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|one (hit)||BOOKS - DRUGS / Man2: Excuse me... / Man2:I wonder if you could spare some change, sir? / Man1:w..sorry..I...|
|two (complaints)||Amberlies RETAIL TOWN - COMPLAINTS / Man1:Excuse me... / Man1:Excuse me, is this the complaints department? / Len82 Complaints: PISS OFF|
|seasonal greetings||SEASONAL GREETINGS / TOYS FOR CHILDREN WITH WEALTHY PARENTS|
|Santa's other job||[[Message in large bold lettering:]] / HAPPY NEW YEAR / [[A fat, miserable 'Santa' holds forth a sack which bears the legend:]] / DEPARTMENT OF REFUSE COLLECTION|
|three (fill this out)||Man 1: If this is the complaints department then I'd like to make a complaint... / Man 1: I was assaulted by one of the other customers in the retail town. / Man 1: Excuse me... / / Len82 Complaints: Take this. Fill it out. / Len82 Complaints: Now PISS OFF.|
|four (solution 44)||Amberlies Retail Town / Complaining for denizens / For each question select one box only / Is this your first complaint? / Yes, I have always found my Amberlies Retail Experience to be otherwise unproblematic / (Go to Q3) / No / (Got to Q2) / Q2 Aproximately how many times have you complained to Amberlies Retail Town before? / 1-5 times / (Go to solution 70) / Q3 What aspect of the Amberlies Retail Town Experience has not met your expectations? / Retail outlet issues / (Go to Section 2, Q1) / Amberlies Retail Town staff issues / (Go to Section 3, Q1) / Environment issues / (Go to Section 4, Q1) / Retail Town denizen issues / (Go to Section 5, Q1) / All other issues / or toxic chemicals that burn on contact with skin / (Go to Solution 139) / Section 5 / Q1 Which of the following best describes the nature of your problem? / Theft of Goods / (Go to Q2) / Offensive appearance or odour / (Go to Q3) / Conflict / (Go to Q4) / All other issues / (Go to Solution 97) / "A mixture of shit and piss" / (Go to solution 365) / Q4 Select the nature of the conflict / Verbal assault by the other party - provoked / (Go to Solution 23) / Verbal assault by the other party - unprovoked / (Go to Solution 28) / Physical assault by the other party - provoked / (Go to Solution 31) / Physical assault by the other party - unprovoked / (Go to Solution 44) / cares about you or your ridiculous ambition. Why not end it all now? / Solution 44 / Are you sure that you did nothing to provoke a conflict with another individual? You may not realise it, but something of your manner may have given the other party the impression that you wished them harm and they probably reacted with a (rightful) response, which is to protect themselves by any means necessary. Put yourself in their position. / You should avoid any contact with any other denizen of our Retail Town, respecting the personal space of others. If this solution is satisfactory take no further action. / If you are interested in attending an educational course expanding uopon the issues reasied in this solution select this box. / If this solution is not to your satisfaction, select this box. Mail this document, together with a processing fee of €50 to Amberlies Retail...|
|five (mail)||[a hand holding a document. attached to the document with a paper clip is some paper currency labelled '50'] / 50 / Amberlies Retail Town / Complaining for denizens / [a pair of hands inserting the document into an addressed envelope] / [an unseen person inserts the envelope into a mailbox] / MAIL / [a pair of hands removing the document from the opened envelope] / [an emty waste bin] / Amerlies Retail Town Recycling Facility / [the document in the waste bin, the currency is gone]|
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