You're browsing the archives of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Lawyer: Now, I admit, the prosecution makes a fine case. There's the newly-purchased life insurance policy, the fingerprints on her neck, the written plans to kill her...yes, it all seems to be in order, doesn't it? / All except for one thing. / Caption: "Free tickets to Sea World!"
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=331
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman/Wife: Honey! We're pregnant! / Man/Husband: Oh come on! He doesn't look anything like me! / Oh... heh, sorry... Jumping the gun a little there I guess, huh? / Right? / wooh... / Yeah... / So, what's for dinner?
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=332
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man/Husband: HONEY, I DON'T CARE HOW LONG THIS LABOR TAKES. I WILL NOT LEAVE YOUR SIDE. / Caption: If this moment seems sweet to you, it's only because you haven't yet noticed the Gameboy in Todd's right hand.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=333
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Phil: More drawings of baby knife-fights?! What the hell am I supposed to do with these?! / Caption: My tenure at Ladies Home Journal was a short one.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=334
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Boy: BUT MOM! IT'S ONLY SATURDAY! CAN'T I DO MY HOMEWORK TOMORROW?! / Caption: In case you're wondering, that key goes to the time machine.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=335
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman/Wife: SWEETIE, I KNOW YOU LOVE IT, BUT WITH THE BABY ON THE WAY, I JUST DON'T THINK WE CAN AFFORD TO KEEP PAYING EVERY MONTH. / Man/Husband: I SUPPOSE I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME... / Caption: I guess I never realized what a commitment marriage was until Suzanne asked me to stop running over the...
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=336
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: MY COFFEE TASTES LIKE POISON. / Man: WEEEIRD MY COFFEE TASTES JUST LIKE ANTIDOTE... / Caption:I was fortunate enough to be able to settle my custody battle out of court.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=337
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Little Girl: Daddy, I'm afraid of the dark... / Father: Oh honey, that's just silly.The darkness isn't what's going to kill you...
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=338
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal I guess I think what's driving us apart is different interests. Ray just doesn't care about my scrapbooking, or my chrocheting, or anything! / And you, Raymond? What do you think is causing this rift? / B-Cups. / B-cups is the name of Ray's mistress.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=339
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Little Girl: Wow! I thought drinking rubbing alcohol would make you go blind... / Clark Kent/Superman: Only if you mean blind with FLAVOR! / Caption: Clark Kent was a precocious lad.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=340
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Doctor: Congratulations! It's a boy! / Man: What?! You said you were getting an eye exam! / Woman: TEEHEE! / On the plus side, the last forty -seven hours suddenly made a whole lot more sense
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=341
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: OH THANK GOD! YOU SAVED MY LIFE! / Batman: ALL IN A DAY'S WORK MA'AM / Woman: IS...IS THAT.... ARE YOU- ? / Batman: YES MA'AM I AM. / Caption: Super sexual harassment is one of America's least reported crimes.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=342
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Susan: Sure is cold out tonight... / Man: Oh! I'm so sorry! Where are my manners? / Caption: We talked and cuddled long into the nigh tuntil eventually the glowing warmth of the immolated hobo began to die down. / "Yes, Susan" I told myself, "it's time to love again."
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=343
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Priest: OUT SATAN! / I CAST YOU OUT! / Caption: Tip for seminary students #1: / Always double check the address / before performing an exorcism
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=344
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Adam: "Hmmmm..." / [ A snake watches as Adam and Eve come up to the Tree of Knowledge with a sign that reads "do not eat," but the he has changed it to Treep of Sknowledge and added a sign reading "if you're a jerk!" under the previous one ] / Snake: "Gooood...goooood..." / Caption: The devil's cunning...
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=345
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: Back to sexually harass me some more, eh? Well you know what you can do? You can kiss my ass! / Caption: Note to self: Choose your words more carefully when yelling at Ass-Grabbin' Frank.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=346
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: No, son. Women and Children first. / Caption: In order to outrun the pirates, we were forced to jettison some ballast.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=347
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Todd: Alright, fine. I guess I just thought you were a commitment person. / Caption: Todd agrees to wear a condom.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=348
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Bobby: I don't like chocolate pudding. / Little girl: Mrs. Shelton! Bobby's being a racist!
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=349
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Lawyer: No you're drunk! / Caption: Somehow, this strategy had seemed more reasonable when we'd discussed it back at the firm.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=350
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal King Solomon: Since I cannot determine the true mother, I shall cut the baby in two, and give each mother half. / Mother 1: That's fine! / Mother 2: No! don't! / King Solomon: Aha! clearly you are the true mother. / Caption: "You may have the bigger half."
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=351
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Superman: And so, I will fly around the earth at incredible speed, thereby reversing its sping, and sending us all back in time to before the catastophe ever occurred. / President: God speed, superman. God speed. / Caption: If you were still alive, you'd probably wish superman had paid more attention...
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=352
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: Your reign is at an end, cyborgs! / Caption: They uh... they don't let me speak at the disability conference any more
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=353
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man/Father: Don't ever be like me, son. I've known depths you can't begin to fathom. / Caption: Dad was never truly able to kick his habit of squirting heroin on the cat.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=354
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Todd: Oh Come ON. She didn't even enjoy it. / Caption: Todd explains why it wasn't cheating.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=355
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Boy: HEY SUSIE! WANNA SEE WHAT I ATE FOR LUNCH?! / Susie:EWW! GROSS! / Boy: GHACK / AGKK / BLEHHHHH!!! / Note: / -sandwich / -carrot sticks / -Juice!
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=356
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: NOW HONEY, BEFORE YOU OPEN IT, REMEMBER THAT IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS / Inside of box: HATRED
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=357
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Father: CHILDREN! IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO GO TO... THE CHAMBER OF HORRORS! / Caption: It was mom's turn to have custody.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=358
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Job Interviewer: Thank you for the interview, Mr. Johnson, but you aren't really what we're looking for. / Mr. Johnson: That's alright. Here, please take my card. / Card: / YOU SUCK / (you fat ugly bastard) / Caption: "Oh jeez. I'm sorry. That's supposed to be Lou Suck."
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=359
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: Oh...Wait...Is this Hell? / St. Peter: No, No This is Heaven. Hell is down in the center of the Earth. / Man: Ohh...My Mistske. Thanks a lot! / St. Peter: Hey, no problem. You have a good one.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=360
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 >>