You're browsing the archives of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I say do what you feel like! This isn't the time for tunnel vision! Figure out what you want right now and do it!" / Caption: Note to self: In future, don't schedule graduation and AA speeches on same day. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=933#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "You shot my dog!"
/ Man #2: "You can't prove that! It's only a THEORY." / Caption: My revenge on the creationists may have gone too far. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=934#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Let go! I need it! I can't even see anymore!" / Caption: Man, insulin withdrawal is HORRIBLE! http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=935#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "The afterlife! Oh, it's more beautiful that I - OW! That's so weird. I've stubbed my toe every 42 seconds since I got here." / Caption: It takes about six hours to realize that you're in Hell. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=936#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "Son, you'll be a man soon and it's time you learn to shave. But, since you don't yet have facial hair, I've come up with an alternative." / Caption: [ A note that reads, "Dear Lynette, Hope your vacation with the new husband is going well. The kids seem to love his dog. -Don ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=937#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Spiderman: "Sure, but can he do THIS?" / Caption: Spiderman converted a lot of kids from Jesus. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=938#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: You can always tell when the library employees are unhappy / [ Sign that reads "Our Staff Recommends" points to a shelf that says, "You go fu** yourselves." ] / Caption (in small print): "We also like Harry Potter." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=939#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Conversation Strategy:
/ Make people uncomfortable using the occasional yummy noise / Doctor: "We ran some test on your wife's...mmmm...uterus." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=940#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Better parenting through SCIENCE / Dad: "Son, guess what I got you for your 13th birthday?!"
/ Son: "*sigh* Is it the same thing I get every-"
/ Dad: "Box of electrons!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=941#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Fortune cookies are boring
/ How about something different? / [ Fortune that reads, "there is no antidote" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=942#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mom: "Billy, what you saw in their was (at many points) perfectly natural. It's something that (a percentage of) mommies and daddies do to express (in some cases) how much they love each other." / Caption: I wish they would've removed the leather masks before giving me "the talk." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=943#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I've just come from the future! We have to have sex tonight or all is lost!" / Caption: Of course I was suspicious, but then his Time Patrol badge DID glow in the dark. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=944#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "How's he doing this?! How's he doing this?! Hahahahahahaha!" / Caption: Really should've checked in the mirror after using that invisibility potion. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=945#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "W-where-"
/ Woman: "Ted! You're awake! You've been in a coma for twenty years - I never left your side for a moment!"
/ Man: "You must be REALLY boring." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=946#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "Guess what, son! For economic reasons, we've merged all your favorite holidays into one super-amazing holiday!"
/ Son: "When is it?!"
/ Dad: "Tomorrow!" / Header: Soon... / Son: "What did you get me Easter-Santa-Fairy?!"
/ Easter-Santa-Fairy: "Nothing!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=947#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "And for just $50 more, nobody will dig up your mother's corpse and make it dance like a marionette!" / Caption: They're good hagglers at the car dealership. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=948#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Boy: "Father! I just threw up. And...it wasn't Jesus!" / Caption: The Eucharist got off to a bad start. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=949#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "Doctor Matson!" / Doctor: "We've discovered a cure!" / Doctor: "Come to room 142!" / [ A bucket of water is ready to fall on Doctor Matson when he enters the room ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=950#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "'Not guilty,' or POW!" / Caption: I chose to represent myself at the intimidation trial. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=951#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Women sit around a campfire with men's heads on pikes and a man roasting on a spit ] / Caption: [ Timeline of "All of History" with it ending at "artificial sperm created" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=952#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A nun boxes a dog ] / Caption: When God was mathematically disproven in 2054, the Vatican was forced to find a new source of income. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=953#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "And when I saw her from across the ballroom, with her beautiful blue eyes, I said to myself, "someday, you're gonna marry that girl." / Caption: Kevin and Sonia celebrate their 25th year of awkward non-sexual friendship. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=954#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Parenting Strategy:
/ Always put a good spin on things / Dad: "It's a good thing your dog ran away. He HATED you!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=955#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man (singing): "Not wearin' pants 'cause productivity's down! Not gon' wear pants till productivity's up!" / Caption: One of my finest managerial moves was recruiting that singing homeless guy. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=956#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I guess my self-loathing comes from my mom never showing any affection for me."
/ Therapist: "Well, Mr. Gellert - wait, does your mother happen to be Roberta Gellert? From New Braunfels, Texas?"
/ Man: "Y - yeah..."
/ Therapist: "Oh my God! She used to babysit me! Her cookies were amazing!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=957#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A woman stares at a shelf with "Pure Infant Meal - Made from free range Montana infants" and "Hippie Joe's 100% Organic Infant Meal - 'Like mama used to make.'" ] / Caption: It's getting harder and harder to be an ethical consumer. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=958#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "No! There's no time for CPR! We'll have to inject the air directly into his veins!" / Caption: Upon closer scrutiny, it turns out I'm not actually a doctor. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=959#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | God: "Sacrifice your son to me, Abraham!" / Header: Later... / God: "STOP! You, uh, you showed your faith...no need to kill your son." / Abraham: "Truly you are a merciful lord!"
/ God: "Right...yeah..." / Header: Elsewhere...
/ God: "Sacrifice your son to me!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=960#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "What do you feel you would bring to this company?"
/ Man: "Quiet brooding desperation!" / Caption: I could immediately sense he's done office work before. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=961#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Bad Combination:
/ Pick-up line + Honesty / Man: "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you please date me because I'm so lonely and desperate?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=962#comic |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 >>