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| Irregular Webcomic! #2914 | Me: But isn't going back in time to murder my past self simply impossible? My very existence now proves I must have already failed. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: WHEN YOU ELIMINATE THE LIKELY AND THE IMPROBABLE, ONLY THE IMPOSSIBLE REMAINS. / / Me: Ah, but have we eliminated those? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: DO YOU SEE ANYTHING AT ALL LIKELY OR MERELY IMPROBABLE IN WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW? / / Me: Good point. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2914.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2915 | [[scene: a Nazi Mars base]] / / Young Jamie: The Nazis must have won World War II! Our time travel has messed up history! / / Young Adam: Myth confirmed!! / / Young Jamie: How are we going to get out of here? / / Young Adam: Mars, or 1947? / / Young Jamie: Both! / / Cat: Meow! / / Young Adam: Well, our cat wants us to go this way. Let's follow him. / / Young Jamie: Now... why didn't we think of that earlier? http://irregularwebcomic.net/2915.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2916 | Isaac Newton: I have gathered you all here to save the universe from destruction by temporal paradox. / / Galileo: È impossibile! / / Isaac Newton: Yes, Galileo? You have an opinion? / / Galileo: To do this, we need also a wizard! / / Galileo: And an archaeologist! And a primatologist! And some space aliens! And a pizza delivery boy! / / Charles Darwin: Mmm, pizza. / / James Clerk Maxwell: I'm hungry! / / Anton van Leeuwenhoek: Pepperoni! / / James Hutton: Ham and pineapple! / / Antoine Lavoisier: Double mushroom! / / Nicolaus Copernicus: No anchovies! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2916.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2917 | Mordekai: We can't light a fire. It'll attract every wandering monster in a 30 metric square mile radius! / / Dwalin: Noo. Fire drives awee moonsters! [[translation: No. Fire drives away monsters!]] / / Lambert: More importantly, without fire we'll have to eat cold food! / / Mordekai: I could make gazpacho if it makes you feel any better... / / Lambert: Oooh. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2917.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2918 | Hitler's Brain's Clones: Wrestling us will achieve nothing. / / Terry: Oh, now you're in favour of a peaceful solution. / / Hitler's Brain's Clones: We merely run things while die original Führer is away on business. He wil return soon. / / Steve: I'll wrestle him too! / / Hitler's Brain's Clones: Wrestling him will achieve nothing. / / Steve: Make up your minds! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2918.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2919 | [[scene: The engine room on board the Legacy]] / / Iki Piki: Hey Spanners. Where are Paris and Quercus? / / Spanners: They went out looking for you. Thought you might have got into some sort of trouble. / / Spanners: But I see you must have made the delivery okay. / / Serron: Yep! / / Spanners: Great! So this time you have the money to pay our berthing fees, maintenance, and get a new cargo? / / Serron: Money? http://irregularwebcomic.net/2919.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2920 | Charles Darwin: There is one other possibility. / / Isaac Newton: Yes, Mr Darwin? / / Charles Darwin: We need the assistance... of a woman. / / Galileo: Una donna?! / / James Clerk Maxwell: What?! / / Anton van Leeuwenhoek: Never! / / James Hutton: Inconceivable! / / Johannes Kepler: The fairer sex?! / / Nicolaus Copernicus: When pigs fly! / / Antoine Lavoisier: Ooooh... / / Charles Darwin: Can your time conveyance find a specific person in history? / / Isaac Newton: I am Isaac Freaking Newton, what do you think? http://irregularwebcomic.net/2920.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2921 | Alvissa: Hurry up. Night falls quickly in these parts. / / [[it's before dark]] / / [[it's dark]] / / Mordekai: Yeah, I'll give you that. / / Gollum: Gollum! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2921.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2922 | Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: THINK OF GOING BACK IN TIME TO MURDER YOURSELF AS A GAME. / / Me: Oooh, a challenge. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: YES! / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: AGAINST THE ONLY OPPONENT WORTHY OF YOUR SKILL. / / Me: The 1980s West Indian cricket team? http://irregularwebcomic.net/2922.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2923 | [[scene: The Oxford University library]] / / Shakespeare: Excuse me, we're looking for Professor Tolkien. / / Student: He's sitting over there working on his book. / / Shakespeare: Why's he wearing a Viking helmet? / / Student: Shhhh! Whatever you say, don't mention that. He lost a bet with C. S. Lewis. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2923.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2924 | Loren: As it travels through time, your cat will be attracted to ever greater scientific minds, always seeking someone smarter. / / Ishmael: How do you know all this? You're like some kind of expository Deus ex Machina. / / Loren: Funny you should say that. / / Loren: Let me remove this mask... / / Ishamel: You're a robot! That explains everything! / / Loren: Wait... It does? http://irregularwebcomic.net/2924.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2925 | Hitler's Brain: Throw them into die cells until I decide what to do with them! / / Erwin: Jawohl! / / Erwin: March! / / Prof. Jones: We know the way. / / [[scene change: they reach the cells]] / / Erwin: Links! Rechts! Links! / / Monty: Sallah! / / Sallah: Well Monty, you sure took your sweet time getting here this time. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2925.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2926 | [[scene: darkness]] / / Gollum: Gollum! / / Alvissa: It's the Gollum creature! Kyros, some light so we can see it! / / [[Kyros lights his orb]] / / Lambert: He went that way! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2926.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2927 | [[scene: The Head Death's desk]] / / Head Death: Choking On A Giant Frog, sit down. / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Yes, sir. / / Head Death: There's a giant frog I want someone to choke on... / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Officially? / / Head Death: This is totally against the rules! Of course not officially! / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: So... what's in it for me? / / Head Death: You get to save the entire universe from destruction! / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: And...? http://irregularwebcomic.net/2927.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2928 | Shakespeare: Professor Tolkien? / / J. R. R. Tolkien: Yes? / / Shakespeare: We're big fans of your work. / / J. R. R. Tolkien: What work? / / Shakespeare: The Lord of the Rings, of course. / / J. R. R. Tolkien: But, I'm still writing it... / / Mercutio: Hey, put in a tribe of catgirls! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2928.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2929 | Charles Darwin: Well, what did she say? / / Edmond Halley: She said she was too busy right now. Something about a "world war". And we should go forward another 20 years to find a younger version of her. / / Charles Darwin: Forward in time to find her younger? / / Edmond Halley: She said it was too complicated for our "puny male brains" to understand, and to "just freakin' do it, okay?" http://irregularwebcomic.net/2929.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2930 | [[scene: a Nazi base on Mars]] / / Young Adam: Look! Teleport booths! We can get back to Earth! / / Young Jamie: Wait. What if they malfunction and split us into good and evil halves? / / [[beat]] / / Young Adam: Cool!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2930.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2931 | Yeti: I say chaps, there are electric speakers back here. I'll unplug them. / / Hitler's Brain's Clones: Neeeiinnnn!!... / / Terry: Someone's coming! / / Hitler's Brain: [[off-panel]] Die only man I can trust. / / Yeti: Quick, hide back here. There's scads of room. When they leave, we'll just drain the nutrient fluid from the brain tanks. / / Hitler's Brain: [[off-panel]] Copies of me! / / Terry: That's a smart solution. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2931.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2932 | Me: Even if I agree to go back in time and kill my past self, there's one more problem. I can't travel through time. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: THAT SHOULD BE SOLVED ANY SECOND NOW. / / SFX: JURRRZ! [[time machine appears]] / / Me: A TARDIS? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: THE SPECIAL EFFECTS BUDGET IS MUCH CHEAPER THAN A DELOREAN. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2932.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2933 | Dwalin: Doos noobuddy ilse thunk it's a wee bit foony that Lambert's thu oonly one who's seen thus alluged Gollum criture? [[translation: Does nobudy else think it's a bit strange that Lambert's the only one who's seen this Gollum creature?]] / / Lambert: It stole my ring! The one that makes the wearer invisible! / / Mordekai: What? I've never seen you invisible! / / Lambert: See how well it works! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2933.