throwing up her arms]] Oh no! Steve! / Steve: [[in the mouth of the crocodile]] No worries, Terry!... / / Steve: She's apples! [[as he gets chewed on]] / Terry: I hate to say this, Steve, but I think you're in de-Nile. http://irregularwebcomic.net/155.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #156 | Haken: So, I have you right where I want you! / Monty: What are you going to do without your Nazi goons? / / Haken: [[gesturing viciously with his hook-hand]] You forget. I have a hook! / / Monty: [[pulling out a pistol]] You forget I have a gun. / / Haken: Verdammte Scheisse! / Prof. Jones: Junior... That could be dangerous. It's not loaded, is it? http://irregularwebcomic.net/156.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #157 | Captain Spatula: [[pointing to a beared canine in an eyepatch]] There's a new supervillain robbing the bank! / Refractive Man: Who is this guy? / / GM: He's the Sea Dog! Mutated by falling into a harbour full of toxic waste! He talks in pirate slang! / / Sea Dog: [[charging in with hook and sabre at Dino Boy]] Arrr! Belay ye lubber! / Worm Master: [[gesturing at the villain]] You're kidding, right? http://irregularwebcomic.net/157.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #158 | Hermione: Hi Ron. Is that a wand in your pocket... / / Hermione: ... or are you just happy to see me? / / Ron: No, Hermione, it's my will. / / Ron: In case J. K. Rowling kills me off in the next book! http://irregularwebcomic.net/158.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #159 | Iki Piki: There's something on the scanner. / Spanners: Can you tell what it is? / / GM: It's some sort of weird spatial anomaly. / / Iki Piki: Oh man, not again. I hate those things. / Spanners: Nah, they're okay... / / Spanners: It's the temporal anomalies that get old really quickly. http://irregularwebcomic.net/159.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #160 | Imperial Officer: In order to destroy Alderaan we need to generate 10^38 joules of energy with the superlaser. / Motti: Yes? And? / / Imperial Officer: That's more than we can produce, even if we convert the entire mass of the Death Star to energy. / / Vader: The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. / / Imperial Officer: Tell that to Prof. Einstein, my lord. http://irregularwebcomic.net/160.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #161 | Mordekai: We approach the fabled city of Rivendeep. / / Kyros: It has a rough reputation. We must be wary. / Lambert: Draak will protect us from any ruffians! / / Alvissa: The taverns are full of drunkards spoiling for a fight! / Lambert: I'm sure Draak can best them. / / Draak: Yes. Draak good at drink beer! / Alvissa: Are you still sure this is a good idea, Lambert? http://irregularwebcomic.net/161.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #162 | Hitler's Brain: Erwin! / / Erwin: Jawohl, mein Fuhrer? / Hitler's Brain: How goes the invasion of Poland? / / Erwin: Die Luftwaffe und die Panzer divisions are meeting resistance, mein Fuhrer! Die Poles are fighting back! / Hitler's Brain: Wass?! We can't have that! / / Hitler's Brain: Invade France!!! / Erwin: Jawohl! http://irregularwebcomic.net/162.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #163 | [[Monty prepares to pull the trigger of his gun]] / / [[Haken's hook gleams with potent menace]] / / [[Aghast, Prof. Jones stares at the Mexican standoff]] / / [[the camera goes from a closeup of Haken...]] / / [[... to Prof. Jones...]] / / [[.. to Monty!]] / / Monty: [[gesturing with the gun]] All right, Haken, enough dramatics. Get your hands up! / Haken: [[outgunned]] Ach! http://irregularwebcomic.net/163.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #164 | [caption]: Untold fathoms below the Pacific, a monstrous palaeogean eye blinks in the tenebrous murk... / / [caption]: Great leathery wings of horrible rugosity move hideously... / / [caption]: Loathsome tentacles writhe insanely as this cyclopean entity expresses a ghastly alien motivation... / / Cthulu: Revenge against Steve... http://irregularwebcomic.net/164.