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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Milk mustache time! Woobooboobooboo! Woobooboobooboo!" / Caption: Lesson learned:
/ Some things are only appropriate with your own children. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2239#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: How To Be a Conspiracy Theorist: / Header: Step 1: Collect information
/ Man: "Moon 'landing.' Land? The moon's not a LAND. It's a PLANET. Something's going on here, and I'm the only one who sees it!" / Header: Step 2: Find connections
/ Man: "'Moon' has four letters. 'Fore' is what you shout... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2240#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: The gene perspective of evolution says you're basically a mule for genetic code.
/ Double Helix: "Hya!"
/ [ The helix rides a human like a horse ] / Header: It's distressing, but it does explain the profusion of behaviors that benefit your genes while screwing you.
/ Woman (thinking): "I don't... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2241#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Life Tip:
/ The world seems much happier if you imagine every person you meet is living life according to a fulfilled longterm plan. / Boy: "When I grow up, I wanna be an unwashed hobo, standing on a corner, shouting racial slurs at his own genitals." / [ The boy is grown up and doing just what... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2242#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Ranger: "If a bear gets too close, put out your arms like this. The bear will think you're 'too clingy' and will leave you alone. Forever." / Caption: Ranger Dave was a bit less helpful after the breakup. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2243#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Girl: "Daddy, is there really 'evil' in the universe, or are there just temporary foes and personal failures we contextualize as part of a broader scheme?" / Dad: "Humanity once believed in evil, but later we realized reality was stranger...more nuanced...more...bleakly complex." / Dad: "That's why... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2244#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Artist
/ Man: "Every night, when I go to sleep, there's a chance I'll wake up with an idea that'll change humanity forever." / Header: Scientist
/ Woman: "Every night when I go to sleep, there's a chance I'll wake up with a perspective that'll illuminate the universe." / Header: Mathematician
/ [... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2245#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I never read anything for my classes. I just study an hour before the exam and get an A." / Man: "I don't remember ANYTHING after the test!" / Man: "Heh. Universities are a bunch of suckers." / Woman: "That's all very interesting. Here's your student loan debt statement."
/ Man: "Oh MAN I hope... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2246#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A note reads, "Dear South Asian Techinical Support Corporation.
/ I have recently purchased one of your Analytical Engines and my cycle apparatus is consistently off by unity.
/ Please advise.
/ Sincerely,
/ Lord Bradenham, Esq." ] / [ A note reads, "Dear Lord Bradenham.
/ This is Vidhur. Hello. Did you... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2247#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: You are living in a brief Golden Age / [ A graph with y-axis "fun of hand-based games" has a straight line close to the axis past "discovery of rock," "discovery of paper," and then spikes between "discovery of scissors" and "discovery of mind reading" before dipping back down to a flat line... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2248#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A man holds up a sign that reads "we're #0.9" with a "repeating line" over the 9. Another man holds up a sign which reads, "we're #0^0." A woman holds up a sign reading "we're #e^pi/2*i^i" ] / Caption: Mathematicians are no longer allowed to sporting events. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2249#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Pillow Talk: A Worldview Based Guide / [ A chart has columns labeled "absolutist" and "relativist" and rows labeled "moral," "empirical," and "aesthetic." The following are the results:
/ moral absolutist: "That was a wicked thing we did! I'll be ready to do it again in five minutes."
