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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Woah woah woah! I haven't mentioned your face all night!" / Header: Moments prior...
/ Woman: "You're just not very sensitive." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=723#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC for Kids!
/ Episode One
/ Don't Give in to Peer Pressure! / Boy #1: "Billy...it'd be really REALLY COOL if you'd give back my asthma medication."
/ Boy #2: "Never!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=724#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Hey, can I get a ride? I heard you have an extra seat." / Caption: In my defense, I thought someone had already informed Mr. Saunders of his wife's passing. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=725#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Todd, I want a baby!"
/ Man: "But honey we can't-"
/ Woman: "Please? Please?!"
/ Man: "Alright! Alright! Fine!" / Caption: Reluctantly, I went to get my ski mask and shotgun. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=726#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Policeman: "Or as I call them, 'nature's kevlar.'" / Caption: Chief Bellamy gave his usual speech on the importance of new recruits. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=727#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "So, do you think post-structuralism is a valid mode of literary interpretation?"
/ Woman: "Well..." / Caption: One of the skills I've found to be very useful in life is vomiting on command. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=728#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Scientist: "So far, our strategy of making gay men sleep with several attractive women at once has turned 100% of them heterosexual." / Caption: [ A piece of paper has two columns - "Control Group - Someone else" and "Experimental Group - Me." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=729#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Jesus: "Okay, but if it were unfrozen, I could still walk on it."
/ Man #1: "Well, at least turn it into wine."
/ Jesus: "I can't, okay? It has to be liquid water."
/ Man #2: "Screw this. We're gonna go worship Zoroaster."
/ Jesus: "Wait! Watch! I'll float up toward Heaven!" / Caption: At this point, Jesus... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=730#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Today we break from SMBC for a brief word from our sponsors: / Woman: "Honey! Are you tired of using an old-fashioned low-powered vacuum to clean the carpets?"
/ Man: "I sure am!"
/ Woman: "Well, now you don't have to!" / Caption: [ A book titled "Living in Filth: A Guide" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=731#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Twenty four hours to live?!"
/ Doctor: "Yes. There are five stages of death. The first is getting a haircut! Seriously, you look like an asshole!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=732#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Jesus: "I can turn water into wine, lady! Okay?! Saliva - 99% WATER." / Caption: Jesus is now banned from our AA group therapy sessions. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=733#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor #1: "Wait...was this liver on the inside or outside when we started?"
/ Doctor #2: "Eesh...anybody got a coin?" / Header: Subsequently...
/ Man: "My wife died of what?!" / Doctor #2: "Tails." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=734#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I'm sorry...I...I...just thought this would cheer you up now that Spot has...passed on." / Caption: Maybe she would've been happier if she hadn't just watched me kill Spot. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=735#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC Presents:
/ Dating Tactics: Episode One
/ "Always Have Something to Add to the Conversation." / Woman: "Man, that movie was awful!"
/ Man: "You know what else is awful? CAT IN A BLENDER." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=736#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | St. Peter: "Wait a minute, this bear tastes alive?"
/ Man: "Hey, I was right, wasn't I?" / Caption: In the afterlife, you are judged by your last words. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=737#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "God's blessings, sir."
/ Jesus: "Oh. Wow...great. Thanks a LOT. "God's blessings." Yeah, those are real hard to get." / Caption: Nobody hates giving to the poor more than Jesus. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=738#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC Presents:
/ The Adventures of BULLETPROOF MAN! / [ A criminal with a sack of cash and a bow and arrow runs away, leaving a dead Bulletproof Man with an arrow in his back. ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=739#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Hooded Man: "Welcome to...the Pit of Despair! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
/ Woman: "Huh. It doesn't look so bad. Is that a food court?"
/ Hooded Man: "...of despair!"
/ Woman: "Ooh! They have smoothies! Are the smoothies 'of despair?'"
/ Hooded Man: "...yes! And citrus." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=740#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "And then his HEAD exploded!"
/ Nurse #1: "Boom! Blam!"
/ Doctor: "And SNAKES flew out of his BRAIN!"
/ Nurse #2: "Fwoosh! Fwoosh! Hiss! (oh no! snakes!) Hiss! Fwoosh!" / Caption: Dr. Stern felt that "blood loss" was too boring of a eulogy. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=741#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Santa reads a note that reads, "Dear Santa, I don't need anything this year. Please feed the starving children of the world. Love, Billy." ] / Caption: [ Santa's list of "Bad Kids A-C: Billy - SUCH a suckup!" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=742#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Lawyer: "Sure, the prosecution has presented a lot of "evidence" that my client killed her husband. But, if she were really guilty wouldn't she not want to get caught? If she didn't want to get caught, why would she leave any evidence? Their own argument defeats itself!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=743#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Lawyer: "My client wouldn't hurt anyone! Those women decapitated their own husbands! Also, the judge is a jerk!" / Caption: Poor Legal Strategy #12: Using your lawyer's head as a puppet. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=744#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Son: "Daddy, why does mommy have a different name every time we visit her?"
/ [ Dad and two kids stand in a cemetery before the tomb of Sue Anders. ] / Caption: REALLY should've learned her name. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=745#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Shakespeare writes the following poem"
/ "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? No, lardass." ] / Caption: Shakespeare's sonnets lost a lot in the editing process. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=746#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Voice: "Wow! This is the best day ever!" / Caption: Shortly after his Great Enlightenment, the Buddha finds a quarter. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=747#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC Presents:
/ Comics From the Future
/ Episode 1
/ Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
/ From March 2, 2017 / [ SMBC comic that reads:
/ "Woman: "I miss having control of my endocrine system."
/ Man: "Our robot overlords are not perfect in every way."
/ Caption: Susan and Steve were crazy and stupid.
/ All... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=748#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Come on, Doc! What's wrong with me, huh? Tell me! Tell me now!"
/ Doctor: "Well, I guess you're terminally IMPATIENT too." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=749#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Magician: "You're all holding an ace of spades!"
/ Audience: "WOWWWW!" / Caption: I love performing at the school for the blind. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=750#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Therapist: "Does your wife often accuse you of cheating?"
/ Man: "All the time!"
/ Therapist: "You know, I find the hardest thing in a relationship is trusting one another."
/ Man: "That is SO hot!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=751#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "If God knows the future, the future must already be determined. If the future is already determined, we have no control over our future actions. If we have no control over our future actions, we can't be judged based on them. So, either there is no hell, or God is a jerk." / Heading: About ten... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=752#comic |
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