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #165 | Vader: My Master, there is something wrong with the location chosen for the new Death Star. / Emperor: What is it? / / Vader: It's unusually conspicuous. The moon of a gas giant close enough to the primary star to support life will feel tidal forces sufficient to tide-lock it within a few million years. / / Vader: Then it will spiral into the gas giant and evolution won't have enough time needed to produce life forms such as redwood trees and Ewoks. / / Emperor: Hmmm. Nuke the moon of Endor into a radioactive wasteland. / Vader: I was hoping you'd say that. http://irregularwebcomic.net/165.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #166 | Steve: So, Cthulhu, back for more, eh? / Cthulhu: [[lurching forward]] Die, puny mortal! / / Steve: [[getting Cthulhu in a wing lock]] How'd'you like a piece of this? I'll throttle you with your own ichor! / / Terry: [[calling up]] Steve! Pacify him! Try offering him some candy! / / Steve: Candy is dandy, Terry, but ichor is quicker. http://irregularwebcomic.net/166.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #167 | [sound]: WHOOOT! [[The Hogwarts Express sounds its whistle in the station]] / / Harry: Two minutes until the Hogwarts Express leaves! We'd better get on board, Ron. / / Ron: Bah. Only stick-in-the-muds get on early, Harry! / / Hermione: [[on train]] Ron! Harry! There you are! Quick, get on board! / Ron: See what I mean? http://irregularwebcomic.net/167.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #168 | Terry: You managed to beat Cthulhu, Steve? / Steve: Too right, Terry. Ripped 'is 'ead clean off! [[dropping the head at her feet]] / / Steve: [[poking it]] Check this out. Crikey! What a bewdiful mass of tentacles. / Terry: Be careful, Steve! / / Terry: He is immortal, you know. / Steve: Ah, what's 'e gonna do? / / Steve: Get up with no head and rip me arms off? [[as the headless corpse of the cyclopean horror prepares to do just that]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/168.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #169 | Hermione: How was your summer with the Dursleys, Harry? / Harry: Dreadful, as usual. What did you do, Hermione? / / Hermione: My family went to the French Riviera. It was lovely. I spent the whole time in a bikini. / / Hermione: Of course to avoid sunburn I had to keep rubbing lotion all over my body... / / Harry: I think that's enough, Hermione. Ron looks a bit flushed by the idea of so much sunshine. / Ron: Uh... yeah. Sounds... uh... horrible. http://irregularwebcomic.net/169.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #170 | Haken: [[struggling in his bonds]] So, Herr Doktor Jones. Now what are you going to do with me? / / Monty: I'm just going to leave you tied up here while dad and I go find the Egyptian Book of the Dead. / / Haken: What?! No torturing? No being shot in the back? Not even any of the gloating? / / Monty: See, this is why I'm the good guy and you're the Nazi. http://irregularwebcomic.net/170.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #171 | Hermione: Ron! What are you doing on the platform? The Hogwarts Express is about to leave! / / Ron: [[on platform]] I've got to find Harry! We can't go to Hogwarts without him! / / [sound]: WHOOOT! KA-CHUNKA... / Hermione: [[as the train shudders into motion]] Ron! The train's leaving! You've missed it! / / Harry: [[appearing at the train window]] Ha ha, Ron! See you later! Now I'll have Hermione to myself for eight hours! http://irregularwebcomic.net/171.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #172 | Allosaurus: RAAARRRRHH! / / Kyros, Mordekai, Alvissa: Aiiieee! An allosaurus! / / Lambert: Draak will save us! / Draak: ? / / Draak: Draak not can save. This old date Draak not call back! http://irregularwebcomic.net/172.