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| Multiplex #1: I'm Sorry | [[Kurt is at the box office selling tickets.]]
/ Kurt: What movie, please?
/ Guy (grinning): I'd like one for "Now Showing"... / Guy: ..."Now Showing"...
/ [[Kurt stares.]] / Guy: uh...
/ Kurt: What, like I've never heard that before?
/ Kurt: What movie? / Guy: I'm sorry. Wedding Crashers, please...
/ Kurt: $9.
/ < http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/1 |
| Multiplex #1: I'm Sorry | [[Kurt is at the box office selling tickets.]]
/ Kurt: What movie, please?
/ Guy (grinning): I'd like one for "Now Showing"... / Guy: ..."Now Showing"...
/ [[Kurt stares.]] / Guy: uh...
/ Kurt: What, like I've never heard that before?
/ Kurt: What movie? / Guy: I'm sorry. Wedding Crashers, please...
/ Kurt: $9.
/ < http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/1 |
| Multiplex #1: I'm Sorry | [[Kurt is at the box office selling tickets.]]
/ Kurt: What movie, please?
/ Guy (grinning): I'd like one for "Now Showing"... / Guy: ..."Now Showing"...
/ [[Kurt stares.]] / Guy: uh...
/ Kurt: What, like I've never heard that before?
/ Kurt: What movie? / Guy: I'm sorry. Wedding Crashers, please...
/ Kurt: $9.
/ < http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/1 |
| Multiplex #1: I'm Sorry | [[Kurt is at the box office selling tickets.]]
/ Kurt: What movie, please?
/ Guy (grinning): I'd like one for "Now Showing"... / Guy: ..."Now Showing"...
/ [[Kurt stares.]] / Guy: uh...
/ Kurt: What, like I've never heard that before?
/ Kurt: What movie? / Guy: I'm sorry. Wedding Crashers, please...
/ Kurt: $9.
/ < http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/1 |
| Multiplex #2: Seriously | [[Kurt is at the ticket booth, and two girls stand at the counter, a blonde and an Asian. They have their hands on their hips and are frowning.]]
/ Blonde: You were a total dick to that last guy.
/ Kurt: I can be a dick to you, too, if you want. / Blonde (aghast): Ew, pervert!
/ Asian girl: Seriously!
/ Kurt: ... / Kurt: That's not how I meant it...
/ Blonde: Seriously.
/ Asian girl: Ew. / Blonde: Can we, like, go to the other cashier?
/ Asian girl: Seriously. / Blonde (as they walk away): I mean, seriously!
/ Kurt: ... / Kurt (quietly): I love you... http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/2 |
| Multiplex #2: Seriously | [[Kurt is at the ticket booth, and two girls stand at the counter, a blonde and an Asian. They have their hands on their hips and are frowning.]]
/ Blonde: You were a total dick to that last guy.
/ Kurt: I can be a dick to you, too, if you want. / Blonde (aghast): Ew, pervert!
/ Asian girl: Seriously!
/ Kurt: ... / Kurt: That's not how I meant it...
/ Blonde: Seriously.
/ Asian girl: Ew. / Blonde: Can we, like, go to the other cashier?
/ Asian girl: Seriously. / Blonde (as they walk away): I mean, seriously!
/ Kurt: ... / Kurt (quietly): I love you... http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/2 |
| Multiplex #2: Seriously | [[Kurt is at the ticket booth, and two girls stand at the counter, a blonde and an Asian. They have their hands on their hips and are frowning.]]
/ Blonde: You were a total dick to that last guy.
/ Kurt: I can be a dick to you, too, if you want. / Blonde (aghast): Ew, pervert!
/ Asian girl: Seriously!
/ Kurt: ... / Kurt: That's not how I meant it...
/ Blonde: Seriously.
/ Asian girl: Ew. / Blonde: Can we, like, go to the other cashier?
/ Asian girl: Seriously. / Blonde (as they walk away): I mean, seriously!
/ Kurt: ... / Kurt (quietly): I love you... http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/2 |
| Multiplex #3: Girl Power | [[Jason is at the ticket booth, and two smiling young girls stand at the counter.]]
/ Young Girl #1: Two for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants!
/ Young Girl #2: Please! / [[Kurt joins Jason at the counter.]]
/ Jason: I can't believe girls are still going to that movie...
/ Kurt: Oh, it's not so bad. / [[Jason looks confused and worried.]]
