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Irregular Webcomic! #2491 Scientist Adam: So. You're a Martian, huh? / / Martian 3: Yes. / / Scientist Adam: Prove it. / / [[beat]] / / Martian 3: What, besides having an exoskeleton and a crashed flying saucer? / / Scientist Jamie: Yeah. Go on, say something in Martian.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2491.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2492 [[scene: a prison cell in Berlin]] / / Minnesota Jones: So, the Nazis are planning to conquer Europe. / / Prof. Jones: We should try to stop them! / / Monty: Oh, you think so, Dad?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2492.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2493 Terry: Steve, you need to tell Jane the truth. Look, she came back to organise a mass evacuation for a Balrog that isn't even alive any more! / / Steve: Crikey! What if I just tell her that 'e's really just a bewdiful creature who wouldn't hurt a fly? / / Terry: Right. Coming from you that'll mean a lot. / / Steve: Oh, I'm sure she's forgotten all about that Tasmanian devil by now. / / Steve: Besides, it was just a love bite! / / Terry: She was in hospital for six months, Steve.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2493.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2495 Iki Piki: So where are these Orcrift Mountains? / / Spanners: East. / / Ii Piki: We're in a neuropsychological construct created by our own imaginations, not a real place! How do you define "east"? / / Spanners: That way. [[pointing at a sign saying "East" and "Orcrift Mountains"]] / / Iki Piki: You just made that up. / / Spanners: Yeah, so?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2495.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2496 [[scene: Somewhere near the Orcrift Montains]] / / Mordekai: You know, all these stories you tell about your Uncle Bilbert... / / Lambert: Yes? / / Mordekai: And then stories about your ring being coveted by some strange Gollum-like creature... / / Lambert: Yes? / / Mordekai: And now a wild story about an army of ghosts who will fulfil an ancient oath to you. It's all a bit fantastic and unlikely. / / Lambert: Are you calling me an hobbitual liar? / / Mordekai: I'm just saying you're Tolkien out of both sides of your mouth.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2496.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2497 Steve: Erm... Jane, I have to tell you something. We can't tell the public there's a Balrog on the loose. / / Jane Goodall: Indeed! The public can't know the truth about these cryptozoological entities. They'd panic. / / Steve: Crikey! No, I mean... / / Jane Goodall: We'll make up some cover story about terrorists releasing flesh-eating viruses across the city or something.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2497.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2498 Scientist Adam: So. A real life Martian. We have to announce this to the world! / / Scientist Jamie: Yes, a discovery of this magnitude is too scientifically important to conceal. The world must know! / / Scientist Jamie: Think of the change of perspective this will generate for the human condition! / / Scientist Adam: I was thinking of the money we can make on the talk show circuit.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2498.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2499 [[scene: A random collection of four panels from different themes]] / / Caption: Ceci n'est pas une bande dessin?e en ligne
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2499.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2500 Lambert: Here's the entrance. We pass through this tunnel. / / Dwalin: It feels spuiky. [[translation: It feels spooky.]] / / Lambert: Well of course it's spooky! It's full of ghosts! / / Draak: Draak not fear ghosts. / / Lambert: See, Draak's not afraid. / / Dwalin: Draak's nae afraid o' Kyros, either! What's yer point? [[translation: Draak's not afraid of Kyros, either! What's your point?]] / / Draak: Draak know to toss dwarf foot in for luck first.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2500.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2501 General: So what have you learned about the Martian? / / Young Adam: Martian? There's no such thing as Martians. / / General: What about the flying saucer that crashed in the desert? / / Young Jamie: That was no flying saucer. It was just a weather balloon! / / General: It was? Really? Oh man, I'm glad you told me. I had reporters all ready for a big story. I better go tell them the truth.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2501.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2502 Steve: No Jane, you're not getting me! It's not necessary to warn the public at all. The Balrog was... pretty relaxed last time I saw him. / / Jane Goodall: Relaxed? / / Steve: Calmer. No threat to anyone. Ever again! / / [[beat]] / / Jane Goodall: ... Did you know chimps exhibit deceptive behaviour? / / Steve: [[looking at computer]] Oh look, 'e just posted on Twitter! "Blending into society. Becoming accountant. Hope I'm left alone!"
