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| Irregular Webcomic! #1951 | Iki Piki: Can we just sort this out later? We're on the run from a loan shark because... you! It was you who told us the wrong team to bet on! / / Serron 2: That'll teach you to steal our organs! / / Iki Piki 2: Wait a minute, wait a minute. He told you to bet on the Acropolis Titans. / / Iki Piki: The Titans lost! / / Iki Piki 2: They what??? / / Serron 2: Wow. They really are a lousy team. Even when you know for a fact that they win, they can still lose. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1951.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1952 | [[scene: Ancient Rome]] / / Marcus: Ave Julius. I hear the Prefect of Judea has been having more trouble with the locals. / / Julius: Yes, but he has a plan. / / Marcus: Oh? / / Julius: He's going to see if instituting a compulsory regime of daily exercise will reduce unrest. / / Marcus: Interesting idea. What's he calling this exercise programme? / / Julius: Pilates. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1952.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1953 | [sound]: SLUUUURP!! SLUUUURP!! [[Adam and Jamie drink]] / / Jamie: I... I remember everything! / / Adam: The Lethe erases memories: Confirmed! / / Jamie: The Mnemosyne restores memories: Confirmed! / / Adam: Sirens lure sailors to their deaths: Confirmed! / / Jamie: We haven't tested that one... / / Adam: I know! And yet, I still know it's true now! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1953.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1954 | Wendy: A pirate curse be a thousand times worse than Death! / / Mate: How can it be a thousand times worse? / / Ponsonby: Yes. Two or three times I could understand. But a thousand? / / Wendy: It still be worse than Death! Be the exact number makin' a difference?! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1954.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1955 | [[scene: Somewhere in the Himalayas, a yeti surveys a panel of sophisticated electronic displays]] / / Yeti: I say. Loch Ness Monster sightings have spiked significantly in the past week. / / Yeti: [[to another yeti]] Mobilise the Secret Action Squadron Team of Cryptid Hunters! / / [[scene change: a close up of phone]] / / [sound]: RIIING! / / Jane Goodall: [[answering phone]] What is it now?! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1955.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1956 | Alvissa: We'll come along peacefully. / / Kyros: For some definition of "peacefully"... / / Draak: Draak say peace just can come from in own self. / / Mordekai: But the club helps, right? / / Draak: It not hurt. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1956.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1957 | Me: [[walking across the Infinite Featureless Plane of Death]] So it's on to... / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: NOPE. CHOO DON'T QUALIFY FOR THAT, GUV. / / Me: [[stopping suddenly]] Wait. You mean...? / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: YES. / / Me: <gasp!> http://irregularwebcomic.net/1957.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1958 | Erwin: Herr Doktor Jones has climbed on to die truck! / / Haken: Well... Go out und get him off! / / Erwin: But I am driving, Herr Kolonel. Die truck will lose control. / / Haken: It is Paris! Nobody will notice! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1958.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1959 | Iki Piki 2: But Serron told you to bet on the Titans. They won the Galactic Cup! / / Iki Piki: They didn't! You're lying! / / Iki Piki 2: Oh come on. What sort of idiot would come back in time and tell his past self to bet on a losing team? / / [[beat]] / / Iki Piki 2: Okay, ignoring that for a second... / / Serron 2: What? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1959.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1960 | Jamie: Wait. I know what's happened. The waters of the Mnemosyne not only restore memory, they grant omniscience! / / Adam: I know! / / Jamie: We should test it to make absolutely sure. / / Adam: I know! / / Jamie: Is the Riemann hypothesis true or false? / / Adam: It's true, but unprovable! / / Jamie: I know! / / Jamie: Wow! We should get the Millennium Prize for that! / / Adam: I know! Alas, we won't. / / Jamie: I know! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1960.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1961 | Jane Goodall: [[into phone]] Loch Ness? <sigh> I was just trying to avoid going to Scotland. / / Yeti: [[into phone]] But it's the grandaddy of all cryptozoological organisms. We have to get someone out there and find out what's happening. / / Yeti: [[into phone]] What's more, you're the best paranormal field investigator SASquaTCH has got. / / Jane Goodall: [[into phone]] Well, that is true... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1961.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1962 | Ponsonby: Well, there's a lot of leeway in this pirate curse. It might actually be merely sixteen, seventeen, possibly even 25 times worse than Death. / / Mate: Or, belike, 172 times worse. / / Ponsonby: Yes! We're talking three whole orders of magnitude here. / / Ponsonby: Fear, violence, superstition, all these things an officer of the Royal Navy takes in stride. But imprecision? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1962.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1963 | Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: CHOO'RE THE FIRST BLOKE IN 'IST'RY WOT'S DIED LIKE THAT. / / Me: What?! Surely not. There must be hundreds of others. / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: 'UNDREDS 'AVE TRIED. BUT NORM'LY ANYONE WOT TRIES FAILS. TO PRESERVE THE TIME STREAM, CHOO SEE? / / Me: [[flashback to strip #1800]] Well, this is it. The moment you've all been waiting for. The character who is going to die is... / / [sound]: [[flashback]] Knock! Knock! / / Me: [[flashback]] [[answering door, revealing the mysterious unnamed assassin is actually Me!]] You! But what...? how...? / / [sound]: [[flashback]] [[Me stabbing Me viciously with a long, curved blade]] SPLATCH! / / Me: But why would I go back in time to try to kill myself? / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: SEARCH ME, GUV. YOU'S THE ONE WOT DID IT. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1963.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1964 | Mordekai: So now what? / / Alvissa: We accept our punishment like men. / / Mordekai: But you're not a man. You're an elf! / / Lambert: I'm a hobbit. / / Dwalin: I'm a dwarf. / / Draak: Draak is cold blood race. / / Kyros: So that makes Mordekai and me the only actual men. / / Alvissa: And strangely enough the only two who did anything wrong... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1964.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1965 | Spanners: Wait, wait... You recall the Titans winning the Galactic Cup before you came back in time? / / Serron 2: Yes! / / Spanners: I was asking future Iki Piki... / / Iki Piki 2: Yes! He's actually right. / / Spanners: But now they've lost it. You've messed up the space-time continuum! / / Serron 2: But we were so careful! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1965.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1966 | Erwin: [[climbing on to the top of the truck barrelling through the streets of Paris]] Herr Doktor Jones! / / Monty: Erwin! / / Erwin: [[now on the roof of the truck with Monty, where Dr Ginny Smith is sitting underneath inside the cargo area]] I am afraid I am going to have to fight with you. / / Monty: I'm ready for you! / / Erwin: It is interesting, Herr Doktor Jones. In all the time we have known each other, this is the first time we have come to blows. / / Erwin: And it is while balanced precariously on the back of a moving vehicle. / / Monty: And over a woman! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1966.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1967 | Adam: So we know everything now? / / Jamie: Yes. Yes, we do. / / Adam: That was a rhetorical question! / / Jamie: I know. I was merely answering to reinforce the irony. / / Adam: I know. Man, this is going to get tedious. / / Jamie: I know. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? / / Adam: Yes. Yes, I am. / / Jamie: I know. / / Adam: I know you know. / / Jamie: I know you know I know. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1967.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1968 | Ponsonby: So now what? / / Wendy: We be needin' the key. Only Cap'n Long Tom Short might be knowin' where that be. / / Ponsonby: You're not saying you want to rescue him from the cannibals? / / Wendy: Nay! I be sayin' you be wantin' to be rescuin' him! [[points pistol at Ponsonby]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/1968.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1969 | [[scene: Loch Ness]] / / [caption]: Loch Ness / / Jane Goodall: I don't see anything. Let's go home. / / SASquaTCH Assistant: But... you're Jane Goodall. You're renowned for your detailed and exhaustive scientific observations and analysis! / / Jane Goodall: What do you think that just was? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1969.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1970 | Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: ACCORDIN' TO THE LAWS OF THE OONIVERSE, CHOO'RE NOW DEFF OF GOIN' BACK IN TIME 'N' MURDERIN' CHORESELF. / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: 'ERE'S CHORE SCYVE, GUV. / / Me: But I still look like me. I'm not a skeleton. / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: OH, CHOO GOT TO DECAY FIRST. TAKES ABOUT 50 YEARS. / / Me: Ewww... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1970.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1971 | Martian 1: So when is this asteroid finally going to hit Earth? / / Martian 2: We timed it to coincide with the end of the then-current election campaign in their United States of America. / / Martian 1: But you did it months ago! Any sensible election campaign must surely be over and done with long before now. / / Martian 2: Do you want to give him the bad news, or shall I? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1971.