/ Jason: ... / Kurt: What? Blake Lively is totally hot! http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/3 |
| Multiplex #5: Girls, Girls, Girls | [[Kurt is sitting at the manager's station typing on the computer. On the wall behind him is a calendar open to the month of July and a poster for The Bad News Bears {{Billy Bob Thornton, 2005}}. Across the counter is a creepy loser in a wife beater. He's bald with a ponytail and wearing a gold chain.]]
/ Creepy Loser: Hey, kid. Can I get a job application?
/ Kurt: Uh... sure. Let me find one. / [[Sunny walks by.]]
/ Sunny: Hi, Kurt! I'm clocked in now!
/ Creepy Loser (to Sunny): Hey, there.
/ Sunny: Um, hi? / Creepy Loser: How much it pay?
/ Kurt: Minimum wage, then a review every 60 days. / [[Becky walks by.]]
/ Creepy Loser: Right on. (to Becky) What's up?
/ Becky: Er, hello. / [[Creepy Loser watches Becky out of the corner of his eye and tugs on his gold chain.]]
/ Creepy Loser: Man, is it hot in here or what? / [[Creepy Loser leans against the counter and crosses his arms. Amy walks by.]]
/ Creepy Loser: Say, how old are the ladies that work here, huh?
/ Kurt: 17 or 18, mostly. / [[Creepy Loser turns and watches Amy walk away. Kurt holds up an application.]]
/ Creepy Loser: Right on. Man, what I wouldn't do all up in that ass.
/ Kurt: Here you go. / [[Creepy Loser looks angrily at application.]]
/ Creepy Loser: Under "Position Applied For," why's it say "Creepy Loser"?
/ Kurt: It does? You're hired! http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/5 |
| Multiplex #6: What's That, Sonny? | [[Jason is at the ticket booth, and an elderly woman and her grandson are standing at the counter.]]
/ Grandmother: One child and one senior for Sky High, please.
/ Grandson: Thank you, gramma!
/ Jason (quietly): I would advise getting sky high if you want to enjoy Sky High. / [[The grandson looks hurt and confused. Jason smiles broadly.]]
/ Grandmother: Pardon me?
/ Jason (louder): I said, "That's $12, ma'am." http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/6 |
| Multiplex #7: True Love | [[Jason and Becky are watching a movie. A teary-eyed brunette is weeping on-screen.]]
/ WOMAN (on-screen): But Tom... in just the last hour and a half, you've lied to me repeatedly, you've smoked pot, and you've even illegally downloaded major Hollywood movies from the internet!
/ WOMAN (on-screen): You've cheated on me with my best friend, my sister, my dad, and my poodle! At the same time!
/ WOMAN (on-screen): What on Earth could you possibly say that could make me look past all that? / [[Tom is your stereotypical blond-haired, chiseled-features stoic.]]
/ TOM (on-screen): I love you.
/
/ [[Tom and the Woman kiss passionately. Jason is leaning away from Becky, his expression one of shock and disgust.]]
/ WOMAN: Oh, Tom...
/ BECKY: This movie is so romantic... http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/7 |
| Multiplex #8: The Blogger | [[Jason stands behind the ticket counter. A portly dark haired man with a goatee, aka The Blogger, approaches, notebook in hand.]]
/ The Blogger: Hi! I write movie reviews for my blog! I would like to see The Great Raid.
/ Jason: That's $9. / [[The Blogger holds up his pen and notebook.]]
/ The Blogger: But I am going to review it. For my blog.
/ Jason: You have to work that kind of thing out with the film's distributor, sir. / [[The Blogger's thick brow furrows, and he clicks his pen, which begins to glow red.]]
/ The Blogger: Did I mention it's for my blog?
/ JASON: I appreciate that. It's still $9. / [[The Blogger's eyebrows furrow deeper. He points the glowing pen at Jason, inches from his face. Jason's eyes are closed.]]
/ The Blogger: I AM GOING TO BLOG ABOUT YOUR INSOLENCE!!! / [[Jason keeps his eyes shut. The Blogger withdraws his pen and looks at Jason.]] / [[Jason still has his eyes shut.]]
/ The Blogger: What are you doing?
/ Jason: I'm trying to wake up. People as annoying as you can not possibly exist. http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/8 |
| Multiplex #8: The Blogger | [[Jason stands behind the ticket counter. A portly dark haired man with a goatee, aka The Blogger, approaches, notebook in hand.]]
/ The Blogger: Hi! I write movie reviews for my blog! I would like to see The Great Raid.
/ Jason: That's $9. / [[The Blogger holds up his pen and notebook.]]
/ The Blogger: But I am going to review it. For my blog.
/ Jason: You have to work that kind of thing out with the film's distributor, sir. / [[The Blogger's thick brow furrows, and he clicks his pen, which begins to glow red.]]