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2502.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2503 [[scene: Istanbul]] / / [[Grant drives up to the Russian Embassy in a Russian car.]] / / SFX: Skreeeech! / / [[Grant gets out and walks to another car. The Embassy doorman notices the Russian driver in the car is dead!]] / / Klebb: Good work. The Cold War in Istanbul will not remain cold very much longer. Who can the Russians suspect but the British? / / Klebb: Who else but James Stud would be stupid enough to kill an agent and dump the body on the doorstep of the embassy?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2503.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2504 Guard: Here is your food. / / Monty: Say, what happened to that old guard who was here last time? He used to tell us stories about his service in the Great War. / / Guard: He has retired to die countryside. It was always his ambition to end his days caring for animals. / / Monty: You mean... / / Guard: Ja. He is a veteran Aryan.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2504.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2505 General: [[into phone]] Mr President? / / General: We have a report from the scientists on that crash here at Roswell. / / General: Turns out it wasn't a Martian flying saucer. It was only a weather balloon. I guess the world isn't all that strange after all. / / Allosaurus: RAAARRRHH!!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2505.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2506 Paris: Why do you think these are called the Orcrift Mountains? / / Spanners: Because there are orcs. Look! / / Paris: Okay. But why "rift"? / / Orc 1: I don't care what he said. I disagree! / / Orc 2: Well I'm not talking to you any more then!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2506.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2507 Mordekai: I once had a ghost working for me. / / Lambert: Really? / / Mordekai: I wanted him to follow a bank employee so I could find out how they opened the vault where the gold was. / / Mordekai: For completely innocent reasons, of course. / / Lambert: Of course. / / Mordekai: But the ghost refused. / / Lambert: Oh? / / Mordekai: Yeah. I forgot dead men tail no tellers.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2507.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2508 Scientist Jamie: Well I'm stumped. We don't know the first experiment to try on a real live Martian. / / Scientist Adam: There's an expert on these sorts of things, living in England. / / Scientist Jamie: Well, contact him! / / Scientist Adam: Her. Oh, and she's 13 years old... / / Scientist Adam: [[into phone]] Get me Jane Goodall.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2508.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2509 Ginny: Now that I've captured the Joneses for you, I want some sort of reward. / / Hitler's Brain: Ja, ja, Germany und Russia will always be firm allies, whatever. / / Ginny: No, I want a night out with Erwin. / / Erwin: You do? / / Haken: Hmmm. I suppose you can have die tickets to Shakespeare und die booking for a dinner of sauerkraut und sausages. / / Hitler's Brain: I was looking forward to that!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2509.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2510 Steve: Jane, why do we need to keep the existence of bewdiful critters like Balrogs secret? The public deserves to know! / / Jane Goodall: If any news of things like this leaks out, it'll be like Roswell all over again! / / Steve: What happened at Roswell?! / / Jane Goodall: That's classified, so I can't tell you. / / Jane Goodall: But it'll be like that all over again! / / Steve: Crikey!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2510.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2511 [[scene: Near the Orcrift Mountains; night has fallen]] / / Alvissa: Is he still gathering mana? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: APPARENTLY. / / Alvissa: He's going to raze the entire continent, isn't he? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: OH, I HOPE SO. / / [[beat]] / / Alvissa: It's your turn. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: SORRY. DO YOU HAVE ANY SEVENS? / / Alvissa: Go fish.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2511.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2512 SFX: Fwackoom! / / Caption: Later: [[Kerim Bey's office in Istanbul. A wall has been destroyed near his desk.]] / / Stud: What happened, Kerim? / / Kerim Bey: Limpet mine on the wall. It's not like the Russians to break the peace like this. Fortunately I was over there having a dalliance with my mistress. / / Stud: Having dalliances is my strategy for avoiding danger too. / / Kerim Bey: You must be in danger all the time then.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2512.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2513 Iki Piki: So why is this called the Swamp of Terror? / / Spanners: It's a cyberzone that manifests our most terrifying innermost thoughts and fears. / / Serron: Gaaaah!! Is that Duran Duran playing live over there? / / Paris: And us without tickets!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2513.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2514 [[scene: the Infinite Featureless Plane of Death]] / / Death of Being Wrestled To Death By Steve: So, wrestled to death by Steve, huh? / / Death of Being Wrestled To Death By Steve: Don't worry. It's happened to stronger entities than you. / / [[beat]] / / Death of Being Wrestled To Death By Steve: Hmm. I only said that to be comforting, but now that I think about it, it's true...
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2514.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2515 [[Mordekai, Lambert, Dwalin, and Draak explore the dark recesses of the cave.]] / / Mordekai: So, these ghosts. Do they have lots of treasure? Just out of idle curiosity. / / Lambert: No! They're ghosts! They're non-materialistic. / / Mordekai: You mean non-material. / / Lambert: That too.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2515.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2516 Monty: What are we doing here, Dad? We try to recover ancient artefacts to learn about past civilisations and increase human knowledge. / / Monty: And we always end up here. Is this what the modern world has come to? Sacrificing the past for personal gains? Greed and tyranny? / / Monty: I fear dark forces are gathering. A storm of evil the likes of which the world has never seen stands ready to be unleashed. / / Monty: But here we stand, a few with the knowledge and strength to fight! Yes, that is why we're here! / / Prof. Jones: Are you going to eat that?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2516.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2517 Jane Goodall: And another thing... / / SFX: Riiing / / Jane Goodall: Dame Jane Goodall. Ths better be damn important. / / Yeti: [[over phone]] Jane, it's SASquaTCH. / / Yeti: [[into phone]] The Balrog's not there any more. It dropped off our sensors even before you got there. / / Jane Goodall: Apparently the Balrog has fled to another plane of existence. / / Terry: I think that covers it, more or less.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2517.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2518 Young Jamie: We're never going to meet our own grandfathers wandering around the base. They'll be locked away in a secure lab somewhere. / / Young Adam: What do you suggest? / / Young Jamie: Let's go into town and hang out in a local bar. / / Young Adam: So we can meet our own grandmothers and try to become our own grandfathers?! / / Young Jamie: I was going to say so we can think about our options. / / Young Adam: I've already thought about them.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2518.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2519 Lambert: A ghost! / / Ghost: The dead do not suffer the living to pass. / / Mordekai: You will suffer me! / / [[beat]] / / Ghost: Huh? What does that even mean?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2519.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2520 Kerim Bey: Come down into the sewers with me, James. / / Stud: Er... okay. / / [[scene change: a vast underground cistern with columns and arches]] / / Kerim Bey: The Emperor Constantine built this as a reservoir sixteen hundred years ago. / / Kerim Bey: This way we can get under the Russian Embassy and spy on what they are doing. / / Stud: Oh! I thought you were just showing me the scenic delights of Istanbul. / / Kerim Bey: That too.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2520.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2521 Martian 2: Saucer 2, ready for rescue mission. / / Martian 1: Remember, take care not to be seen by any Earthlings. / / Martian 2: Roger. / / Martian 1: Retrieve all Martian technology from their clutches. / / Martian 2: Roger. / / Martian 1: Oh, and pick up some frozen yoghurt. / / Martian 1: Roger that!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2521.html
 

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