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #173 | Harry: Hey Hermione! Check this out! / / Hermione: Really, Harry, practising your Wingardium Leviosa charm is all well and good... / / Hermione: ... and the Weasley's flying car was bad enough... / / Hermione: [[from the window of the now-flying train]] ... but Dumbledore's going to go spare when he hears about this! http://irregularwebcomic.net/173.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #174 | Erwin: Kolonel Haken! / Haken: Erwin! Don't just stand there! Untie me! / / Erwin: [[unwrapping Haken with haste]] Jawohl! What happened, Herr Kolonel? / Haken: Ach, Herr Doktor Jones and his father... / / Erwin: Der Fuhrer vill not be happy about this. / Haken: Ja, ja, tell me about it. / / Haken: Ever since his brain was put into that pickling jar, he's been a sour Kraut. http://irregularwebcomic.net/174.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #175 | Iki Piki: So Paris, what sort of gun is that? / Paris: Double bolt-action personal emag railgun firing 32mm hypersonic smart slugs. / / Paris: Custom job. Cost me a year's income, but it's worth it. Any pirates try to board this ship, and this baby will turn them into soup. / / Spanners: Er, you do realise that if you fire that thing in here, you'll turn the hull into Swiss cheese and we'll all die horribly, don't you? / / Iki Piki: Look on the bright side. You could always beat them to death with it. http://irregularwebcomic.net/175.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #176 | Hitler's Brain: Bested by Herr Doktor Jones again, Kolonel? / Haken: Ja, mein Fuhrer... / / Hitler's Brain: Zilence! You vill go to South America und retrieve den Mayan Codices! / Haken: But Jones has gone to Egypt... / / Haken: ... for the Book of the Dead. / Hitler's Brain: Don't you dare argue viss me! / / Hitler's Brain: My brain to body mass ratio is 100%! Now go! / Haken: Jawohl, mein Fuhrer! http://irregularwebcomic.net/176.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #177 | Vader: My master, the men are overworked on the construction of the Death Star. They're cutting corners. / Emperor: How so? / / Vader: If you'll just follow me across your private chamber, I shall demonstrate. / / Emperor: Very well, Lord Vader, but this had better be worth it. / Vader: It is, my master. / / Vader: [[peering over the edge of a pit]] See? There's a whopping great hole in your floor, leading down a shaft right into the central reactor core! You could fall in and hurt yourself. http://irregularwebcomic.net/177.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #178 | Haken: [[pointing at a massive airship]] Behold, Erwin, our transport to South America. / Erwin: Die Hindenburg? / / Erwin: Is it safe, Herr Kolonel? / Haken: Safe?! Zeppelins are a triumph of Fatherland technology! / / Haken: A glorious and appropriate symbol of the power of the Third Reich! / / Erwin: Full of gas and likely to blow up any minute? / Haken: Are you sure, you're Aryan, Erwin? http://irregularwebcomic.net/178.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #179 | Draco: Crabbe, Goyle, help me with my latest plan to humiliate Potter and his friends! / Crabbe: Sure, Draco. / Goyle: Okay. / / Draco: You two are such subservient lackeys. How'd you get into Slytherin with so little ambition of your own? / / Crabbe: Well, to get into Hufflepuff or Gryffindor or Ravenclaw you need to be hardworking, or brave, or... uh... / / Goyle: Or smart. / Draco: Ah. I see the problem. http://irregularwebcomic.net/179.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #180 | Erwin: [[from the glass-lined viewing deck]] Die view from up here ist wunderbar. / Zeppelin Captain: [[admiring the green jungle below]] Ja. Nothing beats zeppelins for die taking of die travel photos. / / Erwin: I tink Herr Kolonel Haken vould like a tour of die ship while he ist on board. / / Zeppelin Captain: Nein! Under no circumstances ist die Kolonel to be allowed out of der passenger or control rooms! / Erwin: Vhy not? / / Zeppelin Captain: You vant someone mit a hook for a hand climbing all over die hydrogen gas cells? http://irregularwebcomic.net/180.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 >>