/ The Blogger: Did I mention it's for my blog?
/ JASON: I appreciate that. It's still $9. / [[The Blogger's eyebrows furrow deeper. He points the glowing pen at Jason, inches from his face. Jason's eyes are closed.]]
/ The Blogger: I AM GOING TO BLOG ABOUT YOUR INSOLENCE!!! / [[Jason keeps his eyes shut. The Blogger withdraws his pen and looks at Jason.]] / [[Jason still has his eyes shut.]]
/ The Blogger: What are you doing?
/ Jason: I'm trying to wake up. People as annoying as you can not possibly exist. http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/8 |
| Multiplex #9: Story of His Life | [[Jason stands at the counter. In front of him stands an older gentleman with a sour look on his face. A younger couple stands behind him.]]//JASON: "One for Forty Year-Old Virgin?" http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/9 |
| Multiplex #10: Rage! Rage! | [[Wideframe shot of Becky at the back door to the theater. A poster for The Legend of Zorro is on the wall.]]
/ Becky: Hey, Jason? Kurt? The door to the south lot was left open. Could you two do a walk-through before we leave?
/ Radio: No problem, Becky. / [[Becky begins walking toward the hallway, away from the door. On her left, Kurt's head can be seen peeking out of a doorway in Theatre 2. On the right, a slight profile of Jason can be seen in the vestibule to Theatre 1.]] / [[Becky stops and puts her hands on her hips. A poster for Transporter 2 is on the wall.]]
/ Radio: Hey, who are you guys?!
/ Radio: Where's the money, kid? / [[Becky continues up the hall, looking a little nervous. To the right, Jason can now be seen just inside the doorway to Theatre 3. Posters are on the wall for A Sound of Thunder and The Constant Gardener.]]
/ Becky: Ha ha, not funny, boys.
/ Radio: Hey, he's try {{sic}} to use his radio! / [[Becky looks toward Theatre 3, where sounds can be heard through the wall. Kurt can be seen laughing to the left, just inside the door to Theatre 4.]]
/ Radio: Quick! Bust a cap in him!
/ < http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/10 |
| Multiplex #11: The Best Spot, part 1 | JASON (to Kurt, at manager's station): Hey, Kurt. I'm off now, but I'm going to watch The Transporter 2 before I head home./KURT: Dude, bring a towel for your pants.//JASON (in theater, tired): Oh, thank God. Empty theater... Ahhhhhhhh...//[[Jason watches the screen as a preview comes up.]]//[[A man walks into the theater as the trailer for Jarhead rolls.]]//[[Jason stares as the man sits down immediately next to him in the otherwise completely empty theater.]]//[[Jason stares at the man.]]/MAN: What? http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/11 |
| Multiplex #12: The Best Spot, part 2 | [[Jason and Man watch a movie. Someone enters at the back of the theater.]]//WIFE #1: Hey, honey. Guess who I ran into in the lobby?/MAN: Aw, jeez. It's your sister, isn't it?/[[Someone else enters at the back of the theater.]]//WIFE #1: Your brother!/[[Twin appears at the right. They look exactly the same.]]/MAN: Dude, you're wearing the same shirt as me!/TWIN: Nah, dude! You know what they say--//MAN and TWIN (together): TWIN MINDS THINK ALIKE! Ha ha ha ha--//MAN: Where's your wife tonight?/TWIN: Oh, she'll be here in a sec. And guess what?/[[Another person enters at the back of the theater.]]//[[Wife #2 comes up with a screaming baby.]]/TWIN: We brought little Screechy!/LITTLE SCREECHY: WAAAAHH!!! WAAAAHH!!! WAAAAHH!!!/MAN: Right on! I hope he likes explosions!/[[Jason sheds a tear.]] http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/12 |
| Multiplex #13: The Best Spot, part 3 | [[Jason is surrounded by four strangers in an otherwise completely empty theater.]]/WIFE #1 (to Wife #2): Screechy is getting so big so fast!/AARON (to Twin): You coming over tomorrow for the game?/TWIN (to Aaron): Of course, dude.../WIFE #2 (to Wife #1): Isn't he, though? I wish he could be tiny forever./LITTLE SCREECHY: WAAAAHH!!! WAAAAHH!!! WAAAAHH!!!//WIFE #1 (to Wife #2): Aaron and I want children so bad, but his little guys just can't swim fast enough!/AARON (to Wife #1): What'd you have to say that for, huh?/WIFE #1 (to Aaron): What? It's not like I said how you can't get it--/AARON (to Wife #1): --God, I told you, that was just a one-time--/LITTLE SCREECHY: WAAAAHH!!! WAAAAHH!!! WAAAAHH!!!