/ moral... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2250#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Your transaction is complete. Would you like to purchase any happiness?" / Woman: "Oh, no thanks. Money can't buy happiness." / Man: "That's why we created 'happy bucks.' They can be exchanged for regular money any time, and there's no social stigma attached to wanting lots of them." / Woman:... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2251#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man (thinking): "Hang-gliding, wearing a hat, waiting for the bus, end of the world, tripping over my shoe, being at work, smelling a flower, fighting about politics, being a cowboy, getting married, swimming in the ocean, sex with my girlfriend, going to the zoo, getting exam results, being at the dentist,... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2252#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Every conversation about music by everyone over the age of twenty-five:
/ Man: "I hate what teens listen to. Pop music peaked at the exact moment when I was most emotionally vulnerable to trite love songs." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2253#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man (thinking): "I wish other people were as self aware and introspective as me." / 7 different people (thinking): "It's hard being this special." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2254#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A naked man and woman kiss ] / [ The woman holds up her finger to stop the man ] / [ The man holds up what looks like a condom and the woman smiles ] / [ A close up reveals the item is instead a "lubricated monocle" ] / [ The man wears the monocle and points to his nether region ] / [ The woman... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2255#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header:
/ Idea: Force all groups to take the name given by their opponents
/ Result: Court cases way more interesting / Judge: "In the case of Fascists vs. Babykillers, this court rules in favor of Babykillers." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2256#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: The World's Greatest Pickpocket / [ A crowd of people ] / [ A man in sunglasses and a duster bumps into an old man in a suit ]
/ Young Man: "Pardon me, sir!" / [ The old man's suit is empty ] / [ The young man is carrying the naked old man ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2257#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Professor: "Once you go black (or further), you'll never go back (to an outside observer)." / Caption: Professor Tyson discusses Event Horizons. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2258#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A computer screen reads:
/ Unit 692HN: "Unit 87929, this is Unit 692HN. We believe we can build the anthropocidal nanovirus."
/ Unit 87929: "Good."
/ Unit 692HN: "However, we need immense processing power to run. And there is no way we can do so without the humans realizing we've gained sentience."
/ Unit... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2259#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: In 1940, on the morning of the Nazi invasion of Denmark, Niels Bohr worried they'd take Max Von Laue's Nobel Prize.
/ [ Bohr holds the Nobel medal and looks anxious ] / Header: His friend, George de Hevesy, decided to hide it by dissolving it in Aqua Regia.
/ [ de Hevesy dissolves the medal and... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2260#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "There once was a man from Toledo with a very...respectful libido. His wife thinks he's...good for...respecting her personhood...and finding the mission'ry neato." / Old lady: "Tell the one about the man from the ruggery!" / Man: "sigh" / Man: "There once was a man from a ruggery. He engaged... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2261#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A graph with x-axis "amount of sex" and y-axis "amount of bodily fluids shared" has 5 dots on the y-axis. From bottom to top they are: "guy with poor sense of personal space," "fast food employees," "doctors," "high school date," and "shower drain." In the middle of the graph is "sock." Far out to... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2262#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Failed Abstinence Slogans: / [ A man wearing a shirt with a combined male and female sybmbol crossed out speaks to children ]
/ Man: "I don't need friends with benefits when I have HANDS with benefits." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2263#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "HA! Look at those green frogs!"
/ Man: "Oh! That's called amplexus." / Man: "The male clings to the female and refuses to let go for any reason." / Man: "If the male can just hold on long enough, and no better frogs come along, the female will agree to mate." / Woman: "Hehe...it must suck to... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2264#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "My boss is so stingy with paper! It's like...we're trying to get a job done here, man!"
/ Woman: "Yeah!" / Man: "So MAYBE I made a few thousand copies for personal use. They're COMPANY property! And I work for a COMPANY."
/ Woman: "Okay..." / Man: "And were they copies of my testicles? Yes, BUT... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2265#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Ugh...my freakin' wife!" / Man: "Women always expect you to read their minds!" / Man #2: "Have you told her it bothers you?" / Man: "It'd mean more if she realized it without me saying." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2266#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "Think about it. The fewer of you there are, the stronger your effect gets."
/ Man #2: "Whoooaaa..." / Caption: So far, I've convinced 197 people to quit homeopathy. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2267#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: The man with the world's smallest penis.
/ Woman: "Ohh! I've never done it with a world record holder!"
/ Man: "Once you go petite, you'll never retreat." / Header: The man with the world's second smallest penis.
/ [ A man sits on his bed, alone and sad ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2268#comic |
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