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2934 | Ishmael: The fact that you're a robot explains your callous insensitivity to humans. / / Loren: I was built by Martians. / / Ishmael: Oh. Maybe that explains your callous insensitivity to humans. / / Loren: It's always nice to have a backup excuse. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2934.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2935 | Hitler's Brain: How have things been while I was away? / / Hitler's Brain's Clones: Oh... spiffing. Jolly good. No trouble at all, wot. / / Hitler's Brain: Why have you picked up die English accent? / / Hitler's Brain's Clones: Oh, er... you said we should monitor... das BBC for... der military informatisch-teknischen. Remember, nein? / / Hitler's Brain: Hmmm. / / Haken: You had them take our job? http://irregularwebcomic.net/2935.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2936 | J. R. R. Tolkien: Catgirls? / / Mercutio: Yeah! A tribe of beautiful anthropomorphic Amazon-like cat women! / / Ophelia: Don't be ridiculous, Mercutio! Why on Earth would Professor Tolkien want to put catgirls into Lord of the Rings?! / / J. R. R. Tolkien: Hmmm. My elves are a bit dull... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2936.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2937 | Head Death: I'm offering you the chance to save the entirety of reality from paradoxical destruction. What more do you need? / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: I want a promotion. / / Head Death: Name it. / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: Insanely. Overpowered. Fireballs. / / Head Death: I was expecting something glamorous like Being Axe Murdered or something. / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: That's for hacks. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2937.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2938 | Sallah: I hadn't seen any of you for years, Monty. You just vanished in Libya. I had nothing to do but take on the Nazis myself. / / Monty: And you failed... / / Sallah: It was me alone against the entire Nazi war machine! / / Monty: Sorry Sallah. I didn't mean to judge you harshly. / / Sallah: If I'd had a camel, maybe things would have been different. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2938.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2939 | Young Jamie: Wait again. How does this teleporter actually work? / / Young Adam: Nazi science, obviously. / / Young Jamie: No, I mean does it physically transport our component atoms somehow, or merely destroy us and reassemble a perfect copy elsewhere? / / Young Jamie: There are big philosophical questions here. Is our consciousness bound to the continuous existence of a single physical body? / / Young Jamie: Is a teleported copy really us? / / Young Adam: And can we hack it to make multiple copies of ourselves! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2939.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2940 | Isaac Newton: David Morgan-Mar? / / Me: Yes? / / Isaac Newton: I am Isaac Newton and this is Edmond Halley. We have travelled through time to collect the greatest scientific minds in history. / / Me: And you want me next? / / Isaac Newton: Ah hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... / / Isaac Newton: ... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2940.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2941 | Spanners: I see you've picked up a mammal. / / Serron: It's a cat! / / Spanners: All mammals look the same to me. / / Iki Piki: Well he seems to like you a lot better than Serron. / / Serron: Can't imagine why. / / Spanners: Hand me that hyper-wrench. I've calculated that a small adjustment to the engine fusion conduits will optimise our reaction cross-section. / / Cat: Me-ow! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2941.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2942 | Lambert: I don't wear my ring because it corrupts the wearer into a greedy and obsessively selfish person. / / [[beat]] / / Alvissa: Are you sure you've never worn it? / / Lambert: It also puts the wearer under the corrupting influence of the Dark Lord! / / Mordekai: Voldemort? http://irregularwebcomic.net/2942.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2943 | J. R. R. Tolkien: You people obviously know what works in fantasy fiction. Could you give me your opinion on something? / / Shakespeare: Sure! / / J. R. R. Tolkien: So far I have a hobbit and a wizard and a dwarf and an elf... / / Mercutio: Yes? / / J. R. R. Tolkien: What else should I add to my band of heroes? / / Shakespeare: A lizard man and a lovable rogue would round that out nicely. / / Ophelia: Will!! / / J. R. R. Tolkien: Oooh... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2943.html |
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