//JASON (standing up, arms flailing): SHUUUT UUUP!//JASON (shouting as The Transporter 2 plays behind him): Why do you people even leave your stupid house if you're not even going to pay any attention to the frickin' movie?!//SFX (from beside Wife #1): DOOT DEE DOOT DEE DOO DOOT DEE DOO DOOT DOODEEDEEDOODEE*//WIFE #1 (pulling out cell phone): HELLO?/[[Jason buries his head in one hand.]]/WIFE #1 (into phone): OH MY GOD, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS. WE'RE WATCHING THIS MOVIE, RIGHT? NO, RIGHT NOW. THE TRANSPORTER OR SOMETHING. AARON PICKED IT, I DON'T KNOW... NO, IT'S NOT LIKE STAR TREK. ANYWAY, THIS PSYCHOTIC CHINESE KID JUST STARTS YELLING AT US. NO, LIKE RIGHT NOW! I KNOW, RIGHT?/LITTLE SCREECHY: WAAAAHH!!! WAAAAHH!!! WAAAAHH!!! http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/13 |
| Multiplex#14: M'm M'm Good | [[Kurt is sweeping up popcorn in the lobby as a small boy eats popcorn off of the floor. There are posters of "Shop Girl," "Elizabethtown," and "The Squid and the Whale" on the wall.]] / KURT: Oh, that's great practice for when you get to grade school. You can be the dirty kid. http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/14 |
| Multiplex #15: The Blogger Returns | [[The Blogger walks up to the ticket booth.]]/JASON: Dude. I told you last time: you can't get in for free.//THE BLOGGER: Fine, I'll pay. But only because I don't want this theater to close./[[Jason looks shocked.]]//JASON (happily): Oh! Okay. So what'll it be, then, guy?//THE BLOGGER: One child for A History of Violence, please. http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/15 |
| Multiplex #16: That's Really Interesting | JASON (to customer): Theater 5, straight ahead./[[A sign for Theater 5 is visible in the background.]]/CUSTOMER: Duh.//[[Jason walks away from the ticket taker station.]]//[[Jason walks up to Becky and Kurt at concession.]]/JASON: Hey, what's up, guys?/BECKY: Kurt and I were just talking about what we'd do if we had a time machine./JASON: And?//BECKY: I'd go back to meet Jane Austen. She's my favorite writer.../KURT: Girl on girl. You know it./BECKY: What about you, Jason?//JASON: I'd go back to save Orson Welles's original cut of The Magnificent Ambersons, one of film's lost masterpieces.//JASON: RKO Pictures butchered the film in the editing room by reshooting scenes and excising over fifty minutes of footage -- and later on they actually burned the cut footage./[[Becky and Kurt glance at each other.]]//JASON: The existing version has its merits, but.../KURT (holding out his hand to say "stop"): Nevermind, dude. You killed it. http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/16 |
| Multiplex #17: The Gay Blade | [[Kurt, Jason and Becky watch a movie. A man stabs someone off-screen with a sword.]]/VOICE (from off-screen): AAAARRRGHH!!//BECKY: Why do you like this stuff?/KURT: Because it's AWESOME, that's why!/VOICE (from movie): I don't need two arms to beat you, Ranger!//BECKY: Don't you think all this sword fighing stuff is just a little bit... homoerotic?/KURT: It's not gay! All boys like to play with their swords./VOICE (from movie): I've got to hand it to you, you're quite an opponent!//[[Becky stands up. A particularly effeminate man appears on-screen behind her.]]/BECKY: Well, I'm going home. You boys can just whip out your swords and play with them to your heart's content. I won't judge.//[[Kurt and Jason pull out two swords as the men in the movie cross blades.]]/JASON and KURT (together): En garde! http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/17 |
| Multiplex #18: Gimme an E! | [[Becky is putting the showtimes up above the ticket booths. Jason is steadying the ladder for her.]]//BECKY (looking at the showtimes): Aw, crap. I'm missing a letter.//BECKY (to Sunny, pointing at a box of plastic letters): Hey, Sunny, can you give me an E?!//SUNNY (like a cheerleader): E!//[[Jason looks at Sunny's butt as she squats down to get a letter from the box.]]//[[Sunny hands Becky the letter.]]/SUNNY: Here you go, Becky!//BECKY (putting the letter in place as Sunny walks away): Anybody who's that happy all the time has GOT to be totally psycho. http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/18 |
