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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "W-we recommend removing the railroad spike from your brain."
/ Man: "Ah, so you favor a surgical approach as well." / Caption: For serious medical conditions, it's always good to get a second opinion. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=963#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Worst thing I ever did? Wow, well...*giggle*...once, when I was little, I stole a package of Honeybuns from a gas station! Ha! I never told anybody that! How about you?"
/ Man: "Oh...nothing, nothing." / Caption: After the war, Hitler had a tough time with dates. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=964#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Man rigs a noose ] / [ Man writes a note that reads, "to cool to live!" ] / [ Man leaps in a cool pose with the noose around his neck. ] / [ Man hangs dead from the noose, but there is toilet paper hanging from one of his shoes. ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=965#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Hey, kids! Anyone feeling down in the dumps?!" / Caption: Every morning at 9 o'clock, the suicide man came to our neighborhood. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=966#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A man stands at a woman's door, holding three vicious dogs. ] / Caption: "The good news is, we managed to find your missing kitten." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=967#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Honey! I'm pregnant!"
/ Man: "That...that's the second worst news I've ever gotten." / Header: Ten months ago... / Doctor: "We, uh, we accidentally castrated you." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=968#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Marriage Tactics:
/ Destroy your spouse with unfair romantic questions / Woman: "Would you find me more attractive if I were more attractive?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=969#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Requiring truth in advertising was a bad idea / Man: "Kids, certain drugs are NOT COOL." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=970#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: "Since the invention of emotional quantification there have been awards for those who can generate the purest feelings" / [ A man stands with a device on his head that registers "99.47% ennui." ] / Header: "I've been working to become a professional. Months reading alone. I haven't spoken in... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=971#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mom: "Kids, I want you to know that mommy and daddy still love each other. It's just a different kind of love." / [ Mom holds dad's severed head in her hand. ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=972#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "You just killed my cat!"
/ Man #2: "Or DID I?!" / Caption: I was later informed that I hadn't completely understood that lecture on Schrodinger. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=973#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Marketing Strategy:
/ Implicate the competition with unique guarantees / [ A man stares at a shelf of jellies. The first says, "0% fat," the second, "0% cholesterol," and the third, "0% skin from a dead hobo's mouth!" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=974#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "Do you think he knows it's mine?*" / Caption: * Translated from Pig-Lain. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=975#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A stone in front of a castle reads, "ye last sample of smallpox." ] / Caption: King Arthur often wondered why they put the sword in the stone. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=976#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Comic Book Showdowns!
/ Superman vs. Batman / [ Superman easily pulls Batman's head off. ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=977#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "You don't like my edit, do you?" / Caption: Frankly, I didn't think he should've filmed mom's funeral in the first place. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=978#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A man writes a note that reads, "Notes: she was REALLY hot." ] / Caption: Don't represent yourself at that sexual harassment trial. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=979#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A boy looks into space. ] / [ He continues to stare. ] / Boy: "Someday..." / Header: Half an hour ago... / [ Boy reads "Space Harlots IV." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=980#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "I don't care how "spooky" it is! No kid wants to eat a cereal with bread-flavored marshmallows!"
/ Man #2: "Fine! Whatever!" / Caption: [ A box of cereal with a creepy looking man on it is called "Sexual Breadator!" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=981#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Son: "Only $5 for lunch!?"
/ Dad: "Hey! Right now there are starving Estonian boys who would KILL for that $5!" / Son: "There are not!"
/ Dad: "Oh REALLY?! You wanna go to the computer room and find out?!" / Son: "Okay, okay! I'll take it. Thanks, Dad." / Dad: "Sorry boys, not today." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=982#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Shakespeare: "Dammit! Nothing rhymes with 'doin' you.'" / Caption: Shakespeare eventually gave up on sonnets. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=983#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Alien #1: "It's not my fault then humans are dead!"
/ Alien #2: "What do humans like to breathe?"
/ Alien #1: "Oxygen!"
/ Alien #2: "Is that what you gave them?"
/ Alien #1: "Ye...oh." / Alien #1: "Right."
/ [ Humans are dead in a room filled with Death Gas. ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=984#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Question:
/ What don't you want to hear from a babysitter soaking in your children's blood? / Header: Answer: / Boy: "Whoops!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=985#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Meanwhile...
/ Superman fails to kick his cocaine habit / Man: "And we present you this key to the city. If there's ever anything you need -"
/ Superman: "FIFTY BUCKS!"
/ Man: "Fifty b-"
/ Superman: "NOW!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=986#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Grinch: "Christmas came without ribbons! Christmas came without tags! This is f*****g ridiculous!" / Caption: During a payment dispute, Dr. Seuss went through a brief but fruitful non-rhyming phase. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=987#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Noah: "Geez...only two of each kind? Boy, I hope that doesn't result in any genetic problems. / [ An ugly chihuahua is dressed in a pink sweater. ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=988#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Teacher: "The phallic shape of rockets clearly belies a scientific bias toward male sexuality!"
/ Woman: "That's ridiculous! The Society of Women Engineers spent years developing a vulva-shaped rocket, and we never got anywhere!" / Caption: SWE Rocketry, Week 27
/ Research Notes:
/ The men keep stealing... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=989#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I am a scientist, not a philosopher! I do experiments to uncover FACTS, not to value-judge them! Put me away if you want, but my truth will speak louder than ever!" / Caption: [ A lab reads "Abstract: Baby hearts are delicious." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=990#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "How is this Hell? It's exactly like my office job from before I died."
/ Satan: "Oh? I take it you haven't seen...YOUR NEW SHIFT?!"
/ [ Satan holds up a sign that reads, "Todd: 9:00 - 5:00 PLUS TWENTY MINUTES!" ] / Caption: Todd: "NOOOOOOOO!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=991#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Old Man: "And another thing! No more human anatomy classes for teenagers! We didn't have any when I was a kid, and I know EXACTLY where my uteruses are!" / Caption: Can't we have just one PTA meeting where Mr. Sanders doesn't pull out The Jar? http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=992#comic |
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