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1972 | [[scene: In a small holding cell in the village of Footcrag]] / / Kyros: Bugger this for a joke. I'm getting us out of here. / / Dwalin: Nay! These walls are soolid granite, thu bars are iron, 'n' wi're all in thu muddle! [[translation: No! These walls are solid granite, the bars are iron, and we're all in the middle!]] / / Dwalin: Whut exactly d'ye ken a fireball wull do? [[translation: What exactly do you think a fireball will do?]] / / Kyros: Draw attention to our unfair plight. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1972.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1973 | [[scene: The streets of Paris. The elder Joneses are on a sidecar motorcycle, chasing the truck driven by the Nazis.]] / / Minnesota Jones: We're gaining on them. Look, the boy's on the truck! / / Prof. Jones: Ooooh... we're passing La Tour d'Argent! Can we spare the time for some pressed duck? With a nice Bordeaux? / / Minnesota Jones: What do you think?! / / Prof. Jones: I think a Chateau Latour '99 would go nicely. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1973.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1974 | [[scene: the landing pad on Bune]] / / Shady Black Market Weapons Dealer: [[arriving with a couple of dangerous looking henchmen]] There they are! Get them! / / Serron: Quick! Into the ship! Take off! We can discuss this later! / / Spanners: But the fate of the entire universe may rest on us figuring out what's happened to the timestream before we do more damage! / / Serron: What's more important here? That or us?! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1974.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1975 | Jamie: How can we bust myths if we already know everything? / / Adam: We can't! / / Jamie: I know! / / Adam: We need to restore ourselves to our original memories. / / Jamie: I know! / / Charon: I'm not sure that's possible. / / Jamie: Oh it is. / / Adam: We know how to do it. / / Charon: [[turning away]] Know-it-alls... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1975.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1976 | [[scene: An idyllic river bank somewhere in the countryside around London]] / / Stud: Well Miss Sylvia Ditch, you finally have me all to yourself. / / Sylvia Ditch: I was enjoying a bit of a punt on this river by myself before you drove up unnanounced, you know. / / Stud: Champagne? / / Sylvia Ditch: I think your car phone's ringing. / / Stud: Ho ho ho! A phone in a car! The very idea! Why, I'd have to be some sort of secret agent to have access to speculatively advanced technology like that. / / Sylvia Ditch: No, really. / / [sound]: RIIING!! / / [sound]: RIIING!! / / [sound]: RIIING!! / / Stud: Oh, right. Forget that bit about a secret agent. / / Sylvia Ditch: I'm trying, trust me... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1976.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1977 | SASquaTCH Assistant: Dr Goodall! Look at that! / / Jane Goodall: That's Dame Goodall to you... / / [[The Surgeon's Photo of a mysterious plesiosaur-like neck and head rising above the Loch]] / / Jane Goodall: My god, we've found it. It's all fuzzy and indistinct. I can't really tell what it is. / / SASquaTCH Assistant: I always thought that was just poor photography... / / Jane Goodall: Nope. Classic sign of an actual cryptid. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1977.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1978 | [[scene: A table in a tavern, where a villager and a couple of the town guards are chatting.]] / / Villager: So what are we going to do with these adventurers we caught? / / Guard 1: We could shove them through the teleport gate to Cragfoot and let them deal with them. / / Guard 2: That won't work; they'll resist. One's a fire wizard, and one's a lizard man. We'd never survive. / / Guard 1: That's not what I'm most afraid of. / / Guard 2: Oh? / / Guard 1: That hobbit looked primed for punning. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1978.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1979 | Me: So how do I kill myself? I'd have to go back in time somehow. / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: CHOO DON' 'AFF TO, GUV. AS A DEFF, CHOO EXIST OUTSIDE THE NORMAL FLOW OF TIME, AS SUCH. / / Me: You realise you're giving away all of my secret comic background material? / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: 'EY, CHOO ASKED. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1979.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1980 | [[scene: The Oval Office]] / / Science Advisor: Mr President, we've drawn up an action plan to deal with the impending asteroid strike. NASA has fast-tracked a prototype deep space vehicle. / / Science Advisor: We just need two insanely reckless crew members experienced in using excessive quantities of high explosive. / / Allosaurus: RAAARRRHH!!! / / Science Advisor: The first people we thought of. Unfortunately they seem to have vanished completely attempting to pull a tooth with string, a doorknob, and 30 sticks of dynamite. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1980.html |
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