| Multiplex #19: He's Just Persistent | [[Stalker Boy walks around the front of the theater whistling.]]//MELISSA (looking off-panel): Aw, man! Stalker Boy is walking up front...//MELISSA (ducking under the manager's station desk, which Kurt is sitting at): I gotta hide...//STALKER BOY (to Kurt): Kurt. Is Melissa working?/KURT: Uhhh, no. She got off at four.//[[Melissa, still under the desk, looks at Kurt as if he's her hero.]]/Stalker Boy (off-panel): But her car is in the back parking lot./KURT: You know Melissa is MY GIRLFRIEND, right?//STALKER BOY (walking away): Whatever, dude. You're just jealous of our love. But fine, I'll go. I know when I'm not wanted./MELISSA (whispering from under desk, off-panel): Could've fooled me...//MELISSA (sighing): Whew!//JASON (walking up to the station): Hey, I saw Stalker Boy drive around back, better tell—//JASON (spotting Melissa coming out from under the desk): —whoa-ho-ho! WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE?!/KURT: GOD! No means no, Melissa!/MELISSA (mumbling): On second thought, maybe 30 phone calls a day isn't too much. http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/19 |
| Multiplex #20: They Came, They Saw | [[Kurt, Melissa, Becky and Jason watch "Saw 2" in their Halloween costumes. Melissa is dressed as Mary Jane in Oriental garb from the first Spider-Man film. Becky is dressed as Yellow Ballgown Belle from Disney's "Beauty and the Beast." Kurt is dressed as Michael J. Fox's character from "Teen Wolf." Jason is "dressed" as Mowgli from "The Jungle Book." The character on-screen is digging through syringes, her face miserable. Melissa's hands are raised to face-level in mock-awe.]]
/ Jason: She used to be a junkie -- and the key she needs to survive is in a room full of syringes!
/ Melissa: The irony! The pathos! / Melissa: This movie is both vile and disgusting.
/ Becky: The only thing that scares me about this movie is how many people spent money to see this... / Melissa: Let's go start up Shopgirl instead. That looks a kajillion times better than this...
/ Becky: Yes.
/ Jason: Yes, please. / Melissa (to Kurt): Coming?
/ Kurt: I'm enjoying this...
/ Becky: Kurt, your taste in movies is the embodiment of all that is evil. / [[Everyone except Kurt is standing up to leave.]]
/ KURT: Have fun.
/ Jason: Suit yourself. / [[Kurt grins gleefully at the screen as the others file out.]] / [[Melissa shouts at Kurt from near the exit. Kurt is standing up.]]
/ Melissa: Claire Danes shows her ass in it!
/ KURT: Well, why didn't you say so?! http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/20 |
| Multiplex #21: Just Say 'Nah' | [[A hippie couple approaches the ticket booth.]]
/ FRANKLIN: Hi, welcome to Multiplex 10. I'm Franklin.
/ JASON: I'm Jason. I'm training the black teenager you see before you.
/ HIPPIE BOY (flashing a "two" or "peace" sign): Two, um, Jarhead. / FRANKLIN: That's 18.
/ HIPPIE BOY (gesturing towards his money, which is still in his pocket): Oh... Yeah... / HIPPIE BOY (counting money): uh... five...
/ [[Franklin glances back at Jason.]] / HIPPIE BOY (counting money): uh... ten... / FRANKLIN: Sir, do you realize that you could have gotten your money out while youre in line for the past five minutes?
/ HIPPIE BOY (counting money): um... unh... / JASON (to Franklin): Good, but don't ASK them -- COMMAND them. You've got to make sure whitey always knows who is in control: YOU. You are in control.
/ HIPPIE BOY (confused): Nah? http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/21 |
| Multiplex #22: Pinoy Power | [[Jason and Franklin walk up to Sunny.]]
/ JASON: Oh, hey, Sunny. You haven't worked with Franklin yet. He started last week.
/ FRANKLIN (shaking her hand): Hi.
/ SUNNY: Hello. Franklin, was it? / FRANKLIN: Yeah, Franklin Onassis.
/ SUNNY: Own-what? / FRANKLIN: Onassis.
/ JASON: You don't look Greek. / FRANKLIN: Yeah, well, you look more like a "Wang" to me, "Jason."
/ JASON: See a lot of wangs, do you? / FRANKLIN (pantomiming chalking up a point for Jason): Oooh, the Yellow Menace gets a point.
/ JASON: I'm Filipino, you frickin' Mookie. / FRANKLIN: Hey, man, don't flip out. I'm down with brown.
