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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Professor stands in front of a chalk board that reads "1 + 1 = 2" ] / Caption: Professor Ferman postulates why men are attracted to lesbians. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1023#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "That was so...so magical."
/ Woman: "Say, why don't we celebrate by picking up some Pepsi!"
/ Man: "W-what?"
/ Woman: "I just thought you might want to mentally associate this moment with the refreshing taste of ice cold Pepsi-Cola." / Caption: By 2042, all major corporations have begun sending perfect... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1024#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Jesus, as a magician, waves a wand over a hat. ] / Caption: This was way less boring than those Big Bang videos. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1025#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "What do you mean you don't believe in it? There are thousands of videos of it on the Internet! Here, look!"
/ Voice from the computer: "Rar!" / Caption: Julie had just explained her views on premarital sex. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1026#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "The operation was a complete success!" / Caption: And look! We saved your body in a jar! http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1027#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I did NOT cheat on you!"
/ Man: "Oh, come on!" / Woman: "Ted, did I cheat on him?" / Man: "No, not yet." / Woman: "THANKYOU!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1028#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Coming out of the closet didn't go so well... / Man: "Mom, Dad, I'm a homo - " / [ Mom and Dad look scared. ] / Man: "Potamus." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1029#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Hey, you know what else takes approximately three minutes?" / Caption: There are a lot of downsides to being in a plane crash. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1030#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "If you want the religious vote, you have to convince people that you're the holiest candidate."
/ Man #2: "All right. I think i get what you're saying." / Header: That evening... / Man #2: "Oh yeah? Well, I think public schools should display ELEVEN commandments." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1031#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Whoops! I just dropped a man's carotid artery. Ooh, and it looks like it was severed using the back of a rusty hammer. Whoops! I accidentally dropped a rusty hammer! Weird..." / Caption: "Anyway, I'm sorry...you were saying something about not being in love with me anymore?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1032#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Female scientist: "I need a sample of fulminant hepatitis strain JFH-I."
/ Man: "Darlin', you've come to the right place." / Caption: It later turned out she wasn't propositioning me. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1033#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Man writes "how many bullets does it take to kill my boss? less than or equal to 6" ] / Caption: Turns out violence does solve problems. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1034#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Ghost of woman: "Honey - my body is in a deep coma. I'm projecting my spirit so that-"
/ Man: "Oh, my God! Listen, before you go any further we need to discuss something." / Caption: I quickly ascertained that there was no possibility of a threesome. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1035#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Jesus: "Hey, kids! I took over for Santa this year! And guess what? Instead of toys, I bring you a three-hour lecture on togetherness with multiple Bible citations!" / Caption: ... "Where's my f**king fire engine?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1036#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Jesus: "Listen, they didn't have that title when I was around, and don't say I don't deserve it!"
/ Pope: "But, I mean - do you really need?" / Caption: That afternoon, he became Saint Jesus. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1037#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: A brief history of Theology / Header: Modern / Man: "What is the divine? Is he an external force, or a force within us? Is he even a he, or is God beyond definition, or even beyond comprehension?" / Header: Ancient / Man #2: "God wants a bigger goat!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1038#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "Now that you're satisfied with the procedure, I have a confession to make. I'm...not actually a gynecologist." / Caption: Todd silently exited the waiting room, donning his football helmet as he went. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1039#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man and woman: "That looked WEIRD." / Caption: We decided to never again play naked tennis. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1040#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Old Woman: "I just thought it'd be nice to have grandkids. That's all."
/ Man: "Well, maybe you should stay out of my goddamned business!" / Caption: Charlie got so upset after I artificially inseminated his girlfriend. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1041#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Lawyer: "Sexual harassment isn't real! It was concocted by unattractive women, such as jurors two through four, six, seven, and especially eleven, to play on our desire for political correctness!" / Caption: Perhaps his argument would have been more convincing if his hand had been OUTSIDE juror eleven's... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1042#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Schmoozing is not my forte... / Man #1: "You know, we have a lot in common."
/ Man #2: "Oh?"
/ Man #1: "Your mom went to Palo Alto High, right?"
/ Man #2: "Yeah."
/ Man #1: "Well, I had sex with her!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1043#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Shouldn't we -"
/ Man: "It's okay! I rolled a six!" / Caption: It later became clear that we should've used a condom after all. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1044#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Haha! I don't know, why? Eh? Oh...Oh, God. Wasn't that the setup to a joke?" / Header: Moments prior... / Man: "Why did my wife have to die?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1045#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man (singing): "Oh, I got the blues, baby...I'm a blues-havin' guy...put cyanide in all the bar patrons' drinks...and now they're gonna die, oh, I got the blues, baby..." / Caption: Now and then, I like to make sure the audience is still listening. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1046#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Oh yeah! I win! I win!" / Caption: Note to self: / Explain to John that "pillow fight" is a euphemism. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1047#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "You wanna see a list of things that aren't QUITE animal abuse?" / Caption: Still working out the kinks in my pick-up line repertoire. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1048#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "F-word you n-words! What the..." / Caption: Life has become much more pleasant since we installed those chips in KKK members' throats. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1049#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Dating Tips:
/ Unnerve your date by puzzling over simple questions / Woman: "I think I'll go to...the LADIES' restroom. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1050#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman #1: "I can't stop thinking about sex with my ex-husband."
/ Woman #2: "Here's what you do - next time you think a sexy thought, imagine roaches crawling all over your skin." / Header: Soon... / Man: "So what are these -"
/ Woman #1: "Just fill the bag!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1051#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Superman: "What if I punched it? Like, really hard." / Caption: Ultimately, Superman failed to defeat the energy crisis. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1052#comic |
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