/ SUNNY (walking away): I've got to go pray. http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/22 |
| Multiplex #23: The Dementor's Kiss | [[Becky is standing in the back of a theater. The children in the audience look worried.]] / VOICE (from the screen): Dark and difficult times lie ahead, Harry. Soon, we must all make a choice...
/ [[Becky walks out of the theater and sees Jason, Kurt and Franklin, who is wearing black robes. Jason is smiling at Kurt.]] / BECKY: That's so weird! That's got to be THE quietest, most well-behaved bunch of kids I've ever seen.
/ JASON: Huh. / KURT: Dude, that is SO weird... / FRANKLIN: For real?
/ [[Becky suddenly looks suspicious.]] / BECKY: ...
/ BECKY (shouting): What did you do!?
/ CAPTION: Earlier... / [[Jason is lecturing a group of ten children, all with frightened looks on their faces. The Dementor is clutching Kurts neck as he rolls his eyes back and sticks his tongue out.]] / JASON: Now, remember, childrens... If you are too loud, or if you make a mess, the Dementor will eat you soul... / KURT: So... cold... http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/23 |
| Multiplex #24: Head to Head | [[Jason standing at a urinal, back to the viewer, unzipping his pants.]]
/ < http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/24 |
| Multiplex #25: What's It All About? | Jason and Kurt are watching some sort of crime movie. On screen, a bruised man is tied to a chair while a tall blonde man with sunglasses stands across from him in a black suit.
/ MAN IN CHAIR (spitting blood): Is that what this is all about? Revenge?
/ BLONDE MAN: No. / The Blonde Man holds up a gun and points it at Man In Chair.
/ BLONDE MAN: It's all about THIS.
/ Jason (turning to Kurt): You realize, you never get to pick the movie ever again. http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/25 |
| Multiplex #26: Ride 'Im, Cowboy | [[Melissa and Becky are talking in front of a Brokeback Mountain poster as Sunny approaches. A King Kong poster can also be seen.]]
/ Sunny: Hi, Becky and Melissa!
/ Melissa: We're going to watch Brokeback Mountain after our shift.
/ Becky: Want to come? / Sunny: I don't know, maybe… What's it about?
/ Melissa: It's got Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in hot man-on-man love.
/ Becky: Jake Gyllenhaal is so cute and so lonely. / [[Reverse angle. Becky and Melissa are clasping their hands to their chests, and Sunny puts her hands on her hips. Jason is walking up to the drinking fountain behind them with a broomstick in his hands, obviously listening to their conversation. A Superman Returns poster is on the opposite wall.]]
/ Melissa: I know, right? I will make you happy, Jake Gyllenhaal. I will make your puppy dog eyes light up with my love.
/ Sunny: Oh, no… I can't see that movie. Homosexuality is a sin! / [[Becky and Melissa gesture excitedly to Sunny, who puts her hand to her chin in contemplation. In the background, Jason takes a drink of water from the fountain.]]
/ Becky: But it's got Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal…
/ Melissa: …in hot man-on-man love!
/ Sunny: Hmmm… they are both really cute! / [[In the background, Jason is wiping his mouth with his hand, still listening.]]
/ Becky: So join us!
/ Sunny: No. If I've learned anything from cheerleading, it's what watching those kinds of movies leads to — / [[In the background, Jason sprays water from his mouth. Becky and Melissa's eyes go wide.]]
/ Sunny: — and, I'm sorry, but I stopped making out with all of my friends when I found the Lord. / [[Later on, Jason and Sunny are walking up to Theater 7, which is playing The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. The sign above the door has the name abbreviated to "Chronic of Narnia." A poster is also on the wall for The New World.]]
/ Caption: Later...
/ Jason: Hey, Sunny, I was reading The Book of Genesis just now, and did you know that it has two separate Creation stories that actually contradict each other?
/ Sunny: Really?
/ Jason: Really! Say, have you ever seen the movie Velvet Goldmine? http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/26 |
| Multiplex #27: Merry Christmas from Multiplex | [[Jason and Kurt are watching a Christmas movie. On screen, a black-hair, brown-eyed adult male has his arm around his black-haired, brown-eyed teenage son as they walk out of a snow-covered forest, which inexplicably has a trail of smoke rising from it.]]
/ ADULT: And that, Ben, is the TRUE meaning of Christmas -- to love each other, and to PROVE you love each other by spending more money ON each other than you can afford.
/ BEN: Gosh, dad… I never realized! I thought for sure it had something to do with Jesus Christ! / [[The credits roll as Jason and Kurt turn to talk to each other. The credits read: Directed by Allen Silverberg; Produced by Lawrence Golden and Michael Liebowitz; Written by
/ Saul Levitz and Janet Khan; From a Screen Story by Fran Cohen.]]
/ KURT: Yep… another totally antiseptic Hollywood “Christmas” movie. It’s just what I wanted!
/ JASON: I’m not even a Christian, but I still think it’s annoying how, like, almost every single Christmas movie is just empty, inauthentic, vapid, “feelgood” drivel. / [[The credits continue: Starring (in order of appearance) -- Joseph Christian--Seth Goldberg
/ Mary Christian -- Nicole Levy; Ben Christian (age 9)Adam Weinstein; Ben Christian (age 17)Jeshua Katz; Steven Christian Tom Yosef; Billy--Joseph Yehuda; Mall Shopper #1Tal Hannah; Mall Shopper #2 Heddy Gorovitz; Mall Santa Haim Stern; Father Klein--Shalom Terkl.]]
/ KURT: Right! Not even the slightest attempt to say something substantial about the holiday, or even just real life!
/ JASON: I wonder why that is…? / [[The credits continue: Katharine -- Deborah Yechezkel; Stanley -- Stan Lieber; Troublemaker -- Leopold Loeb; Arthur -- Ephrayim Greenberg; Friskers the Cat -- Dredel. Second Unit. Second Unit Director -- Yoav Ovitz; Assistant Director -- Josef Heschel; First Assistant Director -- Len Stein; Second Assistant Director -- Samuel Shimon.]]
/ KURT: Yeah… / [[The credits continue: Art Director -- Dana Friedman; Assistant Art Director -- Beth Israel; Set Decoration -- Menachem Meir; Costume Design -- Micah Shroit; Makeup Artist -- Yigal Aronson; Makeup Designer -- Ben Eshkol; Hair Designer -- Jakob Peretz; Production Manager -- Elijah Rubin; Unit Production Manager -- Nissa Risenfeld; Catering by Karl’s Kosher Deli.]]
/ JASON: Hm. http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/27 |
| Multiplex #28: To the Extreme | [[Whitey walks into a theater to help Franklin clean it.]]
/ WHITEY: 'Eeeeey, Franklin, ma nigga. WHAZAAAA?
/ FRANKLIN: Don't call me "nigga," Whitey. / WHITEY: Don't call ME Whitey, nigga.
/ FRANKLIN: Your NAME is WHITEY. And quit actin' like you're GHETTO. You live in a gated community! / WHITEY: I go by "Dub," God dammit.
/ FRANKLIN: To WHO?! / WHITEY: You're just jealous 'cause I'm blacker'n you, CARLTON!
/ FRANKLIN (mumbling): Man, I should NOT have to put up with this shit... / WHITEY (crying): O-R-E-O! / [[At the manager's station, Melissa is sitting at the computer reading Joe Loves Crappy Movies at Digital Pimp.]]
/ FRANKLIN (pointing at a piece of paper): Hey, Meliss. Could you dial THIS number and read THIS?
/ MELISSA: Uh... sure. Okay. / MELISSA (on phone): "Hello, is this SBC Cable? This is Amanda Willis. I'm calling because I'd like to cancel my son Whitey's BET subscription..." http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/28 |
| Multiplex #28: To the Extreme | [[Whitey walks into a theater to help Franklin clean it.]]
/ WHITEY: 'Eeeeey, Franklin, ma nigga. WHAZAAAA?
/ FRANKLIN: Don't call me "nigga," Whitey. / WHITEY: Don't call ME Whitey, nigga.
/ FRANKLIN: Your NAME is WHITEY. And quit actin' like you're GHETTO. You live in a gated community! / WHITEY: I go by "Dub," God dammit.
/ FRANKLIN: To WHO?! / WHITEY: You're just jealous 'cause I'm blacker'n you, CARLTON!
/ FRANKLIN (mumbling): Man, I should NOT have to put up with this shit... / WHITEY (crying): O-R-E-O! / [[At the manager's station, Melissa is sitting at the computer reading Joe Loves Crappy Movies at Digital Pimp.]]
/ FRANKLIN (pointing at a piece of paper): Hey, Meliss. Could you dial THIS number and read THIS?
/ MELISSA: Uh... sure. Okay. / MELISSA (on phone): "Hello, is this SBC Cable? This is Amanda Willis. I'm calling because I'd like to cancel my son Whitey's BET subscription..." http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/28 |
| Multiplex #29: And the Winner Is... | [[A group of customers are watching the unnamed Christmas movie from Multiplex #27. It is currently showing Joe Christian, a character from the movie, being interviewed on FOX News. One brown-haired customer looks perplexed.]] / [[The brown-haired customer, Rob, stands up. We see that his t-shirt reads "Maybe?" In the back of the theater, Franklin is talking into the radio.]]
/ FRANKLIN (quietly talking into radio): Racer Asylum, sound's fine in 6. Do you copy?
/ MELISSA (from radio): Copy that, Black Panther. Over and out. / [[Rob approaches Franklin, confused.]]
/ ROB (whispering): I think something's wrong with the movie. All of a sudden it's FOX News.
/ FRANKLIN: Well, see, sir, it's actually PART of the movie... / FRANKLIN (whispering): It's true that often FOX News is almost totally indiscernable from outright fiction, but you see how the newscast is discussing the plot of the movie?
/ ROB (whispering): I'm not sure I'm following you just yet... / FRANKLIN (whispering): See? Right now, the characters are giving us a recap of the last fifteen or twenty minutes.
/ ROB (whispering): Hmmm... I must've forgotten that part... / FRANKLIN (whispering): You got it now?
/ ROB: OH... it's PART of the movie! / ROB: I guess you don't need to change the channel back, then?
/ FRANKLIN: No, sir. / [[In the lobby, the staff is having an awards ceremony, with Melissa announcing the winner. Franklin displays his medal proudly as Jason and Becky stand to his side. Becky looks disappointed, which Jason looks angry.]]
/ MELISSA: And the Stupidest Question of 2005 Award goes to -- a last-minute entry -- "All of a Sudden It's FOX News"!
/ FRANKLIN (waving): Thank you. Thank you.JASON: I protest! TECHNICALLY, that isn't even a question, so my "How Much Them Free Refills Is?" should have won! http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/29 |
| Multiplex #30: For Your Consideration | [[Kurt is sitting at the computer at the manager's station. Jason is standing behind him, reading over his shoulder. Movie posters on the wall include The Libertine, Brokeback Mountain, and The Lost World.]]
/ Jason: "311 Feature Films Vie for 2005 Oscar." That's impressive.
/ Kurt: Is it? / [[Reverse angle. On the wall is a calendar open to January and a poster for Superman Returns.]]
/ Kurt: Were there that many decent movies, or were there that few GREAT movies? http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/30 |
| Multiplex #30: For Your Consideration | [[Kurt is sitting at the computer at the manager's station. Jason is standing behind him, reading over his shoulder. Movie posters on the wall include The Libertine, Brokeback Mountain, and The Lost World.]]
/ Jason: "311 Feature Films Vie for 2005 Oscar." That's impressive.
/ Kurt: Is it? / [[Reverse angle. On the wall is a calendar open to January and a poster for Superman Returns.]]
/ Kurt: Were there that many decent movies, or were there that few GREAT movies? http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/30 |
| Multiplex #30: For Your Consideration | [[Kurt is sitting at the computer at the manager's station. Jason is standing behind him, reading over his shoulder. Movie posters on the wall include The Libertine, Brokeback Mountain, and The Lost World.]]
/ Jason: "311 Feature Films Vie for 2005 Oscar." That's impressive.
/ Kurt: Is it? / [[Reverse angle. On the wall is a calendar open to January and a poster for Superman Returns.]]
/ Kurt: Were there that many decent movies, or were there that few GREAT movies? http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/30 |
| Multiplex #31: I Love You, Meiling Melançon | [[Jason and Kurt are talking at the manager's station while Kurt surfs the internet.]]
/ Kurt: Hey, did you tell me you weren't interested in seeing X-Men 3?
/ Jason: Yeah, the trailer was weak. / Kurt: This chick is going to play Psylocke. She's Filipino. And she's hot.
/ Jason: Fool! ALL Filipinas are beautiful. / [[Jason looks at computer screen.]] / [[Jason continues to stare at the screen, looking hot and bothered.]]
/ Jason: X-MEN 3 IS THE MUST-SEE MOVIE OF THE YEAR! http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/31 |
| Multiplex #31: I Love You, Meiling Melançon | [[Jason and Kurt are talking at the manager's station while Kurt surfs the internet.]]
/ Kurt: Hey, did you tell me you weren't interested in seeing X-Men 3?
/ Jason: Yeah, the trailer was weak. / Kurt: This chick is going to play Psylocke. She's Filipino. And she's hot.
/ Jason: Fool! ALL Filipinas are beautiful. / [[Jason looks at computer screen.]] / [[Jason continues to stare at the screen, looking hot and bothered.]]
/ Jason: X-MEN 3 IS THE MUST-SEE MOVIE OF THE YEAR! http://multiplexcomic.com/strip/31 |